compiled by Rory Hickey

JAMES HARRISON'S TRAIN IS ALWAYS ON SCHEDULE

"He was running his mouth and getting in the way of the train. And the train wasn't coming off the track. He was popping off down there the first time they were about to score. So you run your mouth, expect to get something. Everything's between the lines, so he got what he had coming."

-- Steelers linebacker James Harrison on why he seemingly went out of his way to hit Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton when Harrison was returning a fumble during the Steelers-Broncos preseason game (Denver Post)

I WONDER WHAT BURRESS HAD TO DO TO GET NUMBER 09-R-3260 IN PRISON

"I said, 'you know what, why don't we do the same deal that I did with Eli. Except I'm kind of re-doing my outdoor kitchen, so I basically told him if he could pay for it we'd be good."

"I never got paid for it. I asked [Burress] for it. Every time I went to Drew [Rosenhaus] he said, 'That's between you and Plax.' Bottom line, I never got paid. He basically stole my number."

-- Giants punter Jeff Feagles on what happened when former Giant Plaxico Burress wanted Feagles' No. 17 when Burress became a member of the Giants in 2005 (Sports Illustrated)

YOU KNOW THAT JOHN MADDEN DOESN'T ACTUALLY DO THE RATINGS RIGHT?

"They got me terrible on Madden, man. I wanna tell Madden that too. You know what's crazy? When I had my little shoulder problem [in 2008], I was 93, 94 speed on Madden. After my shoulder, I came back at about 88. What's my shoulder got to do with my feet? I know I ain't that slow. Madden trippin' on my speed, you know I'm not an 88. He got Fred [Taylor] and them faster than me. I know they ain't faster than me."

-- Patriots running back Laurence Maroney on his speed rating in Madden '11 (Boston.com)

DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO

"Whether the camera is on you or not, you ought not to be using certain language."

-- FOX NFL analyst Brian Billick on Jets' coach Rex Ryan using foul language during Hard Knocks. Using foul language is only acceptable if you're Brian Billick (USA Today)

JAMES TONEY IS TOO GROGGY TO UNDERSTAND THIS ANALOGY

"You talking about the tail whipping we just took? Does it shock me we got our tails whipped like that? Yeah, like that, yeah. There was no fight back or anything. It was like an MMA fight. They put us in a submission hold. Pretty much cut off our oxygen slowly until we had to just tap out."

-- Cowboys wide receiver Patrick Crayton on if he was surprised at how the Cowboys played in their 23-7 preseason loss to the Texans (Tulsa World)

HE LEGALLY HAD TO CHANGE HIS NAME TO STYLEZ AFTER A GAMBLING LOSS

"Stylez is my Allen Iverson, and he's not going to change. He's gotten better. He's gotten better the last couple of days and practiced [better] throughout training camp than he has in the past, but he is Allen Iverson."

-- Buccaneers coach Raheem Morris on the practice habits of Stylez G. White (Tampa Tribune)

HE ALSO SEES A LARGE PEPPERONI PIZZA

"I just know what's going to happen. My crystal ball, I'm seeing a Super Bowl trophy in there. Now, I could be wrong, but that's what I see. But every time I go to work, that's what I look at. I'm not embarrassed to say that I believe that will happen. The great thing is we get to prove it soon. That's the beauty of it."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan on seeing a Super Bowl for the Jets in his crystal ball (Star-Ledger)

HALL WILL ALSO ASK RECEIVERS TO STOP RUNNING ROUTES AT HIM

"I did, I did. She was too tall. If I was 6 feet like [Carlos Rogers], I wouldn't have to do that, but I'm 5-11, so she definitely had to take them heels off for me. She ain't about to make me look bad."

-- Redskins defensive back DeAngelo Hall on making a reporter take off her heels before interviewing him (D.C. Sports Bog)

THEY REALLY DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER

"At some point in time, we're going to play them, and we handle these things on the field. When you're going to be on the field, don't be a crybaby and be Tom Brady, running to the referees and always complaining. Don't be that. We don't do that."

-- Jets nose tackle Kris Jenkins fanning the flames of the Patriots-Jets rivalry (NFL Nation Blog)

MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR A CAREER CHANGE?

"It was all enthusiasm. I was doing it in practice and in preseason camp just messing around, and then I thought, you know, time was right to do it. If I was gonna soar, I might as well do it now 'cause I don't know if I'm gonna get a chance to do it again."

-- Redskins running back Larry Johnson on dunking after scoring a touchdown (D.C. Sports Bog)

A MACADAMIA NUT MIGHT HAVE WORKED BETTER

"We bring the sweet portion to the game. So if you bring one lone chocolate chip, and place it in a single sugar cookie, how much would that chocolate chip stand out? Get my drift?"

-- Rams wide receiver Mardy Gilyard explaining why his nickname for fellow wide receiver Danny Amendola is White Chocolate while the rest of the receiving corps are sugar cookies (Post-Dispatch)

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Posted by: Rory Hickey on 31 Aug 2010

32 comments, Last at 02 Sep 2010, 10:33am by Bill Heffner