The Week in Quotes: November 24, 2009

compiled by Rory Hickey

THE FALL FROM GENIUS TO BAD COACH ... FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY FOURTH-AND-TWO

"He's a little cocky ass."

-- Chargers linebacker Shaun Phillips on Broncos' coach Josh McDaniels saying "We own you" to Chargers linebackers before the game (San Diego Union-Tribune [1])

THE FIFTH STEP TO ACKNOWLEDGING YOU ARE A BAD TEAM IS ACCEPTANCE

"I've got a new sponsor. The Jets have Toyota and I've got Kleenex, for obvious reasons."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan, referencing his crying in a team meeting (NBC Sports [2])

"Sometimes you say things to your team and you don't realize that everybody will find out. But that's fine and dandy. If I don't fit the stereotype of coachspeak, so be it. I'm going to always be myself."

-- Ryan

MAYBE HE WAS SCARED OF YOUR GRAMMAR

"Scared. Yeah. I know he was. Y'all can quote it, too. Y'all can tell him right now, tell him I'm sayin' it. I can say it right now: Yeah, he was scared, I think. I told him he was scared."

-- Redskins safety LaRon Landry on why Cowboys wide receiver Roy Williams was held without a catch (Redskins.com [3])

THE REDSKINS ARE PETITIONING THE LEAGUE FOR THEIR RECORD TO BE THREE PLUS PRETTY MUCH AND SIX

"Other than a couple of plays, we pretty much beat them."

-- Redskins quarterback Jason Campbell on how his team played in its 7-6 loss to the Cowboys (NBC Sports [4])

GET YA DENTURES READY?

"Might show I'm washed up."

-- Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens after Jaguars receiver Mike Sims-Walker asked for, and received, Owens's jersey at midfield after Jacksonville beat Buffalo. (The Daily News Online [5])

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT PUTTING YOUR DOCTORS THROUGH THE COMBINE

"Matt's best play of the day might have been eluding four team doctors to get back on the field."

-- Lions coach Jim Schwartz on the game-winning play in which Matthew Stafford threw the game-winning touchdown pass after being injured on the previous play. Eric Mangini called a timeout to allow Stafford to come back on the field (NBC Sports [6])

REFERRING TO SOMEONE BY THEIR NUMBER ... BETTER OR WORSE THAN TALKING IN THIRD PERSON?

"Nine's a tough SOB. I know that for a fact. He took a pretty bad hit, came back in the game and finished the game -- hung in there with it."

-- Lions center Dominic Raiola on quarterback Matthew Stafford finishing the game after he injured his shoulder (The Detroit News [7])

WHAT DO ERIC MANGINI AND CHARLIE WEIS HAVE IN COMMON?

"There were multiple, multiple, multiple injuries throughout our no-huddle process."

-- Browns coach Eric Mangini on the possibility of the Lions faking injuries to slow the tempo of the vaunted Cleveland Browns offense. (Cleveland.com [8])

"I'm just saying there were a lot of them. Maybe all of those guys were legitimately injured."

-- Mangini, when pressed on whether he was accusing the Lions of cheating

AND SOMETIMES YOU JUST WILLINGLY THROW THE BALL INTO DOUBLE COVERAGE

"Sometimes you miss. Sometimes they have everything covered."

-- Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez on throwing four interceptions in the Jets' beat-down loss to the Patriots (Fifth Down Blog [9])

BELICHICK FOUND A RULE THAT SAYS YOU CAN ADD POINTS TO GAMES RETROACTIVELY

"We know the Patriots don't quit. They want to keep on adding points up on the board."

-- Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis on a play with thirty seconds left in the game, and the outcome well in hand, in which he was targeted on a pass to Randy Moss (NFL Nation [10])

ALL THREE OF THOSE EXAMPLES MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS

"You can call it a step backwards, say we turned a corner, we hit a U-turn, whatever you want to say. We just played terrible today. I didn't break a sweat probably 'til like five minutes left in the game

-- Seahawks wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh on the Seahawks terrible performance against the Vikings (HeraldNet [11])

MARK SANCHEZ KNOWS WHAT WOULD GO WELL WITH THAT SIDELINE BEVERAGE

"I had a lot of cappuccinos."

-- Vikings linebacker Chad Greenway reflecting on the amount of time that the Vikings' defense was on the field for (TwinCities.com [12])

SO NOW THE DEFENSIVE GUYS ARE GUNSLINGERS TOO?

"We were smiling and having fun out there. We're outlaws for life. It's the Williams-Allen Gang with the Outlaws! It's the Williams-Allen Gang. Everyone else is the Outlaws. Look at Billy the Kid. Do they name every member in Billy the Kid's gang? No, it's Billy the Kid. The rest are the gang."

-- Vikings defense tackle Pat Williams on the dynamic of the naming of the Vikings defense (TwinCities.com [12])

SEAHAWKS FANS HAVE BEEN SAYING THE SAME THING TO MORA

"I saw Brett after the game and said, 'Would you retire, please?' He said 'You've been saying that to me for about eight years.'"

-- Seahawks coach Jim Mora on his conversation with Vikings quarterback Brett Favre after the Vikings' 35-9 victory over the Seahawks (The Huddle [13])

PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA

"I mean, he's been making Pro Bowls ever since. It put him on the map. Maybe Haynesworth needs to come knock me out."

-- Cowboys linebacker Bradie James on the incident in which Cowboys offensive lineman Andre Gurode was stomped on by Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth (NFL Nation [14])

THAT WOULD REQUIRE FANTASY FOOTBALL PLAYERS TO LEAVE THEIR PARENTS' BASEMENTS

"I'm going to have to, I have to make it up for myself too. You should tell those 10,000 that lost that if they come to the games, I will score next time. Fly down to Jacksonville and come to a game."

-- Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew on making it up to the people who lost their fantasy weeks because he took a knee instead of scoring a touchdown against the Jets while encouraging those same people to help fill the Jaguars' stadium (NFL Nation [15])

HE WAS ALSO ANSWERING THE QUESTION OF WHAT HIS FAVORITE KIRSTEN DUNST MOVIE IS

"It has to be, 'Bring it On.'"

-- Patriots cornerback Leigh Bodden on what the team's approach to Monday night's game against the 10-0 Saints will be (Boston Herald [16])

REPORTS FROM THE HOTEL SAY THERE WAS AN IMPLOSION

"So much for a good nights sleep..the alarm just went off in our teams hotel hahaha grown men walking around the hallway in their draws haha"

-- Jets tight end Dustin Keller on the fire alarm going off at the team's hotel at 1 a.m. prior to Sunday's game against the Patriots (Twitter [17])

ALTERNATIVE NAME FOR WILDCAT DURING CBS BROADCASTS: TEBOWCAT

Gary Danielson: "The question is, does LSU have confidence in Sheppard to pass out of the Wild Rebel formation?"
Verne Lundquist: "You meant to say Wild Tiger."
Gary Danielson: "I just call them all Wildcat, let everybody else sort it out."

-- CBS analysts Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson discussing the intricacies of naming the Wildcat formation (Awful Announcing [18])

FAINT-HEARTED PEOPLE MAKE A COLLECTIVE SIGH ... AND THEN PASS OUT

"This job is not for the faint of heart."

-- Chiefs coach Todd Haley after his team's overtime victory over the Steelers (Sporting News Today [20])

NOW I'M DONE

"To lose a person like that, there's no dollar amount on that. There is no dollar amount on losing a T-Sizzle because he's somebody when I need I can look to and say I need you right. To lose a man in a play that's not within the rules of the game, that hurts."

-- Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis on Browns quarterback Brady Quinn's fine for hitting Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs, aka T-Sizzle, low after he had just thrown an interception (Ravens.com [21])

NOBODY KNOWS GREAT ATHLETES QUITE LIKE A 360-POUND MAN

"I have mixed emotions about that. A great athlete? Yes. A football player? No. Yeah LeBron, I said it. It's a punishing game. I just don't think you can step off the basketball court after not going through this year in and year out and just play football. From that standpoint, I just don't think it's possible. You have to weather and condition your body to take this punishment."

-- Browns defensive tackle Shaun Rogers on LeBron James not being able to play in the NFL (ESPN [22])

THE NEW YORK KNICKS ARE CONSIDERING JOINING THE NFL TO APPEASE LEBRON

"I think he should come on down. I know he's pretty busy right now, but if he wants to give it a shot, the guy is gifted. He's competitive and tough. I'm sure whatever he applied himself to, he'd probably be good in baseball or soccer or swimming."

-- Browns coach Eric Mangini on the possibility of LeBron James playing for the Cleveland Browns (ESPN [22])

HAVE YOU TIMED HIM?

"Everyone trust me Lebron James could not play in the NFL! ESPN is crazy to even think he could even make a practice squad. He's a 4.9 40 time"

-- Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey(Twitter [23])

WOULDN'T IT BE MORE LIKE A GOLFER CHANGING THE GRIP ON HIS CLUBS?

"Changing holders can be a little hectic. It's like a golfer changing the type of clubs he uses. It's just a different feel."

-- Oregon kicker Morgan Flint on new holder Nate Costa and his great hold to secure the Ducks' victory and give them a chance at a Rose Bowl berth (Sporting News [24])

IN THIS STORY, THE CHILD IS NAMED "ROGER GOODELL"

"child wait till you see what I do in Pittsburgh, remember I set aside fine fund before the season started, I'm just starting!!!"

-- Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco on whether or not he is done with his various shenanigans (Twitter [25])

NOBODY MORE CULTURALLY RELEVANT THAN STEVE URKEL?

"It's like watching Steve Urkel give Chuck Liddell a wedgie when he's not looking. It's chicken."

-- FOX analyst Michael Strahan on the disturbing trend of quarterbacks hitting defenders with dirty hits (The Huddle [26])

GIVEN THAT THEY'VE GIVEN UP FOUR RETURN TOUCHDOWNS IN THE LAST FIVE GAMES, MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE A LITTLE MORE FLEXIBLE

"They don't let me play special teams any more. There's a rule, you have to have a spleen and a gall bladder, at least one, to be a part of special teams."

-- Steelers safety Ryan Clark on why the Steelers don't let him play special teams anymore (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette [27])

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