20 May 2005, 11:00am by Michael David Smith
British anthropologists have found that competitors at last year's Olympics were more likely to win their contests if they wore red uniforms or red body armor. "Across a range of sports, we find that wearing red is consistently associated with a higher probability of winning," report Russell A. Hill and Robert A. Barton of the University of Durham in England. The abstract of their study is here.
19 May 2005, 10:24pm by Aaron Schatz
Republican congressman Cliff Stearns has introduced legislation that would impose a single steroid policy upon all professional sports, including two years suspension for the first offense. You know, I've often said that the problem with the government is that it just isn't forcing enough Draconian regulation on American business. (Question that I know is unrelated to football: Does this mean that the Raptors and Blue Jays can juice all they want with no punishment?)
19 May 2005, 04:27pm by Michael David Smith
WCCO TV is reporting that Onterrio Smith has been suspended for the entire 2005 season. I just saw this and wanted to put it up quickly, so I haven't had time to come up with a good Whizzinator joke. Feel free to insert your own.
16 May 2005, 12:13pm by Michael David Smith
Peter King reports this week that Jerry Rice's agent has faxed all 32 teams to inform them that he'd like to play again this year. So far he's found two teams with interest. My own opinion is that Rice would be a valuable fourth receiver for a few teams, although one thing probably holding him back is that most teams like to use their fourth receiver on special teams, which isn't going to happen with Rice.
14 May 2005, 12:39am by Aaron Schatz
The Sports Economist has the latest on Tom Benson's quest to squeeze every possible penny out of the state of Louisiana before he inevitably moves his team somewhere else. You know, when I read that Benson may move to Los Angeles, I figure, hey, it does make some sense. When I read that Benson is talking about moving the team to San Antonio, well, I'm not quite sure why San Antonio is any better than New Orleans. But when I read that Benson is talking about moving the team to Albuquerque, well, at that point you have to stop taking anything he says seriously.
12 May 2005, 05:49pm by Michael David Smith
Andrew Perloff of SI.com says Randy Moss might just go down in history as the best receiver of all time. He makes what I consider to be a very weak case.
12 May 2005, 10:17am by P. Ryan Wilson
Josh Elliott of SI.com has some suggestions on how to make the NFL even better! I tend to disagree with almost all of them (No cut-blocking is probably a good idea, and I might be persuaded that fair catches should be abolished), but since we've already reached our "one Whizzinator story per week" quota this is what I'm going with.
11 May 2005, 11:00am by Aaron Schatz
Apparently, Minnesota players just love the ganja. So much so, in fact, that it is now reported that Onterrio Smith was caught at the airport with dried urine and a prosthetic device ("The Whizzinator") meant to help people evade drug testing. I repeat, dried urine. This is apparently why Minnesota has to carry five running backs.
10 May 2005, 06:43pm by Michael David Smith
Peter King says the Browns will take somewhere in the neighborhood of $5 million from Kellen Winslow for his motorcycle stunt. He also completely evades a question about whether he would ever decline more money from Sports Illustrated as he says athletes should do, and answers a question from Russell Levine of West Orange.
09 May 2005, 03:21pm by Michael David Smith
We've discussed here before the way the Redskins and the Washington Post can't seem to get along. This article examines who the team is now using its Web site to break more news, such as the signing of receiver Santana Moss. I don't know which is more absurd, the Redskins' claim that news on their site will be unfiltered or a Post editor's claim that what the Redskins are doing is "Orwellian." As a fan, I think the more different avenues are available for me to find out about my team, the better.
Tom and Mike have climbed to the top of the Hill of Nonsense and unleash another wave of insane wagering on the world.