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11 Nov 2011

Week 10 N.F.L. Matchups

These matchups start with the suggestion that five years of hearing about the Patriots dynasty dying causes ear bleed, then later hints that Jay Cutler may go above and beyond to get the extra penalty. So yeah, I am expecting to get walloped.

Posted by: Mike Tanier on 11 Nov 2011

27 comments, Last at 13 Nov 2011, 9:04pm by Vicious Chicken of Bristol

Comments

1
by John (not verified) :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 8:47am

I can't believe "Suh summit" didn't become "Suhmit", or has that been beaten to death already? (I ignore NFL news coverage except for here.)

17
by Leibniz (not verified) :: Sat, 11/12/2011 - 11:20am

Suhmit is a Hindi name that means "good friend". A tad ironic, no?

2
by Chris UK :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 8:58am

"Texans blockers will dive to the ground to cut block only to find Haynesworth already there, curled up and fast asleep."

I will be sending you a bill for the repair of my laptop due to coffee damage.

3
by Alessandro (not verified) :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 9:37am

Pity that Tanier picked the Bears over Philly last week (even if it was just to cast a Simmons-esque reverse jinx). I was looking forward to watching the Bears pursue the coveted "0-16 in Tanier's Head" trophy. Really wanted us to get Andrew Luck In Tanier's Head as well.

4
by Kevin from Philly :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 12:28pm

I just had a strange vision while reading the column - Belachick singing "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds".

6
by RickD :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 12:53pm

Rocket Man!

http://youtu.be/lul-Y8vSr0I

So many things about this video: Karen Black's weird eyes, Bernie Taupin wearing 70s sunglasses inside at night, and Shatner himself is priceless.

5
by RickD :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 12:50pm

Just to clarify, when you say the Pats only have one CB worthy of starting in the NFL right now, you mean Arrington, right? I ask because, before the season started everybody would have assumed you meant McCourty.

7
by TomKelso :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 2:40pm

Last I saw, Baltimore, Pittsburgh and Washington were in the northeastern US, Mike; plenty of linebackers have been spotted in those environs. Perhaps we can arrange for a few of them to be resettled in Philadelphia to rebuild the breeding stock?

8
by Stats are for losers (not verified) :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 3:59pm

Pittsburgh is in the Midwest; Baltimore and Washington are in The South.

9
by tuluse :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 4:37pm

As an Illinoisan hearing that Pittsburgh is in the mid west offends all my sensibilities.

10
by Stats are for losers (not verified) :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 5:00pm

Well, you are in the Northwest!

11
by tuluse :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 5:06pm

Is this 1805?

25
by Shattenjager :: Sun, 11/13/2011 - 12:29pm

I've always been slightly offended by the entire area called the "midwest."
It's not in the west. It's in the east.

16
by BSK :: Sat, 11/12/2011 - 9:52am

Baltimore/Wash is the mid-Atlantic.

20
by MJK :: Sat, 11/12/2011 - 2:12pm

It depends on where you live. Any New Englander will say that Pittsburgh is in the midwest (the "Industrial Midwest", which goes from Buffalo to Chicago, not the "massive amounts of corn" midwest which generally lies further to the west), and that Baltimore and Washington are both "southern" (or at best, mid-atlantic). After all, they are south of the Mason Dixon line.

(I"m a New Englander, and I hold the above opinions, but it is worth noting that my wife, who is from California, and a good friend of mine from Philly both think I'm insane).

Of course, New Englanders also think Chicago is the dead center of the country.

27
by Vicious Chicken of Bristol (not verified) :: Sun, 11/13/2011 - 9:04pm

Please dont speak for all "New Englanders". I am from New England and I have never considered Pittsburgh part of the midwest. I have also never considered Baltimore southern.

12
by Vicious Chicken Of Bristol (not verified) :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 5:07pm

I also tire of hearing the "Is the Patriots dynasty over" mantra from the media. Clearly it has been dead and buried for some time now. Dynasties dont go 4 years between playoff wins (assuming they win one this year).

13
by chemical burn :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 6:07pm

Yeah, it's a little weird that they've haven't had their mystique damaged by not only that fact, but the fact that all three playoff losses were not just losses but total humiliations. If that shit happened to Norv or Andy Reid, all you would have read about for 4 years would be their embarrassing/amusing coaching incompetency and inability to win.

21
by MJK :: Sat, 11/12/2011 - 2:18pm

What three playoff losses are you referring to?

In 2007, they played in the SB, and lost on a freak last-minute play.

In 2008, they didn't make the playoffs, despite going 11-5.

In 2009, I'll grant, there was total humiliation. To be fair, it all happened in the first four minutes of the game, and the next 56 minutes were relatively competitive, but you can't spot someone a 21 point lead in the beginning of the first quarter and not be humiliated.

In 2010, they lost by a TD to a good team, but played a pretty good game. In fact, they outgained the Jets (yards, first downs, etc.) They were outplayed, but hardly humiliated.

Even if you consider the Jets loss a "humiliation", (a stretch), that's still only two...

26
by chemical burn :: Sun, 11/13/2011 - 1:23pm

Losing in the biggest superbowl upset of all-time is a humiliation. A 14-2 team failing to win even a single playoff game after getting punked in the media all week long by their rival is a humiliation. I know pats fans have 3 rings to ease their pain, but literally no other fan base in any sport (save maybe the yankees) wouldn't be choking on despair over those losses.

14
by TomC :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 6:45pm

I'm going to watch my DVR'ed copy of CHI/DET from week 5. If I see Cutler diving, I will come back on here and apologize. If not, I vow to destroy Tanier and all he represents. Or maybe just rage impotently a little longer.

15
by John (not verified) :: Fri, 11/11/2011 - 11:10pm

Let's see...war of words with Tanier? I'm thinking a land war in Asia instead, or you'd be safer going against a Sicilian with death on the line.

22
by LionInAZ (not verified) :: Sat, 11/12/2011 - 4:09pm

Gratuitous jabs at Jay Cutler rule!

18
by Blotzphoto :: Sat, 11/12/2011 - 11:24am

I know its early to contemplate playoff scenarios, but looking at the schedule for the second half the Bengals could easily lose all 4 of their games against Pitt/Bal and still finish 10-6, which might net a wild card spot in this topsy turvy year. So we could end up in the playoffs with a rookie qb, which is a wildly successful season by any stretch of the imagination.

Then we get ro go into next year with a young improving team with playoff experience, and a THIRD place schedule.

24
by Mr Shush :: Sun, 11/13/2011 - 10:09am

I think it's reasonable to assume that only AFC East and AFC North teams will be in the wild card running this year. The scenario you posit above presumably has the Steelers getting the #5 seed, leaving the Bengals duking it out with two of the Bills, Patriots and Jets for #6. Clearly if only one of those three makes it to 10 or more wins, the Bengals are home and dry; if the Bills are in second place at 10-6 they're also fine (head-to-head win). However, it seems likely to me that for the Patriots or Jets to finish with as few as 10 wins they would probably have to go 2-2 against the NFC East, which means they would be 8-4 in conference to the Bengals' presumptive 7-5 (3-1 against the NFC West).

In short, you should be rooting for one of the Jets and Patriots to suck.

19
by Raiderjoe :: Sat, 11/12/2011 - 11:25am

Pickd

Raiders 24-17
Bils 23-20
Ravdns 30-16
Falcs 27-25
Bucccs 22-17
Steelers 24-23
Jaghars 20-17
49ers 18-12
Eagsles 33-17
Dphins 27-13
Yitans 34-24
Brouncos 13-10
Ramms 24-14
Loins 23-13
Jets 24-17
Packers 41 - 10

23
by LionInAZ (not verified) :: Sat, 11/12/2011 - 4:14pm

Falcons 27-25? That breaks all the rules of predicting improbable scores. Unless the 25 was a typo...

Unfortunately, a 49ers-Giants game with all the scoring on 10 FGs is all too probable.

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