The Week in Quotes: January 5, 2010

compiled by Rory Hickey

WITH HIS TWO DROPS ON SUNDAY IT LOOKS LIKE OCHOCINCO COULDN'T GRAB A BALL OUT OF A PAPER BAG

"Man, look here -- me and Revis is better than [Manny] Pacquiao and [Floyd] Mayweather. Period, case closed. I don't care what anybody is doing Sunday night; if you don't tune into the game Sunday, you have no life -- you have no life. You [have] never seen a matchup like this ever before, from my understanding. My friend Darrelle Masterlock -- I call him Masterlock -- Darrelle Revis [1] couldn't cover me in a brown paper bag on the corner of Manhattan Street inside a phone booth. It's impossible."

-- Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, prior to Sunday night's matchup with the Jets and cornerback Darrelle Revis. Ochocinco finished with as many catches as I did. (The Huddle [2])

BELICHICK USUALLY DOESN'T SLIGHT ANYONE THIS MUCH UNLESS IT'S BARELY SHAKING COACHES' HANDS

"There's so much stuff out there that is so inaccurate that it's comical. Who's been wrong more than Charley Casserly since he left the Redskins? His percentage is like a meteorologist. He has no relationship to this team. I'd say less than zero. He's never at a practice, never at a game. At least he put his name on it. I'll put my name on it, too. He's 100-percent wrong."

-- Patriots coach Bill Belichick on a CBS report by Charlie Casserly saying that quarterback Tom Brady has been playing with three broken ribs. (Boston Globe [3])

BUD ADAMS DIALS NUMBERS ON THE PHONE USING ONLY HIS MIDDLE FINGERS

"My agent and upstairs, that's something they've got to take care of. ... I need to get Bud Adams' number or something like that."

-- Titans running back Chris Johnson on the possibility of getting a new contract after he completed the season with 2,006 rushing yards, making him the sixth player to run for at least 2,000 yards in a season. (NFL Nation [4])

THE RISK THAT YOU COULD ACTUALLY HAVE MOMENTUM GOING INTO THE PLAYOFFS?

"Would I have loved it if we came out here and scored 41 today? I mean, yeah. But is it worth the risk?"

-- Saints quarterback Drew Brees on sitting out Sunday's game against the Carolina Panthers after clinching home field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs. (Sun Herald [5])

JIM MORA WOULD ONLY SIGN USAIN BOLT TO THE PRACTICE SQUAD

"Well, we brought Usain Bolt in. We signed him to our practice squad."

-- Seahawks coach Jim Mora on how his team was game planning to stop Titans running back Chris Johnson's speed. (The Tennessean [6])

I FEEL LIKE TED GINN RUINED THIS RACE SOMEHOW

"Usain doesn't follow the NFL too closely and is not really familiar with all of the players. He likes [international] football and cricket. But more importantly, he has a schedule and a coach to follow and there is no chance that we would set up this type of event."

-- Usain Bolt's agent Ricky Simms shooting down the rumors of a possible race with Titans running back Chris Johnson. Just so we're clear, Bolt would obliterate him. (Universal Sports [7])

SOMETHING CERTAINLY HAPPENED IN DENVER, AND IT RHYMES WITH JOKE

"It was embarrassing. They wanted it more than we wanted it, and it showed up on the field. Kansas City, yeah, they're competitive, but there's no way you're telling me that we should have, in this game, against this team, lost 44-24."

-- Broncos defensive end Vonnie Holliday on the team's effort against the Chiefs. Denver's loss eliminated them from the playoffs. (Denver Post [8])

IS THAT A GOOD THING?

"Got smashed by them cowboys 2daaaaaay sheeeeesh its all good we gonna sting they ass next week lil buddy."

-- Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson after Sunday's loss to the Cowboys and his prediction for their rematch in the playoffs on Saturday night. (Pro Football Talk [9])

ARE YOU READY FOR THIRDS?

"You've got to get some humble pie, you know? It's kind of weird. It's something that didn't happen all year."

-- Eagles wide receiver Jason Avant after the Eagles' 24-0 loss to the Cowboys. (Delaware Online [10])

BUT THEY WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS BEFORE!

"I don't think coach ever played in the NFL, so for my hamstring to be feeling the way it felt, it's tough for me to go out there and expect to play at a high level."

-- Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall speaking out about coach Josh McDaniels benching him for saying he wouldn't be able to play. (Denver Post [11])

PIZZA DELIVERY MEN ARE REBELS TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE

"Trying to deal with this bogus charge of DWP..driving with Pizza."

-- Saints defensive end Bobby McCray, addressing his DUI arrest on the morning of December 29 by disputing the charge. McCray later took the comments off of his Twitter. (Sports by Brooks [12])

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LAID DOWN AGAINST THE BROWNS, RAIDERS AND CHIEFS. OH WAIT ...

"Cincinnati is probably going to go into New York and lay down for the Jets and not play them hard, just because they don't want to see Pittsburgh in it, because they know if we get into the playoffs, we're a dangerous team. All of them will lay down. No one wants to see Pittsburgh in it. That's just how it is. Like I said, everybody knows that we're a dangerous team once we get into the playoffs. No matter how we played throughout the whole year, once we get in the playoffs, Pittsburgh Steelers is a playoff team."

-- Steelers linebacker LaMarr Woodley on the Bengals and the Patriots not playing their starters because they didn't want to see the Steelers in the playoffs. (The Pittsburgh Channel [13])

"I can tell you this. We didn't lay down against the Steelers, so I think LaMarr Woodley [14] should worry about what concerns LaMarr Woodley [14] and the Steelers and not worry about this great franchise in the Bengals."

-- Bengals defensive tackle Tank Johnson on Woodley's comments (Bengals.com [15])

THAT'S THE THING ABOUT BEING OVERWEIGHT ... THE STRESS JUST BOUNCES OFF OF YOU

"I thought you were going to say overweight. I was thinking, 'Accurate, probably the whole staff.'"

-- Browns coach Eric Mangini responding to a reporters' question about whether he was stressed out by being overworked. (National Football Post [16])

SO IS ERIC MANGINI FUNNY ...?

"Dear guys, no bus rides to Hartford."

-- Mangini, when asked if he had any New Years' resolutions, referencing a ten-hour bus trip to Hartford that the Browns' rookies were forced to take to work at his weekend football camp, drawing complaints and criticism from around the league. (National Football Post [16])

BILL POLIAN IS LOBBYING THE RULES COMMITTEE TO CREATE A RULE AGAINST EX-PATRIOTS SPEAKING OUT AGAINST THE COLTS

"When you compare the ‘09 Colts to the '07 Patriots. I am going to say something that a lot of people are thinking but aren't saying: At least the '07 Patriots had the guts to go for it. That's what they did, that's what the Indianapolis Colts didn't do, and that's their problem."

-- ESPN analyst Tedy Bruschi's thoughts on the Colts resting their starters to end their run a perfect season. (ESPN Boston [17])

DOES ANYBODY KNOW IF THE JAGUARS REALLY HAVE FANS?

"No disrespect to the fans, but how many fans were here at the games? I don't know how to respond to that."

-- Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew, when asked about fans criticizing the team, after the Jaguars were in the driver's seat for a playoff berth only to lose their last four games. (Jacksonville.com [18])

CAN MIKE LEACH JUST BE THE GUY WHO WAS OBSESSED WITH PIRATES AGAIN?

"I can't even stand to watch you f*cking stumble around, giving a sh*tty f*cking effort like you've f*cking accomplished something."

-- Recently fired Texas Tech coach Mike Leach supposedly yelling at wide receiver Adam James during spring practice in video that surfaced on Friday. It was Leach's alleged treatment of James that led to him being dismissed. (College Football Talk [20])

OH MAN! BEST COMMENT '10

"Haven't we beaten them the last two years?"

-- Texas Longhorns quarterback Colt McCoy commenting on Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops being invited to Alabama's practice, presumably to give Nick Saban some tips on beating the Longhorns. (The Statesman [21])

THAT JOKE BLEW UP IN CHRIS MYERS' FACE LIKE ... YEAH

"[The Lions defensive line] broke through like they were at airport security in Amsterdam."

-- FOX announcer Chris Myers making an ill-conceived attempt at an analogy after the Lions got good pressure on Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. (Detroit4Lyfe.com [22])

I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT

"That's a lot of head-between-your-legs action!"

-- CBS analyst Dick Enberg on Chiefs center Casey Wiegmann's consecutive start record. (Twitter [23])

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