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19 Nov 2009

Eagles Settle For FG After 260-Yard Drive

As reader Chris notes, The Onion figured out why our stats love the Eagles. Hey, they stole our contest, too!

Posted by: Bill Barnwell on 19 Nov 2009

19 comments, Last at 22 Nov 2009, 9:11pm by Gryfyn1

Comments

1
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 4:29pm

I kind of enjoyed the Pats-Colts story too ... http://www.theonion.com/content/news/patriots_lead_colts_at_halftime

9
by The Ninjalectual :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 6:30pm

Yes, that one was great!

"Just look at that pumpkin."
-John Madden, looking at the moon.

10
by dmb :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 6:33pm

In related news, pulled from their ticker: "Poll: 3.1% of NFL head coaches would go for it on fourth down from their own 28."

16
by Guy #1 (not verified) :: Fri, 11/20/2009 - 3:17pm

The rest of them are too scared of media, fans, and owners. Belichick's a cold-blooded killer, friend

17
by M :: Fri, 11/20/2009 - 5:26pm

Someone needs to set up a thread to Bill Simmons latest article about Bill Belichek's decision to go for it on fourth and 2.

I'd never listend to Bill Simmons' podcast until this year when Aaron was on discussing Fantasy Football. People were ripping Aaron for his performance; frankly, Bill sounded like a complete weenie to me (voice and content of his sentences).

Maybe he's just a funnier version of Peter King or Gregg Easterbrook (substance-free column-writing); that, or maybe he should just write about basketball. Wait, he can't hate Kobe anymore? Maybe he should stop writing AND talking.

2
by Key19 :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 4:31pm

Honestly, the Eagles would probably win a lot of football games if they could put together 53 minute drives consistently.

On a somewhat related note, has anyone run the numbers to see if the Eagles would actually be better off false starting in short yardage situations? Are the Eagles more likely to convert 4th and 6 than 4th and 1?

4
by billsfan :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 5:01pm

4th and 26, maybe.

(I also like the Eagles)

5
by Temo :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 5:06pm

If that were the case, then Jason Peters needs an apology.

3
by Lance :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 4:56pm

Regardless of the outcome, this game would be the most awesome game ever to watch. Converting on a fake punt on 4th and 72? Even as a Cowboys fan, I could appreciate that. In true Onion style, you have to appreciate the too-close-to-reality zinger at the end: "Backup QB Michael Vick took one snap from center during the nearly hour-long drive, failing to complete a screen pass."

15
by Theo :: Fri, 11/20/2009 - 3:52am

The truth is sometimes very funny. Needs no work.

6
by morganja :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 5:48pm

The Donovan McNabb on the Eagle fans was perfect. Too true.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/donovan_mcnabb_eagles_fans

7
by morganja :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 5:51pm

I just read the Pats-Colts one. I can't stop laughing.

8
by justanothersteve :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 6:22pm

Definitely a classic. Even though they pound one point into submission.

13
by Bobman :: Fri, 11/20/2009 - 2:24am

Then hit it with stick and stomp on it, and then mangle their feet with sledge hammers, then drop safes onto their heads from five story windows (Wile E Coyote style) to pile-drive their bodies through the earth's crust to drive that point to the hot mantle. Then stomp some more, if only to get the feeling back into their bloody toes.

11
by Harris :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 8:41pm

It's funny because it destroys my soul!

Hail Hydra!

12
by Arson55 :: Thu, 11/19/2009 - 10:41pm

I think the Eagles drive story was far better than Patriots/Colts one.

14
by Bobman :: Fri, 11/20/2009 - 2:29am

More creative, at least, and more fun to visualize. Who hasn't played a game like that in their mind or backyard. A PBP writeup would have been over kill but fun (nine consecutive false starts? five holdings?), but of course that would have forced them to confront halftime and a kickoff.....

They could have combined the two articles and had the Eagles open the game with a 59 minute FG drive, then Manning takes Indy downfield with a minute left to win. Said Manning after the game: "I could tell Donovan was getting tired out there, but I just kept my focus so I could finish crocheting a yellow HOF blazer, and waited my turn."

18
by utvikefan (not verified) :: Sat, 11/21/2009 - 2:24am

I am glad they figured out the Eagles bias on your computer. Myself, I somehow was thinking that your computer, the BCS computer, and TMQ were sitting around eating $5 cupcakes and playing a joke on all of us.

19
by Gryfyn1 (not verified) :: Sun, 11/22/2009 - 9:11pm

Wow.. that a long way to go for a Micheal Vick joke ...

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