compiled by Rory Hickey

WITHIN MINUTES HE DECIDED HE WAS WORTHY OF THE ATTENTION

"No one is deserving or worthy of all the attention. Heck, I'm not."

-- Vikings quarterback Brett Favre echoing the sentiment of nearly everyone involved with the saga (Vikings.com)

THE MEDIA HAS ALREADY BEATEN FAVRE TO DEATH

"We have to send messages to every offense about how physical it's going to be when they play us. Those messages are out there, starting with No. 4."

-- Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams promising another beating for Brett Favre during their Week 1 matchup

"Those are just meathead comments. You know what, it is what it is. People trying to get their team fired up."

-- Vikings defensive end Jared Allen (WCCO)

TAVARIS JACKSON MIGHT BE CONSIDERING GOING INTO DAHMER MODE AT THIS POINT

"We were going to do the same thing without him coming back or not. But do I believe it? I don't even know if I care enough to believe it or not to be honest. It's his career; he's got to do what he's got to do. But it doesn't change nothing for us. We're going to have the same goal whether it's Tarvaris (Jackson), Jeffrey Dahmer or Norman Bates quarterbacking. We're still trying to do the same thing."

-- Packers linebacker Nick Barnett on whether he believed media reports of Brett Favre's 'retirement' (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

I'M SURE HE COULD BE THE 12TH MAN FOR THE HEAT

"There's not going to be any football. If there's a lockout, I have to find a job. I figure the Nuggets will be a better choice because of the welcome home cheer I'll get -- a couple of boos at first. I'm gonna get with a basketball coach and get to work, prepare for the lockout."

"Not pursuing -- I'm going to be on an NBA team. Seriously."

-- Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall on his plans if there is an NFL lockout in 2011.

"I've seen him jump -- he's not playing basketball."
-- Dolphins coach Tony Sparano (ESPN)

IT'S NICE TO SEE REX FINALLY OPENING UP

"Great job. We're right where we wanna be. No question about that. Enjoy this time, get away from it. No matter what your doing, it's better than my f**king vacation. I'm cruising the Baltic with my in-laws and sh*t."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan addressing his team on an episode of Hard Knocks (Shutdown Corner)

THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE REVIEW I GOT AFTER GIVING MY FIRST PROSTATE EXAM

"You couldn't see it on his face, but I knew he was nervous because when he got under center and put his hand underneath my rear end, his hand was shaking -- it was quivering. And of course, I didn't say anything, but it's a very awkward feeling for me as well when someone has their hand shaking underneath your rear end."

-- Rams center Jason Brown on rookie quarterback Sam Bradford (NFL Nation Blog)

THAT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES THAT CROMARTIE DIDN'T NAIL IT

"Nah, I didn't have trouble. I mean, they asked me to pause. I had nailed it the one time before but they had to redo it and they just told me to pause between each one of [the names]."

-- Jets corner Antonio Cromartie on the reason he had difficultyremembering the name of his eight kids on an episode of Hard Knocks (New York Post)

I'M NO EXPERT BUT THAT IS AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF WD-40

"I'm alive. It went pretty good. I was kind of off, but a couple of cans of WD-40 and I'll be all right. I need to get in football shape."

-- Bengals right tackle Andre Smith on his first practice since his February (Cincinnati.com)

MICHAEL IRVIN IS THE MAN YOUR MAN COULD SMELL LIKE

"I remember when I was inducted into the Hall of Fame and they gave me my Hall of Fame yellow blazer. I wore it for two straight days. Finally my wife was in bed and said she wanted to make love but that I had to take the coat off. I refused and kept the blazer on because I wanted to perform like a Hall of Famer on the field and off."

-- Hall of Famer Michael Irvin recalling when he was inducted into the Hall of Fame (Chicago Tribune)

I'M MORE OF A LETHAL INJECTION FAN MYSELF

"Number one they should put them all in front of a firing squad and shoot their ass. [Laughs] If you catch guys doing that stuff, because that's wrong. Those guys are grown men and you're taking advantage of 18-, 20- and 21-year-old kids."

-- Grambling University coach Rod Broadway on how to handle the problem of NFL agents on college campuses (College Football Talk)

NICE DRIVE BLOCK!

"I heard everybody cheering during our individual drills, and I knew they weren't hollering about the O-line."

-- Panthers left tackle Jordan Gross on the cheers heard at practice when wide receiver Steve Smith returned to practice after missing time with a broken arm (Charlotte News-Observer)

ANYONE WHO DEZ BRYANTS JUSTIN TUCK WILL GET TIM TEBOWED

"Make sure you don't Dez Bryant me. You guys won't like how it turns out for you."

-- Giants defensive end Justin Tuck addressing Giants rookies alluding to Bryant's decision not to carry Roy Williams' pads (NFL Nation Blog)

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE ...

"I'm not a mad scientist ... I might be out there tomorrow."

-- Eagles defensive back Asante Samuel when asked when he might return to practice (NFL Nation Blog)

For every quote sent to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com, I will donate one dollar to the search for life inside Braylon Edwards' beard

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 24 Aug 2010

24 comments, Last at 26 Aug 2010, 1:18pm by edswood