Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

09 Jul 2010

Funniest lines

This might not have been an intentional one, but I thought it was hilarious that Johnnie Lee Higgins was described as "the player that the Raiders hope Heyward-Bey turns into."

Seriously, are our expectations for DHB that low already? Poor guy.

Posted by: Yaguar on 09 Jul 2010

9 replies , Last at 07 Sep 2010, 11:04pm by lechrus2@yahoo com

1
Re: Funniest lines
by Dan :: Fri, 07/09/2010 - 3:33am

The line that stuck out to me was describing Chaz Schilens, "His game - built around his size and strength - contrasts well with the weak, speedy guys across from him, showing that Tom Cable undoubtedly played the NES game "Ice Hockey" at some point during his life."

Yep, another DHB joke. Kudos to whoever did the Oakland receivers.

2
Re: Funniest lines
by drobviousso :: Fri, 07/09/2010 - 8:50am

"As usual the sack rate was poor, but that is in large part a reflection on Roethlisberger and his apparent belief that Real Men Don’t Throw Hot Routes"

5
Re: Funniest lines
by JPS (not verified) :: Mon, 07/12/2010 - 2:36pm

I got the attention of my cube mates when I laughed out loud at that Rothlisberger one!

3
Re: Funniest lines
by JasonK :: Fri, 07/09/2010 - 2:19pm

I'm partial to the Jonathan Richman reference on p. 134.

4
Re: Funniest lines
by Fargo :: Sun, 07/11/2010 - 9:58am

I like the comment on Jason Campbell:

"And so it came to pass that Al Davis, whose one offensive dictate is to throw deep at all costs, did trade for Campbell, whose most glaring shortcoming is a pathological unwillingness to throw more than 20 yards downfield. And lo, it
was fated that Campbell, cursed to wander from offensive system to system, once again had to learn a new offense. And Campbell did gamely try to throw passes to Darrius Heyward-Bey and Louis Murphy, but when those passes fell to earth, he lapsed into old habits, throwing six-yard passes to Zach Miller on third-and-15. And Davis’ heart did harden, and he ordered the dismissals of Campbell, Tom Cable, and anyone else upon whom his disfavor fell. And Campbell’s journey continued; to this day, there’s a veteran listed fourth on a minicamp depth chart somewhere, and
he answers to Campbell’s name, and he is a figure of pity."

Yeah, I guess the Raiders are still the dominant source of humour in the league.

6
Re: Funniest lines
by theshadowj :: Wed, 07/14/2010 - 2:40am

I enjoyed the ongoing joke about comparing white wide receivers to Wes Welker, and I laughed at loud at Julian Edelman's comment.

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Re: Funniest lines
by Raiderjoe :: Wed, 07/21/2010 - 7:58pm

Raiders giing to be ones laughing when win afc west this seasn

8
Re: Funniest lines
by MilkmanDanimal :: Mon, 08/02/2010 - 4:40pm

Regarding J.T. O'Sullivan:

" . . . if forced to play regularly, the already close-to-the-vest Bengals offense will turn more conservative than Rand Paul."

9
Re: Funniest lines
by lechrus2@yahoo com :: Tue, 09/07/2010 - 11:04pm

The team had to bring Tauscher out of semi-retirement last year after Allen
Barbre revealed himself to be a matador...

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