Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

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» Futures: UCLA QB Brett Hundley

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05 Dec 2008

The Week In Quotes: December 5, 2008

Compiled by Mark Zajack

LOOKING FOR FUN IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES

"I felt we were really into the game on both sides of the ball. And so (I was) looking for a lift."
-Raiders head coach Tom Cable, on why he called the fake field goal in which holder Shane Lechler flipped it backward between his legs in the direction of kicker Sebastian Janikowski.
"It's something we've worked on for two years. They were lined up exactly as we wanted."
-Cable.
"I don't think it was a big deal. Obviously the touchdown was a big deal, but the team continued to play."
-Cable.
"I think you have to have creativity. It certainly gives the players a chance to go out and execute something that's creative and have fun doing it."
-Cable.
"We do that in practice all the time, but I never knew it was a real thing that we were going to attempt."
-Raiders cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha. (Contra Costa Times)

HASLETT (HUGE MC SERCH FAN, I HEAR) SEES "THE GAS FACE"

"[Jackson] was gassed, and his leg started to bother him."
-Rams head coach Jim Haslett, explaining why running back Steven Jackson's final carry came with over 14 minutes left in the game.
"No, I wasn't gassed. I had 21 carries and felt great. So, it wasn't me and my conditioning. I wish (Haslett) would stop saying that."
-Jackson. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

ARE THE SKINS DUE? WHAT'S THE DUE DATE?

"I'm hurting. It's not as much pain, but it's a significant amount of swelling. I compare it to a pregnant woman's foot."
-Redskins linebacker London Fletcher, on why he was back in a boot to protect his injured left foot a day after he recorded a team-high 11 tackles in the Redskins' 23-7 loss to the Giants. (Washington Post)

DO WE TRAIN HIM ON A SLIP 'N SLIDE OR WET BANANA?

"He's probably the worst slider in the league."
-Redskins offensive lineman Randy Thomas, describing quarterback Jason Campbell's slide, debuted last week in Seattle.
"An implosion, almost."
-Redskins offensive lineman Pete Kendall.
"Oh, so embarrassed. Did you see it? Ok, enough said. That was SO bad. But anyway, we'll work on that. I'm gonna have renewed energy. I'm gonna put some new feeling into the way I coach him sliding."
-Redskins head coach Jim Zorn, on the failed results of his fabled slide teaching methods.
"He needs to work on it. Probably at home, on carpet, with some socks."
-Thomas. (Washington Post)

BENGAL FANS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES IN DISBELIEF

"I couldn’t believe he threw it. I was shocked he threw it."
-Ravens safety Jim Leonhard, on easily picking off Bengals quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick and returning it for a touchdown. (Star Telegram)

FIRST WE WIN. THEN WE WILL MAKE CHANGES THAT CAN HELP US WIN. GOT IT CINCINNATI BIZZARO FANS?

"I thought that was a good statement. No one down here is happy with what has happened and we all want to correct it badly. That was an indication he plans on correcting it."
-Bengals president Mike Brown, on head coach Marvin Lewis' post-game statement that fans won't be subject to a season this bad next year.
"He has them out there trying to the best of their abilities. At least in my eye. And on this point my eye counts."
-Brown, who did not specify which eye he had open.
"The answer to the general manager problem is the same answer that we have to have for all these criticisms. We have to win. When we manage to do that, we won't hear so much about that kind of talk."
-Brown, on his "logic" for not hiring a general manager.
"I've heard about the billboards. I don't rush out to pillory myself and look at them."
-Brown, on the WhoDeyRevolution billboards, which call for a general manager to be hired. (Bengals.com)

YOU DON'T HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD? YOU MIGHT AFTER THAT HIT

"It is a foul to hit with your helmet against a defenseless receiver. It is a foul to throw a forearm into the neck or head area of your opponent. I don't think either of those things happened. I'm not a fan of those high hits, but if you do it with your shoulder you're OK. ... You might have to factor in that it was deflected early and does that make it become late. But the actual hit itself is probably OK."
-NFL vice president of officiating Mike Pereira, on whether Steelers safety Ryan Clark's big hit on Patriots receiver Wes Welker was illegal.
"Did it look like I saw Clark coming?"
-Welker, when asked if he saw Clark coming. (ESPN.com)

GUN. SWEAT PANTS. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

"I don't got nothing to run from. Obviously, it was a tragic and very accidental situation that happened the other night."
-Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce, on the Plaxico Burress saga. (New York Post)
"Take me to the hospital."
-Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress, what a witness heard him say immediately after he shot himself. (New York Times)

FUNNY, NEVER PEGGED SAMURAI MIKE AS A "DIRTY DANCING" FAN

"I am having the time of my life."
-49ers head coach Mike Singletary, on his coaching duties. We didn't have him pegged as a Jets to Brazil fan, either.
"This is what I was born to do."
-Singletary.
"When you're playing, you had the bumps and bruises. Of course, when you're playing, you could go out there and do something about it. As a coach, you stand on the sideline and hopefully your work is done ... and hopefully they go out there and get it done the right way. They both have their pros and cons, and great sides to both, but I really love coaching."
-Singletary, comparing playing to coaching. (Mercury News)

A THESPIAN NAMED GUS? NEVER. A POET NAMED CHILLY? INDUBITABLY

"[Frerotte] was on his way back to the huddle. It was two, three, four steps after he released the ball."
-Vikings head coach Brad Childress, on the seemingly late hit on quarterback Gus Frerotte by Bears defensive end Adewale Ogunleye.
"He doesn't have a lot of flop in him,. Being a Thespian isn't in him."
-Childress, on Frerotte.
"Damn how rough the seas; did you bring the ship in?"
-Childress, the poet, on getting the win. (Minneapolis Star Tribune)

IMPRESSIVE, CONSIDERING THE REPORTER WAS FROM THE EASTER ISLAND TIMES

"I had a vodka as big as your head last night."
-Vikings head coach Brad Childress, on how he celebrated his team being in first place. (Star Tribune)

KEEP HITTING REFRESH VERNON, MAYBE THE SERVER IS SLOW

"You look at the sack total for yourself and you wish you had some."
-Jets rookie linebacker Vernon Gholston, on his current sack total, which upon last check was zero. (Star Ledger)

Have any quotes you think need to be here? Hit us up at quotes -at - footballoutsiders.com!

Posted by: Mark Zajack on 05 Dec 2008

17 comments, Last at 06 Dec 2008, 7:33pm by The Ninjalectual

Comments

1
by BucNasty :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 12:35pm

Why do you need a lift if you're already having such a great time? Say what you want about Sean Payton's wacky calls, but at least he runs them with athletes theoretically capable of pulling off the play. Besides, they've helped me tremendously.

2
by Key19 :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 1:18pm

This Week in Martellus:

"People break into peoples' houses all the time. Santa Claus just does it and he gets away with it."

"Tony Romo is my Santa Claus. He gives me gifts in the Red Zone."

-Bennett, on Santa/Romo. Does that imply that Tony also breaks into peoples' houses?

"I don't know, I only watched them briefly so far, so I gotta do a little more research. But I know they got a lot of great players on there, a lot of guys I like to play Madden with, like Polamalu and Farrior. So they're pretty good on Madden so I just imagine how good they are in real life."

-Bennett, on what makes the Steelers' defense so devastating.

"No. December's the best time of the year and it's Christmas. I think I bring the Christmas spirit to the team, so hopefully they all give me a gift."

-Bennett, on whether he's heard about the Cowboys' December struggles.

"It feels good, you know? I feel like the Lakers' three-peat. I feel like Kobe Bryant, who I can hold. A lot of people say I can't hold Kobe but I can hold Kobe."

-Bennett, on what he thought of his current three-game TD streak.

"I believe so, yeah, it's just kinda like when you go to work, you know, you write five bad stories, you know, they might put you on the Wednesday paper instead of the Sunday paper. So you just gotta kinda work your way up."

-Bennett, on if he had to earn his teammates' confidence on the practice field.

"Sometimes. I mean he always looks at me like 'ok...' Or we come to the sideline and I say 'hey, Romo, you know I was open on the backside?' and he'll be like 'yeah, I know' and I'm like 'you didn't know because you went through it!' But for the most part I always say something to him. He usually trips me when I'm coming out of the huddle, so I try and stay away from him when I'm walking out of the huddle."

-Bennett, on whether he tells Romo to get him the ball at times.

"Yeah, I talked a lot of trash publicly. I'd like to apologize to Mack Brown. I apologize. *looks at camera, gives a cheesy smile, and gives thumbs up* You got it, Mack!"

-Bennett, on whether he was disappointed by Texas A&M, his alma-mater, losing to Texas this year.

"Yeah, there's only one black Santa Claus, and that'd be me."

-Bennett, when asked about the immense responsibility of being THE Black Santa Claus.

4
by Jmagic (not verified) :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 1:33pm

Yes, we already had the best TE in the league. But anyone who thinks we shouldn't have drafted Bennett is the worst NFL fan there is. He's like old Clinton Portis redux, with more wit and less whimsy~

5
by Alex (not verified) :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 2:02pm

These quotes can't be real. Can't be.

6
by Temo :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 2:06pm

Between Bennett and Roy E. Williams, I look forward to many more such quotes. Apparently they're both super hero fans and obviously they got the A&M/Texas thing going.

I especially enjoyed seeing Martellus give the downwards "hook 'em horns" sign after he scored a TD. Priceless.

9
by Marcumzilla :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 3:15pm

Wow. Amazing finds there. Herm is really gonna have to step up if he wants to stay the top quote machine.

10
by justme_cd :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 3:35pm

I wish you had sources. Even if you made everything up it still made me laugh.

11
by Key19 :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 3:54pm

Sorry about not posting the source. I do have it though! Here:

http://www.dallascowboys.com/multimedia/multimedia_archives.cfm?cat=0

12/1 Martellus Bennett: Christmas Gifts

The Black Santa Quote is from the most recent Inside Excellence: Martellus Bennett clip.

EDIT: I found a direct link. If the video doesn't pop up right away just refresh I guess.

http://www.dallascowboys.com/multimedia/multimedia_center.cfm?id=F4B0A34...

12
by Phill O'sopher (not verified) :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 4:31pm

Awesomeness

Pure and total awesomeness

13
by Harris :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 5:06pm

He's got a point. A white man breaks into houses all over the world and he's the beloved Santa Claus. A black man does it, he gets locked away and you never hear about Jolly Jenkins.

"A little celery is always nice after a good pee."

17
by The Ninjalectual :: Sat, 12/06/2008 - 7:33pm

Breaking in and leaving toys is somewhat different than breaking in and leaving with them.

3
by Boston Dan :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 1:32pm

Speaking of the Gas Face, I have to say that the hip-hop content on XM has gone down the tubes since the channel lineup was revamped post merger. Some of my other favorite channels suck now too. Sirius owned the rights to all of the bad music?

7
by SonOfDad (not verified) :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 2:08pm

“I don’t have any weapons, unless you count a couple of Louisville Sluggers,” McNabb said. “If you come into my house, I’m going to turn into Barry Bonds on you.”

http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/giants/2008/12/coughlin-saddened-disapp...

8
by mrh :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 2:31pm

From Joe Posnanski's blog:

I have a special sympathy for television announcers who get stuck with terrible football games. This week’s unlucky duo was Bill Macatee and Steve Beuerlein, who got stuck announcing the Chiefs-Raiders game. And so Macatee gets special kudos for pulling of a great line … So now we move to action in the fourth quarter, when Macatee and Beuerlein were clearly punchy from watching so much mind-numbingly bad football. There was some promotion for David Letterman’s “Stupid Human Tricks.” Beuerlein said, “Do you do any stupid human tricks?” And Macatee muttered, so that only those listening carefully could hear it, “I can think of a fake field goal that could be on there.” Give that man a raise and a better game next week.

14
by Kachunk :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:08pm

I vote for a complete boycott of quotes where players refer to themselves in the second person. I thoroughly object to this practice. No Mr. Gholston, I don't wish I had some sacks. But I bet you wish YOU did.

15
by bubqr :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:17pm

Those Redskins guys are really funny, and Bennett is hilarious too... But I wish Roy Williams was back in his Year in Quotes form...

16
by Aloysius Mephistopheles (not verified) :: Fri, 12/05/2008 - 11:59pm

"Easter Island Times." Man, now I long for The Critic.