Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

23 Oct 2013

Breaking Madden: 44 Greg Schianos

Not that Breaking Madden isn't always amazing anyway, but obviously I'm going to link it when my virtual approximation is set loose on Greg Schiano.

(It's only fitting that an FO staffer would play for the Panthers after how much our projections liked them.)

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 23 Oct 2013

27 comments, Last at 30 Oct 2013, 11:43am by In_Belichick_We_Trust

Comments

1
by Hurt Bones :: Wed, 10/23/2013 - 2:57pm

I shall now call you Sackmeister.

2
by Temo :: Wed, 10/23/2013 - 3:36pm

That was fantastic.

3
by Ryan D. :: Wed, 10/23/2013 - 3:56pm

Wow, a 4th quarter lead that even Ron Rivera can't lose.

4
by MilkmanDanimal :: Wed, 10/23/2013 - 4:21pm

This is the best Greg Schiano-related thing I have ever seen.

5
by ChrisS (not verified) :: Wed, 10/23/2013 - 4:33pm

Awesome & Hilarious

6
by Jburke (not verified) :: Wed, 10/23/2013 - 5:42pm

My ribs feel like they took 38 sacks just from laughing so hard. It's official Schiano is the league's biggest D-bag.

7
by Theo :: Wed, 10/23/2013 - 7:48pm

What David Carr called 'sunday' in 2002.

Anyway, that was hilarious and brilliant. Brillarious.
Oh and the new Madden looks worse than the version I have on the Super Nintendo.

8
by Theo :: Wed, 10/23/2013 - 8:08pm

The question is: did the other team kneel down at the end of the game and what play did you call against it?

9
by andrew :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:17am

Terrific stuff.

I'm reminded of the Da Bears SNL sketch where the bears fans believe a team of Ditkas would defeat the New York Giants (the coach Ditka, not the player Ditka).

It got me to wondering what coaches might fare best against other teams of coaches...

Rules would have to be a coach at some point in his head coaching career. Probably have to exclude the era of player coaches or you'd end up with someone like Jim Thorpe from the early days.

That being said, options include really young head coaches (Lane Kiffen, Don Shula (each in their first year)... coaches who had just recentlyretired from playing (e.g. van Brocklin, Jack del Rio).. and really large former player coaches (e.g. Mike Tice).

10
by commissionerleaf :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:21am

Mike Singletary.

13
by Hurt Bones :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 9:57am

There is a trio of former Bucs coaches that looks pretty good. 44 Sam Wyches, 44 Ray Perkins and 44 Tony Dungys would all smoke 44 Greg Schianos.

Sam Wyche was 39 when he tok the Bengals job. He had a seven year career as a QB and at 6'4' 218 a pretty good physical specimen. Ray Perkins was 37 when took the Giants job. He played 5 seasons as a WR for the Colts. So he had some talent. 6'3" 183lbs. Dungy was 40 and had played 3 seasons as a DB, 6'0" 188.

And of course as a nod to RJ, Art Shell was 42 when he took the Raiders job and he was a pretty good player.

18
by DavidL :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 6:00pm

44 Herm Edwardses could be entertaining.

21
by TimK :: Fri, 10/25/2013 - 7:45pm

Dan Reeves? He was 37 when he became Head Coach at Broncos, but had been player coach, then coach at Cowboys for about a decade before that.

24
by Anonymousse (not verified) :: Sat, 10/26/2013 - 10:55pm

44 Tony Dungys would spend the entire game preaching hate, and lose.

11
by CBPodge :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 7:24am

But hey, the Bucs won the time of possession battle.

12
by Never Surrender :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 9:00am

Simply amazing.

14
by Independent George :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 2:07pm

But for his insistence on kindness to his fellow man, Clarence BEEFTANK might have been a great Schiano Man.

15
by MilkmanDanimal :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 2:08pm

That team might have won if the punter had been created as ROBO-SCHIANO.

16
by William.Smith :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 2:58pm

Great article! I laughed so hard, I had to get off my chair.

Thank you.

17
by sundown (not verified) :: Thu, 10/24/2013 - 5:18pm

Absolutely hilarious! The Schianos of the world would call that time wasted... but I'm not a Schiano!

19
by Michael LaRocca (not verified) :: Fri, 10/25/2013 - 12:10am

Greg Schiano makes Ray Perkins look laissez-faire.

20
by TADontAsk (not verified) :: Fri, 10/25/2013 - 12:24pm

Maybe the next Breaking Madden could be putting a 44-year old Brett Favre on the Rams.

22
by PatsFan :: Fri, 10/25/2013 - 8:51pm

When do we get 44 John Malkoviches?

23
by Hurt Bones :: Fri, 10/25/2013 - 9:59pm

It would be different he would have to control that team unlike the Schiano team where Madden controlled it. I mean one really has to experience being John Malkovich.

25
by justanothersteve :: Sun, 10/27/2013 - 9:19pm

If we have 44 Malkoviches, we need an Inside Greg Schiano movie.

26
by justanothersteve :: Sun, 10/27/2013 - 9:19pm

If we have 44 Malkoviches, we need an Inside Greg Schiano movie.

27
by In_Belichick_We... :: Wed, 10/30/2013 - 11:43am

He replaced all of the NFL players with a guy that has no strength, speed, or blocking ability and the game responded accordingly.
This is funny why?
Even the crude and lame facebook QBs are funnier than this.
I guess it must be "in" to make fun of Schiano.

Lame.