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Did Jerick McKinnon prove against Buffalo that he can be a feature back for Minnesota? Plus the best passers, runners, and receivers of Week 7.

20 Aug 2009

Walkthrough: Who Ah You?

by Mike Tanier

Walkthrough is now a No-Favre Zone.

From this announcement on, Brett Favre will not be mentioned in Walkthrough until the end of the regular season.

This isn't snark or spite, it's a customer service. Most Walkthrough readers are sick of Favre. There's little more to say about him, but hundreds of commentators across the Internet, television, and radio are saying it. The football world needs a safe harbor. This is it.

There's no reason to dwell on one player when we can talk about:

Coaches Gone Wild: Raiders coaches now maintain the chain-of-command through the threat of violence, gorilla-colony style. At this rate of devolution, they'll be rutting in the parking lot by October. If it turns out that Tom Cable bashed Randy Hanson's face with an overhead projector, then this is the most amazing story in NFL history.

Meanwhile, Rex Ryan took a shot at the Ravens last week for issuing Michael McCrary's old uniform number to Paul Kruger, "some rookie who hasn't proven s**t." After making the comment, Ryan took a flamethrower to Vernon Gholston's No. 50 jersey and sent the ashes to Bob Crable. For the record, Kruger has already survived a near-fatal stabbing and an off-road auto accident. He's not a hard-knocks graduate like Ryan, who used his dad's connections to get assistant coaching gigs and inherited one of the greatest defenses in history.

Kicker Controversies: Brandon Coutu handled all of the kicking chores for the Seahawks on Saturday. He made two 38-yard field goals and had kickoffs of 66, 69, 58, 70, and 63 yards. Not bad, though not enough to send Olindo Mare packing. The Coutu-Mare battle: sounds like an obscure Central African imperial skirmish immortalized in a Warren Zevon song. Seahawks general manager Tim Ruskell swears his team won't carry two kickers and no wide receivers this year. "We're thinking about three this year," Ruskell joked about his kicker fetish.

Maybe Sean Payton, who treats kickers like Q-Tips, can send him a spare. Garrett Hartley, perfect on field goals last season, shanked a 20-yard field goal against the Bengals, then learned that he shanked a drug test for Adderall. John Carney, who was Hartley's age when Hartley was born, will start the season as the Saints kicker. Hartley has all the job security of a typical Saints kicker (none), but there's always long-haul trucking.

The Broncos: Shinebox McDaniels, angry that Tom Cable beat him to chair-flipping related headlines, did his best to spin Kyle Orton's three-interception cannonball in the preseason opener. "He also did plenty of good things on Friday night and ran the team effectively in a lot of ways." Yeah, that nine-yard pass to Brandon Stokley made everyone forget Jay Cutler. McDaniels is still ignoring/infuriating/shopping Brandon Marshall, Knowshon Moreno is hurt, and Chris Simms is wearing his invisibility jersey. If Eddie Royal gets hurt, Tom Brandstater gets the cover of the media guide.

Jason David and Josh Bullocks get released: The NFL passer efficiency rating just went down four points.

The No-Favre Zone won't affect regular season game previews, because my game previews won't appear in Walkthrough this year. More on that in a week or two. And if the Vikings make the playoffs, the ban will be lifted so I don't have to be too cute about coverage. But for now, it means the usual Walkthrough content -- play diagrams, gags, offbeat features -- will be blissfully Favreless for 19 glorious weeks.

Enjoy the vacation. I know I will.

Super Unknowns

In preseason fantasy football, David Clowney is a No. 1 wide receiver.

Clowney, a backup for the Jets, caught three passes for 102 yards and a touchdown last weekend. He led the AFC in receiving in the 2008 preseason: eight catches, 222 yards, two touchdowns.

Malcom Floyd of the Chargers would be another great preseason fantasy receiver. He caught six passes with a touchdown in 2006, 10 passes for 133 yards and a touchdown in 2007, and 12 passes for 137 yards last year. He caught a 37-yard pass against the Seahawks last week. Some guys own August.

After one week of preseason action, August heroes start to make news. There's Julius Edelman, the latest Patriots buzz player; Brit Miller, who scored two touchdowns for the Niners; Aaron Brown of the Lions, who flipped in the end zone after one of his two touchdowns. You only have a vague idea who these guys are. I only have a vague idea who these guys are. Some will make contributions in 2009. Some are destined for Clowney-Floyd status as valued backups and perennial preseason understudies. Some will be cut in two weeks. It's hard to tell who's who.

Let's take some time to lean more about last week's newsmakers. If one or two of them blossom into stars, we'll be ahead of the curve:

C.J. Ah You, Defensive End, Rams

In a nutshell: A seventh-round draft pick by the Bills in 2007, Ah You spent the 2008 season on the Rams practice squad. He played well against the Jets last week, with a tackle for a loss and a near fumble recovery. He also has an awesome name.

Also Known For: Punching his teammate, BYU quarterback Brett Engemann, in the face during Engemann's Pro Day. Agents now advise prospects to not invite anyone to Pro Day who wants to punch them in the face.

He'll Make the Team Because: He's a high-effort, high-intensity defender having his second straight strong preseason. At 275 pounds, he could fit as a tweener who moves inside on passing downs in Steve Spagnuolo's defense.

He Won't Make the Team Because: He's an old prospect at 27. The Rams are deep and experienced at defensive end with Chris Long, Leonard Little, Victor Adeyanju, and James Hall, so Ah You must really make his presence felt.

Bold Forecast: A wave lineman for a few years, then Raiders head coach.

Shane Andrus, Kicker, Colts

In a Nutshell: The Colts' on-and-off preseason and practice squad kicker since 2006. Andrus handled all of the team's August kicking chores in 2006 and 2007, and he provided the only scoring in Friday's 13-3 loss to the Vikings with a 42-yard field goal.

Also Known For: Rounding out the Giants practice squad during their 2007 Super Bowl run (the Colts briefly released him); hitting five straight home runs to tie a national record in high school baseball.

He'll Make the Team Because: Adam Vinatieri had knee and hip surgery in the offseason and has barely practiced. Andrus has been a consistent camp leg for years, and the Colts know what he can do.

He Won't Make the Team Because: Vinatieri will be the Colts kicker as long as he can swing his leg. Andrus missed a 54-yarder against the Vikings and hasn't kicked in a real-life football game since his days at Murray State.

Bold Prediction: The Jim Sorgi of kickers. We'll see him again in August of 2010.

Aaron Brown, Running Back, Lions

In a Nutshell: The Lions' sixth-round pick from Texas Christian: An incredibly quick, oft-injured change-up back who scored two touchdowns in the preseason opener.

Also Known For: Getting suspended in high school for something called The Graffiti Incident, which sounds like a Led Zeppelin/Guns N' Roses cover band. Brown described what he did as "stupid stuff ... just to intimidate the incoming freshmen." His plans were thwarted when Mitch Kramer devised a scheme to dump paint on him outside The Emporium.

He'll Make the Team because: Brown has track-star speed and great elusiveness. The Lions need his playmaking ability.

He Won't Make the Team Because: Brown's college career is dotted with MCL injuries, ankle sprains, and suspensions. His end zone flip after a touchdown reception encapsulates the problem: great athlete, dubious judgment, 15-yard penalty.

Bold Prediction: Brown makes the Lions and plays a DeSean Jackson role, mixing great plays with dopey ones.

Julian Edelman, Quarterback/Reciever, Patriots

In a Nutshell: The Patriots' seventh-round pick, a former Kent State quarterback who caught five passes and returned a punt for a touchdown in the preseason opener against the Eagles.

Also Known For: Pre-draft visits with half the teams in the NFL. Federal law required sportswriters to use the word "Wildcat" within ten words of Edelman's name. Edelman passed for 1,820 yards and rushed for another 1,370 in 2008.

He'll Make the Team Because: He has been excellent in camp, has taken some reps as the third or fourth wideout, and can take punt return responsibilities from Wes Welker.

He Won't Make the Team Because: I dunno ... the Patriots could trade for Brandon Marshall or something.

Bold Prediction: He won't run much Wildcat, except with the scout team, but Edelman will return punts and catch some Welker-style screens. The Patriots have everything else: Do they need their own Josh Cribbs, too?

Ellis Lankster, Cornerback, Bills

In a Nutshell: The Bills' seventh-round pick, a 5-foot-9 cornerback who intercepted three passes and recorded 2.5 sacks at West Virginia in 2008. He picked off two passes in the fourth quarter against the Bears on Friday.

Also Known For: Stealing a laptop in 2007. Lankster and a teammate left a college party in 2007 with a Dell laptop. Police pulled them over a few minutes later outside a McDonald's. The teammate was the perp, but Lankster also earned a three-game suspension. Some guys see free wifi and get carried away.

He'll Make the Team Because: Dick Jauron likes his toughness, and several Bills defensive backs have gotten hurt in camp. Lankster also has experience as a return man.

He Won't Make the Team Because: Leodis McKelvin, Terrence McGee, Ashton Youboty, Drayton Florence, and a few others are ahead of him on the depth chart.

Bold Prediction: Lankston earns one of the final roster spots, then moves up the depth chart slowly as the Bills let their other cornerbacks leave as free agents.

Brit Miller, Fullback, 49ers

In a Nutshell: The University of Illinois' leading tackler last season, with 133 stops at middle linebacker. The Niners are converting him to fullback, and he caught two touchdown passes against the Broncos last week.

Also known for:Being deaf in his right ear since birth. "I look at your lips when I talk to you as opposed to your eyes," Miller said in an interview last year. "Sometimes people are freaked out thinking they have something in their teeth. If I'm trying to meet a girl or something, it's always interesting."

He'll Make the Team Because: Fullback/linebackers make great all-purpose special teamers. The Niners' other fullbacks, Zac Keasey and Moran Norris, are both hurt. The scouting reports said Miller lacked agility, but he looked pretty nifty avoiding Broncos tacklers on one of his touchdowns.

He Won't Make the Team Because: The Niners quickly signed rookie free agent Bill Rentmeester to replace Keasey, so Miller must keep battling.

Bold Prediction: Miller makes the team, unless Mike Singletary gets mad at him for not looking him in the eyes.

Preseason Quick Hitters

Eagles at Colts, Thursday Night, FOX: Peyton Manning and Donovan McNabb decide at the coin flip to cobble one good offensive line from the two rosters that both quarterbacks can play behind.

Titans at Cowboys, Friday Night, FOX: Jerry Jones is proud of his new stadium. At halftime, he'll exhume the corpse of Louis XIV and shout: "In your face, Sun King!"

Steelers at Redskins, Saturday Night, NFLN: The Redskins lost their preseason opener 23-0. No hurry installing that offense, Jim Zorn.

Broncos at Seahawks, Saturday Night, NFLN: Chris Simms throws three touchdown passes and saves a toddler drowning in Puget Sound. Kyle Orton is named Week 1 starter.

Jets at Ravens, Monday Night, ESPN: Rex Ryan's Pee-Wee Bounty Bowl.

Vick Rant

Squeaky Fromme was released from prison just hours after the Eagles signed Michael Vick last week.

It was a tough week to be Roman Polanski's dog.

The Eagles toyed with the idea of signing Fromme. She could join LeSean McCoy and Vick in a Squeaky, Shady, and Sleazy backfield.

Look, this is going to take time, OK? I know America is the Land of Second Chances -- that's going to replace E. Pluribus Unum on our money someday. I know Vick paid his debt to society, that Pope Dungy spoke ex cathedra about the sincerity of his contrition. It's time to forgive and forget, at least according to the ever-forgiving Eagles fans I've spoken to (the ones who still hold a grudge against Joe Kuharich). I'm just not ready for this.

The Eagles have always been like a deadbeat brother to me: a troublesome-but-beloved family member I'm tied to forever. This is just another bail bond in that relationship. Frankly, I'm more worried about the pot-smuggling, middle-finger-waggling, playbook-ignoring Vick than I am about the guy who killed dogs. He's not going to open any more kennels, but he could still check into a Samson Street massage parlor under an assumed name carrying a Wawa coffee mug with a secret compartment full of ganja. That's the guy I didn't want playing for my team long before I heard the bad news about the kennels.

I'm also worried about the Eagles new tight end, Donovan McNabb. That's right, McNabb is about to follow on the heels of L.J. Smith, meaning he will have to learn to drop his own passes. "I'll be a receiver. I might be a tight end," McNabb said of his role in Vick's Grateful Dog packages. "You never know where I'll be." Picture it now: Eagles versus Giants, November 1. The Eagles go Wildcat, with Vick at quarterback, Brian Westbrook at running back, McNabb at tight end with Osi Umenyiora over him. Umenyiora throws McNabb to the ground. Westbrook bravely tries to block him but pulls a variety of muscles. Vick runs in circles to escape, then gets driven headfirst into the turf. Three injured Eagles on one play, the franchise kaput, Jason Peters scratching his butt the whole time. Paranoid fantasy? Vision of the future?

And then, there's the dogfighting. You know a guy carries a lot of baggage when he's the subject of sentences like "and then, there's the dogfighting." Rosie, my own pit bull, has been acting nervous lately; we've had to cone her, and it's a pathetic sight. The Frisbee pooch on Wii Sports Resort doesn't whistle as happily as she did when I bought the game. My oldest son knows who Vick is; he saw him on the news two years ago, and I had to explain about the bad man who hurts dogs, the one daddy gets paid to write about. Now, I have to explain that he's on the Eagles. I want my children to watch football. But I don't want them exposed to anything that will give them the impression that they can force unwitting animals into violent confrontation, train them to become stronger and more aggressive, confine them to tight spaces...

(Wait a second, let me turn on a Pokemon cartoon to entertain them while I work. OK, where was I?)

Eagles owner Jeff Lurie promises that Vick will be "proactive" about animal abuse. "Proactive" means many things to many people and absolutely nothing to most. It probably involves writing checks, recording PSAs, and making some highly controlled public appearances. I think it means he must take his message of redemption to the people. There's an Animal Adoption Center Dog Walk in Camden County on October 4. It's the Eagles' bye week, and Vick will still be suspended, so he would have no trouble attending an event located about four miles from Lincoln Financial Field.

If Vick wants to help the healing process, if he wants to win over Eagles fans who are struggling to accept him, he should come to the dog walk. Pet some dogs. Pet my dog. Look a few hundred dog lovers in the eyes. Then, Eagles fans like me will be more ready to embrace him.

Either that, or score a bunch of touchdowns. That works too.

Posted by: Mike Tanier on 20 Aug 2009

55 comments, Last at 24 Aug 2009, 1:02pm by Kellerman

Comments

1
by tommy8215 :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:01pm

Great as always especially the Vick piece that one had me howlin'

2
by Hurt Bones :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:06pm

"It was a tough week to be Roman Polanski's dog."

That was totally uncalled for, but funny. I had a friend in high school who had a picture of Squeeky Fromme on his yearbook senior page.

3
by BMOC (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:19pm

How'd you know all the "Massage Parlors" in the city are on Samson? Come to think of it there are a lot of green doors on the St.

4
by Temo :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:24pm

He's not a hard-knocks graduate like Ryan, who used his dad's connections to get assistant coaching gigs and inherited one of the greatest defenses in history.

Bill Belichick wants his life story back.

35
by MJK :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 8:12pm

I would hardly call the defense the Pete Carroll built in New England "one of the greatest defenses in history", unless you add the phrase "at giving up yards".

38
by Tom Gower :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 9:21pm

I think that was a reference to the Giants' defense, the one where he made his rep and got his first head coaching gig off of.

41
by Temo :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 9:42am

It was, and it wasn't entirely fair. Belichick helped build that defense more than he inherited it.

But there's no reason to get technical :)

5
by Ulrikga :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:28pm

Thank you so much for banning He Who Must Not Be Named! Walkthrough is probably already my favourite column, but that will make it even better.

Didn't you forget Eldra Buckley on your list of guys? Sounds like he played a heck of a game, and is still battling Lorenzo Booker for the 3rd HB spot.

And oh yeah, the Vick piece was great, funny and relatable.

7
by Temo :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:34pm

Is the proper term not still "Princess"? Did we change that? Was there a memo?

9
by tuluse :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:49pm

We never reached consensus

34
by coboney :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 7:37pm

Well someone needs to make an excutive decision. And Princess is the call. I mean who doesn't like the headline "Princess Joins ViQueens" ?

40
by ammek :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 3:48am

Um, people who don't get a kick out of thinly disguised homophobia?

48
by thedmg :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 5:07pm

+1

25
by Rich Conley (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 4:14pm

"Didn't you forget Eldra Buckley on your list of guys? Sounds like he played a heck of a game, and is still battling Lorenzo Booker for the 3rd HB spot."

Eldra Buckley did a whole lot of running and catching passes in the flat on an offense that was down 20 points in the 2nd half. I wouldn't get too excited.

26
by Ulrikga :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 4:17pm

I thought the point was that none of the were supposed to get us too excited. ;)

42
by Temo :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 11:05am

Rich is like a football Scrooge. It's his job to throw cold water and contradict any opinions you may have. Never mind if his explanations make sense, or even if he has to paint your point in a different light in order to better contradict you. He'll get there, and you won't like it.

<3 Rich.

6
by T. Diddy :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:33pm

To the extent I ever thought about them in the past, I will never think about Pokemon the same way again. Bravo, sir.

8
by Danish Denver-Fan :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:42pm

"Looked nifty while avoiding Bronco-tackles"

This was once said about Grady Jackson...

24
by Drunkmonkey :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:59pm

HA!

31
by BroncosGuy (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 7:10pm

Of late, Bronco tacklers have made John Goodman look nimble.

10
by Danish Denver-Fan :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 1:53pm

Also, I demand that we call it the WildDog from now on...

11
by BucNasty :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 2:01pm

I'm also worried about the Eagles new tight end, Donovan McNabb. That's right, McNabb is about to follow on the heels of L.J. Smith, meaning he will have to learn to drop his own passes. "I'll be a receiver. I might be a tight end," McNabb said of his role in Vick's Grateful Dog packages. "You never know where I'll be."

Ha. From Audibles at the Line, Week 14:

Bill Barnwell: I watched the game for two and a half quarters. Then I started flipping through the channels and saw that there was a show on a 637-pound woman on. I watched that instead. It turns out she's fat.

Mike Tanier: Goal-line fullback potential?

Bill Barnwell: I thought they were moving McNabb to fullback?

Close enough, right? Good call, Bill! I love it when cheap gags become reality.

12
by James-London :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 2:01pm

Coaches gone Wild. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Phil Simms is a Cretin.

13
by The Blue Horseshoe :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 2:23pm

RE: Mike Vick Rant ---

As an Eagle fan I feel almost exactly the same, here's to hoping that he shows up there on Oct. 4th.

14
by Marko :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 2:39pm

"Jason David and Josh Bullocks get released."

You're thinking of Daniel Bullocks, who was put on the waived/injured list by the Lions. Josh Bullocks has not been released (yet) by the Bears.

"Lankster also has experience as a return man."

Then why didn't he return the laptop?

19
by c_f (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:52pm

I think it's revealing that despite the fact that though the Bears seem to have no idea who to put at FS, they definitely don't want to try Josh Bullocks.

Here is the random assortment of DBs they've tried:

Zack Bowman
Corey Graham
Danieal Manning
Craig Steltz
Kevin Payne

They have not even attempted putting Bullocks at FS.
(The strong side had heretofore been held by Payne, but the latest test was Payne at Free and 6th-round rookie Al Afalava at Strong).

15
by The Powers That Be :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 2:40pm

"Eagles fans...will be more ready to embrace him."

Sure, just like all those other hometown players Philadelphians have embraced in the past.

16
by Harris :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:15pm

Joe Kuharich went 28-41, traded away two Hall of Famers and screwed up the team's chances to draft O.J. Simpson. He deserves nothing but scorn. Vick? Hey, I'm a cat person.

Hail Hydra!

17
by Bobman :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:44pm

Mike,

The Eagles cheerleaders are well known for putting out some high-quality, um, where was I? Oh, yes, calendars. Good stuff that the guys love. (One of the things I owe TMQ for, introducing me to the gals in green.)

What if Mister Vick put out a puppy-lovers' calendar with all proceeds going to the ASPCA? Just to make sure it appeals to a broad band of Eagles fans, in each picture is a nude Vick with artfully placed, fluffy pups. Maybe they're napping, maybe playing tug-of-war. I think that should win over a few fans who admire the PSA aspect, the fund-raising, and the sheer balls of a guy who would be abused for decades by everyone who knows him.

Plus, he can meet women with the line "How about we go back to my place and I take off my shar pei."

Tanier, you have connections; you can make this happen! I think you really must do it to heal the wounds. I'll be the first to reserve one for my wife, her mom, etc. "Hon, why did you get me this?" "Oh crap, I forgot, you don't follow football at all. Well, it's funny, you see, isn't it...?"

20
by Harris :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:52pm

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the very definition of evil genius. Kudos to you, sir. And kudos again.

Hail Hydra!

47
by Kevin from Philly :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 3:55pm

Frankly, I think your plan is full of shitzu.

18
by c_f (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:45pm

Are there any other FBs converted from LB besides Miller and Korey Hall of the Packers? Coaches see guys too slow to play LB but who are good at hitting people, I guess.

Miller, fwiw, was by all accounts a team leader and good (if prank-happy) locker room guy. Definitely too slow to play Mike and apparently too slow to play Ted in the NFL, he was a sound tackler on Illinois, where he played SLB and MLB in the 4-3. I hope he makes the practice squad, but I'll be pleasantly surprised if he makes the 53-man.

23
by Theo :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:58pm

It does happen the other way around.
Josh Parry (2007? Eagles fullback) was a linebacker. It's more a 'likes to hit, so lets put him at fullback'.

27
by Rich Conley (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 4:20pm

The patriots have been using LBs at full back on goal line plays since about 2000. Vrable, Seau, Bruschi, Thomas have all played it. As well as less notable "LBs" like Dan Klecko.

28
by chemical burn :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 4:32pm

Klecko is DT, which somehow makes the "Klecko as FB" experiment even more stupid. Just glad to see Weaver back there now and Klecko doing his best Sam Rayburn impression...

39
by BigCheese :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 12:45am

William Perry would like a word with you.

- Alvaro

29
by rk (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 4:38pm

Spencer Larsen of the Broncos started at FB and MLB in the same game last year.

49
by Bobman :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 6:14pm

Copycats! I did it when I was ten back in 1974.

32
by Brendan Scolari (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 7:10pm

Oliver Hoyte on the Cowboys was originally a LB'er.

21
by andrew :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:54pm

Next rumor: Andy Reid called Brad Childress and found out the Vikings were going to sign Favre, then signed Vick just before that so they knew the media coverage would leave the Vick story when that story broke.

22
by Theo :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 3:55pm

I read the start. The first paragraphs. "Until the end of the REGULAR season." Good. Finally. I wish more writers had the balls. (NFP?)
I loved the middle part. Good views, didn't know the guys. I really liked that.
Didn't read the last part. I don't care.

30
by PHn (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 7:02pm

And here I thought Thursday, August 20, 2009 would be humor-free.

33
by Tofino :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 7:22pm

"Ex Cathedra" and Pokemon used in the same football article. This must have set some sort of record! Awesome.

36
by CathyW :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 8:18pm

We're more of a Bakugan family, but I laughed out loud at the Pokemon line. Well done, sir.

My brother, rabid Eagles fan that he is (no pun intended), has already made the leap from "WTF is up with the Vick thing?" to "The Eagles are going to be unstoppable this year! Super Bowl, WOOOOOOOO!"

Hope springs eternal in the City of Brotherly Love.

37
by Loomis (not verified) :: Thu, 08/20/2009 - 8:21pm

Reppin' WaWa! Yeah!

43
by Keith (1) (not verified) :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 11:18am

I had no idea what a Wawa was until this article.

Also, captcha is: Homosexu- triplies. What?

44
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 12:37pm

Hey, cutting a part time guy who is only guaranteed 1.5 million isn't a big deal, so I don't think signing Vick is much of a risk. He'll either help win games, or he won't, and if he doesn't, or he screws up off the field, ya' just fire him.

I do think it likely that Vick is nuts (to use a clinical term), even by the standards of professional athletes, so it won't surprise me if he gets himself jammed up in some stupid fashion. However, having a guy get jammed up with the type of contract, and responsibilities, Vick had with the Falcons, and getting jammed up with the type of contract and responsibilities Vick has with the Eagles, are entirely two different things.

45
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 2:36pm

Regarding Cableslam 2009, take a look at this....

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/2009/08/21/2009-08-21_source_...

I guess I have been reluctant to believe that even the Raiders organization could be this screwed up, but it appears that, yes, an NFL head coach might go to prison for assaulting an assistant coach. If the account in the link is accurate, then Cable is certifiable, or the assistant talks smack better than any guy in human history. Either way, if the assistant cooperates with the cops, Cable may be coaching the Pelican Bay Raiders, where they have a real black hole.

50
by Bobman :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 6:21pm

Will,

Your technical use of clinical psychotherapeutic terms notwithstanding, that was damn funny. Whatever happened to firing a guy? Or sending him to the corner for a time-out? Oh, I'll show him by um, getting sent to the slammer! 'cause that's the Raidah way!

Maybe Tatum and Villipiano can tutor him on how to cheap-shot guys without getting caught. In jail. When Tony Dungy's prison ministry rolls into town he'll tell Cable, "I've counseled Mike Vick, men who killed their families, tax cheats... but you, sir, are too stupid to bother with."

51
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 7:37pm

Bobman, we can only hope that the warden at whatever graybar hotel that Crusher Cable ends up in has elaborate eyewear, and a penchant for track suits!

Well, I'm watching my favorite Wrangler jeans model make his debut tonight! I'm sure there will be a halftime press conference regarding his career plans!

46
by TomKelso :: Fri, 08/21/2009 - 3:22pm

"I want my children to watch football. But I don't want them exposed to anything that will give them the impression that they can force unwitting animals into violent confrontation, train them to become stronger and more aggressive, confine them to tight spaces...

(Wait a second, let me turn on a Pokemon cartoon to entertain them while I work. OK, where was I?)"

Classic, sir, classic.

And do not forget Brandon Rideau. Who is Brandon Rideau? Last year's preseason receiving leader -- from the BEARS.

52
by Raiderjoe :: Sat, 08/22/2009 - 11:25pm

When enter in post at disicisscussion forum thing say too many charcters only 64 can go but had 87. can a mod please exlpaplain this? not going to be online again til Monday night but will check out this therad

as for ths thread didnt have time to read everything but came late to Cable thread a few days agao and just wanted to say that the assisitant coach deserved it becauuse T Cable is man in town and answres to Al Davis. Right now Cable has cart blach to do what he want until he messes up and then A Davis goignt to straightne him out and fire him but thing is that T Cable good so shiould make Raiders win at least 11 game in 2009 and take team to Superbowl eithetr this seaosn or the next one

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by BucNasty :: Sun, 08/23/2009 - 1:35am

Right now Cable has cart blach...

Didn't see that comin'.

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by Dan :: Sun, 08/23/2009 - 11:17am

The limit is on the number of characters in the subject line (which is "Re: Walkthrough: Who Ah You?" here). When you reply to something with a long title your subject may automatically become something that is too long so you need to change it.

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by Kellerman :: Mon, 08/24/2009 - 1:02pm

I am Dazed and Confused by the section on Aaron Brown.