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Our season finale of catch radius focuses on the growing size of Josh McCown's talented receiving duos, including breakout stud Alshon Jeffery. Also: Anquan Boldin's incredible year.

19 Oct 2006

The Week in Quotes: October 19, 2006

compiled by Alex Carnevale

AGAIN I FIND MYSELF JUST NODDING MY HEAD WHEN THIS GUY SPEAKS. DO I SEE A DOCTOR, OR MAYBE JUST READ SOME NIETZSCHE?

"He knows as a former NFL player what it takes to get up for a game every Sunday. You got to practice week in and week out. Back in them days, he was probably popping pills and tablets and all that to get up and going. But nowadays, with the drug-testing policies and the performance-enhancing policy, it's hard for a player to just go out there with just himself and go out there week in and week out.''

-- Raiders wideout Randy Moss, on Howie Long after Long dissed him. (Philadelphia Daily News)

"I don't even want the transcript. Randy's always been a different guy. Nothing's going to make it any worse right now."

-- Raiders DE Warren Sapp, on comments Moss made about the Raiders.

"I have no idea what Randy's got going but, hey, whatever it is, you've got freedom to speak your mind in this league. Just as long as he comes to play on Sundays, that's all I care about."

-- Sapp

"Winning cures a lot of what ails you. If we're 4-0 and he's on the radio, wow, nobody's paying any attention. You're winning games. But when you're 0-4, everything is magnified. And I think, being a veteran guy, he would understand that. But, hey, Moss is Moss."

-- Sapp

"My life does not depend on polls outside this organization. Until you win, people are going to talk. You have to win. We understand that. Until you do something, that is going to continue."

-- Raiders employee Art Shell (ContraCostaTimes.com)

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FANTASY FOOTBALL, JOE, LISTEN TO HIM

"How many times do you have to get to the point of saying, 'Put it on my shoulders?' If you know what I'm capable of, you know I'm on your team. If you go over our roster, you know people are going to look and say, 'We've got to stop Portis.' Give them the opportunity to stop Portis."

-- Skins RB Clinton Portis, on his reduced role in Sunday's game. (Washington Post)

I MAY HAVE BEEN AT THE SPEEDWAY SIPPING A COSMO, BUT I KNOW ONE THING: YOU CAN'T JUST POUND THE ROCK

"If you do rush the ball 10 times and average 1.2 [yards per carry], you're going to put yourself in some bad situations and you are going to be throwing the football. So I think one thing leads to the other, and when you rush the football you've got to get enough yardage to put yourself in good position so you're in mixed downs and can keep them guessing. If you put yourself in third and six, seven, eight, you're going to get yourself in trouble there."

-- Redskins coach Joe Gibbs

CLINTON IS GETTING VERY ANGRY

"Clinton would love to go all the time, but at the same time we have a game plan. We go into the game with a game plan, and if something changes, it changes. I can't say, 'Put it in my hands, I can make it happen.' Because everybody on the field feels the same way."

-- Clinton Portis

STEP ONE, DENIAL. STEP TWO, FIRE YOUR FRIEND. STEP THREE, PAXIL.

"The Bears are what we thought they were. We played them in preseason. Who the hell picks a third game in preseason like it's bullshit? We played them in the third game. Everybody played three quarters. The Bears are who we thought they were. That's why we took the damn field. If you want to crown them, just crown their asses. They are who we thought they we were, and we let them off the hook!"

-- The immortal Dennis Green, Cardinals head coach

"I've known Keith for a long time. I have the utmost respect for him. We are not scoring enough points."

-- Dennis Green, on fired offensive coordinator Keith Rowan

"At certain times you feel like you have to do something different. [Kruczek] is old-school all the way and that's what I think we need right now."

-- Green, on former QB coach, new offensive coordinator Kruczek

LAST TIME MATT HAD A CLOSE WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE, SHE GOT PREGNANT

"I think his close working relationship with Matt Leinart will give us a better chance."

-- Green

WHEN HE KEYED MY CAMARO, NO BIG DEAL. WHEN HE SLEPT WITH MY WIFE, I WASN'T TOO PLEASED. BUT THIS OFFENSIVE PERFORMANCE IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.

"There was no single incident, no single episode, nothing specific that brought about this change. Something dramatic needed to be done."

-- Ravens head coach Brian Billick (ESPN.com)

"It serves no purpose to go back and revisit any particular reason why this has been brought about so I'm not gonna do it."

-- Billick

"Everywhere I've been, I've gotten the offense up and running pretty fast. It didn't happen here and the reason I believe is that I wasn't in full control."

-- now former Ravens offensive coordinator Jim Fassel

"This has been building for quite a while and finally I went to Brian last week and said, 'Look Brian, you've always run a good offense and I've always run a good offense, but the bottom line is somebody has to be in charge. Somebody has to pull the trigger and it can't be two guys.'"

-- Fassel

ON ONE HAND, IT WASN'T QUITE WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR. ON THE OTHER HAND, IT DID COME WITH A SEVERANCE PACKAGE

"Brian was very good about this. He told me, 'You're right. My job's on the line and the only way I can deal with it is if I take control of the offense.'"

-- Fassel

"There's a big difference between being a play-caller and running your offense. Calling plays doesn't matter, it's who's structuring that thing."

-- Fassel

HE REALIZED HE CAN BE ON FOX WITHOUT GETTING HORSE-COLLARED ONCE A WEEK

"He's seriously leaning toward it. I think he feels he's perfected his craft, in a way, and is ready for something else."

-- Tiki Barber's agent, Mark Lepselter (The New York Times)

"You do not replace Tiki Barber, he's a Hall of Famer. You have to go beyond the statistics to completely appreciate him, but I think he qualifies on numbers alone."

-- Ernie Accorsi, Giants general manager

"Frankly, it would be terrific for both of us to go out with a Super Bowl."

-- Accorsi

RUN THE FOOTBALL? NO. USE A HANDGUN? YES.

"The one thing I can say [is] a 2,000-yard rusher doesn't forget how to run the football."

-- Ravens running back Jamal Lewis

HE PUT IT ON HIS SHOULDERS

"They had to beg for things."

-- lawyer Ed Glennon, of players back in the day. Glennon "challenged former NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle and his feudalistic owners, in Minneapolis federal court in 1975."

"Watching Ed Glennon in the courtroom is like watching Leonard Bernstein conduct a symphony. It's a thing of beauty."

-- Ed Garvey, former NFLPA director on Ed Glennon (San Jose Mercury News)

"To me, an enemy is an enemy. He's an enemy until one of us is dead."

-- Glennon

"There's this sense that lawyers argue in court and then they go out for a drink. Ed's not that type. If you're on the other side, then you're on the other side. It doesn't mean you have to be nasty all the time, just when you're awake."

-- Garvey

"If the Mackey case had come out the other way you would have a very different NFL today, characterized by labor instability and a less successful business model."

-- Stephen F. Ross, director of the Penn State Institute for Sports Law, Policy & Research, on the importance of the case Glennon won versus young whippersnapper lawyer Paul Tagliabue.

"People say the players get too much money. I say, where should it go? Should it all go to the owners? No. The dumbest owner in the world could not lose money in the NFL."

-- Ed Glennon

"IF YOU HAD ONE SHOT, ONE OPPORTUNITY/TO SEIZE EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED"

"There's been tremendous progress. More and more, the league and teams are embracing the idea of diversity. Now it seems the fair thing to do, the good thing to do."

-- Former Browns DL John Wooten, now chairman of the Fritz Pollard Alliance (Rocky Mountain News)

"When I was playing, the guys who wanted to go into coaching were looking at climbing a really tough ladder because they didn't see an opportunity to be a head coach. Some were less inclined to go down this route. But you always knew Tony Dungy wanted to be a coach."

-- former Giant Harry Carson. According to the article, "one NFL executive told Dungy he should shave his beard because he looked too much like a black radical. Another asked Dungy to estimate how many blacks he would have on his staff if he became coach."

"Guys like [Marvin Lewis] know it's imperative that they put football first because they don't really have a second chance, like some of the coaches who've gone through the coaching carousel. Dick Jauron is on his second or third coaching stint in Buffalo. A black coach doesn't have that luxury. He's going to get one shot, and if he doesn't make it good, that shot is going to be gone."

-- Carson

NEVER!!!

"The department strongly encourages the public to continue to go about their plans, including attending events that involve large public gatherings such as football games."

-- Russ Knocke, Homeland Security spokesman, after a Web message suggested NFL stadiums might be victimized with dirty bombs. (ESPN.com)

EQUALLY SCARY

"A team cannot change its surface during the season. A club must finish the season with the same surface it began with."

-- AFC information manager Steve Alic yesterday, on Gillette Stadium.

POT. KETTLE. BLACK.

"There will be no more friendly nothing because I don't trust anybody like that. I will go out and practice hard. I will respect him as a coach, and he should respect me as a player. Anything outside of that I am not going to be able to deal with. Right now, we are merely coworkers, and that's it."

-- Cowboys wideout Terrell Owens, on his fractured, Bennifer-esque relationship with Cowboys coach Todd Haley (ESPN.com)

"He's my coach and I respect him. That doesn't mean we have to go to lunch together, play cards together."

-- Owens, after the Cowboys' 34-6 win over the Texans.

I WAS LIKE, DUDE I'M READING 'THE BROOM OF THE SYSTEM,' GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES BRAH

"By the time I step on the field, Todd starts cursing at me, this and that, and I'm like, 'Dude, I was in the restroom. He said, 'I don't [care] what you were doing. Everybody else is out here.'"

-- Owens

TODD'S OUT OF CONTROL -- THE GUY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PILLS HE'S TAKING

"I was venting, he was venting. I felt it stayed behind closed doors. It's all about frustration. Everybody is still frustrated from the loss on Sunday. At some point, we had our time to vent on Monday, Tuesday and have that bad taste that sick feeling out of your mouth. On Wednesday, it's a new day. It's a new game plan, a new team that we're getting prepared for. That's where our focus and direction should be. But obviously Todd, he's been frustrated, and he's taking it out on other people."

-- Owens, on a meeting he had with Haley.

"You hope he does something to piss his team off. I know I'm going to strive to try to make him do something that fires that team up to do something wrong. I wish he'd keep messing up that team over there."

-- Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce, on T.O. (New York Post)

"In business, you have people that work together and don't necessarily get along together."

-- Owens

"I will have a hard time [trusting him] here on out."

--- Owens

"BUT I DON'T CARE I REALLY DON'T CARE DID YOU SEE THE DRUMMER'S HAIR"

"The dude had hair, what was I going to do? That was the only thing I could get my hands on."

-- Chiefs RB Larry Johnson, on bringing down Steelers DB Troy Polamalu after an interception by his dreads. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

"It doesn't matter to me if he tackles me by my hair or my ankles."

-- Polamalu

"That's the Ricky Williams rule.�

-- Chiefs head coach Herman Edwards (Chiefs.com)

AFTER YOU'VE WON A SUPER BOWL, THEN YOU CAN STARVE YOUR DOG, HERM, BUT NOT BEFORE

"No one feels sorry for you. They really don't. The only person who feels sorry for you is your wife or your kids or your dog, but only if you feed it.''

-- Chiefs coach Herm Edwards, on losing

THE ROMAN EMPIRE WAS SIMILARLY UNPOPULAR OVERSEAS AND WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE

“I think we're behind generally outside of the U.S. Baseball has a significant presence in Latin America and Japan. Basketball is looking at European league ideas. It's a shrinking, small world, and all fans know there is an incredible product out there, and it's the NFL regular season."

-- Mark Waller, senior VP of NFL International, who opined that Canada will likely receive the first foreign franchise.

"If you would have taken Joe Montana to Japan 20 years ago, it would have been a huge success. It depends on who you're taking. It's not unlike soccer teams coming to play in the U.S. If it's Manchester United versus Argentina, it would be through the roof in the right place."

-- Frank Vuono, a former NFL vice president for licensing. (The New York Times)

"STEP INTO MY OFFICE." "WHY?" "CAUSE YOU'RE F---IN' FIRED."

"We were disappointed in the incident that happened on the field and regret the way it was handled in the broadcast booth. We do not support or condone the inappropriate comments made by color analyst Lamar Thomas and have taken the necessary steps to prevent a similar situation from ever occurring again."

-- Comcast Sports SouthEast general manager Mark Fuhrman

"Now, that's what I'm talking about. You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don't come into the OB playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city. You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat. I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing."

-- former Hurricane Lamar Thomas, repping Miami during Saturday's brawl with Florida International.

"Anybody who knows me knows I played the game of football with my heart on my sleeve. Unfortunately for me during the fight I got a little hyped up. In no way do I condone fighting."

-- Thomas

"I say, why don't they just meet outside in the tunnel after the ball game and get it on some more? You don't come into the OB, baby. We've had a down couple years but you don't come in here talking smack. Not in our house."

--Thomas

"Football is a violent sport. There's an ambulance on the field before the game even starts. You tell guys to push, shove and blow people over a pile, and then, 'Oh, here's the whistle. Stop.' I'm sure [Albert Haynesworth] would love to retract what he did. But there's another 75 guys who would have done the same thing, but won't admit it.''

-- Former NFL offensive lineman Kevin Gogan

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD

"I don't have a relationship with him."

-- Art Shell, on Mike Shanahan (San Francisco Chronicle)

"I don't speak to him very much."

-- Denver Broncos coach Mike Shanahan, who tried to fire Shell in 1989.

"There was a power move and I was able to retain my job."

-- Shell

"A theme throughout our team is not doing our jobs, understanding our jobs and doing what we are coached to do."

-- Art Shell (USA Today)

THE REST

"One guy goes after nothing but sacks. The other guy plays complete. One guy says outrageous statements about he's the best at this, this, this and the other guy ... it's not even close. All Simeon Rice does is rush the passer; that's it. If he doesn't get to the quarterback, you can forget it. He ain't making any other plays."

-- Panthers WR Keyshawn Johnson, on the difference between Rice and Julius Peppers. (TBO.com)

"There was nothing conclusive or decisive that was diagnosed. Corey said he couldn't return, couldn't go, couldn't participate.''

-- Colts owner Jim Orsay, on the "polyarthritis" that ESPN claimed DE Corey Simon was diagnosed with.

"She was excited to hear I was signing with the Patriots. She just likes Brady. I don't know if his looks have anything to do with it. It better be his playing.''

-- Patriots wideout Jabar Gaffney, on his wife's reaction to him signing with the Patriots. (Philadelphia Daily News)

"He has nice hands."

-- Brady, more interested in Jabar than Mrs. Gaffney.

"I think rushing offense, those yardage numbers always have a little bit to do with the final score. The more that you're ahead, the more opportunities you're going to have to run in the fourth quarter, and the more yardage you're going to gain, and the less they're going to run the ball. If I had to say anything about the rushing yardage, it would be yards per carry. I think that number can be very misleading. I really don't put too much into that one."

-- Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, in his 10/18 press conference.

"I always seem to forget to watch football on Monday night. I heard about it. I feel for those guys. But I tell you what, 'Amadeus' was great."

-- Jake Plummer, on the play he attended on Monday night (Denver Post)

"That's what I told Bill Parcells. He said, 'Good, go to Canada.'"

-- Ray Lucas. When Parcells drafted him, he told the Tuna he wanted to play QB.

send submissions to quotes [at] footballoutsiders [dot] com

Posted by: Alex Carnevale on 19 Oct 2006

43 comments, Last at 20 Oct 2006, 7:22pm by emcee fleshy (atl)

Comments

1
by NewsToTom (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:23pm

Ah, Ray Lucas.

2
by mathesond (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:24pm

That's just Randy being Randy

3
by Harris (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:26pm

T.O. is becoming a more talented Mike Tyson. Why does anyone listen to anything he has to say?

4
by beedubyuh (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:32pm

Nice job, fellas. This is becoming one of my favorite features.

5
by Lotherian (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:36pm

Good read, all. Some feedback:

I think the section headings are being a.) overused, and b.) are excessive in length, when used.

I find myself skipping them. I'd like a balance. Fewer headings, allowing more flow between quotes.

6
by Doug (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:40pm

#3 - T.O. will never be anything near Mike Tyson. Until he says something about eating children, ripping hearts out of chests,"fading into Bolivian", or dominating souls, T.O. will not be comparable at all to Iron Mike.

7
by Harris (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:47pm

My point was less that T.O.'s style is impregnable or his defense impervious, than that he says a whole lot of things that make entirely no sense. The difference is nobody takes Tyson seriously. Owens can say something, then contradict himself in the very next sentence and still get quoted as though anything he says has even the slightest connection to reality.

8
by TGT (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:54pm

#3 - T.O. is no where near the athlete Iron Mike was. T.O. is a top receiver. Mike might have been the best boxer ever.

9
by zlionsfan (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 1:57pm

The fact that the Colts have always been about offense doesn't mean that there's even an O in Irsay. :)

What would be better for the NFL than adding more teams in other countries? Adding them in countries in different time zones. Kickoff for Frankfurt's game will be at 1:30 AM local time.

If there is any way Dennis Green could come back to the Vikings, that would be great. We don't play the Cardinals that often.

Five consecutive sentences from Belichick? Was that all from the same press conference?

That Comcast employee ... that can't be ... (Googles) ... no, it's not. But wow, how weird would that have been?

10
by Peter (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:06pm

3: Mike Tyson also raped a woman, and just this week said he'd like to fight one in the ring. Perspective.

11
by princeton73 (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:11pm

A black coach doesn’t have that luxury. He’s going to get one shot, and if he doesn’t make it good, that shot is going to be gone

Art Shell, Tony Dungy,and Dennis Green say hi

12
by Bill Barnwell :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:21pm

I, actually, wouldn't mind a column entirely consisting of column headings and made-up quotes to fit those headings.

13
by Fnor (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:23pm

Made-up quotes are always much more fun.

14
by Pacifist Viking (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:24pm

“It serves no purpose to go back and revisit any particular reason why this has been brought about so I’m not gonna do it.�
– Billick

No, it serves no purpose whatsoever to discuss the reasons for an action. None.

Jake Plummer is cool, though.

15
by zip (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:31pm

#5,#12

I like the headings.

16
by calig23 (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:32pm

Re:#11

Herman Edwards says "Hi", too.

17
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:38pm

If Mike Tyson was the best boxer ever, then Trent Dilfer was the best quarterback ever. Mike Tyson won the championship by smacking an undersized, terrorized heavyweight, Michael Spinks, and lost the title the first time he ran into a decent sized heavyweight who had a jab, and didn't get terrified the first time Tyson threw a punch, to the tremendous boxing titan that was Buster Douglas. Tyson never beat anybody who was anything, unless you want to count Larry Holmes after he got his AARP card.

Mike Tyson doesn't even make the list of top ten heavyweights, maybe not even top twenty.

18
by Richard (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:42pm

I also like the headings, most of the time they're funnier than the actual quotes.

Keep up the good work, man.

19
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:42pm

Can you imagine a conversation between Terrell Owens and Randy Moss? There hasn't been enough Thorazine ever manufactured to level out the psychosis contained within that exchange.

20
by JasonK (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:49pm

I like the headlines too. How many football sites include references to Neitzsche, Eminem, and David Foster Wallace in one column?

21
by Bobman (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:50pm

zlionsfan beat me to it! I was going to ask if Jim Orsay was (A) Saddam Hussain's 3rd son or (B) founded a museum in Paris.

But his was more football related, so I won't say it.

22
by Wanker79 (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:53pm

Some of my favorite Tyson quotes:

"He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm no recluse."

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"I'm gonna f*** you til you love me!"

"That was the best punch I ever threw." ("jokingly" talking about his ex-wife, Robin Givens)

23
by Bobman (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:53pm

The Belichick quote is great and generally true, but if he was the OC for AZ on Monday night with that attitude, he'd be looking for work today, no? Run in the 4th quarter with the lead? Hah!

Of course if he was the OC with that personnel on the OL, he'd be in the funny farm first.

24
by bsr (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 2:55pm

#16 - Ray Rhodes also says hi. Actually, has there ever been a black coach that has been fired and not subsequently re hired?

Not saying anything about the opportunities of black coaches, as there have been few up until recent years. But the whole second chance angle doesn't make much sense.

25
by Andrew (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 3:44pm

11: Dungy and Green both had good teams that played well for several years and made the playoffs more than not. I'm not sure about Shell on this count. On the other hand, Dick Jauron had one good team in his years in Chicago and that one pretty much looked like a fluke. You could say that Dungy and Green "made it", while it's tough to argue that Jauron did likewise. Meanwhile, Jauron was (fairly inexplicably) given another shot. Does anyone actually know the rationale behind hiring him?

26
by Craigers (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 3:57pm

The hire-once thing is (generally) true of black baseball managers; I don't know about football.

27
by Marko (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 4:06pm

It hasn't been true for Frank Robinson, Dusty Baker or Don Baylor.

28
by Marko (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 4:21pm

The Dennis Green rant is so much better when it includes audio and video. Green's rising voice, his hand pounding the podium and microphone, and Green walking away, with the Cardinals' PR guy clasping his hands and saying "Thanks, coach," and informing the media that Matt Leinart will be in shortly, all add tremendously to the Dennis Green Experience.

29
by JJcruiser (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 4:30pm

Billick: “This has been building for quite a while"

You mean blaming your offensive woes on someone else when your QB can't hit the open slot receiver and your running back is taking tapdance lessons in the backfield instead of hitting the hole with a semblance of authority?

Maybe Fassel is to blame for hiring McNair and keeping Jamal Lewis as the starter. But I doubt it.

30
by JJcruiser (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 4:32pm

25:

Jauron had an arguably successful campaign in Chicago and then did -- what many people regarded to be at least -- a very good job as interim coach in Detroit.

Besides, who else was there? That's also the answer to the inherent "Why did the Raiders hire Art Shell" question. Who else was there?

31
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 4:40pm

By Jamal Lewis' reasoning, O.J. Simpson should be signed by some team.

32
by NewsToTom (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 4:58pm

Re #31
But that would interfere with his book deal.

33
by Craigers (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 5:09pm

It hasn’t been true for Frank Robinson, Dusty Baker or Don Baylor.

Baker was a three-time Manager of the Year, so the "bad job" thing doesn't really apply - it'll be interesting to see if he gets another chance now after screwing up the Cubs. Baylor was seen as having done fairly well in Colorado; he hasn't gotten another chance since screwing up the Cubs.

Robinson - I know from having seen up close what he did in Montreal - was also a very good manager, so the "bad job" thing doesn't really qualify. He's also Frank Robinson, of course, and one of the ten best ever to play the game.

Generally speaking, black and Latin baseball managers get one chance even if they're successful (Cito Gaston, Jerry Manuel) whereas the Jimy Williamses or Grady Littles or Jeff Torborgs can screw up forever and keep getting hired.

Actually, I did just think of a counterexample that I think is a good one... Hal McRae.

34
by RecoveringPackerFan (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 6:04pm

I enjoy the description of Art Shell as a Raiders "employee." Whether intentional or not, it is certainly more accurate than referring to him as a coach. After all, coaching requires speaking.

35
by Tom Kelso (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 6:37pm

This is funny --

Last year, Billick was the problem because he was too devoted to Boller and didn't want to listen to people telling him he was a bad QB, because Boller was "his pick".

This year, he's running off Fassel because he wants to impose McNair on the team over Boller. That's the Kevin Hench theory, roughly seconded by JJcruiser in #29 above. So which is he, Kyle's best friend or his worst enemy?

As far as Jamal Lewis being the starter, he was fine until two things happened: one, he ran into two pretty good defenses in SD and Denver; and two, Mulitalo was lost for the season against SD. Aaron is right whne he points out the bad effect that has on an already iffy line.

But to Hench, it all boils down to Mr. Mackey -- "Brian Billick is bad. He's bad, mmmm K?"

36
by witless chum (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 7:44pm

30: Who are these people who think Jauron did a good job in Detroit?

I disagree. Jauron probably lost games by sticking with Jeff Garcia over Joey Harrington at QB. He also refused Millen (sensible, for once) desire to play young guys instead of veterans in general.

He was a better-than-acknowledged defensive coordinator in Detroit, though.

37
by Bjorn (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 8:48pm

My favourite (nearly accurate quote) of the week:

"You can not drop that interception. Write that down; this will come back to bite the Cardinals."

-Joe Theismann, talking about Antrel Rolle's dropped interception on third down in the first quarter of Monday's game. Rolle dropped it at about the 20 yard line. On the next play, Chicago punted the ball, and Arizona started their next posession at about the 20 yard line.

Nice work, Joe.

38
by Rob S. (not verified) :: Thu, 10/19/2006 - 9:10pm

Re 20, I was going to say, the David Foster Wallace comment, while awesome, was really random. Just choosing that DFW book. What's the matter guys, didn't get through Infinite Jest?

39
by Matthew Furtek (not verified) :: Fri, 10/20/2006 - 1:21am

You guys completely missed an awesome series of quotes by the great Ron Pitts and Brian Baldinger (?) in the Rams vs. Seahawks.

I will include Pitts call and () around Baldinger's interjections. I'm not sure it was Baldinger but I know it was Pitts.

Dewey beats Truman!
"A flag has gone down... that could be a 10 second run off... 10 second runoff! (Yes!) Because the clock was running if it was on the offense (yes, absolutely...offensive foul, 10 second run-off), and what a way to lose if that was it. (They will not even get a chance to attempt the field goal.)" - Pitts and Baldinger

My guns are much bigger than YOURS!
"The game is not over. It was an illegal formation by the offense, #81 was not up to the line of scrimmage. THAT DOES NOT END THE GAME! There is no 10 second run-off for that foul, the ball was legally snapped. No 10 second run-off. There is still 4 seconds on the clock. 5 yard penalty, repeat 3rd down." - Ed Hoculi

I'm gonna sit down and shut up now...
"Ed is so good on that and he's right, it wasn't a play that prevented the snap that prevented the ball... had it been a false start, that is different." - Pitts

And gentlemen, that is why you both should be fired.

I know all anyone saw from that game was the Holt catch and Brown kick, but it is challenging for one of the top 10 games of the season.

40
by KJ (not verified) :: Fri, 10/20/2006 - 1:40am

37: How about when the Bears were down 13 and he said that they can't kick a FG, because then they'd still be down 13, which is 2 scores? This was also nearly accurate.

Of course my all-time favorite in this vein is Marv Albert exulting, "Phoenix has outscored Dallas by 14 from the 3-point line!" That was not accurate at all.

41
by mactbone (not verified) :: Fri, 10/20/2006 - 11:19am

I like the intros, especially when you include a Pavement reference. I just don't get all of the references and I end up getting confused why it's the intro. The Pavement one makes perfect sense because the quote is appropriate and the song is Cut Your Hair.

42
by Jesus Christ (not verified) :: Fri, 10/20/2006 - 2:19pm

#16 - Ray Rhodes also says hi. Actually, has there ever been a black coach that has been fired and not subsequently re hired?

Terry Robiskie?

43
by emcee fleshy (atl) (not verified) :: Fri, 10/20/2006 - 7:22pm

These Raiders are not an actual NFL team.

Therefore, Art Shell has never been rehired.