This week: a bad coach gets paid, then insulted; a bad quarterback gets optimistic; another bad quarterbcak gets a cunning plan; a bad play gets Matt Ryan irked; a bad play gets burned; and Jets and Raiders fans get drunk.
02 Jan 2009
compiled by Mark Zajack
"If we could have won just six of those games."
-Chiefs cornerback Patrick Surtain, on entering Week 17 with only five fewer victories than eventual division winner San Diego. (Kansas City Star)
"They have bad teeth."
-Chargers defensive end Jacques Cesaire, on why he dislikes the Broncos.
"They have bad hair. They don't know how to cook."
"What else don't I like about them? They watch 'Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.' Who does that? Who watches 'Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?' That's what I want to know. I heard the Denver Broncos watch it. I'm just sayin'."
"My biggest complaint with him is that he looks like Ringo Starr, you know? I'm just not feeling his haircut."
-Cesaire, on his feelings regarding Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler.
-Cesaire, when asked what he would say to Cutler should he sack him Sunday. (San Diego Union-Tribune)
"Well, being better on offense."
-Redskins head coach Jim Zorn, answering a question regarding how the Redskins could score more points next year.
"By, uh, making our drives get across the goal line."
-Zorn, when asked to elaborate. (Washington Post)
"This is mine, I totally deserve it, and if it wasn't for me, I wouldn't have this."
-Redskins cornerback Fred Smoot, accepting the trophy for winning Chris Cooley's fantasy league. (Cooley Zone)
"Every long touchdown we gave up this season, it was my fault. Every time a receiver caught a pass for a touchdown, it was my fault too. In Atlanta, when the guy caught that pass that allowed them to kick the field goal, that was my fault."
-Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher, responding to media criticism of his play. (Chicago Tribune)
"There was a lot of resentment in the room about [Favre]."
-Anonymous Jets player, regarding the preferential treatment given to #4.
"Guys would be getting called out for missed assignments or blown coverages, and Brett would have three picks and no one would say a word."
-Same anonymous Jets player. (ESPN.com)
"The reality is, you throw interceptions, I'm (ticked) off, I don't like it. You know what I'm saying? I don't like it, I know everybody else on the team doesn't like it."
-Jets running back Thomas Jones, talking about Favre on a HOT 97 FM radio show.
"If somebody is not playing well, they need to come out of the game," Jones replied. "You're jeopardizing the whole team because you're having a bad day. To me, that's not fair to everybody else. You're not the only one on the team."
-Jones. (New York Daily News)
"We might have an edge; our heads might be a little lighter."
-Redskins wide receiver Antwaan Randle El, upon hearing that most of the 49ers had grown mustaches in advance of Sunday's game.
"Fred Smoot. Because it's so thin, you need a microscope to see it. He does it on purpose. It's probably like 1/10 of a millimeter in diameter, but it covers his lip. He's got a big mouth, so it's kind of long."
-Redskins linebacker Khary Campbell, on which teammate has the best mustache.
"If they can grow those [bleeps] in a week, they some bad guys."
-Redskins cornerback Fred Smoot, on the Niners mustache plan.
"He would say that, because I talk about his mustache all the time. Khary has the type of mustache, if he cut it down, it'll grow out of hand... because he's half-Jamaican. You know what I'm saying, he's a hairy person. Why you think they call him Mustachious?"
-Smoot, upon being told that Campbell had nominated him for best 'stache.
"He thinks any mustaches are big if they're not edged up as razor-thin as his. See, he shaves and then draws his on with a pencil. He must."
-Campbell, referring to Smoot's 'stache style.
"It doesn't matter, I'm gonna jam his mustache to the ground."
-Smoot, on whether he'd be intimidated by a receiver with lip fur.
"I would say no, it didn't make me a better football player, but I looked a lot cooler. I mean, I kind of felt like Magnum P.I, to be honest with you."
-Redskins tight end Todd Yoder, on the sporting a mustache last season. (Washington Post)
20 comments, Last at 03 Jan 2009, 4:20pm by touchdown al