Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

18 Nov 2013

Mandatory Monday: NFL Classified

I have fun "classifying" all 32 teams according to types this week: offensive teams, defensive teams, doubt generators, and so on. Not all of the categories match the numbers precisely, but it makes for some fun comparisons. Follow the link (or Click around Sports on Earth) for my take on the 49ers offense, such as it is.

Posted by: Mike Tanier on 18 Nov 2013

8 comments, Last at 21 Nov 2013, 2:57pm by Intropy

Comments

1
by BillWalsh'sHolyGhost (not verified) :: Mon, 11/18/2013 - 8:42am

It is amazing the Niners kept the game as close as they did. The Niners offense looks so inept, I expect them to trot out Wes Mantooth next week. The line is a sieve, the WRs can't get separation, and Kap can't make the right reads. This season is frankly looking like I won't get excited about football until the draft.

2
by young curmudgeon :: Mon, 11/18/2013 - 9:03am

did you mean "Russell Wilson triple lutz?"

3
by SeahawksMatt (not verified) :: Mon, 11/18/2013 - 9:05am

I just about spewed coffee all over my keyboard at "let's get Linnaean!" (and the accompanying Ray Lewis joke). Nice work.

4
by TomKelso :: Mon, 11/18/2013 - 11:35am

"Their road to the playoffs is a smooth, level bowling lane. They are in the process of accidentally squirting Krazy Glue on their bowling balls."

That second "bowling" is probably necessary; the Lions appear fully capable of doing whatever possible to cause maximum damage to themselves.

5
by Ian Chapman (not verified) :: Wed, 11/20/2013 - 2:08pm

Well, these are the Lions. Isn't doing as much damage to yourself an intrinsic part of the Lion's DNA?

6
by Ryan D. :: Thu, 11/21/2013 - 11:17am

Someone at ProFootballMock has been reading Mike Tanier's Mandatory Monday...

http://profootballmock.com/falcons-sign-73-de-chewbacca-out-of-tattooine...

7
by tuluse :: Thu, 11/21/2013 - 11:36am

The reporter needs to do some fact checking, everyone knows Chewy went to the University of Kashyyyk.

8
by Intropy :: Thu, 11/21/2013 - 2:57pm

That's weird. I would have figured him for a TE. Maybe he's a two-way player.