Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

09 Dec 2005

Lil' Ronnie's "Super Bowl Bound"

Oh, Colts fans. Poor, poor Colts fans. I'm not sure if a perfect season is worth the ridicule you're going to be receiving from the rest of us. Lil' Ronnie is a 12-year-old white kid from "the SouthSide of NAP," and here's his video for "Super Bowl Bound (2005 Colts Theme)." I'm not sure if the best part is when he drives up in a low rider, or when he calls Reggie Wayne his "homie."
(Hat tip to Deadspin. Oh, thank you, thank you Deadspin.)

Posted by: Aaron Schatz on 09 Dec 2005

70 comments, Last at 17 Jan 2006, 1:02pm by B

Comments

1
by Chris (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 3:56pm

I'd love to see the Colts get the perfect season and then lose in the divisional round of the playoffs. I think I'd laugh for the entire off-season.

Oh and that video leaves me feeling... confused.

2
by Trogdor (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:08pm

Wow.

At least the Colts had the sense to not appear in that video. I just... wow.

3
by Becephalus (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:18pm

This is part of whats wrong with america.

4
by Vlad (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:18pm

wow, that was.. wow.

If you wanna see this done properly, listen to the razor by the perceptionists:

http://www.definitivejux.net/av/player.php?id=568&filetype=song
The erm.. music in this piece is also appallingly drab. Just thought I'd point that out since it might be overlooked in light of the blistering performance from the 12-year old infant.

5
by Ray (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:28pm

Hah! I love unintentional comedy... He's got guts, you've got to give him that.

6
by Fnor (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:30pm

The universe needs to stop giving me more reasons to dislike the colts. It just isn't fair anymore.

7
by jon (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:45pm

Where are the video hoes?

8
by Joon (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:46pm

you guys ain't tryna rip on lil ronnie is ya? cuz he gwine knock you OUT. brutha is a HARD mofo.

9
by scott (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:46pm

Pure gold!

10
by michael (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 4:52pm

boy is that kid gonna be ticked when he has to rewrite his song after the colts rest their starters against 'zona in week 17.

11
by JonL (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:02pm

I say everyone here calls up "Hot 96.3" and requests the song at least eight times a day until the season's over.

12
by bobman (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:06pm

Please Colts, Please, run fast, very fast, away from this. Put on latex gloves, don't touch anything. The cops will be here soon to clean this ugly mess up. They'll blame it on OJ; almost worked once.

Listen to Dungy: One game at a time, pray for guidance, they're all tough games, no jive-ass shit like this video... well, I may have embellished.

I never thought that, after 35 years +/- of Colts fandom, surviving Godawful seasons and some mondo-lame draft picks, I might HAVE to change my allegiance. But this might be the tipping point.

13
by Rob (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:09pm

My computer inexplicably disconnected from the internet about 20 seconds into this song.

14
by JonL (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:14pm

I personally like it when he pops his jersey.

I know you can get a "multimedia CD" of this, but when will it be available as a ring tone?

And just to clarify, because it's a little muddy, the line is "world champions 'cause we 'bout to clown," right?

15
by MNRX (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:17pm

Your computer is smarter than mine. I got in past him attempting to rhyme "Marvin Harrison" before realizing that my brain was about to fold in on itself.

Everything exists in balance. As the Colts strive for the most perfect perfect record, they must be accompanied by the dumbest dumb football rap in the history of dumb football raps. :) :)

16
by jackg (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:32pm

umm....... wow!
Some day about 50 years from now this kid is gonna wake up and realize a couple of things
1) 12 -year olds don't look hard-core when they rap 2) Indianapolis should not, under any circumstances, be referred to as "NAP"
3) Indianapolis's south side is exactly the same as all other sides
4) He single-handedly jinxed the colts to such a degree that not only did they not go 16-0 but they also lost to the PATS again in the playoffs

wow...god bless the internet

what's the over-under on how many days until this clip shows upoin Sportscenter? I say 3, it will air on Sunday night...

17
by JG (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:37pm

Am I the only one who thought trying to rhyme "strips fumbles freely" with "Dwight Freeney" was pushing it a litttle? Or is it just that I heard it wrong because my ears were bleeding to badly and my uncontrollable laughter was making it hard to concentrate?

18
by Todd S. (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:39pm

OK, can we all agree that this NEVER HAPPENED?!

Let's just clear our minds, and think back...think back...

"We are the Bears Shuffling Crew
Shuffling on down, doin' it for you"

Ahhhh...that feels much better.

19
by Pat F. (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:46pm

You know, the sad thing is that he's still better than 50 Cent...

20
by T. Diddy (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 5:52pm

I would have titled this "Hustle and... NO!"

But that's just me.

Proposed new verse:
His kickoffs go to the forty-yard line / But when he gets benched he tends to whine / Peyton thinks he's drunk, but he's really just wack / My figgie-kickin' homeboy, Mike Vanderjagt!

21
by prunemike (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:01pm

I never thought I would feel bad for the Colts, but know I do.

22
by jebmak (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:12pm

That....was....AWESOME!!!!

23
by jebmak (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:14pm

Just when I begin to think that the Colts or their fans couldn't possibly do anything to make me hate them more, they go and do something like this...and TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES!

24
by Duane (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:20pm

Are we to believe the Colts *sanctioned* this? Oh, and in a couple of years Lil' Ronnie will drop the "Lil'", and a couple of years after that he'll insist on "Ron", followed by, I don't know, "L. Ron"?

25
by JonL (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:28pm

I've changed my mind. My favorite part is watching him "rock the mic" in the parking lot. No one looks quite sure what to do.

26
by Vash (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:30pm

24: Is the return of the founder of Scientology at hand?

I guess that would explain the sheer stupidity of the video.

27
by LTA (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:32pm

Maybe Bill Belichick had this recorded just to jinx the Colts into losing (preferably against New England in the playoffs). If he did, this is his most genius ploy yet!

28
by NF (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:34pm

I don't actually like rap in the least, so I'm not sure how bad this is as a rap, but it is very unispired, very hard to take seriously, and very lame. And the video has to be one of the least entertaining music video ever. Also, it might actually have worked better as a country song. Let that soak in for a moment.

29
by ajn (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 6:40pm

i think he has reggie wayne and jeff saturday confused...

30
by Johnny Unitas (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 7:20pm

Having watched that video, I'd just like to say I'm glad I'm dead.

31
by Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Person (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 7:40pm

Best football rap ever? Was that old Miami Hurricanes rap posted here or did I just find it on Deadspin? Anyways here is the link

“and he brought in all his 7th floor friends
She found it was [unintelligible] the Miami Football Team
It’s also the 7th floor king ding-a-lings
She thought Five Two was just my number then she realized
you multiply the bitch up then you get my dick size.�

32
by doktarr (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 8:26pm

3) Indianapolis’s south side is exactly the same as all other sides

Seriously, is there a more radially symmetric large city than Indianapolis?

33
by Jason O (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 8:29pm

I knew this would find its way here sooner or later. I was actually dreading this day. :(

I give the kid credit for putting his neck out, but to my knowledge the Colts had nothing to do with this at all. And not to mention it is the worst "rap" I have ever heard. I haven't even listened to the whole thing because my body ceases to function in a normal way about 14 seconds into the rap.

Yeesh. Can we all just pretend liek this never happened? Please?

34
by Jason O (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 8:43pm

doktarr - That's what happens when you carve it out of cornfields. :D

j/k Actually when the city was founded most people thought it would never last because it didn't have a navigable waterway and most of the area that is now known as "downtown" was swampland. Go figure. At least we don't have the "Corydon Colts."

35
by noahpoah (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 10:25pm

As a long time resident of Indiana (Bloomington), here are my highlights:

- random people walking around in between Lil Ronnie and the Hoosie.., er, RCA Dome

- an enormously fat man wearing Marvin Harrison's jersey

- the number of lines in the "song" that begin "his name is..."

- the nervous "dancing" Lil Ronnie engages in throughout

- the cramming of far too many syllables in lines referring to Indianapolis

- the fact that the video was "produced by Rick Warren for Crowd Pleezers Multi-Media"

- agin

- Harrison~comparison

- Duwight

And, yes, I watched it twice (more than that, really, as I backtracked a few times to make sure I heard what he was saying - and it's cleanly rhyming with Freeney).

He probably lives in Greenwood.

36
by Drew (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 10:30pm

I think you guys are seriously underestimating how hard Ronnie is. He's done at least 3 drive-bys in my neighborhood.

I'm as big a Colts fan as you'll find, but I refuse to defend this. I actually drive past Crowd Pleezers everyday going to and from work, but it never occurred to me to actually go inside. I may have to stop in and beg them to take this down.

37
by Noble (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 10:48pm

BURN THE CHILD! HE IS A WITCH!! BURN THE WITCH!!!

38
by Ted (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 12:36am

Re #19,
He's also still better than Lil Jon.

39
by Fnor (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 12:44am

Drew: Please. Take a weapon with you if need be. Just make the hurting stop.

One thing that I always find interesting about rap is that people assume that a word rhymes with itself. It doesn't.

40
by Catholic Samurai (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 1:17am

I'm the last person in the world to apologize for any perceived racial or ethnic grievances many have against white people. But, on this occasion, history shall be made.

On behalf of white people across the fruited plains, nay, around the world:

I’m sorry. Really, REALLY, sorry. Please don't hate us.

41
by Harris (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 1:48am

Oh. Oh no. No, no, no, no. I just . . . oh, oh god, no. I may never enjoy a peacful night's sleep ever again.

42
by MKH (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 2:50am

12: yeah, that's about where I'm at. Well, all except the 35 years part.. I'm short of that by a bit.

Ughhh. Someone stop this madness.

43
by ChicagoScott (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 3:16am

Just like the Super Bowl Shuffle, Steve Fuller was included in the video for no apparent reason.

44
by Francisco (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 4:44am

#35:

There is no doubt in my mind this kid is from Greenwood. And if you're in Bloomington, I'm guessing that like me you've heard worse MCs that don't have the excuse of being 12. Also, he's better than most of the Bears, and that godawful Grabowski clip that was posted here about a week ago (click my name). Actually, I loved the Grabowskis.

My personal highlight: random guy waiting to cross the street with a briefcase while LiL' RoN raps it up in front of the Dome. The rollin' with Lil' Ron clips are pretty good too.

You know, maybe it was all the losing for so, so long, but I could just eat this stuff up all day.

45
by masocc (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 10:55am

Hey, this just in! Somebody's given this kid a RECORDING CONTRACT! Click my name for details!

46
by masocc (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 10:57am

PLEASE DISREGARD THE PREVIOUS LINK, I GOT IT WRONG. This is the correct link, below.

(i.e. "Damn, I blew it")

47
by Vlad (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 12:44pm

Thanks to all the fans. We couldn't be where we are to day without y'all! And a super sized muthafuckin big up goes out to the Lord. ~peace bra~.

--from masocc's link. Man, I'd forgotten about that trio of fine and talented young americans. One of em's a lions fan - see what perrenial losing does to a young mind?

48
by Shane S. (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 1:10pm

Well, the green bay packers fans will always have C.W.A. (Cheeseheads With Attitude) to enjoy.

49
by Kami (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 5:10pm

Considering he's 12, this is actually really good.

The real problem he has is being 12 and thinking he should be rapping.

Meh. On balance, it sucks then.

GO TEH COALTS!!11oneone

50
by Richard (not verified) :: Sat, 12/10/2005 - 6:47pm

Wow. That kid is lousy.

51
by Mark (not verified) :: Sun, 12/11/2005 - 2:11am

If he were doing anything but rap, it would probably be cute. But rappers seem to be required to look street-wise and tough, and a 12 year old trying to look tough is just pathetic.

52
by SJM (not verified) :: Sun, 12/11/2005 - 2:49pm

What can I add to what has already been said?

Simply... amazing.

53
by Kielbasa (not verified) :: Wed, 12/14/2005 - 12:18pm

I have a link to the video at my home page.

sedgecourtjournalfootball.blogspot.com

Lil' Ronnie Rocks!

There, I said it.

54
by The Truth (not verified) :: Thu, 12/15/2005 - 2:18pm

The truth hurts! The fact that any of you would bash a 12 year old for doing a song about his home team just proves that there are haters all over the country that can't see past their own short comings. The fact remains that Colts are the only team with a perfect record. So try not to drown in your tears and better luck next season (especially you Patriots fans).

55
by Drew (not verified) :: Thu, 12/15/2005 - 2:47pm

Re 54

Paul Pierce is a fan of Lil Ronnie? That surprises me a little.

56
by ozzie (not verified) :: Sat, 12/17/2005 - 1:20am

man why yall be hatin on lil ronnie? hes 12 and got mor balls and rhymes then you all. We all know your just haters from all them losin teams this year. I wanna see u guys go out there and rap like that!

16-0 biatch

57
by Alex (not verified) :: Sat, 12/17/2005 - 1:26am

Give the kid some credit . . . he's an f'in 12 year old for God's sake. When I was 12 I was stealing beer from my dad, not recording rap songs.

58
by It\'s Just Me (not verified) :: Sat, 12/17/2005 - 1:43am

Man - I cannot believe that so many of you are bashing this kid!! He's 12, he's doing something he likes. He's not stealing, drinking, smoking - he is expressing himself with art, by singing! We should stand up and cheer for him and encourage him.

The problem with this country is not 12 year olds that like to sing, its the other people out there who feel so bad about themselves that they have to tear down a child.

You got my vote Ronnie!

59
by The Return of the Curse of the Ghost of Raul Allegre\'s Reve (not verified) :: Sat, 12/17/2005 - 2:30am

I'm sorry, I did a lot of stupid, embarrassing stuff when I was 12, but I made damn sure no one else saw it.

60
by RowdyRoddyPiper (not verified) :: Sat, 12/17/2005 - 3:56pm

This is Ri-Goddamned-Diculous.

If you suck you suck, period. Age has nothing to do with it. If you're putting yourself out there as an artist (I use the term very very generously here) criticism is part of the territory. Better to learn it now than later. The song isn't poor because he's 12, it's poor because it's unimaginative, derivative crap. The beats are pedestrian and recycled (from a Casio Synth probably), the rhymes are contrived and predictable. The production values video-wise are below after school special.

I don't think Lil' Ronnie should take all the criticism for this. The serious ass hats are the adults that bankroll, produce and distribute this shit. If you wanna be the public face of a lame ass attempt at putting your love for your team in rap form, get ready for the knives.

61
by TreyAnastasio (not verified) :: Mon, 12/19/2005 - 4:55pm

The curse of Lil Ronnie struck hard yesterday. This child has set the team back 5-10 years. "15-1 Superbowl bound" just doesn't sound as nice. Lil Ronnie, stay in school, playa'. You have no career in music.

62
by Ben (not verified) :: Mon, 12/19/2005 - 8:17pm

Man...you all need to shut up. The Colt's are the best team out there. All of your teams suck. The chargers got lucky this sunday that we had a bad game. Lil' ronnie is the bomb. That kid is awesome. We had a bad game because corey simon and robert mathis who stop the runs were hurt, otherwise we would have won.

63
by Ben (not verified) :: Mon, 12/19/2005 - 8:22pm

Man lil' ronnie is the bomb. He knows how to rap better than any of you incompitent losers. I personally think it is a good song, and don't think he is lame for doing it. Plus you guys are all sitting on your butts all day while he is rapping making hundreds of dollars. He has already sold 20,000 copies. So it is time for you guys who are dissing him to shut up.

64
by B (not verified) :: Mon, 12/19/2005 - 8:33pm

I used to feel bad about rooting against the Colts. Thanks for assuaging my guilt, Ben.

65
by mactbone (not verified) :: Mon, 12/19/2005 - 8:36pm

Yeah, nobody here makes "hundreds of dollars."

Don't make a correlation between the Colts and Li'l Ron. They are independent entities. Right now Ronnie sucks and if you're a Colts fan it's OK to admit that. Cincinnati Bengal fans can also admit that the stupid song someone made about them earlier this year does in fact suck.

Gotta go, the boss is on his way and I have to delete the history.

66
by Ben (not verified) :: Mon, 12/19/2005 - 8:39pm

okay lets see here. 20,000 copies at about $15 a copy that equals about $300,000 and that is just in a few weeks. give the kid some credit, he is awesome.

67
by J money (not verified) :: Mon, 12/19/2005 - 9:33pm

ay yo give the little dude some credit I dont see you making any money besides being a man horror. yo im torn between liking it and not liking it.

68
by Wonderwhy (not verified) :: Thu, 01/05/2006 - 4:24pm

Just want to say to all you haters!!!! GET A LIFE!!!
What did any of you bashers accompolish at the age of 12?
I'm sure NOTHING!!!! This kid recorded this song in like in hour! He wrote the song himself!!! With no intention of publicity!! I guess you've never had dreams, goals and certaintly no ambition! This kid has more courage and ambition than any of you could even dream of. I'm so sorry that your fav team must suck!!! So you hate on the BEST team in the NFL and a 12 year old kid who is just doing this for fun!!! GET A LIFE!!! And when we see my BOY performing at a HOME PLAYOFF GAME, MAKE SURE YOU TURN YOUR TV OFF SO YOU DON'T SEE YOUR TEAM GET WHIPPED!!!!!
PEACE!!!
Like to say thanks also, all of your negativity he takes it and turns it positive!! That is what kind of kid he is. Obviously your parents didn't teach any of you that!!

69
by Goober King (not verified) :: Thu, 01/05/2006 - 4:48pm

Anyone get the feeling this thread got posted on a Colts message board somewhere just before the San Diego game? Note the infusion of homers right around the 15th of December...

The Curse of the FO Message Board strikes again!

70
by B (not verified) :: Tue, 01/17/2006 - 1:02pm

What are the chances that Lil Ronnie will have a follow-up single? I guess "One and done-bound" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.