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The Week in Quotes

Football players (and coaches and front-office people) say the darndest things

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03 Dec 2010

The Week in Quotes: December 3, 2010

compiled by Rory Hickey

LUTUI TOLD ANDERSON THAT QATAR IS HOSTING THE WORLD CUP IN 2022

Kent Somers: "I don't mean this to be sarcastic, or pointed, but [footage of you laughing] went out on Monday night television, and a lot of fans are talking about it right now as a big problem with this team. Can you put into context what was going on at that moment, and what caused you to ..."[Gets cut off]

Derek Anderson: "What Deuce and I talk about is nobody else's business."

Somers: "But why was something funny when you're down 18 points in the fourth quarter?"

Anderson: "It wasn't funny -- I wasn't laughing about anything."

Somers: "But the cameras showed you laughing ..."[Gets cut off]

Anderson: "OK, that's fine. That's fine, that's fine, that's fine. That's fine. I'm not laughing about it. You think this is funny? I take this [bleep] serious! Real serious! I put my heart and soul into this [bleep] every single week!"

Somers: "All I'm saying is that the cameras showed you ..."[Gets cut off again]

Anderson: "I'm just telling you right now what I do every single week! Every single week! I put my freakin' heart and soul into this, I study my ass off! I don't go out there and laugh! It's not funny! Nothing's funny to me! I don't want to go out there and get embarrassed on Monday Night Football in front of everybody!"

Somers: "But that's why I'm asking you ..."

Anderson: "I'm telling you right now! We were talking! Deuce and I were talking!"

Somers: "What was the context of the ..."

Anderson: "I'm done."

-- Exchange between Cardinals quarterback Derek Anderson and Arizona Republic reporter Kent Somers after the Cardinals 27-6 loss to the 49ers. During the game, cameras showed Anderson briefly smiling on the sideline with teammate Deuce Lutui when the Cardinals were down by 18 points (NFL.com)

WOW THIS GUY IS NOT HAPPY WITH GRUDEN

"Blame for this non-issue being an issue starts with the Monday Night Football production team. You see that you have caught the quarterback in a candid moment. Exercise some restraint here. Maybe they saw someone trip and fall. That's always funny. Even in a blowout loss. Even at a funeral. But we're talking about Jon Gruden here, and to Gruden, diabolical football robot blowhard, losing a football game is worse than someone dying. This is not hyperbole. He's the kind of football coach you don't want to play for. Sure, he knows his [bleep]. But he's also a guy who'll throw a player under the bus on national television just for not being adequately sad-faced. You saw what he did to Derek Anderson. Imagine how he treated his players behind closed doors."

-- Former Broncos tight end Nate Jackson in an article on Deadspin defending former teammate Derek Anderson's brief smile on the sidelines, in which he disparaged ESPN analyst and former NFL coach Jon Gruden's criticism of Anderson (Deadspin)

TOO BAD GOD DIDN'T SEE THIS BECAUSE HE'S STILL ON FRIENDSTER

"I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO ..."

-- Bills receiver Steve Johnson questioning His Holiness on his Twitter account following Buffalo's 19-16 loss. Johnson dropped the would-be game winning touchdown pass in overtime (Twitter)

AFTER SEEING MIAMI'S RECORD SINCE ENTERING THE ACC, TRUMP RECOMMENDED FILING FOR BANKRUPTCY AND REJOINING THE BIG EAST

"Donna -- You made a big mistake when you did not take my advice and hire Mike Leach of Texas Tech -- look what happened to them since he left ... Hire Coach Leach and you will be #1 -- And you can now get him for the right price. Best wishes, Donald."

-- Business entrepreneur Donald Trump's letter to University of Miami President Donna Shalala this week, suggesting the Hurricanes hire former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach to replace the departed Randy Shannon (Palm Beach Post)

I SCORED THE ROUND 10-8 TO JOHNSON FOR HIS EFFECTIVE AGGRESSION AND FACEMASK GENERALSHIP

"Don't get frustrated."

-- Texans receiver Andre Johnson to Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan during Sunday's Texans-Titans game, just prior to Johnson getting frustrated and landing some blows on Finnegan during a skirmish which resulted in both players' ejections (NFL.com)

HARRISON OBVIOUSLY HASN'T CHECKED THE NFL'S RULE 9, SECTION 3, ARTICLE 3, NOTE 4 WHICH ALLOWS FOR "SHENANIGANS IN REGARDS TO ENFORCEMENT OF FINES"

"It's starting to look like it's OK to cheat, it's OK to fight, but if you hit somebody too hard, we're going to fine you a whole bunch. Maybe it's because I play for the Steelers, who knows?"

-- Steelers linebacker James Harrison expressing his continuing frustration with the NFL's fining policy after the Finnegan-Johnson clash led to each being fined just $25,000. Harrison has been fined a total of $125,000 for four illegal hits this season (ESPN)

THEY SAY DEPTH PERCEPTION IS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS TO GO

"Did I expect to run for the first down? I hadn't expected to run for a first down in quite a while. ... It was 10 yards, really? It felt like 50."

-- Vikings quarterback Brett Favre after his team's 17-13 win over the Redskins. His 10-yard scramble on third-and-8 late in the fourth quarter helped seal the victory (Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

GOOD THING NO ONE ON THE JETS SAID ANYTHING ABOUT UGGS

"Do I still hate them? Well, I promised Coach Belichick that I wouldn't say anything derogatory, so, I have no comment."

-- Patriots quarterback Tom Brady issuing a fierce no comment when asked if he still hates the Jets, which he said before the season (The Star-Ledger)

COME ON PEYTON, YOU'RE CERTAINLY THE BEST WHITE RUNNING BACK SINCE ... WELL YEAH

"That's just absurd. Those guys are legends and I'm nobody. So there's really no need to talk about that anymore."

-- Browns running back Peyton Hillis when told that he's joined Hall of Famers Jim Brown and Leroy Kelly as the only backs in team history to rush for more than 11 touchdowns in a season (Cleveland Plain-Dealer)

AQIB HASN'T BEEN THIS MAD ABOUT JUDGMENT CALLS SINCE BRISTOL PALIN ADVANCED SO FAR IN DANCING WITH THE STARS

Talib: "You made a p------ call."

Official:"You played like a p------."

Talib: "I'll [hit] you in your [expletive] [expletive] mouth!"

-- Buccaneers cornerback Aqib Talib using an expletive to describe a pass-interference call, to which the unidentified member of referee Carl Cheffers' crew responded. Talib did not seem to appreciate this (Tampa Bay Online, Sporting News)

Happy Hanukkah to all FO readers! For those who don't know the origins, Hanukkah is a holiday commemorating the miracle of Jimmy Johnson's hair containing enough gel to adequately style the hair of eight men. Send a quote to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 03 Dec 2010

46 comments, Last at 07 Dec 2010, 3:35am by tuluse

Comments

1
by MilkmanDanimal :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 1:27pm

The TWIQ award this week is a tough battle between Derek Anderson and Steve Johnson.

2
by Paul R :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 1:30pm

"...in your [expletive][expletive]mouth!"

Okay, that's going to keep me up all night. What could it be?
Does "mother" qualify as an expletive in this case?

6
by dcaslin :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:09pm

On a related note. What is the P-word? I can't figure out a single P word or conjugation thereof that makes sense in both Talib's and the refs statements... Are they two different P-words?

9
by Sander :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:21pm

It's a synonym for a certain female body part, or a cat.

19
by Corey S. (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:16pm

p------ has seven letters. The obvious P word does not fit.

24
by Rory Hickey :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:10pm

Yeah the Tampa Bay Online had that many dashes after the P but the Sporting News link says Talib "used a crude anatomical term to critique the call" so I think we can assume the obvious word is the one that was used.

"You play to win the game" - Herm

34
by Paul R :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 8:11pm

"Pharynx?"

39
by Sander :: Sat, 12/04/2010 - 11:15am

It had 5 letters in the early reports/tweets right after the game. It's that word.

7
by Mattigus :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:10pm

It was "I'll hit you in your b**** a** mouth!"

15
by Paul R :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:04pm

Okay, that works. It should have been hyphenated. That's what threw me.

3
by Balaji (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 1:35pm

Diabolical Football Robot Blowhards is so the name of my next band.

4
by ABW (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 1:56pm

This was a good week.

And I'm a Patriots fan, and even I think James Harrison is getting shafted at this point.

27
by prs130 (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:46pm

Nothing that Andre Johnson, Cortland Finnegan, or Richard Seymour did is going to result in a stretcher being brought out. The kind of hits -- against defenseless receivers -- that are resulting in big fines can end a career and cause all kinds of long term damage. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Webster http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andre_Waters http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Long_%28American_football%29. It's silly to compare life-altering hits that Harrison dishes out to a bit of fisticuffs and wonder why one gets a bigger fine.

33
by Cro-Mags (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 6:18pm

Well, Rudy Tomjanovich might disagree about the punch not leading to stretchers.

And there is a vast difference between what James Harrison does (aggressive, intimidating, hard tackling) and what Andre Waters did (outright head hunting and knee-capping).

37
by Eddo :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 9:33pm

I'm pretty sure Andre Waters was cited not as a dirty player, but rather as a player whose head injuries led to a premature death. Concussions were believed to be a cause for his suicide.

And while I do agree that the punishments for Finnegan and Johnson were laughably light, Harrison's not helping his "I need to be a tough guy" case by whining every chance he gets. The vast majority of players simply sucked it up and realized they need to be more careful when tackling.

40
by RickD :: Sun, 12/05/2010 - 2:46am

Darryl Stingley wouldn't disagree.

If he were still alive, that is.

5
by justme_cd :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:01pm

Is it possible to fix the italics?

How did I miss Talib's exchange? Was it broadcast in-game?

13
by johnnyxel :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:55pm

It was after the game. The officials' changing room was close to the Bucs' locker room, and the exchange was in the hallway between them.

8
by Led :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:17pm

Did Nate Jackson ever play for Gruden?

Diabolical Football Robot Blowhard....Robopundit?

I like the Stevie Johnson quote because it reminds me of a joke by a comic I can't remember making fun of the fact that athletes only mention God after wins: "We were doing great until Jesus made me fumble."

11
by NoraDaddy :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:29pm

Trying to fix italics.

20
by jjewell (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:35pm

I believe the name you are looking for is Jeff Stilson.

28
by socctty :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:47pm

I really think it was George Carlin. Maybe it was David Cross or Bill Maher, but I'm pretty sure it was Carlin.

30
by Led :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 5:39pm

That particular quote was Stilson -- I googled it. Figures because that name is totally unfamiliar to me. If it was one of those other guys (especially Carlin) I would've remembered it. Carlin had a similar bit, which the Stilson guy probably ripped off.

32
by Cro-Mags (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 6:14pm

It's an old Carlin but:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXV0VKX2m6Q

38
by Beloit_Fairy (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 10:05pm

Several well-known comedians, including Carlin and Stilson, have worked that premise. When the kernel of a bit is topical and "public domain," the definitive take is usually the best material, not the first. Many comedians worked on Hot Pockets before Gaffigan's excellent chunk drove everyone off of it.

10
by RaxGrissman :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:28pm

I thought the Derek Anderson interview was awesome, but did anyone else think the question was stupid? It was barely a laugh, if even a laugh. If it was a laugh, it would have been one of those self-deprecating laughs. What do you want the guy to do... stare glumly at the field? Yell at people?

Fact is that sideline cameras are basically non-sexual voyeurism (unless it's Tom Brady, it seems like). And out of context you can misunderstand a lot of things, especially if you only get like a two second camera shot.

What would happen if two-second snippets of our lives were played on national TV? Hate to think of it.

25
by dmb :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:11pm

No, you're not the only one; I suggest you read this week's Walkthrough (and if you choose, the comments for it).

35
by Whatev :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 8:29pm

So if it's Tom Brady then it's sexual voyeurism?

41
by RickD :: Sun, 12/05/2010 - 2:52am

The question was worse than stupid, it was based on a false premise. Derek Anderson was not laughing, and even after he insisted that he had not been laughing, the jackass reporter kept insisting that the videotape showed something that it didn't show.
And yes, Jon Gruden is a douche, too. Apparently people are only allowed to respond to terrible circumstances in a way that Gruden dictates to be appropriate. I would hazard a guess that he found it inappropriate that Joe Montana spotted John Candy during the Super Bowl.
But since he took Tony Dungy's team to the Super Bowl and beat the worst-coached team in Super Bowl history*, he's a coaching genius. Blecch.

*Not going to argue this point. It should be manifestly obvious.

42
by RickD :: Sun, 12/05/2010 - 2:59am

Derek Anderson should have followed the lead of Frank TJ Mackey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiKPCOaDhfo

43
by Jon Silverberg (not verified) :: Mon, 12/06/2010 - 2:49am

What I remember about that game was Gannon throwing 5 picks (against the 10 he threw in starting all 16 regular season games). While you don't have to give credit to Tampa's defense for those picks, it seems perverse to lay them at the doorstep of the head coach. What I know about Callahan since that game is 1) he was fired by Al Davis, 2) he was fired by a big-time NCAA football program, and 3) he's been a great offensive line/assistant head coach for the Jets. That's three things in his favor.

45
by Eddo :: Mon, 12/06/2010 - 10:47am

The worst-coached characterization comes from the fact that Callahan did not change any signals from the Gruden regime, so the Buccaneers knew a lot of what the Raiders were about to run.

46
by tuluse :: Tue, 12/07/2010 - 3:35am

Of course Gruden did build that Raiders team which was in the Super Bowl.

12
by Will Allen :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:50pm

If only Jon Gruden would start tweeting The Almighty, then we could have some real entertainment...."What are you #@*&%*% smiling at, you #@*&%*%* *&%$#@*@$&**! #@%* You, Lord!"

16
by RaxGrissman :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:06pm

Nice

14
by NJBammer :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:59pm

I respect the man. At least he believes in God enough to blame Him for something. Most people I know don't take God seriously enough to think He could have a hand in anything.

26
by drobviousso :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:41pm

His follow up tweets where pretty interesting to read, too. He clearly has more than a 'back of the cereal box' level of though about his beliefs, which is pretty refreshing.

I don't go in too much for the human interest stories in sports, but Johnson seems like a great story. I'm really pulling for him to have a long, productive career.

36
by greybeard :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 9:01pm

Respect his consistency in his beliefs, but why respect a man that blames God, or anybody else, for his errors?

17
by TomC :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:08pm

I see that Nate Jackson is one of those pathetic losers who doesn't understand that NFL football is the most important thing in the entire world.. I pity him.

18
by starzero :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:16pm

for some reason it feels like it's been a while since twiq was this focused and fun. someone took the microphone away from the wrong guys.

i have to give the ref credit for calling it like he sees it. i'm sure it's not the first time someone's been penalized for playing like a p----.

--
hail damage

21
by Bobby Wommack (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:45pm

Alot of Gruden's former players hate his guts. I remember watching an interview on NFL network with Derrick Brooks, Warren Sapp and a couple other Buc players talking about how everyone called Gruden two-faced because he would tell every player "he loved them," but would talk shit behind their back, even to other players. Even Sapp was like, I like Gruden, but that's just how he is, everyone knows it.

Not someone I would want coaching my team, even though he's a media darling for all of the upcoming coaching vacancies.

22
by Yuri (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:46pm

This was a good TWIC--don't care for Brady quote, but the rest were pretty excellent.

23
by Yuri (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:46pm

Does this fix the italics?

29
by Jim C. (not verified) :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 5:39pm

How did you guys miss this comment from Terrell "T-Sizzle" Suggs, as reported in the Baltimore Sun:

Asked how he elevated his play this season from 2009, Sizzle said with a deadpan expression and tongue in cheek:

"I quit doing cocaine."

As reporters around his locker stall roared in laughter at the obvious joke, he quickly moved to emphasize it was a joke.

"I'm just playing, I'm just playing," he said. "I've never taken cocaine. My mom's going to kill me. ... I'm just playing, I'm just joking."

44
by Kevin from Philly :: Mon, 12/06/2010 - 8:42am

Cocaine's a hell of a drug.

31
by commissionerleaf :: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 6:13pm

For the record, FO, "His Holiness" is a term generally referring to the Pope, not to God Himself. Although how do we know what SJ was thinking? He Catholic?

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