by Robert Weintraub

Early in the Fiesta Bowl, Stanford kick returner Ty Montgomery fielded a ball several yards deep in his end zone, and started to run out. His co-return man, senior Jeremy Stewart, prevented Montgomery from doing so by knocking the freshman returner on his backside while he remained in the painted area, and the Cards took a touchback.

Unfortunately, that was pretty much the best tackle of the 2011-12 bowl season.

After a schedule of seven-on-seven drills that passed for football games, I’m ready for a repeat of the November 5 slugfest between LSU and Alabama more than ever. There was harder hitting and better tackling on display in the Lingerie Bowl. Washington scored 56 points, with quarterback Keith Price accounting for seven touchdowns -- and lost to Baylor by 11. The offenses on display in the Rose and Fiesta Bowls turned decent defenses into swiss cheese. West Virginia hung a record 70 points on eleven cardboard cutouts wearing Clemson orange. West Virginia lost to Syracuse, for Pete’s sake!

And just wait for the GoDaddy.com Bowl Sunday night, featuring the unstoppable offenses and walk-on quality defenses of Northern Illinois and Arkansas State. The Mountaineers record, which ignited much couch-burning in Morgantown, is already in jeopardy.

There were other examples. Two supposedly outstanding defenses hooked up in the Outback Bowl: Georgia and Michigan State. Final score -- 33-30 (in triple overtime, but regulation ended 27-all). Toledo beat Air Force 42-41 in the Military Bowl (yes, an academy team lost the Military Bowl, I declare sacrilege) -- give the Rockets credit, though -- they did stop a two-point conversion to seal the game. Purdue was so unconfident in its ability to stop Western Michigan in the Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl that the Boilers onside kicked twice in the first half -- and would have done it a third time had WMU not changed an alignment at the last moment.

In all, only 11 of the 31 bowls played so far have seen both teams held to fewer than 30 points.

There are no shortage of culprits. First and foremost is probably the fact that few coaches put their teams through full padded practices in the postseason. The climate of player protection being what it is, coupled with offensive innovation and breathtaking athletes migrating toward the offensive side of the ball more often than ever, has left defenses in an atrocious state. Outside of Tuscaloosa and Baton Rouge, of course.

Washington probably feels the most violated, even moreso than Clemson, which checked out after a 99-yard fumble return turned a potential 24-21 lead into a 28-17 deficit. The Huskies shelled out $2.1 million over three years to defensive coordinator Nick Holt, making him one of the highest-paid assistant coaches in the nation. After Robert Griffin and running back Terrance Ganaway (21 carries for 200 yards and five touchdowns) left his unit in tatters, Holt and his staff were relieved of their duties. You-Dub faced both of the consensus top quarterbacks in the country, Griffin and Stanford’s Andrew Luck, this season. In both games, they surrendered over 400 yards rushing.

The Rajin’ Cajuns of Louisiana-Lafayette were likely to be taken apart by the potent San Diego State offense, but held off the Aztecs for a while thanks in part to an old-school method -- staging a good old-fashioned Oklahoma drill right on the Superdome turf before the New Orleans Bowl. Strength coach Rusty Whitt got involved as well, sans helmet, a decision that left him bleeding on the ULL sideline. Whitt left his forehead cracked open and the blood dripping down his face throughout the game, which had to have motivated his team -- hell, I was so fired up I put my head through the closet door of the St. Louis hotel room where I watched the game. In a breathless contest, the local favorites drove to a 50-yard field goal as time expired (it was a 55-yarder, but an "illegal spinning" penalty moved the ball up five critical yards), beating SDSU 32-30 in their first bowl game in the FBS. I’m a playoff believer, but you've got to love a team like ULL, generally picked as the absolute worst of the 120 FBS teams in the preseason, taking home a trophy at season’s end.

Along with shoddy defense, another leitmotif of the regular season was glaring errors in the kicking game, especially in the clutch. That trend carried over to the bowls, Brett Baer’s big kick for ULL notwithstanding (he missed a pair of extra points earlier, so don’t sing his praises too loudly).

Stanford’s unfortunate Jordan Williamson was the most visible failure, blowing what appeared to be Luck’s farewell gift to college football, a precision drive with no timeouts into chip shot range that would have given the Cardinal the Fiesta Bowl. Instead, Williamson yanked it, then missed another in the top of the first overtime. Oklahoma State appeared to score a touchdown for the miracle cover of -3.5, but replay decided Colton Chelf was a half-yard shy of paydirt. OSU then kneeled and kicked the winning field goal, which left me so bitter and angry you’d have thought I had actual cash on the game. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about how OK State is in play for a split national title should Alabama beat LSU. The Cowboys had no business beating Stanford, and they know it.

Virginia Tech is supposed to be the Sorbonne of special teams, but BeamerBall took an extended New Year’s holiday and missed the Sugar Bowl. After the top two Hokies’ kickers broke bad and were suspended for poor behavior, third-stringer Justin Myer blew an overtime kick of his own. That was after Tech roughed the punter, setting up a Michigan touchdown, fumbled away the ensuing kickoff, which became three more Michigan points, and gave the Wolverines three final points in regulation with a fake punt so horrendous that Patrick Chung may have called for it.

Michigan kicker Brandon Gibbons’ clearly false started on his game-winning kick in overtime, stutter-stepping to the ball like an Englishman approaching a penalty kick. But it wasn’t called, and the Wolverines won the "Neither Team Deserves To Be Here" Bowl.

At least Myer has an excuse -- he was planning on spending most of the game playing Angry Birds on the sideline, not actually kicking with the game on the line (and he did tie the game with a kick late in regulation). Georgia’s Blair Walsh was the preseason favorite for the Groza Award, but he missed two kicks in overtime (one was blocked) as UGA lost to Sparty in the Outback Bowl. Moreover, they were Walsh’s 13th and 14th missed field goals of the season! When the supposed best kicker in the country can’t put them between the uprights, it’s time to brush up on your fourth-down playcalling.

Dawgs coach Mark Richt may be off the hot seat in Athens, but he gets heavy criticism from me for essentially playing for the 40-yarder in overtime after Georgia got an interception in the top of the first overtime. Um, Mark, your kicker has already missed a dozen field goals this season. How about inching a tad closer? Any relation between my anger at Richt and the fact that I picked UGA to cover -3.5 is purely coincidental, I assure you.

After all, I’m equally mad at the Bulldog defense and their poor tackling.

TOEDRAGS

• Also miffed by Richt and Walsh’s incompetence -- Bulldogs corner Brandon Boykin, who had a sensational game. He recorded a punt return touchdown, a receiving touchdown, and a safety on the game’s first play.
• The Baylor-Washington flag football contest was settled in a perfectly bizarre manner. After a late touchdown to go up by 11, Baylor kicked off. Upback Danny Shelton recovered, assumed by what he had witnessed all night that he could juke through the Baylor tacklers despite weighing 334 pounds, and fumbled fighting for extra yardage. Baylor recovered and ran out the clock.
• South Carolina blitzed Nebraska in the Capital One Bowl, a game that was supposed to feature an individual battle between potential 2012 first-round selections: Gamecocks wideout Alshon Jeffrey and Nebraska cornerback Alfonzo Dennard. The two players got into fight over who should be picked first, uh, I mean, respect or something, and were both ejected. See you in Round Two, fellas.
• Ohio State ignored assistant coach Mike Vrabel’s impassioned sideline plea to "not go out like p---ies" against Florida in the Urban Meyer Gator Bowl, losing 24-17. Vrabel, at least, won’t be going out, like a kitty cat or otherwise, as Meyer is retaining him for his 2012 staff.
• UCLA’s loss in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl to Illinois left the Bruins at 6-8, redefining the meaning of the phrase "bowl eligible." In the game, star Illini pass rusher Whitney Mercilus broke the school record for sacks in a season with 16.5, leaving Simeon Rice in the distance.
• The worst thing that could have happened to Florida State was beating Notre Dame in the Florida Citrus Bowl. Now the ‘Noles will doubtless get some preseason top five love again. The voters should consider the godawful throw into double coverage in the end zone by Irish quarterback Tommy Rees that iced the 18-14 win before voting FSU so high in 2012.
• Per a tweet by SI’s Stewart Mandel, the postgame press release called the TicketCity Bowl (a lifeless 30-14 drubbing of the Penn State Scarlet Letters by Houston) an "instant classic."
• Remember Tom Williams, the head coach of Yale who called the worst fake punt in recorded history in The Game against Harvard two years ago? I wrote about it then. Well, he was fired as bowl season got underway, not for horrendous coaching, but for pretending he had gone through the same gut-wrenching decision his quarterback Patrick Witt did, by having to decide between a Rhodes Scholarship interview or the Harvard game. The New York Times investigated, called BS, and Yale responded by canning Williams. A bit flimsy for a sackable offense, but when you go 0-3 against your biggest rival, as Williams did against the Crimson, heads will roll.
• Oregon’s Rose Bowl win over Wisconsin was its first since 1917. The play of the game, heaven forbid, turned out to be a defensive one. A long pass to Jared Abbrederis seemed to put the Badgers in position for a late go-ahead score, but he was stripped along the sideline by Oregon’s Terrance Mitchell. The ball lay free on the turf for an eternity, Ducks coach Chip Kelly screaming and pointing at the ball and resisting the urge to go all Tommy Lewis and jump on it himself. At last, Michael Clay fell on it for the Ducks, and they went on to win.
• NC State sophomore David Amerson had a superb season at cornerback in near-total obscurity. He saved his ACC-record 13th interception for late in the Belk Bowl as the Pack edged Louisville 31-24 in a game marked by curious coaching decisions. Amerson’s 12th pick came earlier; he returned it for a touchdown.
• My sincerest apologies to Jordan Rodgers. I clearly jinxed the Vanderbilt QB by writing this profile of him and his slightly-better-known older brother. Rodgers was pulled from the Liberty Bowl in favor of Larry Smith, who Rodgers had replaced in midseason. Neither could prevent a 31-24 loss to Cincinnati.
• My favorite and least favorite moment of the bowl season came in the same game: the Insight Bowl between Iowa and Oklahoma. I had the Hawkeyes and 14 points, so I was clinging to a 24-14 Sooner lead in the final seconds. All OU had to do was take a knee, and it was over, but no -- Iowa kept calling the most futile of all timeouts! So on fourth down, the BellDozer, Blake Bell, ran in a meaningless touchdown in the final seconds, and the Sooners covered. So glad I stayed up until nearly 1 a.m. for that.
• On the other hand, it was worth it, as I got to see an ESPN cablecam (the one that dangles 20 yards or so over the field, suspended by wires) crash down on to the field, nearly decapitating Iowa receiver Marvin McNutt. The horrific ending was delayed by around five minutes as the shamefaced camera techs ran out to clean up the mess. If there was ever a more perfect metaphor for what television, ESPN in particular, has done to college football, I can’t think of one.
• Matt Millen, game analyst, helpfully put the surreal scene in context for the under-40 viewers. "It crashed down like a Soviet satellite!" yelped the stuck-in-the-Reagan-era Millen
• By the way, Millen said during the Fiesta Bowl that he would draft Andrew Luck first overall, "no doubt about it." Indianapolis, you may want to seriously reconsider drafting the Stanford quarterback.

Posted by: Robert Weintraub on 06 Jan 2012

34 comments, Last at 27 Mar 2013, 5:57am by pawello