Drew Stanton's 2014 season: a winning PowerBall ticket published on a four-leaf clover sitting atop a mound of horseshoes and rabbit's feet.
12 Dec 2008
compiled by Mark Zajack
"I am Chad Johnson. I wear 85 and I'm very, very good at what I do."
-Bengals wide receiver Chad Ocho Cinco, who was then reminded of his new surname.
"Yeah, I'm that guy, too. So therefore the numbers will always be what they are. One down year means nothing."
-Ocho Cinco. (Cincinnati Enquirer)
"I got a lot of calls about that."
-Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, on the local Fox camera crew's post-game locker room coverage catching Shiancoe adjusting his towel and momentarily revealing more of the tight end's anatomy than expected.
"I know, but it's within the locker room, not with the nation but you know, it's not too bad. I didn't just get out the pool."
-Shiancoe, clearly, not worried about shrinkage.
"Is it all over the Internet?"
-Shiancoe, who was then told that there was an unedited clip on Youtube.
"How'd it look?"
-Shiancoe. (Star Tribune)
-Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones, on when he would end his vow of silence to the media. (Dallas Morning News)
"You always want to score. On defense, we're probably more concerned with scoring than the offense. They're more concerned with controlling the clock."
-Steelers safety Troy Polamalu, who made these comments before the Dallas game, about scoring off of turnovers. (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
"Who called a timeout? You guys called a timeout?"
-Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, as related by Steelers linebacker James Harrison, Romo questioning why the Steelers would call timeout with 1:51 remaining and the Cowboys trying to run the two-minute drill.
"Yeah, we called a timeout. And you go and throw a pick to Deshea [Townsend], so we can win."
-Steelers linebacker James Harrison, relating the prescient logic to Romo after the game. (Dallas Morning News)
"It was a route that they had been running all night. Coach LeBeau made a great call, and it worked out for us."
-Steelers cornerback Deshea Townsend, on defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau predicting that the Cowboys would try to get the ball to Witten on a curl when they lined up in the trips formation.
"It was a great play call by them."
-Townsend, laying on a thick layer of sarcasm.
"Right at eye level."
-Townsend, complimenting the throw from Romo.
"Deshea just ran the route for the receiver."
-Harrison. (Dallas Morning News)
"I might as well get a Raisin Bran tattoo right here, because I'm crunchy. I'm a crunch time player. That's why I'm gonna get this Raisin Bran tattoo."
-Redskins cornerback Fred Smoot, on a prospective theme for his first tattoo.
"Naw, see, that's for little kids. This is grown folks. We're gonna eat Raisin Bran."
-Smoot, rejecting the suggestion of a "Captain Crunch" tattoo instead. (Washington Post)
"College five years ago was the last time I took an actual rep in practice or a game."
-Redskins backup offensive lineman Justin Geisinger, on having to play left tackle against the Ravens after an injuries to both starting tackles, Jon Jansen and Chris Samuels.
"It's been a while but it's something that I wasn't COMPLETELY unfamiliar with because I've done it before. But it's just been a while. ... I'm more of an interior backup obviously, but when you dress seven guys on Sunday, injuries do happen. It's a violent game."
-Geisinger, who was abused by Ravens defensive end Terrell Suggs on the drive.
"I actually pointed at Jim Zorn and said, 'You can't do this, you're going to get your quarterback hurt,' I was like, 'I don't think this guy is supposed to be here. You've got a mistake.'"
-Ravens defensive end Terrell Suggs, who praised Geisinger's effort under the circumstances. (Washington Post)
"A distraction from what? We done lost four out of our last five games. So if it's a distraction, what else can we do? We can't do nothing but win."
-Redskins running back Clinton Portis, when asked if he thought his sarcastic comments about coach Jim Zorn's "genius" would be a distraction to the team. (NFL.com)
"Clinton always provides good entertainment."
-Redskins offensive tackle Jon Jansen, on Portis' comments.
"I think I was actually watching a basketball game and it went across the ticker, I wasn't even watching football....I've got too many other things to worry about. I don't know. I'm just a middle linebacker."
-Redskins linebacker London Fletcher, on how he heard about the Portis-Zorn saga. (Washington Post)
"Bill Walsh used to want to hear the Coke vendors in the stands with nobody up there (yelling), 'Anybody want a Coke?' He loved the feeling of going into another place, on the road and winning. Good football teams really love it."
-Buccaneers head coach Jon Gruden, on looking forward to hearing the deafening silence that goes with winning on the road. That did not happen. (Bradenton Herald)
"I don't take one thing back."
-Lions center Dominic Raiola, on his lack of remorse for making an obscene gesture toward Lions fans because their heckling went too far.
"I'm tired of being a doormat for people to just talk to us how they want to talk to us. I'm just not going to put up with that anymore."
-Raiola, boiling over after eight years of frustration.
"It's coming at me because I've been here for years. I've been through the losing. Me, Jeff (Backus) and whoever else are the head of the losing."
-Raiola, who apparently inherited Matt Millen's former title, "head of the losing."
"I'd do that, but you can't. Nobody plays with fists. Everybody wants to play with metal."
-Raiola, wishing he could give some fans his home address, but knowing that could "backfire." (Yahoo.com)
"Just a little knick-knack."
-Giants cornerback Aaron Ross, describing the ankle injury that knocked him out of the Eagles game in terms of Bond henchmen. Less serious than an Oddjob or Jaws injury.
-Giants running back Brandon Jacobs, saying that he could have come back in the game after tweaking his knee, but, uh, why would he?
"We couldn't get anything going and we didn't play as good as we're supposed to play."
-Jacobs. (NY Post)
"Jeff Garcia likes hot young quarterbacks."
-ESPN's MNF commentator Tony Kornheiser, getting very confused regarding Bucs head coach Jon Gruden's annual quarterback courtship rituals and quarterback Jeff Garcia's machinations of virile masculinity. (Pro Football Talk)
See a quote that needs to be in TWIQ? Hit us up. quotes - at - footballoutsiders.com
27 comments, Last at 19 Dec 2008, 3:08pm by JAZ