Wow, I get to comment first on a DJ article. I better type something poignant and/or funny.....

Team suckage, based on the Gallo insult-o-meter:

Detroit (6 insults)
Oakland (6 insults)
San Francisco (4 insults)
New Orleans (4 insults)
Arizona (4 insults)
New York Jets (4 insults)
Buffalo (3 insults)
Green Bay (2 insults)
Jacksonville (2 insults)
Tennessee (1 insult)
Houston (1 insult)

However, the Houston insult was a pretty big insult - still, apparently it's more interesting watching Houston lose than, say, Detroit.

Forgot Cleveland (1 insult) and Baltimore (1 insult).

Still, apparently Gallo expects those teams to make great strides and just have bad offenses...

which, actually, isn't that bad a guess.

Best line...
Valtrex to Herpes

I liked the Citrus bowl diss. I think Spurrier quipped

Rowdy: Just use italics, for God's sake.

So, someone tell me. When is DJ Gallo getting a surpise tackling from Rodney Harrison. There is a lot of Patriot disrespect in this article.

DJ, always keep your back up against a wall.

I like this one:

Chicago at Arizona --

Monday Night Football comes to Arizona. Apparently the NFL is intent on making it crystal clear that MNF isn't the showcase game anymore.

I liked the one about choking in the SB vs. choking in the conference championship...

Detroit and San Francisco are so bad that the NFL might just tell them not to bother playing each other. ahahahaha hahahahaha That's so funny, clever and original.

So Pat since you didn't go back to the thread that we were talking on I will give you the compliment to the Eagles right now. I have a real bad feeling about having GB having to play the Eagles on Monday night in Philly again. But please, please don't hurt our Geriatric QB too much OK?

I think the thing that would worry me the most as a Green Bay fan would be the secondary: as in, the fact that it's basically the same as last year.

I remember talking with a different GB fan last year when I said 'isn't it worrying that Green Bay keeps firing their defensive coordinators to fix the problem, yet never changing any of the players?' Well, this time they at least kept the same coordinator, but it's not like they were a good defense last year.

If Green Bay's secondary isn't improved from last year, they're going to have a very long day against Philly.

But don't forget, Green Bay's secondary isn't quite as bad as it looked last year. Unlike many other teams, they didn't get a chance to play against Brett Favre.

Well...

We have a new SS from SEA and I think they are looking for a CB that can actually stop a play w/o committing PI so I think we will be a little better. And if we do draft AJ Hawk he sould be able to cover the weak side for passes pretty well too so it should be a little better.

GBfL, I don't recall who played safety for your boys last year, but I wouldn't look to Marquand Manuel to fix the secondary's problems.

He's a very smart player, and won't get caught out of position easily (unlike Etric Freakin' Pruitt). He filled in nicely for Hamlin last year. But he's a solid player, and that's about it.

I'd have liked for Seattle to keep him, but even if they had he probably wouldn't have started.

My favorite was this acidic chestnut that made me do a double take:

Arizona at Atlanta -- The league's two most mobile quarterbacks go head-to-head.

Runner up:

Miami at Chicago -- Two franchises still not completely healed from their respective Dave Wannstedt eras take the next step toward recovery.

DJ Gallo has absolutely become the funniest sportswriter.

This game likely will serve as another reminder to the Patriots that they might want to think about improving their secondary one of these offseasons if they can manage to find the time while ridding themselves of franchise legends.Heh, heh, heh.

I can see why it's on Page 2 - pretty thin stuff.

Heh. It's not like DJ Gallo is a hard-hitting writer. You realize he's the parody writer for ESPN, right #19?

I also loved the conspiracy theory of the 'Hard schedule' for NE. Heh.

Here is the one that I like:

Week 2
New England at NY Jets -- The conspiracy against the Patriots continues as they are forced to play the mighty Jets.

Sorry, this DJ guy just doesn't strike me as very funny. The Don Rickles of sports he ain't.

for those of us who do find DJ entertaining and may not have seen his website. SportsPickle is a parody sports magazine
where you can learn breaking news like
'Brett Favre issued an ultimatum to the Green Bay Packers today, saying he won’t return to the team unless they show they are dedicated to making a playoff run by improving the team’s vastly underperforming quarterback position.

www.sportspickle.com

Yeah, I've seen it. The Brushback website is more consistently funny.

Now I know DJ's stuff is going to be a regular on FO, people are starting to post about how much he sucks.

I'm happy he's joining the ranks of MMQB, TMQB, etc...

RE 16

Oh I know one player will not solve our problems, like I said I think they are looking for a CB to match up and not Pass Interfere so much (please oh please do not let us pick up Charles Woodson). And we need some help in our LB core as well but that is where the GB Brain Trust has focsued so I think we will have a better secondary. But only the season will tell.

GBFL,

Interesting you mention Woodson, because as

RE 27

Those damn '' get us all the time huh?

TO FOOTBALL OUTSIDERS, YOU HAVE HAD OVER A WEEK PLEASE FIX THE DOUBLE QUOTE BUG!!

Thanks

Your Loyal and sometimes confused fans.