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19 Oct 2012
Ed Reed has died of dysentery. No, he is just complaining again.
Posted by: Mike Tanier on 19 Oct 2012
25 comments, Last at
21 Oct 2012, 3:36am by
Died of dysentery? Was he hiding his great-grandfather's watch in his ass?
Okay, off to actually read the article.
Been years since I saw it, but I thought Walken said he "wore" that uncomfortable chunk of metal up his ass... I always found that verb much funnier in context.
Hey Bobman, it's been a long time since you've been around. Nice to see you.
Seconded. Good to see you again!
The Cardinals-Vikings section violates Rule #1 I'm sure, but wow, it's good.
Phil Simms is a Cretin.
It's OK because A) it's Tanier, and B) he's not actually taking sides, just mocking both.
Speaking of wow, Kluwe no longer plays it. He mentioned it in an article linked from an earlier quotes of the week article. No Pandas for Kluwe.
"I was corrupt before I had power!" - Random
You don't talk about Fight Club?
Rulle number 1 here is we don't talk about politics... of course, rule number 2 is that WE DON'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS!!!!
The Oregon Trail reference in the Texans-Ravens capsule takes me back to my 5th grade computer lab. Never thought a football column would do that.
-I'm not Billy Bad-Ass.
I was expecting to read that Joe Flacco proclaimed himself to be an elite Oregon Trail player. He would then try to ford a river that was 1000 feet across, and 24.6 feet deep in the middle, causing party members Terrell, Ray, Lardarius, and Ed to all drown. Thankfully, Joe only lost 11 bullets and 3 pairs of clothing.
The Eagles/Cowboys and their late-game mishaps would be better fodder for Oregon Trail satire.
Jerry Jones wasn't available to comment about RBs this week because he was still excited about Roy Williams "bringing some 'wow'" to their passing game.
Thanks again for the weekly attempt to not spray coffee on my monitor. You'd think I would learn to not drink and read Tanier articles.
I would definitely pay good money to see an army of lawyers in black sedans storm the field during a Saints pregame warmup.
"Vilma is either suspended or he isn't." So many people are wondering whether he's guilty or not. Funny to think we are not even sure if he's being punished.
Is there another link to this article? When I open up the page it is all F'D up and acts like it is having a seizure. Is there another way to view it?
Using Chrome? There is something with their css that Chrome doesn't like, since I'm weird and use Firefox and Chrome both I just view these in Firefox.
Wait, does the Jets-Patriots capsule mean I have to vote for Mitt Romney now? TAAAANIEEER!!!
Tanier wrote a column that did not make fun of the Raiders. Is this a 10-pound bag of cornmeal here...
Well, without getting into specifics, Tanier sure nailed the Colts run D issues. Missing 3 starters on the DL, a pro bowl OLB, and maybe their old starting MLB (Angerer may be back, but if so will split time). Even healthy they are challenged vs the run, but riddled with injuries... ugh. Trent Richardson better make sure he has his DVR set right because this game could be one he wants to show his grandchildren. Colts' main hope is that Luck and Wayne somehow hook up for 300 yards and 42 pts, just the two of them, forcing Cleveland away from the run game. Even then, Indy is no great shakes vs the pass.
Sigh, I just checked and I wrote almost the exact same thing in the comments nine years ago, when FO was just an infant in its crib. And again in '06 before the second Jags game, and once more in....
I think it was Kravitz regarding the Jags who said the only thing that stopped them from gaining more yardage on the ground was the end zone.
The Green-Benson stuff got me pretty good.
I can't believe "WildKap" isn't the accepted nickname for that part of the 49ers offense.
The Vikings need offensive line help, while the Bears, Lions, and Packers have significant defensive concerns.
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