Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

07 Apr 2006

DJ talks NFL on ESPN.com

DJ Gallo gives a rundown of the key games each week of the season with his usual blend of wit and, well, wit. Some funny stuff here, including showing the Pats some disrespect. My favorite quip is from week 15: "Cleveland at Baltimore -- Punting is awesome."

Posted by: Benjy Rose on 07 Apr 2006

28 comments, Last at 11 Apr 2006, 3:04pm by Green Bay for Life

Comments

1
by MGD (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 2:03pm

Wow, I get to comment first on a DJ article. I better type something poignant and/or funny.....

2
by Pat (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 2:41pm

Team suckage, based on the Gallo insult-o-meter:

Detroit (6 insults)
Oakland (6 insults)
San Francisco (4 insults)
New Orleans (4 insults)
Arizona (4 insults)
New York Jets (4 insults)
Buffalo (3 insults)
Green Bay (2 insults)
Jacksonville (2 insults)
Tennessee (1 insult)
Houston (1 insult)

However, the Houston insult was a pretty big insult - still, apparently it's more interesting watching Houston lose than, say, Detroit.

3
by Pat (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 2:44pm

Forgot Cleveland (1 insult) and Baltimore (1 insult).

Still, apparently Gallo expects those teams to make great strides and just have bad offenses...

which, actually, isn't that bad a guess.

4
by Matt (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 3:01pm

Best line...
Valtrex to Herpes

5
by RowdyRoddyPiper (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 3:19pm

I liked the Citrus bowl diss. I think Spurrier quipped

6
by Vash (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 3:50pm

Rowdy: Just use italics, for God's sake.

7
by Sean D. (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 4:07pm

So, someone tell me. When is DJ Gallo getting a surpise tackling from Rodney Harrison. There is a lot of Patriot disrespect in this article.

DJ, always keep your back up against a wall.

8
by Sam (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 4:09pm

I like this one:

Chicago at Arizona --

9
by Sam (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 4:10pm

Monday Night Football comes to Arizona. Apparently the NFL is intent on making it crystal clear that MNF isn't the showcase game anymore.

10
by wr (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 4:41pm

I liked the one about choking in the SB vs. choking in the conference championship...

11
by Richie (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 5:09pm

Detroit and San Francisco are so bad that the NFL might just tell them not to bother playing each other. ahahahaha hahahahaha That's so funny, clever and original.

12
by Green Bay for Life (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 5:37pm

So Pat since you didn't go back to the thread that we were talking on I will give you the compliment to the Eagles right now. I have a real bad feeling about having GB having to play the Eagles on Monday night in Philly again. But please, please don't hurt our Geriatric QB too much OK?

13
by Pat (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 5:56pm

I think the thing that would worry me the most as a Green Bay fan would be the secondary: as in, the fact that it's basically the same as last year.

I remember talking with a different GB fan last year when I said 'isn't it worrying that Green Bay keeps firing their defensive coordinators to fix the problem, yet never changing any of the players?' Well, this time they at least kept the same coordinator, but it's not like they were a good defense last year.

If Green Bay's secondary isn't improved from last year, they're going to have a very long day against Philly.

14
by Justin Zeth (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 6:19pm

But don't forget, Green Bay's secondary isn't quite as bad as it looked last year. Unlike many other teams, they didn't get a chance to play against Brett Favre.

15
by Green Bay for Life (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 6:24pm

Well...

We have a new SS from SEA and I think they are looking for a CB that can actually stop a play w/o committing PI so I think we will be a little better. And if we do draft AJ Hawk he sould be able to cover the weak side for passes pretty well too so it should be a little better.

16
by coltrane23 (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 6:59pm

GBfL, I don't recall who played safety for your boys last year, but I wouldn't look to Marquand Manuel to fix the secondary's problems.

He's a very smart player, and won't get caught out of position easily (unlike Etric Freakin' Pruitt). He filled in nicely for Hamlin last year. But he's a solid player, and that's about it.

I'd have liked for Seattle to keep him, but even if they had he probably wouldn't have started.

17
by the K (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 7:47pm

My favorite was this acidic chestnut that made me do a double take:

Arizona at Atlanta -- The league's two most mobile quarterbacks go head-to-head.

Runner up:

Miami at Chicago -- Two franchises still not completely healed from their respective Dave Wannstedt eras take the next step toward recovery.

DJ Gallo has absolutely become the funniest sportswriter.

18
by Kal (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 9:23pm

This game likely will serve as another reminder to the Patriots that they might want to think about improving their secondary one of these offseasons if they can manage to find the time while ridding themselves of franchise legends.Heh, heh, heh.

19
by MarkB (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 10:33pm

I can see why it's on Page 2 - pretty thin stuff.

20
by Kal (not verified) :: Fri, 04/07/2006 - 10:44pm

Heh. It's not like DJ Gallo is a hard-hitting writer. You realize he's the parody writer for ESPN, right #19?

I also loved the conspiracy theory of the 'Hard schedule' for NE. Heh.

21
by Jason (not verified) :: Sat, 04/08/2006 - 2:02am

Here is the one that I like:

Week 2
New England at NY Jets -- The conspiracy against the Patriots continues as they are forced to play the mighty Jets.

22
by Glenn (not verified) :: Sat, 04/08/2006 - 7:43am

Sorry, this DJ guy just doesn't strike me as very funny. The Don Rickles of sports he ain't.

23
by mikeabbott (not verified) :: Sat, 04/08/2006 - 9:58am

for those of us who do find DJ entertaining and may not have seen his website. SportsPickle is a parody sports magazine
where you can learn breaking news like
'Brett Favre issued an ultimatum to the Green Bay Packers today, saying he won’t return to the team unless they show they are dedicated to making a playoff run by improving the team’s vastly underperforming quarterback position.

www.sportspickle.com

24
by Glenn (not verified) :: Sun, 04/09/2006 - 12:19am

Yeah, I've seen it. The Brushback website is more consistently funny.

25
by Dervin (not verified) :: Tue, 04/11/2006 - 5:37am

Now I know DJ's stuff is going to be a regular on FO, people are starting to post about how much he sucks.

I'm happy he's joining the ranks of MMQB, TMQB, etc...

26
by Green Bay for Life (not verified) :: Tue, 04/11/2006 - 2:05pm

RE 16

Oh I know one player will not solve our problems, like I said I think they are looking for a CB to match up and not Pass Interfere so much (please oh please do not let us pick up Charles Woodson). And we need some help in our LB core as well but that is where the GB Brain Trust has focsued so I think we will have a better secondary. But only the season will tell.

27
by Sophandros (not verified) :: Tue, 04/11/2006 - 2:38pm

GBFL,

Interesting you mention Woodson, because as

28
by Green Bay for Life (not verified) :: Tue, 04/11/2006 - 3:04pm

RE 27

Those damn '' get us all the time huh?

TO FOOTBALL OUTSIDERS, YOU HAVE HAD OVER A WEEK PLEASE FIX THE DOUBLE QUOTE BUG!!

Thanks

Your Loyal and sometimes confused fans.