compiled by Mark Zajack

TWITTER ME SOME T.O.

"What about T.O.?"
-Bills quarterback Trent Edwards' text message, in its entirety, to general manager Russ Brandon, upon hearing T.O. had been released by the Cowboys.
"I don't really know him all that well. ... That's kind of what this offseason's going to entail — getting to know him and all the other receivers."
-Edwards. (Rochester Democrat & Chronicle)

STAY CLASSY, DREW

"[Owens] thanks the Cowboys organization for releasing him and adding to his bank account."
-T.O.'s agent Drew Rosenhaus, charming everyone in his path. (Dallas Morning News)

PAGING DOCTOR ROSENPENIS, UH, DOCTOR ROSENROSEN, UH, DOCTOR ROSENBLOOM

"As a Super Bowl champion and seven-time Pro Bowler, he has been a true professional and will always go down as one of the finest Rams of all time. We wish him, Carla and their children the very best as they move onto the next chapter of their football journey."
-Rams owner Chip Rosenbloom, on it being "the right time" to release offensive tackle Orlando Pace. (ESPN.com)
"To be honest, if the management had stayed the same, it would have been zero. There was no way I was coming back with management the way it was."
-Rams cornerback Ron Bartell, on the chance of him resigning with the team during free agency without a change in management.
"You just don't do great players like that. Everybody has that day. We all know we're going to be on the other side where we're released or they are going to move on, but there is a way you go about doing it. You are supposed to do it with class, especially when you are dealing with a class individual such as Ike."
-Bartell, on the terse memo that announced the release of wide receiver Isaac Bruce last year.
"Now it seems like everybody is on the same page and you have a direction. Whether or not that direction will lead to success, that remains to be seen, but at least you have everybody going the same exact way and know exactly what to expect."
-Bartell. (ESPN.com)

HAVE YOU SEEN A SAUROPOD RUN A BOOTLEG? NOT PRETTY

"This last year, the Chiefs kind of changed over to more of a college-style spread offense, running the pistol and bootlegs and all these fun things. Being the 36-year-old dinosaur that I am, I really didn't kind of fit that mold. I think this will be more of my style in San Francisco."
-49ers new quarterback signing Damon Huard, on the opportunity to get back to his bread and butter, handing-off the ball. (ESPN.com)

ONE DAY YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD, THE NEXT YOU'RE IN KANSAS CITY

"People ask me why I don’t have jerseys up, why I don’t have my rings out in my house and this is a perfect example why. Because one day you can go from being a three-time Super Bowl champ to being a member of the Chiefs."
-Chiefs new linebacker Mike Vrabel, trying to be humble, I think. (Boston Herald)

HE MADE YOU WAIT FORTY-FIVE MINUTES? I THINK YOU GET THE NEXT ONE FREE

"I told my wife probably 45 minutes into it that I just felt God say, ‘You're supposed to be in Arizona.'"
-Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner, on why he returned to Arizona.
(Deadspin.com)

STOP, OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN

"There's going to be a lot of problems if they try to trade me. Well, they've already tried to trade me, but if they trade me for sure."
-Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler, on the fallout after his failed trade.
(Detroit News)

SPERM BANK NEEDS A BAILOUT

"They’ve got my blood; I’ve got to deal with it."
-Former NFL running back Travis Henry, on paying $170,000 in child support for nine children with nine different women.
"I’ve lost everything in this mess I’ve gotten myself into."
-Henry, on being basically broke.
"I did use protection at first. Then they’d be saying they’d be on the pill. I was an idiot to trust them. Second or third time with them, I didn’t use it. Then, boom!"
-Henry.
"My counselor asks me, ‘How can you do the same thing over and over?’"
-Henry.
"Knock on wood, or something, I’m blessed not to have AIDS. That never crossed my mind."
-Henry. (New York Times)

WARNING: JET LAG CAN SPRAIN YOUR BONES

"We used to call it The Raven Flu. I think here we're gonna call it Jet Lag. It's not the first time that you play 'em - yeah, they'll start tippin' and things like that, but it's the second time you play 'em, and you look on the injury report, and they got a . . . hangnail . . . and they say, 'I don't think I can go, this hangnail, I think it's gonna get infected.' It's when guys remember what happened previously, and they know it's not worth it."
-Jets new linebacker Bart Scott, on instilling fear.
"Oh, the collisions are beautiful, man. It's car wrecks. And it's about our wills, man, and joints are shifted, bones are broke, bones are sprained, ligaments are hurt, and I think it's the most beautiful thing in the world. It's music to me."
-Scott.
"Sometimes it's tough, because I say things and I do things that I have to apologize for. Chester Taylor, I apologized to him, I did some things to him . . . I threw him on his neck when I didn't have to. . . . I could have let him down a little softer than I did, but I put the cherry on top."
-Scott.
"It's a big difference from being violent and really hitting somebody, it's another thing to be dirty. At the end of the day, you want people to go home to their family and realize that you want them to be able to earn a living."
-Scott. (New York Post)

Posted by: Mark Zajack on 13 Mar 2009

10 comments, Last at 16 Mar 2009, 12:42pm by MilkmanDanimal