Mike and Tom finally get a shot at the southern divisions and wade through the fetid morass of mediocrity. Look out for Hott Takez!
01 Sep 2006
compiled by Alex Carnevale
Readers of our partner website Baseball Prospectus are no doubt familiar with the longtime regular BP feature "The Week in Quotes." It collects quotes both funny and serious, quotes about both the big stories and the small stories you may have missed. Extending the synergy between the two sites, we're proud to debut The Week in Quotes here on Football Outsiders, compiled by Alex Carnevale -- also one of the guys responsible for TWIQ on BP.com. Of course, the advantage of TWIQ on FO is that it has a discussion thread. Starting next week, TWIQ will appear every Thursday morning, with Every Play Counts moving up a day to Wednesday.
"If these allegations are true, the NFL needs to aggressively investigate this case, find out why these players weren't caught by its drug testing program, and make the necessary changes so that cheaters aren't flaunting the system."
--Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., on allegations that members of the Panthers' 2003 Super Bowl season got steroids from a South Carolina doctor (USA Today)
"Now with creams and patches and gels and lozenges, you're able to deliver low doses in short periods of time. It gives you an opportunity to manipulate the system, to stay below the cutoff levels they use for positive tests. If you combine anabolic steroids, with HGH ... it raises the question: `How much is that going on in elite, professional sports?'"
--Dr. Gary Wadler, who testified before on the Committee on Government Reform's "Zero Tolerance Roundtable Final Meeting" (San Jose Mercury News)
"I think that it is being suggested that it's the panacea, but we think that there are substantial questions."
--Adolpho Birch, NFL counsel for player relations, on the $500,000 that will be spent jointly by the league and union to find an effective test for HGH.
"It seems to me if you are sending a message you are not going to test, what you are really saying is you can, in essence, use (HGH) with impunity."
"Why Major League Baseball and the National Football League have taken such a strong position on [not testing for HGH] is unclear to me. The Dr. Shortt case just underscores that we cannot be so dismissive of the issue of human growth hormone."
"I've heard an estimate that over the last 5-10 years, in excess of $5 million has been invested in HGH detection research. We're talking in the millions of dollars, not the hundreds of thousands. It's an exquisitely complicated subject. To put all your eggs in that basket, and that's what they're doing, doesn't make sense."
"One of the Carolina players was in the program. I will not discuss which one. However, if they were using something that could not be tested for, that is another story."
--Gene Upshaw, executive director of the Players Association.
"Our testing is sufficient and we did not discuss increasing the number of tests in our (CBA) extension. We have been very aggressive in our program and have always done what is best to protect our players' health. Our current program is working and there is no need to increase testing."
"If you cheat in the NFL and use performance-enhancing drugs, you will get caught."
"We're trying to get cuts on film to have other teams defend for it. Other teams see that, they put it in their notes and on their scouting report."
--Rams guard Richie Incognito (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)
"We want to run the ball, so we're going to have to get physical with people."
"I looked into Dwight's eyes before we signed him. I was comfortable with what I learned from different organizations that he has been with, and from [defensive coordinator Mike Tomlin] having spent time with him, and it's shame that this has painted him in that light."
--Vikings head coach Brad Childress, on S Dwight Smith, who was cited for indecent conduct (Minneapolis Star-Tribune)
"I don't know that every team goes through this. But I know that those guys want very desperately to be judged on the football field and not off the football field. People make unfortunate decisions sometimes, and the message is that everyone is accountable in this culture, in this day and age, whether it's me or whoever it is."
"When you change a culture, just because you are here for six months or eight months, that culture does not change immediately."
"You think I am going to insert the guy in with no practice? Are you out of your mind? How would I know he is healthy if he didn't practice?"
--Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells
"If that's one of his rules, then that's something I have to abide by."
"That's so inaccurate. I don't know where that came from."
--Owens, on whether he's testing Coach Parcells.
"I think everybody has overslept, you know, once or twice in their life."
--Owens, on his $9,500 fine for oversleeping.
"From my standpoint, it's all good. Apart from him not being on the field and getting repetitions, has it in any way affected relationships on this team, teammates on this team, relationships between me and Bill, me and the coaching staff, Terrell and Bill, Terrell and the coaching staff? Zero impact there."
--Cowboys owner Jerry Jones
"He's had an exemplary, standard preseason."
--Owens' agent Drew Rosenhaus, on The Best Damn Sports Show Period.
"I've got to move on. I can't let this get me down."
"It might not be the best timing in the world, but we are obviously very happy to have a new baby in the family. Brynn just found out about a month ago and told the team on Monday."
--Stan Cameron, father of 20-year old USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, who is pregnant with the child of Cardinals QB Matt Leinart (Ventura County Star)
''I'm not going to comment.''
''Brynn does not want to get married. She wants to finish school and let Matt do his thing and then figure it out.''
"Once the baby is born, she wants to get back to playing basketball again and finish school. I know Brynn will make a great mom."
"Things will be fine."
"It will be fun."
"Nolan just doesn't know what he's doing. He's a first-time head coach with too much power. He has too much power as a first-time head coach. He walks around with a chip on his shoulder, like he's a dictator, like he's Hitler. People are scared of him. If it ain't Nolan's way, it's the highway.''
--Jets RB Kevan Barlow, acquired from the 49ers for a fourth-round draft pick. (Washington Post)
"I was kind of harsh on him, saying he's a dictator. That's bad. Saddam Hussein is a dictator. I was speaking on emotion.''
"I tried to go back and take some things back from the reporter, but obviously he wanted to write a story. It was too late by then."
"That's sad when you work in a place that you constantly have to watch the walls just because maybe they have the possibility of falling on you."
--Bucs LB Ryan Nece on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' training facility, One Buc Place (Tampa Tribune)
"There are times I'll be standing at the board drawing up plays and you'll hear something run behind you. It's like, 'What was that?' Only you really don't want to know what it is.'"
--Joe Barry, Bucs linebackers coach
"Once I found out he was out there, I was through. I knew what would happen. He would get in my office and find his way up inside my desk. The players made fun of me because I was scared of a little snake. I told them if they weren't scared, to pick it up."
--Tampa Bay receivers coach Richard Mann
"Sometimes in the early morning meetings, they'd appear, so we started naming them. One would come by and we'd look at him and stare at him a little bit and he'd look at us and then run out."
--Bucs LB Shelton Quarles, on the rats of One Buc Place
"It was the worst case of athlete's foot ever. I got medical prescriptions to rub on it and it still didn't cure it. I went home to New Jersey and within a month, it was gone. They call it the One Buc Funk."
--Bucs QB Chris Simms
"When you think about going to the pros, you think everything is going to be so nice. But the first time I drove up here, I said, 'This is it?' I thought maybe it was nicer on the inside. I came in and definitely was a little shocked."
"I didn't have a reference point. I didn't know if the whole league was like that or if we were the only antiquated team in the NFL."
"It's somewhat of a shock to have half the weight room outside. But there are a lot of things you learn to love about the place. If you can win there, you can win anywhere. It's just a place we had to work. It doesn't translate onto the field. Obviously, if that were true, moving to this new place, we better play better."
"I don't know what's going to happen to that building, but when they tear it down, there's going to be some mad rats."
--Doug Williams, former Bucs QB
"You look at Madden and it can help you on the field, as well, making reads, seeing where the quarterback is going to throw the ball. I try to have fun with it, but at the same time, it's a teaching tool."
--Eagles defensive back Michael Lewis. Madden '06 grossed $289 million. (Philadelphia Inquirer)
"When you're on the cover, you know one thing--that you're pretty good. People think they've got to hit you just a little bit harder.''
--Shaun Alexander, on his appearance on the cover of Madden '07 (Bloomberg.com)
"Voltron still hasn't fully formed yet. We still had a solid showing with the first-string defense. I can only imagine what we will be once we get everybody out there."
--Giants LB LaVar Arrington . The Giants' defensive unit garnered the nickname of the popular mech-robot (New York Daily News)
"When they weren't Voltron, they were still pretty good. But when they formed Voltron, then they got serious. Then they were knocking things out."
"I'm just as approachable as anyone. I like a good story or a laugh. The door is open, come on in. I don't have an agenda. I don't have a chip on my shoulder or a big ego."
--Giants head coach Tom Coughlin, that old softie (The New York Times)
"It's always good when you make the front cover of Sports Illustrated."
--Steelers LB Joey Porter (Pittsburgh Tribune)
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56 comments, Last at 06 Sep 2006, 1:45pm by mactbone