By Robert Weintraub
Which is more potent, swine flu or Buckeye hangover? I suppose the latter, since Florida managed to stagger to victory despite dressing several key players in dire need of some chicken soup and Purell. Southern California was not so fortunate, falling to a Pac-10 weak link for what feels like the 20th consecutive season. Despite warnings from wise souls like coach Pete Carroll and OFI commenter "Tom Malone," the Trojans fell to earth after a big win against Ohio State. This time, Washington -- a team that until last week had lost fifteen straight -- was the culprit. Given that the Husky sideline sports enough former Trojan coaches to open a Pacific Northwest Heritage Hall, the 16-13 You Dub win is the very embodiment of the non-shocking shocker.
The short winning field goal by Erik Folk means USC will need help to reach the BCS title game and confirms my suspicions, formed watching last week’s game from Columbus, that these Men of Troy are a far cry from recent squads. That holds true with or without star frosh Matt Barkley at the helm. His replacement, Aaron Corp, had the secret, naughty prayer from the depths of his black heart answered, and got to step in for the injured Barkley. And he was awful. But Southern Cal has tough trips to Strawberry Valley, South Bend, and Eugene ahead, and weren’t likely to get their weaknesses ironed out in time to win them all anyway, regardless of who was barking signals.
When assessing his defense earlier this week, Nick Holt -- one-time Trojans defensive coordinator now manning the DC gig for the purple and gold -- admitted "there are deficiencies with personnel." Green replacement quarterback or not, his guys stuffed a squad full of elite players on the line, on the flanks, and in the backfield. Senior linebacker Donald Butler was the star, making a dozen tackles, forcing a fumble, picking off a pass, and presenting an Emmy Award. Actually, few people in Hollywood want to see any more of Butler -- or Corp, for that matter.
Another former Trojan assistant found himself actively encouraging the soft bigotry of low expectations this week. Indeed, Lane Kiffin game planned around the concept that simply not getting crushed by Florida was a victory in itself. While accused of many vile perpetrations, no one has yet called Kiffin "Typhoid Lane," so we’ll assume he didn’t recruit a Vol undergrad to get injected with flu virus and walk around Gainesville for a few days (frequenting the weight room and nightclubs) hoping to infect the Gators.
The Vols just played very tough defense, ran it well enough to kill some clock, and forced a slightly off Gators squad into enough missteps to lose respectably, disappointing all who wanted Urban Meyer to embarrass the coach who cannonballed into the SEC pool earlier this year. It didn’t happen, but the Volunteer Navy is sobered by one fact: Their quarterback is still Jonathan Crompton -- 93 yards passing and two picks can spoil any quasi-feel good moment. The good news is, Crompton is a senior and can’t do any damage past 2009. The bad news is, there isn’t much in the replacement cabinet. Perhaps star recruit Jesse Scroggins will change his mind and shun USC for Knoxville. If only Kiffin can convince him that losing by less than expected is somehow better than losing when favored to win...
Meanwhile, did I miss the day in the offseason when safeties were deemed ineligible to play on Saturdays? Everywhere I turned -- Boise State-Fresno State, Georgia-Arkansas, Auburn-West Virginia, to name three -- there were guys running over vast stretches of grass with nary a safety in sight. Yes, the spread of the spread makes it tough on the last line of defense. But "my goodness!" (to quote a play-by-play guy in one of the aforementioned games here), the tackling was shoddy and the positioning atrocious. Even the great safeties were off. USC’s Taylor Mays was hurt and missed the Washington upset, while Tennessee’s Eric Berry was flattened by a quarterback. Although, said quarterback was Tim Tebow [1], who is to passers what Wilt Chamberlain was to volleyball.
Boise-Fresno, the Battle for the Milk Can, was particularly absurd -- or entertaining, depending on how much you liked that old Mattel electronic handheld football game where you maneuvered your dot past three other dots. (When I ponder what today’s kid has on offer to waste away a rainy afternoon compared to when I was a wee lad, I weep.) This 51-34, 987-yard Mike Martz wet dream featured about a bakers dozen worth of long plays. The biggest and best came when Broncos wideout Titus Young (named for Titus Andronicus?) chased down a fumble in the end zone after teammate Jeremy Avery was stripped at the tail end of a 75-yard run. Avery and fellow junior tailback DJ Harper combined for 23 carries and 293 yards, thus raising the question -- does anyone miss Ian Johnson except romantics who enjoyed his proposal on national TV?
Notre Dame disappointed a nation of Jews avoiding Rosh Hashanah services by slipping past Michigan State. Kirk Cousins was the afternoon’s Haman: The Spartan quarterback threw a horrendous pass off his back foot that was picked off near the goal line in the dying seconds of the 33-30 loss, one play after overthrowing a wide open receiver in the Irish end zone. Charlie Weis thus wriggles off the hot seat he would have been broiling on were Notre Dame 1-2. It wasn’t totally a happy new year for the Damers. Receiver Michael Floyd’s injury makes a dynamic Irish offense much more defendable. Last season, Floyd missed the Syracuse and USC games, both losses, and ND’s passing and total yards dropped by about a third. Golden Tate is good, but he’s not the elite talent Floyd is, especially in the air.
Speaking of religion, a few Mormons may have uttered their first-ever swear words after watching BYU get drilled by Florida State. You know, the teahm last seen nearly losing to Jacksonville State? I haven’t seen anything in Utah that shocking since Nikki pushed Roman down the stairs in "Big Love." Seminoles freshman defensive back Greg Reid is officially lightening fast, and the Cougars played like they were thinking about that BCS bowl in January, rather than letting loose on a talented but inconsistent FSU bunch. Bronco Mendenhall, BYU coach, now cedes the mid-major BCS inside track to the Broncos of Boise State. Wild horses can’t drag me away from the TV when Boise plays, but I’m not sure their schedule will allow them to slip into the Big Boy Money Grab again this season. Houston might be more fun, anyway -- provided the Cougars don’t emulate USC and slip up at Tulane or Central Florida or some other Conference USA snake pit.
1. Florida --
2. Alabama (+1)
3. Texas (+1)
4. Cal (+2)
5. Miami (+10)
6. Penn State (+1)
7. Ohio State (+1)
8. Ole Miss (+1)
9. Boise State (+1)
10. Virginia Tech (+2)
11. Oklahoma (+2)
12. USC (-10)
13. Houston (+1)
14.Cincinnati (+3)
15. Auburn (+7)
16. Michigan --
17. Notre Dame (+2)
18. LSU (+7)
19. TCU (+5)
20. Georgia (+4)
21. Oklahoma State --
22. BYU (-16)
23. Nebraska (-3)
24. Kansas (UN)
25. North Carolina (UN)
Lurking: Utah, Georgia Tech, Texas Tech, Clemson, South Carolina, West Virginia, Southern Miss, Middle Tennessee State
Links:
[1] http://www.footballoutsiders.com/player/24308/tim-tebow
[2] http://ad.doubleclick.net/jump/footballoutsiders.fsv/ros;sect=ros;fantasy=yes;game=no;tile=3;sz=300x250;ord=' random_number '?