compiled by Rory Hickey

EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS(ES)

"My response would be that's a lot of conversation coming from a team that just lost another game."

"I have a lot of respect for Randy, I think he's one of our best players and I think if you watch other teams defend [Moss] and watch other teams play against him, they think the same way -- other than these two guys from Carolina after they lost another game. I guess they don't think that way. They haven't won a lot of games now."

-- Patriots coach Bill Belichick defending wide receiver Randy Moss when asked about critical comments made by Panthers defensive backs Chris Gamble and Chris Harris that Moss didn't give an all-out effort in Sunday's game. (ESPN Boston)

AT LEAST AN ACTUAL BEARCAT WASN’T LET LOOSE AT YOUR HOUSE

"Spent most of the morning on the phone with recruits. House got egged last night and the sign on the lawn wasn't a FOR SALE sign."

-- Newly hired Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly on the reaction of Bearcat fans to his leaving Cincinnati. (Twitter)

SEND A VOLLEY CHEER ON HIGH, SHAKE DOWN THE THUNDER FROM THE SKY!

"I'm fairly disgusted with the situation -- him letting it last this long. Everybody and their mamma knew what was going on. I feel like he did our team an injustice. Hopefully he'll pack his things up and get to South Bend in a hurry."

-- Cincinnati Bearcats wide receiver Marty Gilliard on former coach Brian Kelly's approach towards letting his former players know that he had accepted the Notre Dame coaching job. (Cincinnati.com)

WHAT, ME WORRY?

"Why would we be concerned? We're 13-0."

-- Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma on New Orleans' close win against the Falcons. (Sports Illustrated)

19 CATCHES AND A WIN SOUNDS FINE

"But at the end of the day, we have one goal. Our ultimate goal is to win games. I would definitely trade in a couple of those catches for a win anytime. So, yes, it is bittersweet."

-- Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall after breaking the NFL record with 21 catches in Sunday's loss to the Colts. (The Huddle)

IT’S ALMOST LIKE I BROKE MY OWN RECORD

"They always said that he was the 'Baby T.O.' All records are meant to be broken at some point. I wish him well."

-- Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens on Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall breaking his record for most catches in one game and somehow tying it in with himself. (BuffaloNews.com)

NICK FOLK ... YOU’RE ON NOTICE

"I don't believe we've got a holder problem. So the bottom line is, shoot, we need to make our field goals."

-- Cowboys owner/GM/czar Jerry Jones after Sunday's loss to the Chargers, in which kicker Nick Folk missed a 42-yard field goal in a 20-17 loss. Folk has missed six of his last ten field goals. (ESPN Dallas)

THE COWBOYS ONLY HAVE AN ELEVEN MONTH LEASE ON THE FILM PROJECTOR

"'He's not getting paid to block. We knew it was going to be a flip or a dive. I don't even know what they were thinking. I don't know if they watch film or what."

-- Chargers linebacker Tim Dobbins on the Cowboys' goal-line play calling, in which Marion Barber got the ball three times in a row from the one-yard line and was stopped each time. (The Morning Call)

DESEAN JACKSON IS JUST BETTER THAN THE GIANTS AT FOOTBALL

"That return was disgusting."

-- Eagles tight end Brent Celek on teammate DeSean Jackson's 72-yard punt return touchdown in which he looked to pinned against the sideline but then turned his NOS on. (NFL Nation Blog)

SO YOU WOULD RATHER POTENTIALLY HAVE GARRETT HARTLEY’S CAREER THAN YOURS?

"I would turn in all three Super Bowl rings and my Hall of Fame bust for one undefeated season."

-- Former Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin on the potential of the Colts or Saints going undefeated. (Dallas Morning News)

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HOW MUCH THEY WOULD HAVE LOST BY IF THEY WEREN'T READY TO PLAY

"I thought that in preparation, [Saturday] in meetings and [Sunday] in pregame, everyone was ready to play. I was way off the mark there."

-- Lions coach Jim Schwartz on the team's preparation for its 48-3 loss to the Ravens. (Baltimore Sun)

I THINK THE SIXTH PLAYOFF TIEBREAKER IS UGLY VICTORIES

"I don't see any ugly in victory. All victories are pretty to me."

-- Interim Bills coach Perry Fewell on his team's 16-10 win over the Chiefs. (Buffalo News)

COSMO SPACELY WOULDN’T APPRECIATE TARDINESS

"I could have been in the ditch. They really don't give a damn, honestly. As long as you ain't in the meeting they really don't give a (expletive)."

"What do you do? It's not the Jetsons, I can't jump up and just fly. What the heck am I supposed to do?"

-- Patriots linebacker Adalius Thomas on being late to an 8 a.m. team meeting and subsequently being sent home. Thomas was benched for Sunday's game against the Panthers. (ESPN Boston)

MARVIN LEWIS 1, OCHOCINCO 0

"I'm going to steal [the large Viking horn] from what's-his-name? Ragnar? You better give it to me. If he doesn't give it to me, I'm going to MMA him."

-- Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco on what he planned to do if he scored a touchdown against the Vikings. (Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

"He might want to think twice about taking my bike. I poop things bigger than him."

-- Minnesota Vikings mascot Ragnar when told that Ochocinco also planned to steal his motorcycle.

"I'm not worried. His useless banter really doesn't amount to much at all."

-- Bengals coach Marvin Lewis, when asked if the rants of Ochocinco concern him. (Monday Morning QB)

AKERS IS FINKEL ... FINKEL IS AKERS!

"Einhorn's a man!"

-- Eagles long snapper Jon Dorenbos after kicker David Akers nailed a 55-yard field goal during practice. (Twitter)

OH CONTRACT YEAR T.O., YOU ARE SO CHARMING!

"When you've got some good looks like myself, you've got to take full advantage of it."

-- Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens explaining why he decided to sign on with Wilhelmina Models. (WCCO.com)

COMING FROM THE STAR OF "BROTHERS," IS THAT REALLY A VALID OPINION?

"I like Flozell as a guy, but I think on the field right now he's just being an idiot."

-- FOX analyst Michael Strahan on Cowboys offensive tackle Flozell Adams and in particular his repeated run-ins with Giants defensive end Justin Tuck. (Sports Media Blog)

I CAN’T FIND HOW MANY REPS OF 225 LBS KREUTZ CAN DO SO CLEARLY RAJI IS STRONGER

"It's nothing physical, it's all technical. I'm stronger than the guy. I mean, that's not really talking sh*t."

-- Packers nose tackle B.J. Raji on Bears center Olin Kreutz prior to their matchup in Sunday’s game. In case you were wondering, Raji did 33 reps of the 225 pound bench press at the NFL combine in April. (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

"Is that his expertise after [ten] games in the NFL?"

-- Kreutz's response to Raji’s comments. (Honolulu Advertiser)

YOU WERE GREAT AFTER THE FIRST EIGHT WORDS AND THEN IT WENT DOWNHILL

"I think I need to just stop complaining about that because it's obvious that, that crew ... The NFL, Mike Pereira, you need to really see about what's going on in that back end. Goodell, you can fine me if you want to, but it's getting ridiculous with the amount of calls."

-- Ravens wide receiver Derrick Mason. (NFL.com)

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF THE FROZEN TUNDRA THAT WAY

"To be honest with you, it was just Lambeau Field. I didn't see anything special. They put us in the middle of nowhere and it's not a real exciting place. Everything about this place is terrible, to be honest with you."

-- Ravens running back Ray Rice on the city of Green Bay. Rice later apologized for his comments. (OnMilwaukee.com)

ONLY IF I CAN TOUCH YOUR MULLET

"I'm asking you, I'm begging the people of Minnesota. Buy up these tickets. Spend a little cashish. We just had Christmas, [you] probably got a little Christmas bonus. Go buy some tickets."

-- Vikings defensive end Jared Allen pleading with Minnesota residents to purchase playoff tickets and spend something called "cashish." (Pro Football Talk)

WHAT I WOULDN'T PAY TO HAVE TIM TEBOW COMMIT SOME SORT OF FELONIOUS CRIME

"He's a great Floridian. He's much more a great human being than he is a quarterback in my humble opinion."

-- Florida governor Charlie Crist, urging the Jaguars should draft Gators quarterback Tim Tebow. (Jacksonville.com)

IF DALLAS COLLAPSES AGAIN, SCHAEFER COULD BE GETTING FUTURE OFFERS IN WADE PHILLIPS' BLOOD

"I just added toner to the fax machine and had it serviced right before I left Friday. So keep those offers coming."

-- CEO of Golden Boy Promotions Richard Schaefer on Cowboys owner Jerry Jones' $25 million offer to have the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight at Cowboys’ Stadium. (Los Angeles Times)

A BLIGHT? TRUE SAYS SNEE!

"I'm always limited, I’m a limited athlete."

-- Giants right guard Chris Snee, when told by reporters that coach Tom Coughlin said that Snee was limited in practice because of a knee injury. (NorthJersey.com)

IT’S ACTUALLY HOLIDAY TIME

"It's Christmas time and I don't want to be giving away free money."

-- Eagles safety Quintin Demps on being fined $12,500 for his two personal foul penalties in the December 6 game against Atlanta. (Philly.com)

HE TOOK THE PHRASE "IF YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH WHY DON’T YOU JUST MARRY IT" A BIT TOO LITERALLY

"It's more than love. It's, like, I almost just want to be married to it."

-- Packers tight end JerMichael Finley on how much he likes his role on the Packers' offense. (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

HE SHOULD BE BEATEN UP FOR HIS WARDROBE

"The first thing I would do if I get back on the golf course, I would go looking for Jesper Parnevik and I would beat his ass ... There is a line that you don’t cross over. Not as another player because you don’t know do that."

-- Former Giants great Lawrence Taylor on what Tiger Woods should do when he gets back on the golf course.

"I don't care! He introduced his nanny to Tiger? We have all had nannies."

-- LT when told by the host that Parnevik was the one that introduced them. (Sports Radio Interviews)

LIONS AND TIGER, OH MY

"I don't see the big deal about it. The president cheated on his wife. We're all human. Human beings are the only ones that have just one partner. You watch National Geographic and the lions, they have like five or six partners. The human race is the only being that is monogamous with partners."

-- Seahawks wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh weighing in on the Tiger Woods saga. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

It’s the holiday season. I know I’m pretty difficult to shop for, so all I want from you is a quote to make my life easier. Send it quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com
(No quotes more expensive than ten dollars).

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 15 Dec 2009

65 comments, Last at 20 Dec 2009, 12:19am by zlionsfan