Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

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» Varsity Numbers: Honing in

Bill Connelly again looks at which college football teams the F/+ ratings are sure about, and which teams remain a mystery (led by Appalachian State).

15 Dec 2009

The Week in Quotes: December 15, 2009

compiled by Rory Hickey

EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS(ES)

"My response would be that's a lot of conversation coming from a team that just lost another game."

"I have a lot of respect for Randy, I think he's one of our best players and I think if you watch other teams defend [Moss] and watch other teams play against him, they think the same way -- other than these two guys from Carolina after they lost another game. I guess they don't think that way. They haven't won a lot of games now."

-- Patriots coach Bill Belichick defending wide receiver Randy Moss when asked about critical comments made by Panthers defensive backs Chris Gamble and Chris Harris that Moss didn't give an all-out effort in Sunday's game. (ESPN Boston)

AT LEAST AN ACTUAL BEARCAT WASN’T LET LOOSE AT YOUR HOUSE

"Spent most of the morning on the phone with recruits. House got egged last night and the sign on the lawn wasn't a FOR SALE sign."

-- Newly hired Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly on the reaction of Bearcat fans to his leaving Cincinnati. (Twitter)

SEND A VOLLEY CHEER ON HIGH, SHAKE DOWN THE THUNDER FROM THE SKY!

"I'm fairly disgusted with the situation -- him letting it last this long. Everybody and their mamma knew what was going on. I feel like he did our team an injustice. Hopefully he'll pack his things up and get to South Bend in a hurry."

-- Cincinnati Bearcats wide receiver Marty Gilliard on former coach Brian Kelly's approach towards letting his former players know that he had accepted the Notre Dame coaching job. (Cincinnati.com)

WHAT, ME WORRY?

"Why would we be concerned? We're 13-0."

-- Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma on New Orleans' close win against the Falcons. (Sports Illustrated)

19 CATCHES AND A WIN SOUNDS FINE

"But at the end of the day, we have one goal. Our ultimate goal is to win games. I would definitely trade in a couple of those catches for a win anytime. So, yes, it is bittersweet."

-- Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall after breaking the NFL record with 21 catches in Sunday's loss to the Colts. (The Huddle)

IT’S ALMOST LIKE I BROKE MY OWN RECORD

"They always said that he was the 'Baby T.O.' All records are meant to be broken at some point. I wish him well."

-- Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens on Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall breaking his record for most catches in one game and somehow tying it in with himself. (BuffaloNews.com)

NICK FOLK ... YOU’RE ON NOTICE

"I don't believe we've got a holder problem. So the bottom line is, shoot, we need to make our field goals."

-- Cowboys owner/GM/czar Jerry Jones after Sunday's loss to the Chargers, in which kicker Nick Folk missed a 42-yard field goal in a 20-17 loss. Folk has missed six of his last ten field goals. (ESPN Dallas)

THE COWBOYS ONLY HAVE AN ELEVEN MONTH LEASE ON THE FILM PROJECTOR

"'He's not getting paid to block. We knew it was going to be a flip or a dive. I don't even know what they were thinking. I don't know if they watch film or what."

-- Chargers linebacker Tim Dobbins on the Cowboys' goal-line play calling, in which Marion Barber got the ball three times in a row from the one-yard line and was stopped each time. (The Morning Call)

DESEAN JACKSON IS JUST BETTER THAN THE GIANTS AT FOOTBALL

"That return was disgusting."

-- Eagles tight end Brent Celek on teammate DeSean Jackson's 72-yard punt return touchdown in which he looked to pinned against the sideline but then turned his NOS on. (NFL Nation Blog)

SO YOU WOULD RATHER POTENTIALLY HAVE GARRETT HARTLEY’S CAREER THAN YOURS?

"I would turn in all three Super Bowl rings and my Hall of Fame bust for one undefeated season."

-- Former Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin on the potential of the Colts or Saints going undefeated. (Dallas Morning News)

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HOW MUCH THEY WOULD HAVE LOST BY IF THEY WEREN'T READY TO PLAY

"I thought that in preparation, [Saturday] in meetings and [Sunday] in pregame, everyone was ready to play. I was way off the mark there."

-- Lions coach Jim Schwartz on the team's preparation for its 48-3 loss to the Ravens. (Baltimore Sun)

I THINK THE SIXTH PLAYOFF TIEBREAKER IS UGLY VICTORIES

"I don't see any ugly in victory. All victories are pretty to me."

-- Interim Bills coach Perry Fewell on his team's 16-10 win over the Chiefs. (Buffalo News)

COSMO SPACELY WOULDN’T APPRECIATE TARDINESS

"I could have been in the ditch. They really don't give a damn, honestly. As long as you ain't in the meeting they really don't give a (expletive)."

"What do you do? It's not the Jetsons, I can't jump up and just fly. What the heck am I supposed to do?"

-- Patriots linebacker Adalius Thomas on being late to an 8 a.m. team meeting and subsequently being sent home. Thomas was benched for Sunday's game against the Panthers. (ESPN Boston)

MARVIN LEWIS 1, OCHOCINCO 0

"I'm going to steal [the large Viking horn] from what's-his-name? Ragnar? You better give it to me. If he doesn't give it to me, I'm going to MMA him."

-- Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco on what he planned to do if he scored a touchdown against the Vikings. (Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

"He might want to think twice about taking my bike. I poop things bigger than him."

-- Minnesota Vikings mascot Ragnar when told that Ochocinco also planned to steal his motorcycle.

"I'm not worried. His useless banter really doesn't amount to much at all."

-- Bengals coach Marvin Lewis, when asked if the rants of Ochocinco concern him. (Monday Morning QB)

AKERS IS FINKEL ... FINKEL IS AKERS!

"Einhorn's a man!"

-- Eagles long snapper Jon Dorenbos after kicker David Akers nailed a 55-yard field goal during practice. (Twitter)

OH CONTRACT YEAR T.O., YOU ARE SO CHARMING!

"When you've got some good looks like myself, you've got to take full advantage of it."

-- Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens explaining why he decided to sign on with Wilhelmina Models. (WCCO.com)

COMING FROM THE STAR OF "BROTHERS," IS THAT REALLY A VALID OPINION?

"I like Flozell as a guy, but I think on the field right now he's just being an idiot."

-- FOX analyst Michael Strahan on Cowboys offensive tackle Flozell Adams and in particular his repeated run-ins with Giants defensive end Justin Tuck. (Sports Media Blog)

I CAN’T FIND HOW MANY REPS OF 225 LBS KREUTZ CAN DO SO CLEARLY RAJI IS STRONGER

"It's nothing physical, it's all technical. I'm stronger than the guy. I mean, that's not really talking sh*t."

-- Packers nose tackle B.J. Raji on Bears center Olin Kreutz prior to their matchup in Sunday’s game. In case you were wondering, Raji did 33 reps of the 225 pound bench press at the NFL combine in April. (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

"Is that his expertise after [ten] games in the NFL?"

-- Kreutz's response to Raji’s comments. (Honolulu Advertiser)

YOU WERE GREAT AFTER THE FIRST EIGHT WORDS AND THEN IT WENT DOWNHILL

"I think I need to just stop complaining about that because it's obvious that, that crew ... The NFL, Mike Pereira, you need to really see about what's going on in that back end. Goodell, you can fine me if you want to, but it's getting ridiculous with the amount of calls."

-- Ravens wide receiver Derrick Mason. (NFL.com)

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF THE FROZEN TUNDRA THAT WAY

"To be honest with you, it was just Lambeau Field. I didn't see anything special. They put us in the middle of nowhere and it's not a real exciting place. Everything about this place is terrible, to be honest with you."

-- Ravens running back Ray Rice on the city of Green Bay. Rice later apologized for his comments. (OnMilwaukee.com)

ONLY IF I CAN TOUCH YOUR MULLET

"I'm asking you, I'm begging the people of Minnesota. Buy up these tickets. Spend a little cashish. We just had Christmas, [you] probably got a little Christmas bonus. Go buy some tickets."

-- Vikings defensive end Jared Allen pleading with Minnesota residents to purchase playoff tickets and spend something called "cashish." (Pro Football Talk)

WHAT I WOULDN'T PAY TO HAVE TIM TEBOW COMMIT SOME SORT OF FELONIOUS CRIME

"He's a great Floridian. He's much more a great human being than he is a quarterback in my humble opinion."

-- Florida governor Charlie Crist, urging the Jaguars should draft Gators quarterback Tim Tebow. (Jacksonville.com)

IF DALLAS COLLAPSES AGAIN, SCHAEFER COULD BE GETTING FUTURE OFFERS IN WADE PHILLIPS' BLOOD

"I just added toner to the fax machine and had it serviced right before I left Friday. So keep those offers coming."

-- CEO of Golden Boy Promotions Richard Schaefer on Cowboys owner Jerry Jones' $25 million offer to have the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight at Cowboys’ Stadium. (Los Angeles Times)

A BLIGHT? TRUE SAYS SNEE!

"I'm always limited, I’m a limited athlete."

-- Giants right guard Chris Snee, when told by reporters that coach Tom Coughlin said that Snee was limited in practice because of a knee injury. (NorthJersey.com)

IT’S ACTUALLY HOLIDAY TIME

"It's Christmas time and I don't want to be giving away free money."

-- Eagles safety Quintin Demps on being fined $12,500 for his two personal foul penalties in the December 6 game against Atlanta. (Philly.com)

HE TOOK THE PHRASE "IF YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH WHY DON’T YOU JUST MARRY IT" A BIT TOO LITERALLY

"It's more than love. It's, like, I almost just want to be married to it."

-- Packers tight end JerMichael Finley on how much he likes his role on the Packers' offense. (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

HE SHOULD BE BEATEN UP FOR HIS WARDROBE

"The first thing I would do if I get back on the golf course, I would go looking for Jesper Parnevik and I would beat his ass ... There is a line that you don’t cross over. Not as another player because you don’t know do that."

-- Former Giants great Lawrence Taylor on what Tiger Woods should do when he gets back on the golf course.

"I don't care! He introduced his nanny to Tiger? We have all had nannies."

-- LT when told by the host that Parnevik was the one that introduced them. (Sports Radio Interviews)

LIONS AND TIGER, OH MY

"I don't see the big deal about it. The president cheated on his wife. We're all human. Human beings are the only ones that have just one partner. You watch National Geographic and the lions, they have like five or six partners. The human race is the only being that is monogamous with partners."

-- Seahawks wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh weighing in on the Tiger Woods saga. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

It’s the holiday season. I know I’m pretty difficult to shop for, so all I want from you is a quote to make my life easier. Send it quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com
(No quotes more expensive than ten dollars).

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 15 Dec 2009

65 comments, Last at 20 Dec 2009, 12:19am by zlionsfan

Comments

1
by goodhit (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:49am

Maybe it's because of the holidays, but this was an exceptional week for quotes.

2
by BucNasty :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:51am

I could have been in the ditch. They really don't give a damn, honestly. As long as you ain't in the meeting they really don't give a (expletive).

Oh, come on AD, I thought you loved the atmosphere in New England.

3
by Brent Hutto (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:53am

JerMichael Finley missed a chance to crib from the funniest show on television...

"I love it so much I want to take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant."

from "30 Rock"

52
by The Guy You Don't Want to Hear (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 5:55pm

There's a funny show on television?

Sorry--I couldn't resist saying it.

4
by BucNasty :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:58am

What do you do? It's not the Jetsons, I can't jump up and just fly. What the heck am I supposed to do?

This was awesome, too. "How can you expect me to show up for my job on time?" I don't know, man, why don't you ask the 48 guys who made it how they did it despite not having flying cars. But hey, you're only getting paid in the millions. That's not worth sacrificing a little sleep over.

13
by Paul R :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:27am

It should be noted that this may be the perfect, catch-all excuse. I wish I'd thought of it ages ago.
I, for example, have not washed out my coffee cup this morning because this is not The Jetsons, dammit! What the heck am I supposed to do?

5
by andrew :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:05am

What does NOS stand for?

7
by Joe T. :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:11am

Nitrous Oxide System - you know, from all those really bad street racing movies when the main character is falling behind, he thumbs open the valve on a little fire-extinguisher looking thingy sitting next to him and the car takes off.

10
by Jeremiah (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:18am

Nitrous Oxide

12
by White Rose Duelist :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:22am

[post revelaing my ignorance deleted]

17
by Paul R :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:32am

...and checked for spelling? :)

27
by Dean :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:04pm

I'm glad I wasn't the only one wondering.

Is that the stuff that makes the souped up little hatchbacks sound like really loud lawnmowers?

28
by BucNasty :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:08pm

No, you can achieve that just by changing the muffler.

59
by Podge (not verified) :: Wed, 12/16/2009 - 5:31am

I refuse to believe that people haven't watched the classic slice of cinema that is The Fast and The Furious.

60
by andrew :: Wed, 12/16/2009 - 9:04am

The only one I saw was the last one, and that because I was a captive audience.

I mean are they on the level of racing classics of the past like The Road Warrior, Cannonball Run or Deathrace 2000?

6
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:10am

Bill Belichick becomes the latest NFL coach who attempts to earn a Phd in psychology by successfully treating the unique patient known as Randy Moss. For all his other shortcomings, Mike Tice wasn't bad at the task.

14
by jmaron :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:27am

I think he did a very good job considering the mess that was Minnesota in those years.

When he was in Minnesota I often felt he had good reason to question what was going on. That his seemingly selfish behaviour was partly just dissatisfaction because he was a good deal smarter than those around him from ownership down to QB. Then in Oakland I cut him slack there as well for the same reason.

But if he's doing the same thing with NE I have to come to the conclusion that he's just a self centered jerk that sulks when things aren't going his way.

30
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:19pm

Hey, Red McCombs was a HORRIBLE owner, but that doesn't have much to do with using a parking meter reader as a hood ornament. Ol' Randy is, to use a clinical term, flat-out loony, and has been for a long time.

8
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:15am

.....and if a team ever signs T.O. AND Moss to their roster, they better budget for the construction of a psychiatric wing at their training facility. What a coupla' whack-jobs.....

18
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:34am

...and as was noted yesterday in the MMQB thread, T.J. Whoseyerdaddy is a remarkable zoologist, making all manner of breakthroughs in the study of the animal world.

19
by BucNasty :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:42am

I wonder how his wife/girlfriend took that comment.

ETA: Makes that wives/girlfriends.

33
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:29pm

I'll steal somebody else's line, and note that the animal world also features mating behavior like a comely and nubile preying mantis babe cutting off her masculine suitor's head, after a good rogering; I wonder if T.J. would think something was up if Camille the Cocktail Waitress had a katana mounted over the ol' four poster.

49
by PanchoVilla (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 4:27pm

Most bird species are also monogomous. In particular, predatory hawks...like Seahawks... :P

53
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 6:38pm

Only because birds don't use nannies, apparently.

58
by the silent speaker (not verified) :: Wed, 12/16/2009 - 1:46am

The best part was the juxtaposition of "it's okay because we're all human" with "humans are the only monogamous animal".

24
by I am excellent at making love (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:58am

I've forwarded this to Dan Snyder, with the message "Do not open until 2012"

9
by Harris :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:17am

Has there ever been an instance of a college coach leaving one job for another that wasn't a hot mess? Is such a thing even possible? I thought Kelly was pretty upfront about his interest in the ND job.

Hail Hydra!

15
by Joe T. :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:30am

Is it common to hire away coaches in between the regular and post-season? Strikes me as something that ought to be out of bounds.

21
by DrewTS (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:46am

Yes, it's common. And yes, it should be out of bounds.

23
by Harris :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:50am

Nonsense. That would leave teams hiring new coaches at a huge disadvantage in recruiting. Plus, nobody would want these "Is he leaving?" scenarios to play out until January.

Hail Hydra!

34
by DrewTS (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:33pm

That sounds better to me than having coaches bail on their teams prior to the biggest game of the year (and in Kelly's case, the biggest game in the history of their program). I don't care if it would put Notre Dame at a recruiting disadvantage to wait. They made a bad coaching hire, and then made the choice to fire him. So they made their own mess. The current MO means that Cincinnati has to suffer for Notre Dame's mistake.

Plus, not to go all TMQ on everybody, but I really do think it says something about the character of a coach when he leaves his team on the eve of the biggest game in the history of the program. It's not really related to whether or not they should be allow to do so, but it just strikes me as bad form. I wonder if he would have done this had Texas lost and Cincinnati been in the championship game.

37
by Harris :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:52pm

Fine, so every player in the program gets punished because the administration made a bad hire? Every kid at Cincinnati, since you want to be specific about something universal, gets to deal with questions about the coach's future for another five weeks. Distraction? Pfft, heck no.

And let's forget about Kelly recruiting at Notre Dame. How is he supposed to recruit at Cincinnati? "Yeah, kid. I may or may not be here, but you should TOTALLY come to UC. Unless, you know, I take a new job in which case I'll probably try to sell you on that place. But, you know, until then, go Bearcats."

Unless you think they should eliminate the downtime after the regular season, which isn't a terrible idea but it only delays the inevitable. Or they could outlaw hiring and recruiting until January, and good luck enforcing that, which creates a whole other set of problems.

Hail Hydra!

40
by dougs (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 1:23pm

Recruiting *is* pretty much outlawed from mid december through the 4th - except for those with letters of intent (mid year enrollment)...

42
by Harris :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 2:06pm

Coaches are allowed home visits, which is why Weis used to stay on the West Coast after the Stanford game.

Hail Hydra!

43
by zlionsfan :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 2:10pm

Well, I can think one of change that would make this less likely ... but because that's been discussed (and will be again) extensively on the college threads, I'll leave it for now.

I agree that preventing a school from filling a position with a coach currently under contract to another school while that school has one or more games remaining would be difficult to do in theory and almost impossible in practice. (Sorry about the prepositional phrases, but I think you have to be pretty specific to make sure the restrictions are appropriate.)

Would it really change anything? Maybe Kelly coaches the Sugar Bowl at 100%, and maybe he doesn't, but either way, Kelly would not be finishing out his contract at UC.

And let's not come too quickly to the Bearcats' defense: after all, Kelly was hired in exactly the same fashion when UC had to replace Mark Dantonio (who left for Michigan State as Kelly is leaving UC now), lured from Central Michigan prior to CMU's bowl game.

At best, with in-season hiring restrictions in place, schools would simply have 4-6 weeks less time to replace their departing coaches. Everything would shake out as it does now, but in January and February rather than December.

And what penalties would the NCAA be able to assess? Fines? I'm sure ND could raise enough booster cash to cover whatever fines would be levied. Probation? A bit harsh (especially to the players) and extremely unlikely to be imposed. (The NCAA is anything but an equal-opportunity enforcer.)

Cincinnati's still considered to be a feeder school for coaches, just as Central Michigan is. I suppose the alternative is convincing UC's athletic department to pay the next coach enough to keep him (assuming he's as good as Kelly may be; there is already, I think, sufficient evidence to suggest that Dantonio isn't nearly as good), and that's probably not a sustainable option at most schools, even if the athletic department would consider it.

44
by DrewTS (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 2:12pm

I'm not sure how not having a coach while they're on a break from football punishes all the players in the program. The recruiting disadvantage can't be that huge, and it would even realistically start to impact the team for another 2-3 years.

Anyway, my point was that it's more fair for Notre Dame to have to bear the burden of their mistakes than for them to be able to pass them off onto Cincinnati in midseason. It's not asking too much to wait until the season is over to poach someone's coach away from them.

48
by Harris :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 2:58pm

As Cincy poached from CMU and CMU poached from somebody else. This is the life which we have chosen.

Besides, you act like these guys don't do anything except coach football. They're recruiting, they're going to banquets, they're schmoozing boosters, they're fund-raising. These guys represent the university in a dozen different ways. All you're doing 1) Keeping the to-be-fired coach dangling and 2) Forcing the process underground.

Hail Hydra!

50
by DrewTS (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 5:07pm

I'm not sticking up for Cincinnati here, nor do I have an agenda against Notre Dame. It just happens to be that that's the most obvious example of the moment, and it ties back to the quote that started this discussion in the first place. And I'm also aware that coaches get poached up and down the food chain. That doesn't make it "the life we have chosen"; it just reflects the outcome of a bad system put in place by the NCAA.

And I'm not saying that a school can't fire it's coach at any time. Notre Dame can fire Weis any time they want to, even during the season if they want. So I'm not advocating keeping the dead-man-walking coach dangling.

As for the "they do other things" argument, that's kind of making my point for me. None of those things besides recruiting and coaching football requires Notre Dame to have a head coach RIGHT NOW, as opposed to waiting a few weeks. And coaching doesn't even apply at ND right now. So what it boils down to is, Cincinnati gets its BCS game submarined so that Kelly can do ~3 weeks of recruiting for Notre Dame.

11
by jmaron :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:21am

The Belichick quote got me thinking about a similar comeback line by Patrick Roy...Jeremy Roenick was talking some trash through the media and Roy said he doesn't really here Roenick when he's talking because his Stanley Cup rings were stuck in his ears.

16
by The Hypno-Toad :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:31am

One of my favorite moments in trash-talk history. Roy was such a dick... But he was exceptionally good, pretty funny, and brought two Cups to Colorado, so thumbs up from me!

20
by MilkmanDanimal :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:44am

"He's a great Floridian. He's much more a great human being than he is a quarterback in my humble opinion."

I think lots of people agree Tebow's a better human being than a QB.

22
by drobviousso :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:48am

he human race is the only being that is monogamous with partners.

Well, that settles it. My next looser league team is going to either have to be "The Houshmandzadeh Gray Wolf Nature Preserve" or "The Houshmandzadeh Family Therapy Center for Heinleinesque Family Structures."

25
by dryheat :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:00pm

When does Christmas fall in Minnesota?

26
by Paul R :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:01pm

Okay, I admit that having a favorite team in the same conference as the Patriots makes one a little paranoid where Bill Belichick is concerned, but consider this:

1) The Pats can't convert on fourth and short. They try short pass after short pass to no avail. By now everybody in the league knows this. If you're facing the Patriots on fourth-and-two, they will throw a one-yard sideout. Bank on it.

2) Randy Moss is finally reverting to his old disagreeable form; jogging up the field on pass plays that don't involve him. Everybody is talking about it. Not much point in double-teaming old Randy any more, right?

Therefore, considering the ruthless intelligence involved, I conclude that these two items have been a carefully crafted setup.
Watch what happens in the playoffs. I predict that the Patriots will face a fourth-and-short situation, perhaps with the game on the line. The entire defensive secondary will crash to the sidelines at the line of scrimmage while Tom Brady throws an eighty-nine yard bomb to Randy Moss who is streaking up the field all alone.

This is a play they have been rehearsing all season long at their fortress of solitude buried deep underneath Nova Scotia; which also explains why Randy was late for practice.

See how it all fits together?

32
by AnonymousA (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:28pm

> See how it all fits together?

Like peanut butter and spinach.

35
by BadAxe (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:41pm

So in this scenario the Pats are going for it on fourth down from their own 11? Belichick is ballsier than I thought.

51
by DrewTS (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 5:13pm

He thought they could get the yard.

55
by Nathan :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 9:12pm

Wrong, half the time they will throw that route and the other half of the time they will put Sammy Morris (Or BJGE if Morris is unavailable) in as the upback and give it to them on a dive.

57
by PatsFan :: Wed, 12/16/2009 - 12:19am

Bitter, much?

(You aren't the only one, I tell you whut.)

62
by Nathan :: Wed, 12/16/2009 - 2:56pm

I didn't mind it the first few times... it was around attempt 6 or 7. And don't even get me started on letting Heath Evans walk... look at the season Weaver is having in Philly (after the Klecko experiment)... teams still need a real fullback... especially teams whose QBs have just had reconstructive knee surgery.

29
by Jon Coit (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:15pm

In all fairness to Jason Garrett, as a Chargers fan I have to say the reason Dallas called those plays is precisely because they have been watching film of the SD run defense.

31
by andrew :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:28pm

I almost guarantee it.

Without admitting it or anything.

Someone (Merrill Hodge I think) called him out big time on taking plays off in 2000, complete with an extensive video segment showing play after play where he did this.

this is what Moss did the next Sunday.

39
by Temo :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 1:11pm

Jaworski did the same thing in '07, much to the indignant protests of Pats fans.

41
by dougs (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 1:27pm

(insert obligatory lions joke here :D)

(yes, I know the lions were somewhat decent that year - at least a winning season...)

45
by zlionsfan :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 2:23pm

Actually, the joke would be misplaced.

While the Lions were a mediocre team as a whole - 20th in DVOA and a field goal away from the playoffs and a history without Matt Millen - they had a strong defense, 8th overall and 6th against the pass. Minnesota's offensive performance that game was arguably its best all year. They posted a season-high 54.6% DVOA on offense against the Lions that week, 106.5% passing.

It was, in fact, a monster game. Not only that, it meant the difference between the Central Division going cleanly to Minnesota or being split between the Vikings, Lions, and Buccaneers. (If I am reading the games correctly, they each would have gone 2-2 against the others, and all three teams would have been 4-4 in the division, so it would have gone to conference next.)

Sorry, but one thing that is easily forgotten in the midst of Millen's nuking of the franchise is that he took over the Lions when they were actually doing pretty darn well: six playoff appearances in ten years and just the one Edinger field goal from edging out St. Louis for a seventh. It wasn't like he was Eric Mangini taking over the Browns (yeah, Mangini wasn't/isn't the GM in title, but if you're the head coach and you're picking the GM, you might as well be).

63
by mathesond :: Wed, 12/16/2009 - 5:30pm

Yeah, but Moss had Culpepper throwing to him. Totally different comparison

36
by Keasley (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:46pm

Cashish? Is Jared Allen the current 'active player most likely to violate the league's substance policy and cost his team in the playoffs'? If I'm a Vikings fan, I'm worried that one of my star players is using drug slang in an interview.

In related news, with the new google 'auto-fill suggestions' or whatever it's called when you type 'Jared Allen' into Google, the first two suggestions are 'Jared Allen 69' and 'Jared Allen Mullet'. lol.

38
by mrh :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 1:03pm

What, no Zorn on Carter's "salad tong" hands?

46
by zlionsfan :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 2:32pm

To Brian Kelly: In South Bend, they won't be using eggs.

To Jared Allen: nothing. He can be excused for being economically insensitive, I think. The Metrodome's selling out each week, right? So why wouldn't he expect people to buy playoff tickets?

To Ochocinco: liar. I was counting on you stealing that stupid horn.

To Jerry Jones: Your defense is posting a DVOA of 87.6% on third-and-long, 36.3% on all third-down plays. Yeah, your kicker is struggling, but that's really not your problem. (Maybe you should talk to Jim Mora Jr. about the kicker being the root of all problems.)

47
by Temo :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 2:52pm

Jones was responding to a question about his kicker, and in no way said that the root of the problem is Folk. But he is ONE problem.

65
by zlionsfan :: Sun, 12/20/2009 - 12:19am

Based on tonight's game, I retract my comment about the Cowboys' kicking game.

54
by Jerry :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 7:35pm

As your linked article indicates, Cincinnati's unhappy WR is Mardy Gilyard.

64
by The Human Spider :: Wed, 12/16/2009 - 7:42pm

Maybe some cashish will cheer him up.

56
by jbrown (not verified) :: Tue, 12/15/2009 - 9:19pm

I don't know how many Aqua Teen Hunger Force fans are on here, but the Jerry quote reminded me of one episode...basically some trees were tearing strips of flesh from Carl's (the neighbor) back to write on...that is how I will forever picture the Jerry/Wade relationship now.

Good week.

61
by andrew :: Wed, 12/16/2009 - 9:17am

I love ATHF.

If you go to the Adult Swim site, Carl makes picks on NFL games on a regular basis.

His "Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week" segement is a blast... he does tend to be somewhat biased for the Giants...

here are some of his picks:

last week: Carl picks Bengals over Vikings

picks saints over patriots (and complains about detroit thanksgiving)

etc... once you click on one you can get the rest...