Innovative Statistics, Intelligent Analysis
Click here to buy PDF version.
Click here to buy PDF version
Like our page on Facebook and get Football Outsiders links directly in your Facebook feed.
Official Account: @fboutsiders
Scott Kacsmar: @FO_ScottKacsmar
Ben Muth: @FO_WordofMuth
Aaron Schatz: @FO_ASchatz
Vincent Verhei: @FO_VVerhei
-- plus --
Ian Boyd: @Ian_A_Boyd
Bill Connelly: @SBN_BillC
Cian Fahey: @Cianaf
Brian Fremeau: @bcfremeau
Tom Gower: @ThomasGower
Bryan Knowles: @BryKno
Rivers McCown: @RiversMcCown
Chad Peltier: @CGPeltier
Andrew Potter: @BigHairyAndy
Rob Weintraub: @robwein
Carl Yedor: @CarlYedor61
30 Dec 2011
Last full-size matchups of the year. Where does the time go? It seems like only yesterday I was watching lockout coverage.
Posted by: Mike Tanier on 30 Dec 2011
26 comments, Last at
01 Jan 2012, 4:48am by
That Chargers logo seems so small now.
"Physical therapists know that grip strength is now measured by the Garrett-Jones Handshake Firmness Rubric, which goes from 0 (the wealthy dowager is not at all pleased to see you) to an average score of 5 (eager realtor) to a maximum of 10 (your wife’s jealous ex-boyfriend at the high school reunion)."
Great line, Mike. Especially the "wealthy dowager" imagery.
Indeed. For me, it conjured up the Simpsons moment when Mr. Burns (having forced himself onto Homer's bowling team) puts his hand above the air dryer in the ball return carousel, and his fingers ripple in the breeze.
"Oops, lost one. Well, that's leprosy for you."
Displeased wealthy dowager FTW!
The 5.0 should be Adrian Peterson's handshake, however.
My first reaction was "Why is the handshake scale named for the Pirates' first baseman?" The hyphen set me straight.
I'm afraid to ask where Jim Harbaugh ranks on this scale --
cheifs 21, Broncos 12
Raiders 41, Charferrs 21
Yes. Is that a typo, or do you really think that "cheifs" is spelled that way?
Yeah that was a RJ typo. It's spelled "chefs".
Great googly moogly ... be nice to the newbies -- NY football fans are in a very foul mood these days...
Welcome to Football Outsiders!
Yes -- will the Raiders commit the 4 penalties they need to break the NFL season record? Seems like a shoo-in to me!
Chiegs spelled Chiefs. Was typo earlier. Raiders will gey penaltu record
If you're gonna make a penalty, make it full speed.
If the third alternate punter is needed, then the Secretary of Agriculture gets to be president
Which alternate punter is needed in order for the former Texas Commissioner of Agriculture to become president?
I've been wondering all season: are these picks straight up or against the spread? I don't gamble; I'm just curious.
These picks are always straight up.
The Packers will probably play Rodgers about a quarter and there's a good chance Graham Harrell will be QBing in the fourth. Matthews, Woodson, Starks, and (of course) Jennings will be inactive. There are also rumors Finley will sit. Raji will probably only play about half the snaps. If the Lions don't win by at least 14, I'll be shocked.
I can think of several team HQs that could benefit from a fire ant infestation.
Anfs in their pants mifht make the Ramms get movinv fsster. Boy foes that tram play like consgipated old people.
Only one coach (coordinator) is actually due to get fired in Chicago. Uncharitable souls might also look at the inability to develop anybody at the receiver position, but Drake seems unlikely to leave.
happy New Yeat to all and to all a good night. Not a cteature was stirring not even a drunk Bronco. All tbrough the house childrne weer dreaming. Sugar plums and chiegs wins dancced in their eyes. Or soketjing. Amgetting drunk over here in 2012
Happy New Year, Joe.
Everybody else, too, albeit with less Sierra Nevada.
© Football Outsiders, Inc. // Site powered by Stein-Wein // Partner of USA TODAY Sports Digital Properties