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13 Oct 2009

This Week in Quotes: October 13, 2009

compiled by Rory Hickey

MAYBE HE WAS RUNNING AROUND SO MUCH AFTER THE GAME BECAUSE HIS PANTS WERE ON FIRE

"I lied."

-- Broncos coach Josh McDaniels on his previous statement that the game against the Patriots was just another game (Boston Herald)

DIFFERENCES IN THE BELICHICK COACHING TREE: ERIC MANGINI WOULD FINE HAGGAN FOR THANKING JESUS INSTEAD OF HIM

"Thank you, Jesus! We weren't supposed to win four [games] all year!"

-- Broncos linebacker Mario Haggan after the Broncos win over the Patriots on Sunday (ESPN)

MIKE SHANAHAN ON LINE ONE

"Well. It's. Um. You can only do what you have right now. So even during the game, we could do what we could do."

-- Redskins coach Jim Zorn when asked how the Redskins could expect to run anything with their offensive line as currently constructed (D.C. Sports Bog)

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, CONVERTING OFF OF TURNOVERS?!

"You know how they got their lead? They had a 13-yard touchdown drive and a one-yard touchdown drive. Two drives, 14 points, total 14 yards. That's disgusting. It's disgraceful. It's, um, it's not professional football. And it's unacceptable, to be perfectly honest with you."

-- Radio host and former Redskins quarterback Joe Theismann on the Washington Redskins (D.C. Sports Bog)

WELL HE MUST LIKE HIM BECAUSE THAT'S HOW HE PREFACED HIS NEGATIVE STATEMENT

"I like Jim Zorn. I like him because he's honest. I like him because he tries to be quirky and be funny. But I want to be real. I want to ask people, viewers out there: when you see him in press conferences, and the things he says, and the way he looks, does he truly look like a guy that you want to be following, to be your leader? I'm serious. I keep hearing that statement, 'He blew us away in the interview process'. I don't see blow away in what I'm seeing. Whether they win or lose, I don't see blow away. I was with Norv Turner, and Norv was a great coach, but he was not a damn leader. And I see this man being a little less than what Norv Turner was. I'm being honest..."

-- TV analyst and former Redskin Brian Mitchell expressing his opinion on Redskins coach Jim Zorn (D.C. Sports Bog)

MY PS3 SAYS THE SAME THING WHEN I'M PLAYING MADDEN ON ROOKIE MODE

"We couldn't stop anything. That's a bad feeling when you are out there and they are running whatever plays they want to."

-- Raiders defensive end Richard Seymour on Oakland's defensive effort on Sunday against the Giants (NBC Sports)

AIN'T NOTHING BUT A ME THING BABY

"Like I say, I'm going to be me. That's who I've been my whole life, that's who I was in college. I have fun. Dre's gonna be Dre."

-- 49ers cornerback Dre' Bly on showboating after an interception, which caused him to get stripped. On Monday he publicly apologized for his comments. (Sacramento Bee)

IN OTHER SPORTS YOU NEED MORE QUALIFICATIONS TO BE AN ANALYST

"In other sports ... they get rid of coaches in the middle of the year to get to the playoffs. It may be time for that phone call from Jerry to start seeing if Mike Shanahan wants to come in in the middle of the year to coach this team to get in the playoffs ... They need a new coach."

-- ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson's thoughts on Cowboys coach Wade Phillips (Dallas Morning News)

DEREK ANDERSON AND BRADY QUINN WOULD AGREE HERE

"That's an issue. When you're playing with a young quarterback, those plays have got to be made by those caliber of players, those caliber of receivers. Both guys dropped a bunch of balls today. I don't have the exact number here but you've got to make those plays for a young quarterback so he can present himself with a better day than he had. The guys around him have got to step up for him. The positive side of that is Kellen Winslow did step up for him. We need everybody. When you talk about playing a young quarterback like Josh, having to go into a hostile environment like Philly, playing against the relentless blitzes you get from Philly, somebody has got to step up and make a play for him. When you've got zero coverage on the back end and he puts the ball on you, you've got to make somebody miss and go score. Period."

-- Buccaneers coach Raheem Morris on his receivers dropping passes (St. Petersburg Times)

I'M PRETTY SURE THERE CAN BE MULTIPLE BULLIES AT ONE SCHOOL, JOEY. GOOD ATTEMPT, THOUGH.

"This conference isn't big enough for too many bullies. There can only be a certain amount of bullies on the playground at one time before they fight and find out who the real bully is."

-- Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter on schoolyard bullying and the AFC East (Miami Herald)

IF HE HAD CANCER I ONLY STRONGLY DISLIKE HIM

"We do not like each other. With Florida State, I hated him. I hate him now. If I see him out, I'm not going to talk to him. I'm not going to slap him, but I'm not going to be pleasant. Every time he sees me, he starts cussing. I see him and I start cussing. It's going to be like that the whole game."

-- Dolphins linebacker and University of Florida graduate Channing Crowder on his relationship with Florida State University graduate and Jets running back Leon Washington (NY Daily News)

THEY'RE BREAK-DANCE FIGHTING!

"I know he knows deep down who the better dancer is. He might have a little bit more things up his sleeve. But as far as quality of a dancer, he knows who's better."

-- Ravens wide receiver Kelley Washington on who is the better dancer between himself and ex-teammate Chad Ochocinco (NFL Nation Blog)

DID ANYONE TELL ROD MARINELLI?

"I want to win now. Every team in the league should want to win now. In my opinion it's a copout for any team to say, 'We've got a four-year program.' Well, how convenient. Your contract is four years, or whatever. To me, I don't see how that's justified."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan on teams who claim they are rebuilding (NFL Nation Blog)

TO BE FAIR, THAT'S VERY SIMILAR TO OAKLAND RAIDERS INITIATION

"From my blindside, Tom Cable threw me from my chair and into a piece of furniture that a lamp sat upon. He was screaming, 'I'll fuc*ing you! I'll fuc*ing kill you!' And I have no reason to believe he wouldn't have killed me if they hadn't pulled him away. If my head would've hit a different way, I might be dead right now."

-- Former Raiders assistant Randy Hanson on the notorious incident involving him and Raiders coach Tom Cable (Yahoo!)

DEAR LORD BABY JESUS, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL QUOTE, AND MY TWO BEAUTIFUL SONS, WALKER AND TEXAS RANGER

"When I score, which you know is what I will do, I have this special thing. It's called a Ricky Bobby, for those of you who saw Talladega Nights."

-- Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco on what he would do if he scored a touchdown on Sunday against the Ravens. He didn't score. (Ravens.com)

CHUCK NORRIS?

"If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Ochocinco."

-- Ochocinco, after the Bengals victory over the Ravens on Sunday (Twitter)

THIS IS THE REASON WE DON'T ELECT OUR GMS...

"I think there are some times when a fit just doesn't work with the team anymore. Like Randy Moss may be the greatest receiver anywhere around, but I don't want that guy to ever come back into the city of Minneapolis again. He was a jerk when he was here, and, uh, Brett [Favre] wasn't a jerk when he was over there. There's a different deal, but sometimes fits don't work in football. So, hey, he fits beautifully here and we are happy to take him."

-- Minneapolis mayor R.T. Rybak commenting on Randy Moss for some reason (Boston Herald)

WHAT IF THEY'RE ALL VAMPIRES?

"The NFL is more of a guarantee of success than if you got Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Angelina Jolie to do an hour drama series for the network. You can't guarantee that it will be a ratings success."

-- NBC chairman Dick Ebersol on the ratings bonanza that is the NFL (New York Times)

IT'S MORE OF A BOX THAN A BAG

"Well, I think we've got a lot of tools in our bag that we're not using. For whatever that reason is, I don't know."

-- Packers defensive back Charles Woodson metaphorically assessing the Packers' defensive woes (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

THAT EXPRESSION AND A GOOD EXPRESSION IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT SACK OF MONKEYS

"The preseason and the regular season are a whole different kettle of fish, but yeah, I would have thought we would have played a little bit better starting out."

-- Packers general manager Ted Thompson using an absurd expression to illustrate his point (Green Bay Press-Gazette)

WHO SAYS FOOTBALL ISN'T A GLOBAL GAME?

"That's the saddest part for me. Just seeing how great they talk about that guy and he's definitely like my big brother. But I'm like, 'Man, that used to be both of us. L, you used to run just like him, what happened?' Get back to it ... [Run] with no remorse. Be Kamikaze."

-- Patriots running back Laurence Maroney talking about the success of former college teammate Marion Barber and working in a Japanese World War II reference. (Boston Herald)

AT LEAST HE DIDN'T BRING UP JOE BUCK'S SECOND FAVORITE WEBSITE

"Of course, Joe Buck's just ripping Eli, just cause that's what he seems to enjoy doing ... just call the play-by-play Joe, let Aikman do the commentary."

-- Colts quarterback Peyton Manning on analyst Joe Buck's treatment of his brother Eli (The Big Lead)

IF BRETT FAVRE IS LIKE A KID, THEN WHAT ARE HIS KIDS LIKE?

"Enberg: What is it about Brett Favre ... when the bright lights are on, he is a neon performer!
Fouts: He'd be pretty good in the dark, too!
Enberg: [Laughs] Blindfolded, he'd beat ya!
Fouts: Yeah. He's 40 years old. Amazing.
Enberg: A stunning story that will be replayed in the history books forever.
[Lions run for no gain.]
Fouts: Getting back to Favre … people asked me in the preseason, 'Will all this going back and forth, all this retiring, unretiring … will it affect his legacy?' I said, 'what, are you kidding? His legacy? He's a Hall of Famer, 1st ballot.' He's got all the records, and he's still playing top notch at 40-years-old with a first place team!
Enberg [He] was sort of like a kid on Monday night."

-- An actual exchange between CBS analysts Dan Fouts and Dick Enberg during the Lions-Steelers game (The Big Lead)

AL DAVIS' HEAD JUST EXPLODED

"When speed goes in the wrong direction, that can be a bad thing. So when you have fast guys that run the wrong way fast, that's even worse than slow guys that run the wrong way slow."

-- ESPN analyst Bob Davie on the downside of speed (Awful Announcing)

WHY DIDN'T HE REFERENCE TWO-TIME DEFENDING WOMEN'S THREE-METRE SPRINGBOARD CHAMPION GUO JINGJING?

"Dive play. Greg Louganis is going to show up here soon."

-- CBS analyst Verne Lunquist (Awful Announcing)

Want to be a contributor to This Week In Quotes, just like the immortal Joe Lenoff? Send a quote to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com and be the envy of your neighborhood (assuming your neighborhood has really low standards).

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 13 Oct 2009

79 comments, Last at 16 Oct 2009, 3:00pm by tuluse

Comments

1
by Dean :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:10am

Joey Porter is right (although I can't believe I just typed that).

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

20
by DrewTS (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:36am

It's all fun and games until someone gets their head chopped off.

2
by Dean :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:12am

Also, it just hit this morning, so maybe it goes in next week's batch, but from the “whining like a little bitch” department…

"I'm going to be honest, I can't respect that stuff. All that Wildcat. Because we're in the NFL, man. If you're out there running that nonsense, it's crap. They got us today but we'll see them again and we'll have something for them. I guess you have to give them credit but the defense lost the game."

- Jets Linebacker Calvin Pace, after they got whipped last night.

13
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:17am

Yeah, how nonsensical to have the other team line up and beat you like the proverbial leased horse-donkey hybrid. The nerve!

15
by Independent George :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:24am

It's almost as disrespectful as blocking Ray Lewis.

38
by Tundrapaddy (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:07pm

...or flagging him for headhunting 2 seconds after the play ended.

22
by MJK :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:42am

Wow, that's a little bit reminiscent of the old days when all the NFL players were complaining that the AFL teams were crushing them with some pansy, not-really-football, wussy thing called the forward pass.

33
by Gruntled (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 1:37pm

Sorry to get all literal on you, but teams from the AFL beat teams from the NFL precisely twice in the history of the universe, and threw a grand total of one touchdown pass (between them) in the process. I suspect you meant something a little different, and I suspect that whatever it was is also wrong.

34
by Temo :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 1:48pm

I suspect he meant NFC-AFC, and yes I'm pretty sure he's wrong there too. I think the NFC did just fine against the AFC when the two still played different styles of football, though that didn't last long before the two conferences became homogenized.

54
by MJK :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 4:21pm

Well, I was mixed up a bit. What I was actually referring to was when the AAFC folded and three teams joined the NFL. I had read that Cleveland came in and was expected to flop along with the other AAFC teams, since the NFL considered the AAFC to be a "minor league" and conventional wisdom was that it was too pass happy to succeed in "real" professional football where the focus was on running the ball.

Of course, passing was legal and used in the NFL at the time, but the article I was reading (can't remember where right now...but it was a good one) was stressing that the offense that Cleveland and the other AAFC teams ran in particular was innovative in how much it featured the more wide-open passing game than traditional NFL teams employed.

And Cleveland wiped the floor with all the "real" football teams for the next few years or so.

Sorry I had my facts a bit mixed up. I wish I could find the source article...it was a really good read.

59
by Gruntled (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 4:41pm

The Browns joined the NFL in 1950 and did indeed have a talented team, featuring Otto Graham and Marion Motley (among others). They won the NFL championship in their first year (in a close game 30-28) and competed for it over the next few years.

But they didn't win another championship until 1954.

More to the point, during their first year in the league they finished 9th in passing yardage (in a 13 team league). The Rams put up twice as many passing yards as the Browns that year. So any suggestion that they introduced the NFL to the forward pass (even figuratively) does not stand up.

69
by Whatev (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:39pm

4 years isn't a very long interregnum, though.

61
by Gruntled (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 5:04pm

I wanted to add - I probably went farther than necessary in attempting to refute what I recognize was an off-hand comment. I also tend to remember the stories about the Browns coming into the league with some mythological elements attached to them and might have thought something similar to what you said if I hadn't gone and checked.

I mis-remember a fair number of things about the 'old days', and sometimes I just make up stuff, but I try to do it about things that aren't verifiable.

3
by The Human Spider :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:25am

Bob Davie's comment is like Waldo's speech on that one episode on Family Matters: you have no idea WTF he's talking about, but you know what he's saying...I think...

39
by Tundrapaddy (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:09pm

I read it as a clear reminder that, with visual broadcast media, the packaging apparently matters more than the contents.

4
by drobviousso :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:30am

(note: we live in MN and are long time Steelers fans, so we've been inundated with all things Wrangler-spokes-modely lately) My wife, during the Lions-Steelers game "Who are these idiots, and who cares about Brett Favre in the dark?!?"

50
by The Anti-Dave (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 3:20pm

Deanna?

5
by Eddo :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:33am

The Ochocinco rock-paper-scissors quote may have made my year. Thank you for making me aware of it.

14
by Todd S. :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:19am

Props for the Big Bang Theory reference, as well.

23
by MJK :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:43am

Huh? I didn't catch a Big Bang Theory reference...

Even the Big Bang RPS wouldn't answer "what beat's all three". Lizard beats paper, but gets crushed by rock and cut by scissors. Spock destroys scissors and vaporizes rock, but get's disproved by paper.

40
by Tundrapaddy (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:10pm

Rock flag eagle!

72
by TGT2 (not verified) :: Wed, 10/14/2009 - 11:31am

Bear - Ninja - Cowboy?
Microwave - Cat - Tinfoil?

All selections must be fully acted out, both physically and orally.

6
by J. Morse (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:43am

Ted Thompson didn't make up "a whole different kettle of fish". It's an expression you hear in the upper Great Lakes region. (If you've ever been to a Wisconsin fish boil, you'll know what he's talking about.)

24
by Gruntled (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:45am

Being from the upper Great Lakes region, I can verify that it is a common expression (though I wasn't aware that it was unique to the region). However, I most often heard it as "a whole 'nother kettle of fish". Of course, Thompson is from Texas and may not have picked up on the nuances.

I've never been to a Wisconsin fish boil, though not for lack of opportunity; I was unwilling to take the chance that I might consume something uniquely Norwegian. Do people really use that expression at a fish boil when actual kettles of fish are present? Do they also like to point out horses of a different color on horse farms?

58
by J. Morse (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 4:40pm

"Do people really use that expression at a fish boil when actual kettles of fish are present?"

Not at all, I merely meant to illustrate that there are places where literal kettles of fish are commonplace. Like Wisconsin.

60
by Gruntled (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 4:48pm

Gotcha. That was actually clear from what you wrote; I think I had assumed that everyone knew there were literal kettles of fish, but the subsequent conversation has made it evident that that is not true.

My bad.

7
by Podge (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:47am

I don't get the Ted Thompson quote. "A different kettle of fish" is a completely legitimate saying. Bad grammar in the second sentence aside, I can't see anything odd about it.

29
by Rory Hickey :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 1:01pm

Living on the east coast I had no idea this was something that people said with regularity.

"You play to win the game" - Herm

35
by TomC :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:00pm

Wow, that blows my mind. I was under the impression that there were no more purely regional expressions left in American English. You coastal types have really never heard "a different kettle of fish"? There's a famous beat-era Greenwich Village bar called the Kettle of Fish, but their website heavily promotes Packer & Badger games, so I'm guessing it must have been opened by ex-pat Wisconsinites.

36
by Temo :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:03pm

Never heard of it before.

37
by drobviousso :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:05pm

I always thought the saying had something to do with alleged food item lutefisk, which is, I think, traditionally prepared in a kettle.

41
by Tundrapaddy (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:14pm

Exchange 'prepared' for 'conjured from some bland, gelatinous hell', and I think you're spot on.

42
by Gruntled (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:21pm

There are lots of good comments on lutefisk in the wikipedia entry. This has to be one of the best (from an official standpoint):

The Wisconsin Employees' Right to Know Act specifically exempts lutefisk in defining "toxic substances".

Growing up, I never wanted to be in the same room with the stuff.

47
by MilkmanDanimal :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:56pm

I tried it once. Imagine soggy jello made from rotting fish. Now, make it worse. That's lutefisk.

48
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 3:10pm

The only stuff I've had that was worse than lutefisk was when I was in Greenland, and had fermented (read:rotted) shark flesh. The only reason I didn't die was due to the custom of slamming some 150 proof firewater after swallowing the decomposed shark carcass.

70
by Whatev (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:42pm

Isn't fermentation a wonderful process!?

71
by MilkmanDanimal :: Wed, 10/14/2009 - 9:15am

When it happens to barley or grapes, yes. When it happens to fish? Not so much.

56
by MJK :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 4:29pm

I was under the impression that there were no more purely regional expressions left in American English.

Oh, there most certainly are. Ever hear someone from Boston describe something as "wicked cool"? (for those non-New Englanders, "wicked" is synonymous with "very" in this case) Some folks from New York will use "mad" in the same manner, while native northern Californians (yes, there are a few of those out there) will say "hella" (or, amusingly, the grade-school equivalent "hecka"). Native southern Californians, on the other hand, are, like, totally incomprehensible and stuff. My wife knows a girl from "the valley" who would constantly use the expression "Like, stop chompin' on my schnoz!", which I would think means "don't chew on my nose" but apparently meant "stop bothering me" or something like that, and claimed it was a common expression where she grew up.

In some parts of the country you order "soda", in others "cola", in New England it's "tonic", in the south it's "Coke" (even if you want Pepsi or Sprite, you still order a "coke" and then get asked "what kind?").

If you're thirsty and you find a public water dispensing unit, it might be a "water fountain" or it might be a "bubbler", depending on what part of the country you're in. And if you order a "milkshake" in the northeast, you'll get exactly that...shaken milk; you have to order a "frappe" if you want ice cream in it (or a "cabinet" if you're in Rhode Island or the islands off Cape Cod).

77
by Temo :: Fri, 10/16/2009 - 11:13am

People outside NY-area don't use "Mad"? Dang, I gotta get out of this area more.

53
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 3:58pm

We use it over here in England too, nothing absurd about it to me.

8
by Theo :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 10:59am

Jesus? I heard there were only a few hispanic guys in the NFL. Where does this Jesus play and how does he help the Bronco's win?

49
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 3:15pm

Einstein once said "God doesn't play dice", but apparently his son likes a little action on the NFL.

62
by Theo :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 5:06pm

Einstein knew Jesus' dad? Wow that's cool.
Couldn't find him on nfl.com/players either by the way. :s

9
by El Miriodor :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:14am

I love the quote from Peyton Manning about Joe Buck. Joe Buck editorializes so often, and it never turns out well. Aikman never calls him out either, but that could just be the concussions. I really hate that duo, and it's not just because I have to be subjected to a Cowboys game every week that my home team isn't playing in the "prime time" on Fox. I remember when Joe Buck said that Randy Moss's fake moon at Green Bay was "disgusting", and then went on a 5 minute hate fest that Merrill Hoge would be proud of. While classless, the gesture was exactly what Green Bay fans have been doing to Vikings fans and players alike after their home games for years. Not sure if realistically Joe should know this, but please, spare us your moralizing and call the game. Call out the substitutions, formations, down and distance and let's get on with the game. or better yet, stick to baseball.

12
by Key19 :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:16am

You beat me to it and you were a lot more eloquent in the process. Props to you.

51
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 3:20pm

Oh HELL no! He's more of a whiny condecending jerk on baseball games than he is on football. Last year, you'd have thought that every TV in Philly was broken based on how many had no sound. Thank God for the mute button!

63
by Hud (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 5:53pm

I hate how he always concludes a call of a long touchdown play with "No Flags!"
That clown is as boring as watching the Grand Canyon being formed.

67
by CathyW :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 8:21pm

Good news: Fightin's back in the NLCS (woo hoo!)
Bad news: Listening to Joe Frickin' Buck

10
by Hank (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:14am

fast guy running the wrong way fast, gold

17
by bubqr :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:24am

Agree, hilarious quote.

11
by Key19 :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:15am

Joe Buck is the worst "play-by-play guy who poses as an analyst sometimes" in the league.

Tirico is close though.

Both need to find new jobs.

16
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:24am

If they would only get going on that cloning project, we could have a young Pat Summerall again. I swear, in his prime, he was better with a gargantuan hangover than Buck is on his best day. Summerall describing a sixty yard td play in four words was perfect.

68
by Jerry :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 8:29pm

Four words? Ray Scott would consider that excessive.

18
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:27am

Oh, and somebody ought to have Dre Bly explain how much fun he is having when his team is down 3 touchdowns. Whatta maroon....

43
by Tundrapaddy (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:21pm

Agreed - I think that's often the worst part about some of the players' dumbass celebrations. When your team is more than 2 scores behind in the second half, maybe you shouldn't get too worked up about that sack/first down/pass defensed/etc.

And Dre Bly is now the second idiot this year to say, 'That's who I am, I'm not gonna change,' after making a stupid, stupid play that cost his team. Instead of manning up and apologizing.

65
by tuluse :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 6:40pm

Of course all Roy Williams did was make the first down motion. Not fumble by being a jackass.

66
by The Human Spider :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 6:58pm

True, but Donnie Avery did do the "Stanky-Leg" after a touchdown catch despite the fact that the Rams were down by 22 points.

19
by les steckel (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:32am

I'm not sure why I care, but what is Joe Buck's second favorite website?

25
by ChrisH :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 12:00pm

From the Joe Buck Live show, when Artie Lange was on the first episode:

“Joe, TMZ is your favorite website? What’s your second, suckingc**k.com?”

21
by MilkmanDanimal :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 11:39am

Al Davis chooses fast guys who run the right way fast, not the wrong way. Of course, they either fall down or drop the ball while going the right direction, but hey, at least they're usually not running the wrong way.

44
by Tundrapaddy (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:25pm

In Al's defense...I don't think I've ever seen a player fall down so fast.

26
by The Anti-Dave (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 12:46pm

The Lundquist quote was reasonably appropriate in context, as it came in the midst of Florida's running approximately 6,432 consecutive dive plays. Actually kind of funny too, since he said it with such contempt.

28
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 12:58pm

Lundquist is certainly on the back nine, but he is still terrific. I'd take him over Buck any day, but that is damning with faint praise, indeed.

27
by Shane S. (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 12:48pm

I remember watching a college game this last weekend or the weekend before (don't remember which one) and somehow the announcers worked favre into the conversation. I immediately turned the channel.

30
by Bruce G. (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 1:10pm

I can't believe Andy Reid's comment on the success of his wildcat plays this week didn't make it into TWIQ. Could it be because he's usually so vague they don't even bother to scan his PC for this column....I wouldn't blame them.

When asked how he felt about the success of the wildcat this week he said: "It didn't blow my skirt up."

45
by Tundrapaddy (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:27pm

Andy Reid: "It didn't blow my skirt up."

Thank the gods for that. Football Nation sighs with relief.

52
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 3:24pm

The correct quote was "It didn't blow up my blouse". Of course, it would take Katrina to blow around anything Andy wears.

31
by Temo :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 1:10pm

That Maroney quote is sad in so many ways. I almost want to give him a hug and tell him it's not his fault.

Then beg the Pats to play him more, because he's really not very good.

32
by nat :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 1:31pm

You, sir, are an evil genius.

46
by Tundrapaddy (not verified) :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 2:35pm

He's an odd case - he certainly looked talented enough coming out of college.

Maroney's like the 'Charlie' (Flowers for Algernon) of the NFL.

55
by dbostedo :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 4:27pm

So...what - Maroney should stay away from Diet Soda?

57
by MJK :: Tue, 10/13/2009 - 4:35pm

I think Maroney just lacks the field vision instincts that make a good RB. He has great physical gifts, but always seems to make the wrong decision. He started out by "dancing" too much...hesitating and waiting for the hole to develop, presumably to a degree that is rare in the NFL. OK, fine, a lot of rookie RB's make that mistake. However, he then tried to compensate by not waiting at all and charging straight at the first hole he saw...even if it was closing and there was a cutback lane available.

He always seems to choose the wrong hole, or commit when he should have hesitated, or hesitates when he should commit and get the couple of "downhill" yards available, or break left when there is a better running lane to the right. In college, where you're up against elite defenses maybe once or twice a season, you can get away with mistakes like this if you are physically gifted (and he is). But I just don't think he has the field vision to make it in the NFL.

Recently, he has improved in the passing game...his blitz pickup has gotten much better, for the most part, he has good hands, and he is still very dangerous in space. I think the Pats could still convert him into a servicable 3rd down back once Kevin Faulk finally grows old, if he's still with the team then. However, that would be a disappointing outcome for a highly touted first round draft pick.

76
by John (not verified) :: Thu, 10/15/2009 - 9:42pm

As a Colts fan, I find Maroney an interesting case. I recall there was a great deal of speculation that the Colts really wanted him, and even some speculation that the Pats took him so the Colts couldn't. (I can't imagine a well-run organization like the Patriots doing that, but I suppose I can't rule it out.)

Instead, the Colts took Addai, IIRC, and we're clearly quite happy they did. Rather the inverse of the Edge/Williams decision, and yet again, Polian comes out smelling like roses.

Shame he can't draft offensive linemen worth squat.

78
by MJK :: Fri, 10/16/2009 - 12:05pm

I could see a well-run organization doing that, but only if it was one of the last criterion on a long list of them and everything else was a tie. I.e. if you have two backs you like equally well taking everything else into account, but you know one of your big rivals prefers one of them, you take that one, both to make life harder on your rival, and also because you might guess that your rival knows something you don't. But I can't see the Patriots taking Maroney if they honestly thought some other back was better, just to spite the Colts (or Denver, I've also heard).

Still, Maroney might have been a better fit for the Colts than he has been for the Pats. I commented about his lack of field instincts, but my impression is that the stretch run that the Colts use so extensively demands less from a RB's instincts than the funkier trap plays that Belichick is fond of. Also, the Colts line is better at run blocking than the Pats line.

Or, everyone could just have been wrong about Maroney. It wasn't just the Pats that liked him...he was one of the better backs in that draft according to popular consensus (figures that the one time the Pats follow conventional wisdom with their first rounder, he's a bust).

79
by tuluse :: Fri, 10/16/2009 - 3:00pm

Or, everyone could just have been wrong about Maroney. It wasn't just the Pats that liked him...he was one of the better backs in that draft according to popular consensus (figures that the one time the Pats follow conventional wisdom with their first rounder, he's a bust).
Don't forget Chad Jackson.

I've felt that the Packers drafted Brohm to keep him away from the Bears, but I don't have anything to back that up.

73
by BroncosGuy (not verified) :: Wed, 10/14/2009 - 9:52pm

I googled "whole different kettle of fish". Just shy of 1.6 million hits. Did the same for "whole different sack of monkeys". Four hits. 1.6 million versus 4. Roughly comparably, at least at a website for "hard core statistical analysis". I don't find the phrase any more absurd than any number of other idiomatic phrases. There was even a (highly unsuccessful) movie called "Kettle of Fish".

As for the West Village tavern, Google also reveals it to be "a cozy meeting place for Packers fans and gay tourists", as though there is a distinction.

(Oh, yeah, like you wouldn't have made the same joke. Sheesh).

And for completeness, a Google search of "Rory Hickey" generates 4,360 hits, although clearly not all for the same guy. Conclusion: "kettle of fish" is common vernacular. "Rory Hickey" is "keep choppin' wood" material.

74
by Gruntled (not verified) :: Wed, 10/14/2009 - 10:31pm

A bit late, but it did dawn on me that Ochocinco has a step up on Chuck Norris in that he can divide HIMSELF by zero.

75
by mlc0808 (not verified) :: Thu, 10/15/2009 - 7:05pm

I think Davies' quote is the result of spending all those years on Lou Holtz's staff . . . combining folksy, nonsensical, silly and simplistic is a specialty of his e.g. "the down side of being retired is that you never get a day off" or "running people down and jumping to conclusions is the only exercise your critics ever get". I guess that kind of stuff passed for humor back in the 19th century when Lou was born.

That being said I still really like Holtz and Davies.