Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

09 Dec 2005

Who is Bro Sweets?

OK, people, you have to check this out. Washington apparently archives all team press conferences on its website. You know what that means, don't you? All of Clinton Portis' Thursday dress-up days! This week, he was "Bro Sweets," a four-armed guy giving out candy and bling to all the children and reporters in the Washington area. Make sure you hear him tell the story about how he lost his eye fighting a snake the last time he played in Arizona.

Posted by: Aaron Schatz on 09 Dec 2005

15 comments, Last at 04 Jan 2006, 7:57am by Jeff J.

Comments

1
by DNL (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 11:29am

Maybe next Thursday, he'll dress up like someone who knows how to run between the tackles.

"Rock Cartwright" could be his name.

2
by David/DeadTeddy8 (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 11:51am

Has Joe Gibbs commented about this yet? Do Gibbs and Portis ever actually talk? What would those conversations be like? Has anyone else noticed that Insane Portis started emerging once he and Sean Taylor ended up on the same pro team, and then went into overdrive when Santana Moss came aboard? Is it a Miami U thing? What would happen if the Redskins somehow acquired Kellen "I'm A Soldier" Winslow?

3
by dfarrar777 (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 11:58am

I would pay good money for a postseason Portis compilation DVD. Make it so, Redskins - this guy is fantastic.

4
by Matthew Furtek (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 12:31pm

It was fine when people were saying that Rock Cartwright was better than DeShaun Foster, but to suggest he can take over the starting RB job for Portis is crazy. It's the kind of thing that gets stats folks in trouble... taking a small sample then extrapolating it to multiple games (football and baseball) and 40 minutes (basketball).

That's not to say Rock wouldn't get the job done if he had oppurtunity.

The only valid complaint that I've had against Portis is with his stumbling, which hasn't happened as recently... perhaps he wasn't used to running with 15 more lbs.

Portis is on pace to break or come close to Washington's single season rushing record (held by Stephen Davis).

... and in a game where 2 RBs go over 100 yards, some credit has to go to their offensive line.

5
by big_adventure (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 1:31pm

Clinton Portis is the most amusing professional athlete in the US. Period. He may be insane, but he certainly is funny and clever.

It's nice to see a guy from The U make such a positive contribution to the NFL.

Seriously, most NFL players being that badly coached would be surly, agressive and cronically obnoxious with the media, and Portis is out there providing a weekly show. That link should become a permanent FO post.

-Sean

6
by Sam B (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 2:35pm

Gotta agree with Sean, he makes some great jokes, and I'm sure (not being American or Clinton Portis) that I'm not getting a lot too. What's the 'Jerome from South-East DC' reference?? The Sherrif one is the best IMHO.

7
by Ferg (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 2:40pm

Re 6: Southeast is the "bad" part of DC-- poorer and higher crime.

8
by Richard (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 2:45pm

Looks like most of the post re: Portis's antics are positive, which I agree with. Before reading the few posts that have been made here, I was trying to decide if the FO Awards were most like to feature this as most amusing or least amusing.

9
by Jason O (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 2:45pm

If the Redskins released these on dvd I know I'd buy one.

10
by Ferg (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 2:59pm

Re 4: some credit has to go to their offensive line.

I'd give even more credit to the Rams defensive line.

11
by Scott C (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 3:30pm

Even as an Eagles fan I gotta admit this is just hilarious. Way to go, Clinton. The NFL takes itself way too seriously sometimes.

12
by Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Person (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 7:18pm

I was watching America's Top Model or one of those type shows on VH1-- and THERE WAS CLINTON PORTIS posing with the models! What a pimp. All I could do was laugh and cheer the guy on.

Too bad he has such a big contract, Washington coaching might be a little more realistic about his abilities and thus get more production from him if they let him be a stronger Tatum Bell and let Rock/Ladell Betts be the Mike Anderson of the team.

13
by james (not verified) :: Fri, 12/09/2005 - 9:49pm

I think they should just shuttle those 3 in and run it every chance they get. Mark Brunnell throwing on 21 passes a game is the only way they are going to win.

The beautiful throw he had on the a post to Santa Moss was a great toss. He saw the safety had to completely turn his back to avoid being smoked by Moss and immediately threw it behind the safeties inside ear where Moss could go up and get it. Why isn't this tactic used more?

14
by perrynoid (not verified) :: Wed, 01/04/2006 - 3:10am

Lets not forget Johnny White-guy AKA Chris Cooley.

The Cosmic Circus is a fake radio show hosted and produced by a 35 yr old delusional MOCK JOCK who lives and broadcasts out of his parents basement.

WWW.THECOSMICCIRCUS.COM

15
by Jeff J. (not verified) :: Wed, 01/04/2006 - 7:57am

Let's hear it for Portis, who apparently doesn't take himself too seriously. I was down on the antics during the slump, but a little levity probably helped the team get to where it is now. The latest video is even more bizarre, with Cooley in the action. Go Skins!