The Week in Quotes: February 2, 2010

compiled by Rory Hickey

EARLIER THIS POSTSEASON IT WAS DEUCE MCALLISTER BROUGHT ON FOR INSPIRATION, NOW IT'S JOHN RAMBO

"This guy's got a great clock in his head. The big thing is that he throws the ball so early that we're going to have to do a good job of finding ways to get to him and when we do get to him we're going to have to make sure he gets a couple 'remember me' shots when we get there."

"Here's the deal. When you put too much of that type of worry on a warrior's mind, he doesn't play all out. If it happens, it happens. And the only thing you'd like for me to say is that if it happens you hope he doesn't get back up and play again."

-- Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams on if he would talk to his defense about the potential for calls protecting Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. (Deadspin [1])

I WAS RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME!

"They were the better team. Their offense turned the ball over five times, the Viking offense. But still if he didn't make that stupid play at the end of the game they would have won the game."

-- Former Vikings quarterback Fran Tarkenton, once again giving a Brett Favre-related opinion. (Sports Radio Interviews [2])

WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE STILTS AT THAT POINT?

"The last two games you guys have seen me play, it wasn't really me. I was out there on one leg. It felt like being on a pogo stick. This week I'll have two pogo sticks instead of one."

-- Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey on the relative health of his legs. (NOLA.com [3])

HOW DARE YOU ANTAGONIZE THE DARK LORD ROGER GOODELL?!?

"Please either drop your present ridiculous position or sue me."

-- Louisiana senator David Vitter asking NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to concede that the phrase "Who Dat?" is in the public domain. (Examiner.com [4])

IMAGINE HOW MANY TOUCHDOWNS YOU WOULD HAVE CAUGHT IF YOU DIDN'T CALL YOUR QUARTERBACKS GAY

"I know hands-down I'd be close to Jerry Rice's records if I had been with quality quarterbacks like he had. He had Joe Montana and he finished with Steve Young. That wasn't a dropoff. Say I had been with a guy like Tom Brady, Peyton Manning [5] or Drew Brees all of my career. Are you kidding me?"

-- Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens further proclaiming his brilliance. (The Huddle [6])

WHAT'S THE PRO BOWL?

"It's different. It was like 7-on-7. Everybody came out here trying not to get hurt and give the fans a good show."

-- Redskins linebacker Brian Orakpo on the atmosphere of the Pro Bowl. The AFC won 41-34, but you knew that already. (ESPN [7])

NOW ALL WE NEED IS JIM CALDWELL'S OPINION ... IF ONLY HE WERE ALIVE

"It's stupid."

-- Colts president Bill Polian on the new Pro Bowl procedure which forced members of the Super Bowl teams who were supposed to play in the Pro Bowl to fly to Miami ahead of their teams even though they weren't playing in the game. (Pro Football Talk [8])

"I got to fly on a private plane with some of my best friends and teammates. We had Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on the flight. We got a private escort right into Miami, shook a few hands, did one interview and made $45,000. I can think of worse things to put yourself through."

-- Colts quarterback Peyton Manning on the horrors of flying ahead of the team for the Pro Bowl. (The Huddle [9])

BRAYLON EDWARDS IS AN NFL VETERAN AND HAS HEARD THIS LECTURE BEFORE

"I told our players to wear their Jets stuff and be proud of it. There's no reason we shouldn't be proud to be a New York Jet. This isn't the Same Old Jets, and any negative connotation that way is crazy. Like I said, punch somebody in the nose for it if that's the case. That's the way we feel because our football team is tough."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan on what he told his team to do during the offseason. (The Huddle [11])

AT LEAST THAT'S ONE CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE BILLS

"As much as everyone talked about how much experience the Bills had back then, they partied harder than any other team. That's all we heard about the entire week in L.A., the [Cowboys'] first Super Bowl. They were out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Couple guys got into altercations in the clubs, older, veteran guys with the Bills. Experience doesn't mean that much, it's all about leadership. There's a reason they lost four Super Bowls. They partied harder than any other team."

-- ESPN analyst Darren Woodson when asked about the experience advantage the Bills held over his Cowboys leading up to Super Bowl XXVII, which was won by the Cowboys. (Sports by Brooks [12])

ANYTHING THAT MAKES THE PRO BOWL INTERESTING WOULD NOT HAPPEN

"Yesterday was punting, today was kickoffs, tomorrow will be field goals. I don't know. We'll see what happens. It shouldn't be a problem. If they're going to let me do it, I'm going to do it early in the game before they get serious and they start to play for real."

-- Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, on potentially kicking for the AFC in the Pro Bowl. Sadly, he did not. (Yahoo! [13])

WILLIAM HUNG THINKS LARRY PLATT IS GETTING TOO MUCH ATTENTION

"I think the 'Pants on the Ground' guy is better than Coach Coyer."

-- Colts cornerback Kelvin Hayden on Colts 66-year-old defensive coordinator Larry Coyer's dancing skills (NFL Nation Blog [14])

TO BE FAIR HE WAS EXPLAINING HOW TO USE THE INTERNET TO AL DAVIS

"Very serious walkthrough ... Nnamdi Asomugha [15] talking on the cell while going through kick coverage drill."

-- The Boston Globe's Albert Breer reporting on Raiders cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha and the seriousness that is the Pro Bowl. (Twitter [16])

POOR CHOICE OF NATURAL DISASTER

"Well if it was me, I would hope a hurricane comes through."

-- Patriots cornerback Shawn Springs appearing on ESPN's First Take, on which team he would rather not face between the Saints and the Colts. (Sports by Brooks [17])

GIVE ME A HAND JOB AND I'LL GIVE YOU A COFFEE TABLE ... THAT'S CRAIGSLIST

"WILL TRADE; Left testicle for Super Bowl tickets"

-- Craigslist ad from a person who is very ballsy in his request for Super Bowl tickets. (Craigslist [18])

IF I AGREE WITH DON IMUS DOES THAT MAKE ME A RACIST?

"They're great, I saw them four times in concert last year. I did, I did! And I got to meet them, Joe and Kevin and Nick. These guys are going to be the biggest thing since the Beatles."

-- CBS analyst and Super Bowl announcer Jim Nantz professing his love for the Jonas Brothers. (Sports by Brooks [19])

Why are you questioning my manhood? Because I think the Jonas brothers are a great act? Why wouldn't I [go to a Jonas brothers concert]? I recognize talent. ... By the fourth time I knew all the lyrics to their songs, they're great."

-- Nantz, responding to host Don Imus' comment that the Jonas Brothers are terrible.

JAMES HARRISON DID THE SAME THING IN THE SUPER BOWL LAST YEAR

"I said, 'This is my only time to shine.' I only ran slow because I wanted to get some camera time. I could have gotten down there in a matter of seconds. I slowed up to get a little camera time for the people back at home."

-- Steelers linebacker LaMarr Woodley on purposely slowing down on an interception return during the Pro Bowl (the interception was called back due to a holding penalty). (NFL Fan House [20])

THE VIKINGS COULD HAVE THE STRANGEST LOCKER ROOM DYNAMIC IN THE LEAGUE

"Silver fox, everything but my backside loves you, but if you come back, I will let you slap my rear end every single day. In no way gay at all, but I will take that stinging pain and I will eat it every day."

-- Vikings defensive end Jared Allen pleading to quarterback Brett Favre not to retire. (Pro Football Talk [21])

I THINK PEYTON COULD HANDLE THE COACHING DUTIES FOR A COUPLE HOURS

"I might be slightly busy."

-- Colts coach Jim Caldwell on whether he would attend any of the Pacers' games this week, which include matches featuring Kobe Bryant and LeBron James. (Colts.com [22])

This Week in Quotes has purchased an ad during this year's Super Bowl. However due to budgetary issues and the enormous price of an ad, our ad will be less than a tenth of a second long. Look for it during the middle of the second quarter!
And send a quote to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com for next week's final The Week in Quotes of the season. (Note: To Be Immediately Followed by The Month in Quotes.)