This Week in Quotes: November 10, 2009

compiled by Rory Hickey

IF WE IGNORE JOEY PORTER WILL HE JUST GO AWAY?

"It just goes back, back when I was in Pittsburgh, just never really too much cared for New England, and I really still don't care for New England. And the hate's been there for a while, especially after all the cheating they did back in the day. I cannot honestly say that I agreed with it, but it happened, and it's over with now. So the hate comes from way back then. They can sweep it under the rug if they want to, but just like anybody else that do something [and are] caught by cheating, you put an asterisk by it."

-- Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter discussing his hatred of the New England Patriots. For someone who made one all-pro team seven years ago, he really talks infinitely more than he should. (The Huddle [1])

"No question. When a guy can tell a ref when to throw a flag, and he gets it -- stuff like that -- I mean, he's got his own rules. I mean, they made the whole 'don't go at the legs' because of Tom, you know, so whenever he feels that somebody's coming at his legs, he just points at the ref, and he gets the flag. You've got to honestly say he's got his own rules."

-- Porter when asked if Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has his own set of rules

IT WAS UNCLEAR WHETHER THE CHANT WAS DIRECTED AT PORTER OR THE BABY KANGAROO ON THE FIELD

"JOOOOOEY! JOOOOOOEY!"

-- Chant by the crowd at Gillette Stadium (including yours truly) during the final minutes of the Patriots victory over the Dolphins after Porter recorded no tackles or sacks during the game

JOEY PORTER THINKS GETTING MOTIVATION FROM HIS COMMENTS IS CHEATING

"I think he was very motivating for our team throughout the course of the week and into the game. When you hear that kind of stuff, guys take it to heart, coaches take it to heart."

-- Patriots quarterback Tom Brady on the team being motivated by Porter's comments (Boston Herald [2])

THE IMPACT OF THAT TOUCHDOWN WAS FELT FOR ... KILOMETERS

"I made sure I caught it first. A bunch of the guys were making fun of me because I took so long to see it in my hands."

-- Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin on his game-winning touchdown catch against the Eagles (Scout.com [3])

JERRY JONES DOESN'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE ENCOURAGED OR DISCOURAGED

"At halftime, we came in and he says, 'My fault on the running game'. And I said, 'No it isn't your fault.' He jumps back at me and said 'IT IS MY FAULT' I said, 'OK it's your fault.' But he said he would get it corrected. And sure enough they had 16 yards rushing in the second half, so it wasn't all his fault, he played some things different second half than he did in first half."

-- Cowboys coach Wade Phillips describing nose tackle Jay Ratliff's emotions during halftime of the Cowboys' eventual 20-16 win in Philadelphia. (True Blue [4])

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE

"I'll take an ugly win over a pretty loss every [expletive] time. I ain't trippin' at all, high standards or not. Hey, you've got high standards for the female you choose, too -- but sometimes, you know, you just end up making a choice."

-- Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne on the team's ugly victory over the Texans and another ugly scenario we've all encountered at one point or another (Yahoo! [5])

HE'S NOT REALLY A WILD DOG PERSON EITHER ... TOO SOON?

"I won't be a Wildcat guy. I can't. It's a different style of play. It's almost like a hit-or-miss type of thing. My position is quarterback. That's what I was born to do."

-- Eagles quarterback Michael Vick on his desire not to be solely a Wildcat player (Philadelphia Daily News [6])

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KICK THE HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION WHILE IT'S DOWN

"It was like a heavyweight fight, and they're not always pretty."

-- Chargers defensive lineman Jacques Cesaire (Fifth Down Blog [7])

HOUSH! THERE IT IS! HOUSH! THERE IT IS!

"It could be that we were playing Detroit."

-- Seahawks wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh on why the Seahawks weren't daunted by facing a 17-0 halftime deficit ... only the Lions could fail to cover as 10.5-point dogs when up by 17 at half. (Detroit Free-Press [8])

I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND CROWN THAT COMMENT

"I'd also like to compliment the Bears too because they played hard and they came back ... And the last thing I'll say is 'we didn't let 'em off the hook.'"

-- Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt closing his address to the media by doing his best Dennis Green impression (CSN Chicago [9])

"MURDERED BY JOHN RIGGINS" IS CURRENTLY AT 6-TO-1 ODDS IN THE DAN SNYDER DEATH POOL

"This is a bad guy that owns this team. I'll just tell you that upfront. Bad guy. And if the Commissioner is worried about potential new owners and saying some of these guys shouldn't apply, he might want to police his own inside guys ..."

-- Former Redskin great John Riggins telling us how he really feels about Redskins owner Dan Snyder (D.C. Sports Bog [10])

"Let me put it to you this way, Cris, this person's heart is dark."

-- Riggins emphasizing the Snyder wasn't just a bad owner, but a bad person. Did Snyder run over Riggins' dog or something?

AHH, PASSIVE AGGRESSION

"Dear Dan Snyder, We would like to thank you for completely destroying our football team. Happy Holidays!"

-- An ad in the Express newspaper by Duffy's Irish Pub (D.C. Sports Bog [11])

I MEAN THEIR LOGO IS A STAR SO YOU COULD SEE HOW THEY WOULD BE CONFUSED

"What Andy Reid and his program stand for is the opposite of what the Cowboys stand for. The Cowboys are a star system. It's all about building around individuals first and collecting talent, collecting great players. Andy has always been about building a team ... the Cowboys stand for everything that's wrong with the NFL."

-- Ravens coach John Harbaugh when asked why the Eagles have had so much more success than the Cowboys over the last ten years (NFL Nation [12])

IS THAT A HATE CRIME?

"I definitely stay in Atlanta in the offseason, so if Mike Smith want to see me, he can find me. Definitely can find me. Definitely can find me. That's some bullshit right there."

-- Redskins defensive back DeAngelo Hall commenting on a sideline skirmish between he and the entire Falcons sideline; more specifically, Falcons coach Mike Smith (CSN Washington [13])

INDEED THEY DID KISS THE BABY, INDEED THEY DID

"Beautiful game today, if Ed Reed [14] steal one of my footballs again I'm gonna call the police, damn thief, they kissed da baby still<--Pow!!"

-- Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco's thoughts on Sunday's victory against division-rival Baltimore (Twitter [15])

TO BE FAIR TO CHARLIE WEIS, SOMETIMES IT TAKES MORE THAN ONE YEAR TO IMPLEMENT AN ADJUSTMENT

"One thing that helped us, and I really hope this doesn't come across wrong, but I think the thing that helped us this year was last year, because we knew they'd line up the same way."

-- Navy coach Ken Niumatalolo on a key to Navy's upset victory over Notre Dame (South Bend Tribune [16])

GOING BY ALL THESE COMMENTS FROM DIFFERENT PLAYERS, RODNEY HARRISON REALLY NEEDS TO START TAKING SHOWERS

"Maybe it is a way for him to deflect attention away from himself because I think everybody who's been in this league for a long time knows that he may be the dirtiest guy that's ever played this game. I think somebody forgot to tell him that that long, wide, 3-foot white line on the sideline, we play inside those, and he spent a lot of his time playing outside of those. I don't have a lot of respect for that guy."

-- Titans center Kevin Mawae on NBC analyst Rodney Harrison calling Mawae a dirty player (The Tennessean [17])

"If Rodney Harrison wants to accuse somebody of being dirty, tell him to look at his 16 years of highlights. I guarantee he got fined more in one year than I have my entire career."

-- Mawae

HE KIND OF DID THAT BACKWARDS BUT WE GET THE POINT

"They've had a lot of fun at my expense. I've had some fun at their expense at times. It's the times like this where you beat them and they just keep talking. They just keep going and they just don't know when to be quiet. You know, I've said a lot of things about Jets fans in the past and I'm sure at heart they're good people, most of them are good people. The Giants fans are a different type of people, just put it that way. There's a little more class on the Giants side and some Jets fans take the 'cl' out of class."

-- Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor on New York Jets fans (The Huddle [19])

"To score a touchdown in New York against the Jets in the last time I'll be in the hellhole they call a stadium up there before they get rid of it and move to the new one, it was outstanding."

-- Taylor on scoring a touchdown against the Jets in the Meadowlands

AND YOU THOUGHT MMQB QUALIFIED AS "FAVRE PORN"

"I was standing behind him and I saw him kinda reach for it ... reach for his groin ... and ... you know ... hold it and ... rub it ... that's what I think I witnessed. It twinged a bit on him."

-- Vikings coach Brad Childress describing watching quarterback Brett Favre tend to his injured groin (Minneapolis Star-Tribune [20])

MIGHT WANT TO SHOOT FOR AN EASIER RECORD THERE CHRIS

"We really believe like we can ... like we started off 10-0 last year ... before we played Jacksonville, we sat down and was like, 'We really feel like we can go 10-0 in these last ten games. We still want to make the playoffs and we know it's going to be a very, very tough thing to do, but that's what records are for -- they're meant to be broken."

-- Titans running back Chris Johnson on the possibility of the Titans making the playoffs this year (NFL.com [21])

SO IF TED GINN IS JESUS THEN WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ANTHONY GONZALEZ?

"Wasn't that marvelous? You know, in the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers and garlands at the Good Lord and then on Friday, they picked him up, beat the shit out of him, crucified him, and in this league they give us seven days -- only gave him five."

-- Miami offensive coordinator Dan Henning on how Ted Ginn Jr.'s performance against the Jets compared to Jesus. (Sun-Sentinel [22])

"To me, there can be no better human story than what happened last week around here and what Teddy was able to come up with. You can take anything that happened in that game, that was the best feeling for me to see him come out of that. He had to be lower than whale defecation, and that's at the bottom of the ocean. You know what I mean?"

-- Henning giving another analogy and comparing Ginn to whale poop. Are we sure this guy implemented the Wildcat?

GO F*CK YOURSELF, SAN DIEGO

"What a bum. Come on. End this f*cking game. Pffft. Ugh. Let's go home already."

-- An unknown person in the production truck of the Richmond-Villanova game, after Richmond missed a potential game-winning field goal (The Delco Times [23])

FAREWELL PRESS CONFERENCE FOR FIRED COACH ... GENERALLY NOT A GOOD IDEA

"Help this football program ... or do away with it."

-- Recently fired Memphis Tigers head coach Tommy West on the state of the Memphis football program (Online Sports Guys [24])

COULDN'T HAVE MADE THAT A LITTLE RACIST FOR OLD TIMES SAKE?

"If you're home and the crowd goes crazy you know something good's happening. And if they go oohhhhhhhh, you know, they give you one of those sad ones. You know something, not good for your team has happened."

-- ABC announcer Bob Griese on the dynamics of crowd reactions (Awful Announcing [25])

THERE WAS A SUBSEQUENT MASS EVACUATION OF THE STADIUM DUE TO TERRIBLE ANALOGIES

"These turnovers are like a bug ... H1N1 here!"

-- Broadcaster Ron Thulin on the amount of turnovers during the Kansas-Kansas State game (Awful Announcing [25])

A SAD DAY FOR AMERICA

THERE WILL NOW BE A REWARD OF A FUNNY YOUTUBE VIDEO IF YOU SEND IN A QUOTE.
TO REDEEM YOUR FREE HILARIOUS VIDEO SEND A QUOTE TO: quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com LIMIT ONE PER E-MAILER.