This week's DVOA commentary is all about worsts. Come find out where Washington stands among the worst special teams in DVOA history, whether San Diego has the biggest gap between offense and defense, and whether Baltimore or Jacksonville has the worst running game we've ever tracked.
07 Aug 2009
compiled by Rory Hickey
"I really got to be honest, it wasn't a lot of major diet changes. [It was] watching what I drink. I was a big Patron consumer ... That's what it was. I was drinking a lot, drank a lot of alcohol. I cut that out of my diet all the way. I don't drink at all. I cut the drinking, I stopped drinking for six months."
-- Titans RB LenDale White on his unusual weight loss tactics
"I made some people upset because they thought I'd be fat coming back, so it feels good."
-- White, referring to literally no one (NBC Sports)
"I don't know when I'll start again. But I will be the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl. And I will be in the Hall of Fame."
-- Titans quarterback Vince Young (Esquire)
"You Bet Your Sweet Ass I Hate the Steelers!"
-- Saying on shirt worn by Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs (Larry Brown Sports)
"Hey, we had a little Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots out there."
-- Jets head coach Rex Ryan on a skirmish during practice
"People go in there and break up fights, but there's an art to doing it ... offensive players need to pull off defensive players, and vice versa."
"The reason you do that is because your buddy can get another shot in on somebody. You don't want to pull off your guy and he gets hit. I mean, that's just the way it is."
-- Ryan (Sports Illustrated)
"I've always thought the game was an attractive game, but we all know when you get the kind of pressure we're in, in these economic times, and then you have an economic model that really doesn't work, then it's not surprising to see it stop play."
-- Dallas Cowboys and AFL team owner Jerry Jones discussing the demise of the Arena Football League (Sports Illustrated)
"Bryant, unfortunately, had a golf cart accident back in early July, it was something we were well aware of. We took a couple of trips down to Atlanta to see him. There are no orthopedic issues with it, a lot of superficial wounds, road rash and those kinds of things. We'll take our time ... with him."
-- Lions head coach Jim Schwartz on receiver Bryant Johnson having a golf cart mishap.
"In the community that I live in, everybody uses golf carts to get around. [The golf car] got out of control and it was on two wheels and it fell over. I was driving, and it fell over on my side. It slid about 10 yards. There was a hill, but it wasn't a steep hill.''
-- Johnson, describing the accident
"It really didn't hurt until the first time I tried to take a shower."
-- Johnson enlightening us. (MLive.com)
"If I had a dollar for every time I've been asked that? I'd be ... richer."
-- Patriots RB Laurence Maroney, after being asked if he had something to prove this season. (NFL Nation Blog)
"Why did I go blond? I just felt like doing something different. You know, I think even with that, from what I hear, now I'm gay? I don't think there's a woman in the United States of America that would say I'm gay. So, you know, I don't hang around men, I don't live a private life, there's constantly people around me. You know, I did it because that was something that I felt like doing. At the moment it was like, 'Ohhh, I want to do something weird and different,' and that's what I did, I dyed my hair blond. You know, it wasn't an attention seeker. I actually was out of the country, I left the country after I did it, so I wasn't even over here once I did it. So it was just an experiment."
-- Redskins running back Clinton Portis on why he dyed his hair blond (D.C. Sports Bog)
"I don't want to get him in trouble, but it wasn't what [the Bears] expected. Pretty much [Urlacher] said Jay Cutler was a pussy for the most part."
-- Vikings wide receiver Bobby Wade
"Oh, please. I don't think I would ever say that about one of my teammates. Look, Bobby Wade's a friend of mine. He's trying to get things going before training camp. That's just Bobby being Bobby. I'm pretty sure Jay knows I wouldn't say that about him."
-- Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher on Wade's comments
"To tell you the truth, I think it's just stupid," he said. "The radio stations that talk about it? I really don't [care] what they said. They are the pussies.
-- Urlacher (Chicago Tribune)
"Asking about an offensive lineman's weight is like asking a woman's age."
-- Bills offensive tackle Langston Walker, responding to a question asking if he had lost weight (Bills.com)
"Regularly, regularly, yeah I blew every day."
-- Former No. 2 draft pick Charles Rogers, revealing that he smoked marijuana every day while in the NFL
"But you know, I was doing something wrong. You can't smoke in the league, so I was wrong."
-- Rogers, for whom maybe the munchies were part of the problem as well (Detroit News)
"You know what they say about the media, just use the five B's. Be brief, brother, be brief."
-- Redskins coach Jim Zorn giving his players advice on how to deal with the media (The Official Blog of Chris Cooley)
"None of us woke up this morning saying Snoop was gonna break us down today."
-- Ravens RB Le'Ron McClain (NFL.com)
"It has been painful to watch tackle Mike Williams in pass protection since camp opened ... You don't need to be a player, scout or coach to know he doesn't belong on a football field right now in a competitive environment."
"The whole team was excited to see Ed Hochuli there. As soon as I introduced him [to the players], there were big cheers."
-- Broncos coach Josh McDaniels speaking about Ed Hochuli, whose crew officiated the Broncos inter-squad scrimmage (Denver Post)
"He had nowhere to go; I had nowhere to go. That's what you dream of. He's going to be on his back and I'm going to be up yelling. That's how it usually ends."
"Zzzzzz zzzzz zzz zzz (in meetings) lol.. Introducing the staff"
-- Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe
"My earlier tweet with the 'zzzzzzzz's' was concerning an administrative meeting and not a teammeeting"
-- Shiancoe, clearing up his earlier tweet (Twitter)
"Man we have 2 have the most nasty food of any team. Damn can we upgrade 4 str8 years the same ish maybe that's y we can't we the SB we need."
-- Chargers cornerback Antonio Cromartie on the food at Chargers training camp, a tweet for which he was fined $2,500 . (Examiner)
"Getting Rod Marinelli is one of the best things we've done since I've been here."
-- Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher speaking about the ex-Lions head coach and new Bears defensive line coach (ESPN)
"I understand I averaged 10 yards a catch, but it's the offense, not me. I'm not playing Madden no more until they get my rating right ... I used to be the best in the world at Madden. I'm going to miss not playing it, but until they do me right, I'm not playing it any more."
-- Seahawks wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh on his decision to boycott the Madden video game (NFC West Blog)
"I got an iPod, but it's like Frank Sinatra and that stuff."
-- Dolphins coach Tony Sparano, on whether he had any music from partial team owners Gloria Estefan or Marc Anthony on his iPod (Dolphins.com)
"I coached against him when I was in the National Football League, and he was out there just throwing the ball around and I was like, 'Holy smokes.' He looked like he did when I coached against him. He was throwing the ball on the money. He can throw all the balls. He looks about 25 years old, and I was very impressed with where he is right now."
-- Illinois head coach Ron Zook on 41-year-old Jeff George's workout video (Pro Football Talk)
"It looked like a phonebook with a binder around it. I was like 'I know I'm in for a hurting right now.'"
-- Rookie Patriots defensive lineman Ron Brace on the size of the Patriots' playbook
"I'm getting a headache trying to read this, but I know I've got to do it. It's my job now. I don't have to worry about class. I have to worry about the playbook. That's my history right there I've got to learn."
-- Brace (NFL Nation Blog)
"If I find an author -- David Morrell, Mario Puzo, John Grisham or any guy I hear is good -- I'll read everything he did. I don't read books by women. I've tried to, but their perspective is different, so I stick with what I like."
-- Lions coach Jim Schwartz (The Detroit News)
20 comments, Last at 12 Aug 2009, 8:33am by Temo