Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

27 Dec 2006

Week 17 Rundown: Not Slowed by Christmas

We don't get any "Winner Reaches the Playoffs" storylines in Week 17 this year, but we do have a lot of "One Team has Clinched, One is Still Alive" and "Playing for Pride," plus a couple of "Two Teams Hanging By a Thread" games. One of these years, there's actually going to be a tie in Week 17, so all those "need X or tie" playoff scenarios will actually mean something. Also this week: Everyone in San Francisco loves their balls!

Posted by: Mike Tanier on 27 Dec 2006

37 comments, Last at 30 Dec 2006, 10:34am by michael

Comments

1
by Al H (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 2:32pm

Come on guys, "Brian" Leftwich?:P

2
by Charles the Philly Homer (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 2:40pm

The Matt Millen autotext was gold.

Also, it's Byron Leftwich.

Another solid column. Thanks for giving the Eagles the sloppy manlove they deserve.

3
by Nick (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 2:47pm

I cried with laughter so much my balls are wet.

Is Steve Urbaniak available with his towel?

4
by dryheat (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 2:48pm

Worth reading all the way through just to get to the Cardinals/Chargers preview. Well done.

5
by jonnyblazin (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 3:45pm

Since I think its reasonable to assume the Jets and Broncos, despite being average teams, will win at home against crappy teams, that means that Belichick will have to go up against his arch-nemesis Shanahan in the first round of the playoffs. I'm sure he'd rather play the Jets, who may have beaten him earlier in the year but are much less talented than the Broncos. I'd would think the Patriots would be playing to win, because its certainly possible that the Colts could lose to the fins.

6
by Kalyan (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 3:57pm

Reference to ALI was very funny!

7
by Kalyan (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 4:01pm

as i mentioned during last week's game discussion - i would much rather see the pats playing the jets rather than the broncos.

the ghosts of the defeats in the last 2 years (no less than 3 times incl. the playoff loss!) is still too fresh in my mind

on the contrary, pats would like to have broncos to even scores from last year's playoffs ....

either ways, it looks like the AFC playoffs will be a lot of fun ...

any predictions, anyone?

8
by Marko (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 4:13pm

Come on guys, part II: Anna "Kournika"?

Also, it's Week 17 Rundown, not Week 16.

9
by B (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 4:29pm

I want to know where Bridget Monyahan rates on the Winning-Pct to Female Companion table. I'm geussing between Jessica Simpson and Madonna circa Like a Virgin tour.

10
by pawnking (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 4:52pm

Tanier has passed Bill Simmons in the "Funniest Football Writer Online" (FFWO) competition. Easterbrook has fallen back to 297th.

11
by Charles the Philly Homer (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 4:55pm

#7:

Based on seedings as of today:

Colts beat Jets
Broncos beat Patriots

Chargers beat Colts
Broncos beat Ravens

Chargers beat Broncos

Chargers beat x in Super Bowl

12
by Scott de B. (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 5:03pm

The Broncos beat the Patriots with a rookie quarterback? Me no think so.

13
by MikeT (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 5:07pm

no wonder I can't get nay pictures of hot tennis players on the net. I can't spell their names right. Monayhan is a doll, but I probably would have spelled it Monagan or something.

14
by Tom Kelso (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 5:07pm

#11 --

Based on the seedings as of today, the Colts would play the Ravens in Baltimore if they win their first-round game.

The "can't play your own division until the title game" rule was dropped when they expanded the wild cards.

15
by Marko (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 5:08pm

#11: Based on current seedings, if the Colts beat the Jets, they would play the Ravens next, not the Chargers. The Chargers would play the Broncos-Patriots winner.

16
by Charles the Philly Homer (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 5:10pm

14:

Oh, bother. I always manage to forget one of the playoffs rules. I blame Don Cheadle.

Ravens beat Colts
Chargers beat Broncos

Ravens beat Chargers

Ravens beat X in Super Bowl

17
by Sergio (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 5:14pm

Ahem... guys?

Totally off topic, but I do NOT get the reference.

What's with the Accuscore comments on the Audibles article/thread?? And why do they all end with "what is accuscore?"

Pretty please, and thank you.

18
by Waverly (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 6:40pm

#1, #2, #8: Don't blame Tanier for the typos -- his autotext program just had a bit more than it could handle.

19
by Raj (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 8:29pm

#17, From espn: quote -
AccuScoreâ„¢ is a sports data and content provider specializing in providing forecasted sports statistics, tools and analysis to sports fans, online, print and broadcast media companies, and wireless service providers for both sports fans and fantasy players.

Our content includes Game Winner Forecasts, Projected Player Box Scores, Fantasy Forecasts, and Full Season Projections for the National Football League, National Basketball Association, NCAA Football, NCAA Basketball and Major League Baseball.
-unquote

link enclosed

20
by Kyle (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 8:37pm

I wonder if Alex Smith gets his balls buffed by the same people that Jeff Garcia did during his stay in San Francisco.

21
by kevinNYC (not verified) :: Wed, 12/27/2006 - 9:58pm

So now the games the Giants won were based on pure luck? Mike, that's a stupid thing to say. Let's not denigrate their earlier victories based on their recent losing streak. Heck, if the Giants were capable of scoring touchdowns instead of field goals inside the 10 yard line they would've beaten the great Eagle team you talk about just 2 weeks ago. Last week was WAY outside the norm compared to other games/losses.

All that said, it would be hard for even the most optimistic Giants fan to think they will win this weekend.

22
by Tally (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 12:40am

Re Best athletes by syllable:

Wayne Gretzky may soon have competition from Tiger Woods...

And Ladainian Tomlinson just edges out Takeru Kobayashi.

23
by Independent George (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 1:25am

I'm sorry, Mike; I'm normally a big fan, but I just can't agree with your picks this week.

Underwood over Simpson.

Simpson over the Catholic Match Girl.

24
by Matt Weiner (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 2:26am

Ten syllables: Edson Arantes do Nascimento. Just to avoid any irrational Pele-Babe Ruth arguments. (And where are all the Bradmanites from that other thread?)

25
by jebmak (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 7:19am

Wow, and I thought that Millen jokes were done. Seriously, I am laughing out loud in my hotel lobby at 5 AM.

Very funny.

26
by Englishbob (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 9:00am

RE 21
Yes that Giants win over Philly had nothing to do with luck did it?

27
by Grouchy Bills Fan (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 9:58am

The Babe is clearly ranked too high because I saw Pele play once and he blew a kiss at me. My childhood memory is way better than this. Go Lancers!

28
by SJM (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 3:20pm

So where does Tara Reid fit on the scale?

Also under consideration in the 3-syllable category: Bobby Orr, Larry Bird, Barry Bonds.

29
by kevinNYC (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 3:40pm

#26... And the Titans win over the Giants had nothing to do with luck? Heck, even in second Giants-Eagles game, the Eagles recovered two fumbles and caught a batted ball. EVERY team that wins gets a little lucky. More importantly they make plays to win the game. Eli did in that first game against Philly and VY did it against the Giants. Westbrook did in the second PHI-NY matchup. That's football.

30
by MG (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 6:11pm

Re: Giants luck. What win besides v. Eagles was close or lucky? Redskins, Falcons, Cowboys, Bucs were all 2 TD margins. Houston was close, but in retrospect that was the beginning of the downfall.

31
by Diane (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 6:23pm

I just keep picturing WKRP's Les Nessman reading the Niner's balls comment ...

(and I laugh .... and laugh)

32
by Independent George (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 6:30pm

Clearly, Tom Brady gets more out of his three syllables than Peyton Manning does with his four. Think of how many records he would be setting if he went by 'Thomas'!

33
by Mr Shush (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 8:03pm

#24 - Since you insist . . . Would you prefer to leave out Gretzky/Woods (if we're going with Don) or Jordan (Donald)? Or even Ali, if you fancy counting the honorific as a syllable (Sir Donald)?

34
by Mwana Uta (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 9:10pm

You know, I'm going to really miss this column in the offseason, it's pure comedy gold. We need to find something else for Tanier to preview on a weekly basis.

35
by Sophandros (not verified) :: Thu, 12/28/2006 - 10:32pm

27: Is that "Go Lancers" as in Windsor Lancers?

Anyway, I guess it's the same old Saints. It's the last game of the season and they've got nothing to play for.

Oh, wait...

36
by Ilanin (not verified) :: Fri, 12/29/2006 - 9:10am

33 - Bradman's level of superiority over everybody else who has ever played his sport is sufficient to justify leaving out anybody, but I hate baskteball so let's get rid of Jordan. Alternatively you can put Ayrton Senna in that spot. Pele versus Babe Ruth is too close to call, so I support the ten-syllable version. I've been trying to think of a suitable Brazillian footballer for one syllable, but they all seem to have two. Michael Schumacher and Juan Manuel Fangio are both reasonable challengers to Ali

Sixteen syllables: Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas

37
by michael (not verified) :: Sat, 12/30/2006 - 10:34am

i can't find any direct reference to millen in the article any more - was it edited out, and if so, can anyone reprint it here?