Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

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» Impact of the NFL's Kickoff Rule Change

After three NFL seasons of kicking off from the 35-yard line, what has been the impact on touchbacks, returns, field position, scoring and injuries? Also, is this rule responsible for a record number of big comebacks?

07 Aug 2009

The Month In Quotes: July 2009

compiled by Rory Hickey

WATCH YOUR BACK ROBERT ATKINS

"I really got to be honest, it wasn't a lot of major diet changes. [It was] watching what I drink. I was a big Patron consumer ... That's what it was. I was drinking a lot, drank a lot of alcohol. I cut that out of my diet all the way. I don't drink at all. I cut the drinking, I stopped drinking for six months."

-- Titans RB LenDale White on his unusual weight loss tactics

"I made some people upset because they thought I'd be fat coming back, so it feels good."

-- White, referring to literally no one (NBC Sports)

...AND I'LL CURE CANCER

"I don't know when I'll start again. But I will be the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl. And I will be in the Hall of Fame."

-- Titans quarterback Vince Young (Esquire)

SUBTLETY ISN'T HIS SPECIALTY

"You Bet Your Sweet Ass I Hate the Steelers!"

-- Saying on shirt worn by Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs (Larry Brown Sports)

BLUE BOMBER FTW

"Hey, we had a little Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots out there."

-- Jets head coach Rex Ryan on a skirmish during practice

"People go in there and break up fights, but there's an art to doing it ... offensive players need to pull off defensive players, and vice versa."

-- Ryan

"The reason you do that is because your buddy can get another shot in on somebody. You don't want to pull off your guy and he gets hit. I mean, that's just the way it is."

-- Ryan (Sports Illustrated)

WNBA: YOU GOT NEXT

"I've always thought the game was an attractive game, but we all know when you get the kind of pressure we're in, in these economic times, and then you have an economic model that really doesn't work, then it's not surprising to see it stop play."

-- Dallas Cowboys and AFL team owner Jerry Jones discussing the demise of the Arena Football League (Sports Illustrated)

A BOGEY TO SAY THE LEAST

"Bryant, unfortunately, had a golf cart accident back in early July, it was something we were well aware of. We took a couple of trips down to Atlanta to see him. There are no orthopedic issues with it, a lot of superficial wounds, road rash and those kinds of things. We'll take our time ... with him."

-- Lions head coach Jim Schwartz on receiver Bryant Johnson having a golf cart mishap.

"In the community that I live in, everybody uses golf carts to get around. [The golf car] got out of control and it was on two wheels and it fell over. I was driving, and it fell over on my side. It slid about 10 yards. There was a hill, but it wasn't a steep hill.''

-- Johnson, describing the accident

"It really didn't hurt until the first time I tried to take a shower."

-- Johnson enlightening us. (MLive.com)

IF ONLY YOU HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME BILL BELICHICK MUMBLES CURSE WORDS UNDER HIS BREATH ABOUT YOU

"If I had a dollar for every time I've been asked that? I'd be ... richer."

-- Patriots RB Laurence Maroney, after being asked if he had something to prove this season. (NFL Nation Blog)

JEEZ, LAY OFF HIM, IT'S HIS NATURAL HAIR COLOR

"Why did I go blond? I just felt like doing something different. You know, I think even with that, from what I hear, now I'm gay? I don't think there's a woman in the United States of America that would say I'm gay. So, you know, I don't hang around men, I don't live a private life, there's constantly people around me. You know, I did it because that was something that I felt like doing. At the moment it was like, 'Ohhh, I want to do something weird and different,' and that's what I did, I dyed my hair blond. You know, it wasn't an attention seeker. I actually was out of the country, I left the country after I did it, so I wasn't even over here once I did it. So it was just an experiment."

-- Redskins running back Clinton Portis on why he dyed his hair blond (D.C. Sports Bog)

NORTH SIDE WHEN WE RIDE COME EQUIPPED WITH GAME

"I don't want to get him in trouble, but it wasn't what [the Bears] expected. Pretty much [Urlacher] said Jay Cutler was a pussy for the most part."

-- Vikings wide receiver Bobby Wade

"Oh, please. I don't think I would ever say that about one of my teammates. Look, Bobby Wade's a friend of mine. He's trying to get things going before training camp. That's just Bobby being Bobby. I'm pretty sure Jay knows I wouldn't say that about him."

-- Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher on Wade's comments

"To tell you the truth, I think it's just stupid," he said. "The radio stations that talk about it? I really don't [care] what they said. They are the pussies.

-- Urlacher (Chicago Tribune)

OR LIKE ASKING WHEN THE LAST TIME THE BILLS WERE RELEVENT

"Asking about an offensive lineman's weight is like asking a woman's age."

-- Bills offensive tackle Langston Walker, responding to a question asking if he had lost weight (Bills.com)

AT LEAST HE BLEW BOTH ON AND OFF THE FIELD

"Regularly, regularly, yeah I blew every day."

-- Former No. 2 draft pick Charles Rogers, revealing that he smoked marijuana every day while in the NFL

"But you know, I was doing something wrong. You can't smoke in the league, so I was wrong."

-- Rogers, for whom maybe the munchies were part of the problem as well (Detroit News)

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE THREE B'S

"You know what they say about the media, just use the five B's. Be brief, brother, be brief."

-- Redskins coach Jim Zorn giving his players advice on how to deal with the media (The Official Blog of Chris Cooley)

YES, IT'S CERTAINLY A DOGGY DOGG WORLD

"None of us woke up this morning saying Snoop was gonna break us down today."

-- Ravens RB Le'Ron McClain (NFL.com)

OK, A SIMPLE 'WRONG' WOULD'VE DONE JUST FINE

"It has been painful to watch tackle Mike Williams in pass protection since camp opened ... You don't need to be a player, scout or coach to know he doesn't belong on a football field right now in a competitive environment."

-- Washington Post contributor Jason Reid on lineman Mike Williams' attempted comeback (Washington Post)

BOLTMAN WAS UNDERSTANDABLY LESS ENTHUSED

"The whole team was excited to see Ed Hochuli there. As soon as I introduced him [to the players], there were big cheers."

-- Broncos coach Josh McDaniels speaking about Ed Hochuli, whose crew officiated the Broncos inter-squad scrimmage (Denver Post)

SOUNDS LIKE THE RAIDERS LOCKER ROOM AFTER EVERY GAME

"He had nowhere to go; I had nowhere to go. That's what you dream of. He's going to be on his back and I'm going to be up yelling. That's how it usually ends."

-- Raiders defensive back Mike Mitchell, about his massive hit on Gary Russell during practice (San Francisco Chronicle)

WHY DID THE GHOST GO TO THE BAR? FOR THE BOOS.

"BOOOOOO!!"

-- The crowd at Invesco Field in response to Kyle Orton's performance during the team's scrimmage (Colorado Springs Gazette)

COME ON BABY, YOU KNOW I WANNA TWEET YOU BACK, IT'S JUST MY BOSS

"Zzzzzz zzzzz zzz zzz (in meetings) lol.. Introducing the staff"

-- Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe

"My earlier tweet with the 'zzzzzzzz's' was concerning an administrative meeting and not a teammeeting"

-- Shiancoe, clearing up his earlier tweet (Twitter)

"Man we have 2 have the most nasty food of any team. Damn can we upgrade 4 str8 years the same ish maybe that's y we can't we the SB we need."

-- Chargers cornerback Antonio Cromartie on the food at Chargers training camp, a tweet for which he was fined $2,500 . (Examiner)

FIRST MATT MILLEN, NOW HIM TOO?

"Getting Rod Marinelli is one of the best things we've done since I've been here."

-- Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher speaking about the ex-Lions head coach and new Bears defensive line coach (ESPN)

I CAUGHT 25 BALLS A GAME WITH MYSELF IN SUPERSTAR MODE

"I understand I averaged 10 yards a catch, but it's the offense, not me. I'm not playing Madden no more until they get my rating right ... I used to be the best in the world at Madden. I'm going to miss not playing it, but until they do me right, I'm not playing it any more."

-- Seahawks wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh on his decision to boycott the Madden video game (NFC West Blog)

BIG PAPA PUMP COULD HELP MODERNIZE HIS PLAYLIST

"I got an iPod, but it's like Frank Sinatra and that stuff."

-- Dolphins coach Tony Sparano, on whether he had any music from partial team owners Gloria Estefan or Marc Anthony on his iPod (Dolphins.com)

SOMEONE ALERT JASON WHITLOCK

"I coached against him when I was in the National Football League, and he was out there just throwing the ball around and I was like, 'Holy smokes.' He looked like he did when I coached against him. He was throwing the ball on the money. He can throw all the balls. He looks about 25 years old, and I was very impressed with where he is right now."

-- Illinois head coach Ron Zook on 41-year-old Jeff George's workout video (Pro Football Talk)

SO IT LOOKED LIKE INFINITE JEST?

"It looked like a phonebook with a binder around it. I was like 'I know I'm in for a hurting right now.'"

-- Rookie Patriots defensive lineman Ron Brace on the size of the Patriots' playbook

"I'm getting a headache trying to read this, but I know I've got to do it. It's my job now. I don't have to worry about class. I have to worry about the playbook. That's my history right there I've got to learn."

-- Brace (NFL Nation Blog)

AND I DON'T LIKE THEM DRIVING GOLF CARTS EITHER

"If I find an author -- David Morrell, Mario Puzo, John Grisham or any guy I hear is good -- I'll read everything he did. I don't read books by women. I've tried to, but their perspective is different, so I stick with what I like."

-- Lions coach Jim Schwartz (The Detroit News)

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 07 Aug 2009

20 comments, Last at 12 Aug 2009, 8:33am by Temo

Comments

1
by Joe T. :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 10:34am

Vince Young in the Hall of Fame? Clearly he wasn't paying attention to his own performance last night.
I think he actually might be a worse QB than Michael Vick.

2
by Dean :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 10:34am

TWIQ on a Monday Morning? Outstanding! Nice way to ease into the week. Thanks, guys!

Oh yeah, and it might fly under the radar, but I liked the Langston Walker quote the best.

3
by buzzorhowl (not verified) :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 11:17am

Last year, it took me weeks to figure out that the new Dolphins coach was not named Tony Soprano. Now I'm thinking maybe I was right about his name after all.

4
by DrewTS (not verified) :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 11:31am

Introducing the staff? Coming from Shiancoe, I can only assume that's some sort of double entendre.

5
by Jimmy :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 11:35am

JEEZ, LAY OFF HIM, IT'S HIS NATURAL HAIR COLOR
"Why did I go blond? I just felt like doing something different. You know, I think even with that, from what I hear, now I'm gay? I don't think there's a woman in the United States of America that would say I'm gay. So, you know, I don't hang around men, I don't live a private life, there's constantly people around me. You know, I did it because that was something that I felt like doing. At the moment it was like, 'Ohhh, I want to do something weird and different,' and that's what I did, I dyed my hair blond. You know, it wasn't an attention seeker. I actually was out of the country, I left the country after I did it, so I wasn't even over here once I did it. So it was just an experiment."

-- Redskins running back Clinton Portis on why he dyed his hair blond (D.C. Sports Bog)

OK but if he starts shaving his legs and wearing eyeliner then he might be taking his experiment a little far.

13
by Mr Shush :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 6:04pm

"I don't think there's a woman in the United States of America that would say I'm gay . . . it was just an experiment"

Clinton Portis was never confused.

6
by Theo :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 12:22pm

No, Vince Young, you will NOT be in the Hall of Fame. And you won't win a Super Bowl either.

7
by JasonK :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 12:32pm

IIRC, this is the second David Foster Wallace joke I've seen in a FO Quotes column. There aren't a whole lot of football websites that can get away with that sort of thing. Bravo.

8
by Red Rum (not verified) :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 1:04pm

A David Foster Wallace reference and a Tupac reference in the same piece. That's pretty amazing in and of itself.

9
by MJK :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 1:28pm

My favorite (albeit somewhat rambling) funny quote from the past month was not included above. Too bad...I was looking forward to seeing how the Outsiders would mock it. It's a classic example of Belispeak when he was being harassed by all those Vick rumors (note: I don't understand why all the speculative media was going on and on about Vick to the Patriots when there was never one single shred of verifiable fact that indicated that the New England had the slightest bit of interest).

When asked if he had ruled out a Vick signing:
Have we ruled it out? I don't know that it's ruled in or ruled out. I'm not not answering your question. I'm saying I don't think it's ever been put that way, so I can't really answer that

The reporter then asked if he was interested in Vick (really the same question, just asked in different words):
You know I think we would consider ... we're coaching the players that we have on the field right now, so that's who is here. So, anybody who isn't here is there potential that they could be here? Yeah, there probably is. But right now they're not.

We're coaching the 80 players that are here, so until we get somebody else we're coaching them. When we get somebody else in here, which I'm sure at some point we will, then we'll coach them and the players that are here. Who that's going to be? Right now, it's the 80 players who are here. That's all I can tell you.

Obviously not daunted by this impressive display of double speak (translation: I'm not going to answer your question, so could we dispense with these stupid rumors and talk football), another reporter again asked if Belichick was ruling out Vick:

I'm coaching the players that are here that are on this team. That's what we do. I'm not coaching anybody else. I'm sure at some point somebody else will be here. I don't know who that is going to be. If I knew, they'd already be here.

10
by theprophecy :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 1:29pm

RelevAnt.

Just sayin'

11
by brick (not verified) :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 2:14pm

All you haters need to stop bashing Vince Young, he was in the HOF Saturday, when Jeff Fisher took the team on a tour, so GFY.

(Oh, he meant that he would have a bust and get a yellow jacket, nevermind)

12
by Temo :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 2:25pm

I understand I averaged 10 yards a catch, but it's the offense, not me.

Housh throws in his endorsement for Barnwell's Receiver +/- research.

14
by Wait, what? (not verified) :: Mon, 08/10/2009 - 10:47pm

I love me some Ryan family quotes, yes I do. I'm really going to miss "The Week in Herm" this year, though.

16
by socctty :: Tue, 08/11/2009 - 6:28am

I saw Herm and Matt Millen on NFL Live the other day. Matt Millen started to talk about how Devin Hester needed to develop as a received, seemed to catch himself violating some sort of agreement he had with ESPN, and then changed the subject to something else Bears-related.

I hope they keep that group together. This Week in Herm can live on.

15
by lobolafcadio :: Tue, 08/11/2009 - 3:42am

Mr White, please meet Mr Punk.

17
by Harris :: Tue, 08/11/2009 - 9:07am

Isn't standing in a field throwing passes to uncovered receivers the easiest thing a QB ever does? I can find a fourth-string freshman at every DI school in the country who would look great doing that. Hell, a particularly fit 41-year-old former high school QB who graduated from the Warton School and now works on Wall Street can probably do that.

Hail Hydra!

18
by Keegs :: Tue, 08/11/2009 - 10:54am

Charles Rogers = Hal Incandenza?

19
by c_f (not verified) :: Tue, 08/11/2009 - 9:45pm

Whitlock actually did write an article on Jeff George after the workout tape was released. Of course, it was the same stuff he's been saying so there's no point in reading it.

20
by Temo :: Wed, 08/12/2009 - 8:33am

Wouldn't it be funny if Whitlock was right all along? If Jeff George was actually a great underexploited talent just waiting to take a team to the promised land?

It's too bad Gruden doesn't have a job anymore; we'll never find out for sure now.