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19 Oct 2012

NFL Lowdown: Week 7

Ed Reed has died of dysentery. No, he is just complaining again.

Posted by: Mike Tanier on 19 Oct 2012

25 comments, Last at 21 Oct 2012, 3:36am by the K

Comments

1
by dryheat :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 7:39am

Died of dysentery? Was he hiding his great-grandfather's watch in his ass?

Okay, off to actually read the article.

18
by Bobman :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 11:27pm

Been years since I saw it, but I thought Walken said he "wore" that uncomfortable chunk of metal up his ass... I always found that verb much funnier in context.

21
by tuluse :: Sat, 10/20/2012 - 4:02am

Hey Bobman, it's been a long time since you've been around. Nice to see you.

24
by MJK :: Sat, 10/20/2012 - 5:14pm

Seconded. Good to see you again!

2
by James-London :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 8:18am

The Cardinals-Vikings section violates Rule #1 I'm sure, but wow, it's good.

Phil Simms is a Cretin.

5
by Dean :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 9:49am

It's OK because A) it's Tanier, and B) he's not actually taking sides, just mocking both.

16
by andrew :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 1:39pm

Speaking of wow, Kluwe no longer plays it. He mentioned it in an article linked from an earlier quotes of the week article. No Pandas for Kluwe.

"I was corrupt before I had power!" - Random

17
by bengt (not verified) :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 10:06pm

You don't talk about Fight Club?

23
by dbostedo :: Sat, 10/20/2012 - 9:47am

Rulle number 1 here is we don't talk about politics... of course, rule number 2 is that WE DON'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS!!!!

3
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 9:30am

The Oregon Trail reference in the Texans-Ravens capsule takes me back to my 5th grade computer lab. Never thought a football column would do that.

-I'm not Billy Bad-Ass.

4
by Ryan D. :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 9:32am

I was expecting to read that Joe Flacco proclaimed himself to be an elite Oregon Trail player. He would then try to ford a river that was 1000 feet across, and 24.6 feet deep in the middle, causing party members Terrell, Ray, Lardarius, and Ed to all drown. Thankfully, Joe only lost 11 bullets and 3 pairs of clothing.

9
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 10:15am

The Eagles/Cowboys and their late-game mishaps would be better fodder for Oregon Trail satire.

-I'm not Billy Bad-Ass.

10
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 10:16am

double-click

6
by Dean :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 9:50am

Jerry Jones wasn't available to comment about RBs this week because he was still excited about Roy Williams "bringing some 'wow'" to their passing game.

7
by DisplacedPackerFan :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 9:58am

Thanks again for the weekly attempt to not spray coffee on my monitor. You'd think I would learn to not drink and read Tanier articles.

8
by DEW (not verified) :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 10:11am

I would definitely pay good money to see an army of lawyers in black sedans storm the field during a Saints pregame warmup.

11
by RichardD (not verified) :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 11:31am

"Vilma is either suspended or he isn't." So many people are wondering whether he's guilty or not. Funny to think we are not even sure if he's being punished.

12
by Boomer*Da Bears* Sooner (not verified) :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 11:53am

Is there another link to this article? When I open up the page it is all F'D up and acts like it is having a seizure. Is there another way to view it?

13
by DisplacedPackerFan :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 12:12pm

Using Chrome? There is something with their css that Chrome doesn't like, since I'm weird and use Firefox and Chrome both I just view these in Firefox.

14
by HabeasDorkus (not verified) :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 12:36pm

Wait, does the Jets-Patriots capsule mean I have to vote for Mitt Romney now? TAAAANIEEER!!!

15
by ChicagoRaider :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 12:52pm

Tanier wrote a column that did not make fun of the Raiders. Is this a 10-pound bag of cornmeal here...

19
by Bobman :: Fri, 10/19/2012 - 11:36pm

Well, without getting into specifics, Tanier sure nailed the Colts run D issues. Missing 3 starters on the DL, a pro bowl OLB, and maybe their old starting MLB (Angerer may be back, but if so will split time). Even healthy they are challenged vs the run, but riddled with injuries... ugh. Trent Richardson better make sure he has his DVR set right because this game could be one he wants to show his grandchildren. Colts' main hope is that Luck and Wayne somehow hook up for 300 yards and 42 pts, just the two of them, forcing Cleveland away from the run game. Even then, Indy is no great shakes vs the pass.

Sigh, I just checked and I wrote almost the exact same thing in the comments nine years ago, when FO was just an infant in its crib. And again in '06 before the second Jags game, and once more in....

20
by JohnD (not verified) :: Sat, 10/20/2012 - 12:13am

I think it was Kravitz regarding the Jags who said the only thing that stopped them from gaining more yardage on the ground was the end zone.

22
by Karl Cuba :: Sat, 10/20/2012 - 7:44am

The Green-Benson stuff got me pretty good.

25
by the K :: Sun, 10/21/2012 - 3:36am

I can't believe "WildKap" isn't the accepted nickname for that part of the 49ers offense.

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