Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

02 Mar 2010

A New Name For...

OK. A question I posed on Twitter regarding Orlando Pace that I think you guys will have some good ideas for.

We need a word for players who leave the team they spent their entire career with, only to spend one ignominious season playing well below their expected level of performance.

Popular submissions on Twitter included the "Namath", the "Curtain Fall", "Unitased", and my personal favorite, "Businessman" -- because he still got paid.

I'll do my best to make sure the winning name shows up somewhere in FOA2010.

Posted by: Bill Barnwell on 02 Mar 2010

70 replies , Last at 18 Mar 2010, 11:40pm by Dan

1
Re: A New Name For...
by MilkmanDanimal :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 12:42pm

"Being Outpaced by history?"

2
Re: A New Name For...
by RojasNYC (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 12:43pm

The Matt LeBlanc Factor - 10 years of award winning success on friends, faceplant on his solo series, since then - nada.

14
Re: A New Name For...
by CJ (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:38pm

To a bigger degree, the Seinfeldian factor. It seems like they failed no matter what they try to do after the show ended

26
Re: A New Name For...
by tuluse :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:04pm

Does that make Julia Louis-Dreyfus the Fred Taylor of the group with one small but good role in Arrested Development?

28
Re: A New Name For...
by dryheat :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:14pm

Judging by the fact I still see commercials for it, her "Christine" sticom's been on for four or so years now.

3
Re: A New Name For...
by matthewglidden :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 12:45pm

"Franconian." Used to be HUGE in Europe, now an empty shell of its former self.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franconia

See also: Franco Harris, Seattle, 1984.

4
Re: A New Name For...
by Danish Denver-Fan :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 12:45pm

Moneyshooter?

/returns to dowloading porn...

5
Re: A New Name For...
by Joe T. :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 12:50pm

A subprime loan.

6
Re: A New Name For...
by Paul R :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 12:57pm

Asterisk.

69
Re: A New Name For...
by bravehoptoad :: Mon, 03/15/2010 - 1:54pm

Gets my vote.

7
Re: A New Name For...
by parttimemovieguy :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:11pm

Brett Hart reunion tour?

Yes, I realize he returned to the same company...

8
Re: A New Name For...
by mark hesse-withbroe (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:16pm

how about "in the glide path" (at the other end of the spectrum rookies of course would be "wheels up")

9
Re: A New Name For...
by Temo :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:21pm

The Rick Reilly.

10
Re: A New Name For...
by cdubya (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:23pm

Used car salesman....he knew what you were paying for wasn't worth it, but took your money anyways.

11
Re: A New Name For...
by TomG :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:27pm

"Lonely Man Season" in honor of "The Lonely Man" aka sad walking away song from the Incredible Hulk.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Incredible_Hulk_(TV_series)#Music

12
Re: A New Name For...
by Karl Cuba :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:33pm

Cloth-touchers, because they pushed it too far.

13
Re: A New Name For...
by MilkmanDanimal :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:35pm

Logan's Run

16
Re: A New Name For...
by Phil Osopher :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:50pm

I think we have a winner here

17
Re: A New Name For...
by ChaosOnion (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:53pm

Turning 30 this year, I approve this message.

54
Re: A New Name For...
by jebmak :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 9:42pm

My wife and I were amused by (and occasionally reference) the random orgy scene that was just kinda thrown in there. Other than that, pretty bad movie.

15
Re: A New Name For...
by ChaosOnion (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:41pm

Consultant - they are brought into the corporation, very well (over-) paid and everyone thinks they will bring about sweeping change. They do not, and then just fade away.

Water Cooler Guy - he sits around telling stories about the big program he worked on 10-15 or 20 years ago that was so successful. Lately? Middle management.

35
Re: A New Name For...
by drobviousso :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:29pm

I like consultant.

18
Re: A New Name For...
by billsfan :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:59pm

I guess the repeated ignominies of Drew Bledsoe are a whole different category.

(I also like the Eagles)

19
Re: A New Name For...
by JIPanick :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 2:05pm

"Off-Color Zombie" or even just "Zombie"

20
Re: A New Name For...
by Big Sky Bengal (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 2:06pm

It's chronologically misleading, but I think the purest option would be Star Wars Prequel'd.

21
Re: A New Name For...
by dk240t :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 2:08pm

Orlando Pace just Citibanked Chicago.

22
Re: A New Name For...
by dk240t :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 2:09pm

He went "The College Years" (think Saved by the Bell).

23
Re: A New Name For...
by FullMoonOverTulsa (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 2:26pm

Postdoctorate.

They earned their credentials somewhere else, and spent a year or two at another institution.

63
Re: A New Name For...
by TreeRol (not verified) :: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 3:13pm

Pace took a fellowship with the Bears.

65
Re: A New Name For...
by MilkmanDanimal :: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 4:26pm

"Fellowship of the Ring" would be an excellent name for the guy who joins a team late in his career for the purpose of trying to win that Super Bowl.

24
Re: A New Name For...
by Bkell (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 2:36pm

The "broken fuel gage".

He says he's still got something left in the tank, but its obvious by the speed he's moving that tank is bone dry.

25
Re: A New Name For...
by Vague (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:04pm

Waste of Pace

27
Re: A New Name For...
by lpstd :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:13pm

Another 48 Hrs. (aka the unnecessary sequel)

31
Re: A New Name For...
by dryheat :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:18pm

I'll continue that thought and go with Godfather III. Nobody who appreciates the first two acknowledges that it ever existed. Actually, I don't know what I'm saying. There were only two Godfather movies.

36
Re: A New Name For...
by MilkmanDanimal :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:52pm

Two Godfather movies, three Star Wars movies, only even-numbered Star Trek movies, and so forth.

"Unnecessary Sequel" as a concept works. Appropriately enough, "The Phantom Menace" would be perfect in more ways than one.

38
Re: A New Name For...
by tuluse :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 4:17pm

I throw my hat in with "The Phantom Menace," it's close to perfect.

Only some play on Generations and William Shatner could top it.

48
Re: A New Name For...
by Jimmy Oz (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 7:47pm

Phantoms aren't really there, which is bad. Menace is bad too. Its a double negative. Also The use of menace doesn't describe who they're menacing. Their own team, or the opposition? Confusion.

Consultant is better.

43
Re: A New Name For...
by Brendan Scolari :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 7:03pm

Godfather II and Star Wars III are awesome. The rest you can include.

60
Re: A New Name For...
by billsfan :: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 10:29am

Final Destination 2.

Or in Brett Favre's case, Final Destination 3.

(I also like the Eagles)

29
Re: A New Name For...
by dmb :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:15pm

Pace was like a captive Giant Panda: one of the last of a dying breed ('97 draft class), he was unable to reproduce his accomplishments in a new environment.

Sorry, fairly lame, but it's the best I can do. This is the type of question that Bill Simmons excels at answering ... maybe Aaron can ask him the next time he does a podcast?

30
Re: A New Name For...
by Duke :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:18pm

Is this a name for the player, or the act itself?

32
Re: A New Name For...
by smilerz (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:19pm

How about dot.com - everybody made money until I put my money in...

33
Re: A New Name For...
by wr (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:21pm

Squeezed Juice.

34
Re: A New Name For...
by Paul R :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:25pm

Erstatz.

37
Re: A New Name For...
by andrew :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 3:59pm

Facade

39
Re: A New Name For...
by The Guy You Don't Want to Hear (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 4:25pm

I don't think Namath is fair, because his final season, with the Rams, was actually better than his previous year with the Jets (In fact, I'm not sure there is a worse season in history by a good, much less great, QB as bad as Namath's '76.), but I'm sure my idea will be roundly criticized: The Falstaff Maneuver.

Falstaff is widely considered one of Shakespeare's greatest characters in both Henry IV plays, but his appearance in The Merry Wives of Windsor is generally considered a mistake, to the point that Harold Bloom said something like (this is from memory), "The Falstaff who appears in this play is an impostor."

40
Re: A New Name For...
by Jeff Fogle :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 5:26pm

"Surreal Sunset"

The sun is setting on their careers...and it's surreal to see Unitas in a Chargers uniform...or Namath in Rams gear. Everybody has a sunset season...it's a surreal sunset for the small number who have that one year in a weird uniform after a career somewhere else. Instead of referring to the player, give the phenomenon a name. Can't you hear John Facenda saying the phrase in the NFL Films biography about either guy? Or, Pace? The ultimate choice should pass the Facenda test...

From the franchise's perspective...maybe "cash for clunkers" would be best...

68
Re: A New Name For...
by smilerz (not verified) :: Mon, 03/08/2010 - 3:08pm

I'm not sure how you could go with anything but 'Cash for Clunkers'

41
Re: A New Name For...
by Hurt Bones :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 6:30pm

What about the "Norma Desmond" players who refuse to accept that they aren't stars anymore?

"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."

53
Re: A New Name For...
by The Guy You Don't Want to Hear (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 8:45pm

That gets my vote.

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Re: A New Name For...
by BroncosGuy (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 9:55pm

"Norma Desmond" is pretty damned good. Nice job, Hurt Bones.

61
Re: A New Name For...
by jds (not verified) :: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 10:55am

So the Cowboys release Emmitt Smith so he can Desmond for the Cardinals for a couple of years, Shaun Alexander signs with the Redskins to complete the Desmond to his career, and Orlando Pace Desmonds with the Bears in 2009.

Bill, I think you can close this Forum now.

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Re: A New Name For...
by Jeff Fogle :: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 3:28pm

The problem with "Desmond" is that everyone will think you're talking about Desmond Howard (Heisman Trophy winner and NFL player). And, "Norma Desmond" would only be ideal if the character had played Lovie Howell for a year on Gilligan's Island or something. The pop culture ideal would have to be past their prime AND spending time doing something way beneath their past level WHILE getting paid by somebody who didn't fully grasp how it wouldn't work. Tough to find all three at once. Some of the Orson Welles TV appearances doing magic tricks for Merv Griffin long after directing Citizen Kane are at least in the neighborhood. Not really ideal either.

"Orlando Pace Desmonds with the Bears in 2009?"

John Facenda is poetically describing himself rolling over in his grave.

"2009 in Chicago marked a surreal sunset for the legendary Rams lineman" works well in basso profundo.

Easier to title the phenomenon than the player...

42
Re: A New Name For...
by The Other Ben Johnson (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 6:58pm

Washington Redskin.

46
Re: A New Name For...
by dmb :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 7:26pm

As a Washington fan, that's as funny as it is painful.

44
Re: A New Name For...
by Brendan Scolari :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 7:05pm

A "Brendan Scolari".... What, that doesn't make sense? You're right, I just wanted my name in the book. Damn.

45
Re: A New Name For...
by Raiderjoe :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 7:09pm

surrleal sunset only one good so far

if drink enough tonight might be able to come up with soemthign good myself

47
Re: A New Name For...
by KyleW :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 7:36pm

Overdressed.

In relation to the player being dressed for too many games in that sorry final season.

57
Re: A New Name For...
by Theo :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 9:44pm

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!!

49
Re: A New Name For...
by HostileGospel :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 7:55pm

This always makes me think of Unitas with the Chargers (oddly, I wasn't alive during the era he played in, nor am I a Colts fan, so I'm not sure why I connect the two so strongly), so nothing is going to beat a verb form of "Unitas" as far as I'm concerned. Maybe it's a little unfair considering that he was traded, however.

--
There's a place I want to be. It's the NovaCare Center. That's in Philadelphia. One NovaCare Way, where the Eagles practice and then they eat cafeteria food and they watch film and we eat and we have fun.

-Donovan McNabb

50
Re: A New Name For...
by Kibbles :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 8:01pm

Al Bundy. Sure, he once scored 4 TDs in the city championship at Polk High, but now all he's good for is selling ladies' shoes.

51
Re: A New Name For...
by Costa :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 8:03pm

Hit-on-21

52
Re: A New Name For...
by Jeff Fogle :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 8:23pm

If you want a pop culture reference...best karma might be Orson Welles. Storied career...but his latter days were kind of as a parody of himself...and, fittingly for this theme, his final TV appearance was on...believe it or not, "Moonlighting."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orson_Welles

If the goal is a Bill Simmons type pop-reference, I'd vote for calling that last year an "Orson Welles". If you want Facenda type prose to describe that last season to melancholy music...then I'd submit "surreal sunset."

Okay with Nora Desmond...from the aptly named "Sunset Boulevard." Think a guy makes more sense though since these are men we're talking about...and Joe Namath was in as many TV commercials as Orson Welles was when I was growing up (lol).

55
Re: A New Name For...
by Theo :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 9:43pm

Bill, you've used 'ignominious' twice now. Do you needs words like that to make your point?
Find it in the dictionary and see if it still fits.
It's not a 'disgrace' or 'shame' what Pace did.

56
Re: A New Name For...
by zlionsfan :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 9:44pm
59
Re: A New Name For...
by BroncosGuy (not verified) :: Tue, 03/02/2010 - 10:08pm

My first two thoughts were Prodigal and Juice.

Prodigal. Plus: Like the Prodigal Son, the player invariably returns home to sign a phony contract so he can retire as an Original Team. Minus: Unlike the Prodigal Son, the resources are needlessly spent upon the son's leaving rather than his return.

Juice. Plus: Similar to Unitas and Namath, a star who went west to demonstrate that his washeduppedness was not a function of the Eastern Time Zone. Minus: Unlike Unitas and Namath, the tag suggests the possibility of being, beyond a contractual disappointment, a likely double murderer. Plus: The player can, years after retirement, reveal the secrets to his garnering one last fat contract in a creepy memoir entitled "If I Did It". Oh, wait. That's not actually a Plus.

62
Re: A New Name For...
by KarlFA :: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 11:44am

"The Decider" - as in he is the one that will decide when it's time to retire, not his lifelong franchise...

"Transitioned" - as in this is someone that probably once was tagged with the franchise or transition tag at some point, but in the end decided to 'transition' his way to another team and another paycheck...

"Own termer" - as in retiring on his 'own terms'...

"Game retirer" - as in "I don't want to let the game retire me...", common athlete cliche, although this is mostly used for guys going out on top, so I guess this isn't quite as appropriate...

"Billmunny" - a reference to Eastwood's character in Unforgiven, hired gun out for one last mission, also sounds like a reference to money (i.e. that last paycheck)

Karl, Miami

66
Re: A New Name For...
by justanothersteve :: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:26pm

Pamela Ewing Dream Season

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Re: A New Name For...
by jbrown (not verified) :: Thu, 03/04/2010 - 8:53pm

I think saying "The Bears got Olajuwoned by Orlando Pace" has a nice ring to it

70
Re: A New Name For...
by Dan :: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 11:40pm

I'll second the "gucci handbags" suggestion. As in "The Bears signed Orlando Pace? Sure, he has the name, but at this point I'm afraid he's just a gucci handbag." Or "Whoever signs Westbrook would be lucky to get anything more than a gucci handbag."

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