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» Week 2 DVOA Ratings

Stomping the Jags leaves Washington No. 2 behind only Denver. But what can we really learn from one big win early in the season, before we are applying opponent adjustments?

24 Aug 2010

This Week In Quotes: August 24, 2010

compiled by Rory Hickey

WITHIN MINUTES HE DECIDED HE WAS WORTHY OF THE ATTENTION

"No one is deserving or worthy of all the attention. Heck, I'm not."

-- Vikings quarterback Brett Favre echoing the sentiment of nearly everyone involved with the saga (Vikings.com)

THE MEDIA HAS ALREADY BEATEN FAVRE TO DEATH

"We have to send messages to every offense about how physical it's going to be when they play us. Those messages are out there, starting with No. 4."

-- Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams promising another beating for Brett Favre during their Week 1 matchup

"Those are just meathead comments. You know what, it is what it is. People trying to get their team fired up."

-- Vikings defensive end Jared Allen (WCCO)

TAVARIS JACKSON MIGHT BE CONSIDERING GOING INTO DAHMER MODE AT THIS POINT

"We were going to do the same thing without him coming back or not. But do I believe it? I don't even know if I care enough to believe it or not to be honest. It's his career; he's got to do what he's got to do. But it doesn't change nothing for us. We're going to have the same goal whether it's Tarvaris (Jackson), Jeffrey Dahmer or Norman Bates quarterbacking. We're still trying to do the same thing."

-- Packers linebacker Nick Barnett on whether he believed media reports of Brett Favre's 'retirement' (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

I'M SURE HE COULD BE THE 12TH MAN FOR THE HEAT

"There's not going to be any football. If there's a lockout, I have to find a job. I figure the Nuggets will be a better choice because of the welcome home cheer I'll get -- a couple of boos at first. I'm gonna get with a basketball coach and get to work, prepare for the lockout."

"Not pursuing -- I'm going to be on an NBA team. Seriously."

-- Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall on his plans if there is an NFL lockout in 2011.

"I've seen him jump -- he's not playing basketball."
-- Dolphins coach Tony Sparano (ESPN)

IT'S NICE TO SEE REX FINALLY OPENING UP

"Great job. We're right where we wanna be. No question about that. Enjoy this time, get away from it. No matter what your doing, it's better than my f**king vacation. I'm cruising the Baltic with my in-laws and sh*t."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan addressing his team on an episode of Hard Knocks (Shutdown Corner)

THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE REVIEW I GOT AFTER GIVING MY FIRST PROSTATE EXAM

"You couldn't see it on his face, but I knew he was nervous because when he got under center and put his hand underneath my rear end, his hand was shaking -- it was quivering. And of course, I didn't say anything, but it's a very awkward feeling for me as well when someone has their hand shaking underneath your rear end."

-- Rams center Jason Brown on rookie quarterback Sam Bradford (NFL Nation Blog)

THAT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES THAT CROMARTIE DIDN'T NAIL IT

"Nah, I didn't have trouble. I mean, they asked me to pause. I had nailed it the one time before but they had to redo it and they just told me to pause between each one of [the names]."

-- Jets corner Antonio Cromartie on the reason he had difficultyremembering the name of his eight kids on an episode of Hard Knocks (New York Post)

I'M NO EXPERT BUT THAT IS AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF WD-40

"I'm alive. It went pretty good. I was kind of off, but a couple of cans of WD-40 and I'll be all right. I need to get in football shape."

-- Bengals right tackle Andre Smith on his first practice since his February (Cincinnati.com)

MICHAEL IRVIN IS THE MAN YOUR MAN COULD SMELL LIKE

"I remember when I was inducted into the Hall of Fame and they gave me my Hall of Fame yellow blazer. I wore it for two straight days. Finally my wife was in bed and said she wanted to make love but that I had to take the coat off. I refused and kept the blazer on because I wanted to perform like a Hall of Famer on the field and off."

-- Hall of Famer Michael Irvin recalling when he was inducted into the Hall of Fame (Chicago Tribune)

I'M MORE OF A LETHAL INJECTION FAN MYSELF

"Number one they should put them all in front of a firing squad and shoot their ass. [Laughs] If you catch guys doing that stuff, because that's wrong. Those guys are grown men and you're taking advantage of 18-, 20- and 21-year-old kids."

-- Grambling University coach Rod Broadway on how to handle the problem of NFL agents on college campuses (College Football Talk)

NICE DRIVE BLOCK!

"I heard everybody cheering during our individual drills, and I knew they weren't hollering about the O-line."

-- Panthers left tackle Jordan Gross on the cheers heard at practice when wide receiver Steve Smith returned to practice after missing time with a broken arm (Charlotte News-Observer)

ANYONE WHO DEZ BRYANTS JUSTIN TUCK WILL GET TIM TEBOWED

"Make sure you don't Dez Bryant me. You guys won't like how it turns out for you."

-- Giants defensive end Justin Tuck addressing Giants rookies alluding to Bryant's decision not to carry Roy Williams' pads (NFL Nation Blog)

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE ...

"I'm not a mad scientist ... I might be out there tomorrow."

-- Eagles defensive back Asante Samuel when asked when he might return to practice (NFL Nation Blog)

For every quote sent to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com, I will donate one dollar to the search for life inside Braylon Edwards' beard

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 24 Aug 2010

24 comments, Last at 26 Aug 2010, 1:18pm by edswood

Comments

1
by John (not verified) :: Tue, 08/24/2010 - 8:04pm

Man, I root for the most boring team in sports. When was the last time a Colts player, coach, or GM appeared here?

3
by tuluse :: Tue, 08/24/2010 - 8:13pm

I think one of them said something about an idiot kicker

4
by HostileGospel :: Tue, 08/24/2010 - 10:05pm

"Goddamnit, Donald?"

--
They must of thought I was the old Osama Bin Laden they made me strip down somethn crucial at the airport sheeeeesh... not djacc I'm str8

-Djacc, via Twitter

9
by starzero :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 8:15am

reggie wayne was quoted on here last season. i forget what he said, just that the comment was how the new coaching let the players talk more. it was more surprising that a colts player said anything at all, i think.

--
hail damage

18
by The Other Ben Johnson (not verified) :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 12:19pm

Reggie Wayne might have had the quote of the year last year with "sometimes you just got to make a choice."

19
by The Other Ben Johnson (not verified) :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 12:20pm

So that's another Colts fan bitching and moaning while everything's going great.

2
by tuluse :: Tue, 08/24/2010 - 8:13pm

I think Irvin wins quote of the year already.

10
by Dean :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 8:31am

His was good, but Jason Brown and Tony Sporano were better.

5
by TheRealJosh (not verified) :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 2:57am

Tiger:Sent: 04"02 PM 08/29/2009:

I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:

You are my f------ w----

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:

Hold you down while i choke you ...

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:

Then im going to tell you to shut the F--- up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

7
by Treima6 (not verified) :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 5:44am

No turkey unless it is a club sandwich

8
by Theo :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 7:20am

this week last year in quotes...

6
by Theo :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 4:31am

I agree, it is what it is and he's got to do what he's got to do.

11
by drobviousso :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 8:40am

-- Grambling University coach Rod Broadway, a grown man drawing a paycheck for coaching a team that's part of a lucrative sports association built on leveraging monopoly power against underpaid 18-, 20- and 21-year-old kids, on how to handle the problem of NFL agents on college campuses.

13
by Josh :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 11:00am

so the 19-year-old kids are fairly compensated? :)

14
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 11:39am

The irony is even more rich when it comes from the mouths of the football coaches from the University of Florida or Alabama. Nothing quite as instructive as being lectured on the evils of greed by Nick Saban. Do these guys have any inkling of what transparent A-holes they appear to be, or are they so used to having their asses kissed that it is completely oblvious to them?

22
by Roscoe :: Thu, 08/26/2010 - 12:44am

Look, I am an LSU fan so I have the right to hate Nick Saban as much as anyone. But lets face it. He has the rare combination of abilities of (1) being able to convince talented athletes (or their mommas) that they need to come to his program, (2) developing them into complete football players, and (3) using them to win lots of football games. I don't see any problem with his earning a salary which is in line with his talents (I just wish it was still LSU paying him). I also don't see a problem with his having a problem with agents that are breaking the rules (and getting his program into trouble).

23
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Thu, 08/26/2010 - 3:33am

I really don't care much about rules that result in a coach earning a 7 figure income, while the players risk their health for 20k a year in tuition, room, and board. If college football is a business, then the players ought to be able to sell their services to the highest bidder, just like a coach, without inteference from a cartel. If college football isn't a business, then coaches shouldn't be paid what guys like Saban make. If Nick Saban want to ear millions coaching, let him go get his ass kicked in the NFL. If he wants to coach in college, then his players ought to be getting some of the pie he keeps to himself.

20
by usedbread (not verified) :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 3:53pm

Since when is the SWAC lucrative?

12
by Basilicus :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 10:56am

"Head coaches without a long contract sometimes struggle to lead and enforce their necessary juice. John Fox has that obstacle heading into 2010..."

It doesn't belong in This Week in Quotes, since it's only from a Fox Sports article, but I thought this'd be the place to figure out what "necessary juice" is and how one might go about enforcing it.

16
by Dean :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 11:56am

I have a hunch that Shawnne Merriman used to know. Maybe Brian Cushing can help us?

15
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 11:44am

The only way to really discipline players who have received a fair amount of guaranteed money in their current contract is to keep them off the field. A coach whose contract is such that a small differences in wins could mean losing his head coaching career is not in a good postion to keep a talented but unprofessional player on the bench.

17
by mathesond :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 12:16pm

"I'M NO EXPERT BUT THAT IS AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF WD-40"

To be fair, he is an excessively sized human being

21
by BGNoMore (not verified) :: Wed, 08/25/2010 - 5:07pm

Dahmer at QB; sweet. He would've eaten up defenses.

24
by edswood (not verified) :: Thu, 08/26/2010 - 1:18pm

I might of shed a tear or two when Herm Edwards lost his job, both for the loss of his quotes, and the lolz of his incompetenancy. However my faith in humanity was restored with Rex Ryan, and Raheem Morris. Seriously, Rex has to be the most quotable coach since John McKay. The whole week in quotes could just be Rex Ryan's first three episodes of Hard Knocks. Still laughing at these guys couldn't play dead in a B western. As for Raheem Morris, you know Brian Billick and Steve Mariucci sit every day on NFL Network, and go WTF? Really? Is this real life?