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09 Feb 2010

The Week in Quotes: February 9, 2010

compiled by Rory Hickey

IF I HAD ONE GUESS THEN I GUESS I'M JUST NEW ORLEANS

"This thing laid in my bed next to me last night. I probably drooled on it."

-- Saints coach Sean Payton on sleeping with the Lombardi Trophy on Sunday night. (The Huddle)

"You gotta be kiddin' me. It doesn't get any better."

-- Payton, who wore jeans and a t-shirt to the press conference.

I DIDN'T KNOW COACHES TALKED TO THE KICKERS AND PUNTERS

"Coach told me as soon as we got here at halftime. So I sat here at my locker terrified for about twenty minutes scared to death."

-- Saints punter/kickoff specialist Thomas Morstead on his thoughts after coach Sean Payton told him they were going to attempt an onside kick on the kickoff to open the second half. (NFL Nation Blog)

JOHN BONHAM PLAYING MOBY DICK FOR REAL!

"It's the Catalina wine mixer!"

-- An unknown Saints player in the locker room after the Saints' 31-17 victory in the Super Bowl. (The Huddle)

HE GAVE TRACY PORTER A GREAT GIFT ON SUNDAY

"Watches. Suits, custom suits. Stereo systems. Sony Blu-ray players before they even got on the market. He takes care of his guys."

-- Colts lerft guard Ryan Lilja on quarterback Peyton Manning‘s gift-giving abilities.

"He took me to Augusta National, and it was the time of my life."

-- Colts center Jeff Saturday. (The Huddle)

THAT'S NOT WHAT KIM KARDASHIAN WAS THINKING ...

"Man I was thinking ‘We're Super Bowl champs, baby,'. But I was thinking, ‘As long as Peyton Manning had that ball'... he had that ball for a little bit. He scared us at the end. ... We were all a little nervous when he got the ball back in his hands because we knew three minutes can be an eternity."

-- Saints running back Reggie Bush on what his thoughts were after Tracy Porter‘s interception for a touchdown. (The Huddle)

SOMEBODY SHOULD REALLY CALL THE COMPETITION COMMITTEE. OH WAIT ...

"I don't know if he wants me to say this, but the whole game plan was me getting 2,000 yards. He had a meeting with the whole team and he told us that we don't have a chance to make the playoffs, so us winning the game really don't matter. So if it causes us to lose the game to get 2,000 yards, then we'll do that it. So I give a lot of credit to Jeff Fisher."

-- Titans running back Chris Johnson on coach Jeff Fisher‘s game plan to get Johnson to 2,000 yards, as opposed to winning their Week 17 game. (Pro Football Talk)

THAT'S NOT THE THREE THAT TIGER WOODS WOULD PULL OUT ...

"It's almost like being a caddy. What club should I use? Oh, maybe a three-iron."

-- Saints quarterback coach Joe Lombardi, grandson of Vince Lombardi, on what it is like coaching a veteran star like quarterback Drew Brees. It's the last TWIQ of the year. I needed to reach my Tiger Woods joke quota. (USA Today)

DO WHAT I DID AND JOIN THE TODAY SHOW. LOOK HOW WELL THAT WORKED OUT FOR ME.

"Adrian Peterson, I think, needs to be told directly, almost as an affront to his pride, ‘You are hurting your team. You're becoming more of a liability than you are an asset to your football team.' And that hurts. When Coach Coughlin told that to me, it hurt me and I had to find a way to correct it, but … he told me how to fix it, and I took it to heart and it really helped me craft my game. And Adrian Peterson needs some of that same tough love, because right now it's hard to get tough on Adrian Peterson because he's so damn good."

-- Former Giants running back Tiki Barber on Vikings running back Adrian Peterson‘s fumbling problems. (NFL Nation Blog)

THE NEW ORLEANS BUS DRIVERS WERE CERTAINLY NOT MARCHING TO WORK ON MONDAY. NO ONE'S EVER USED THAT JOKE RIGHT?

"This year we don't think canceling is an option. The kids need to be in school. I can't tell a bus driver you should get to bed early, but we want to avoid an issue like in 2007."

-- Indianapolis schools spokesperson Kim Hooper on Indianapolis potentially starting school two hours later than normal the day after the Super Bowl. When the Colts won the Super Bowl in 2007, so many school bus drivers called in sick on the following Monday that officials cancelled classes system-wide. (Indianapolis Star)

CONCUSSION JOKES ARE NEVER NOT FUNNY

"I have came to the concussion it is time for me to retire from football."

-- Seahawks left tackle Walter Jones, presumably joking around about his potential retirement on Twitter. (Twitter)

I WILL HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL YOU PUT ME IN THE GAME

"I'm not going to be a back-up player, I can promise you that. I'll stop playing football before I do that ever again."

-- Giants defender Osi Umenyiora on not wanting to be a backup. (Newark Star-Ledger)

YOU'VE JUST WON THE SUPER BOWL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NEXT? I'M GOING TO HISTORY CLASS!!

"The fleur-de-lis symbol dates back to the French monarchy. So much of New Orleans' culture comes from the time when we were under French rule. That's just a big part of the culture. It's a big part of what New Orleans is all about. So when you look at that symbol, it is the symbol of the city. It's just like when you look at the American flag when you sing the National Anthem and you stare at it, it makes you well up with pride a little bit. When we see the fleur-de-lis, it makes us well up with pride."

-- Saints quarterback/historian Drew Bress enlightening us all. (NFL Nation Blog)

PETER KING THOUGHT HE SAID "NUMBER FOUR"

"Not bad for number 24."

-- Saints coach Sean Payton to Sports Illustrated's Peter King, after King had ranked the Saints #24 in his preseason power rankings. (Monday Morning QB … obviously)

WHO LIKES JOEY PORTER OTHER THAN JOEY PORTER?

"You got a Pro Bowl player, asking to play. If you let us just fight for the job, it's not even an argument. No shots to nobody, but it's not even an argument. All them guys in my room, love them to death, but at outside linebacker, I'm the best one we got, period. There's nothing to even talk about. Who am I switching with? Why should I be switching out with any of them guys? If you want to put Cameron Wake in the game, go ahead and good luck to you. Let me go find a new job somewhere."

-- Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter on his playing time, or lack thereof. (NFL Nation Blog)

SIMON COWELL MIGHT KILL LARRY PLATT TO PROVE A POINT

"As a songwriter I know we all aspire to write something that is catchy and has a message. And I think the youth of America can learn a lot from Pants on the Ground. And they can pull their pants up ... because it causes all kinds of back problems. I've seen the studies."

-- National anthem singer Carrie Underwood on the cultural significance of Pants on the Ground (Perez Hilton)

THE DOG BOWL IS TO THE PUPPY BOWL AS THE UFL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME IS TO THE SUPER BOWL

"Oh, man, it definitely stinks, to be honest."

-- Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward on judging Dog Bowl 2010 Thursday in Miami instead of playing in the Super Bowl, as he did last year. (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

PEYTON MANNING HAS AS MANY TITLES AS TRENT DILFER

"Hey I'm sure when Peyton Manning was growing up he always wanted to throw the TD pass that gave the Saints a Super Bowl win. Now he has."

-- ESPN's Jorge Arangure on Colts quarterback Peyton Manning‘s interception in the fourth quarter which was returned for a touchdown. (Twitter)

IF I WERE PEYTON MANNING I WOULD NOT THROW AN INTERCEPTION RIGHT HERE

"If I'm the New Orleans Saints, I would not blitz here -- I would put the extra men in coverage."

-- CBS color commentator Phil Simms right before the Tracy Porter interception. Obviously, the Saints blitzed. (Shutdown Corner)

This Week in Quotes is no more for this year. It's not you, it's me. Leave your favorite headline of the season in the comments section, or the one you hated the least, if you're into that type of thing. And look for The Month in Quotes sporadically during the offseason.

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 09 Feb 2010

22 comments, Last at 17 Feb 2010, 12:10pm by buzzorhowl

Comments

1
by apk3000 :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:15pm

And apparently Portis said something about LaVar Arrington that caused this rant.

2
by MilkmanDanimal :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:27pm

Ending the season with Phil Simms being an idiot. Seems an appropriate finish.

8
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 2:55pm

Naturally - because that's the way the season started. And continued, throughout.

3
by Theo :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:31pm

“Hey I’m sure when Peyton Manning was growing up he always wanted to throw the TD pass that gave the Saints a Super Bowl win. Now he has.”

That's the best one in a long time.

4
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:58pm

When I saw Carrie Underwood, I thought Fat Elvis had been reincarnated and had come back as a petite blonde woman. It woulda' been great if she had broken into "Suspicious Minds" right after The National Anthem....

7
by MCS :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 2:44pm

I'll admit it, I was thinking Ice Cream Truck Driver stripper costume.

9
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 2:57pm

I missed it, did she have on the "TCB" belt buckle?

12
by Will Allen (not verified) :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 3:32pm

Merely an oversight. I did think she said, in a husky voice, "Thang'yu very much" after she was done....

5
by velvetglove99 (not verified) :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 1:14pm

Is Walter Jones actually sneaky funny, or I am making this up?

6
by Harris :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 2:34pm

Kim Kardashian was thinking, "I still can't believe that bastard Ray J. got it in my eyes."

Hail Hydra!

10
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 3:03pm

I went out for pizza at the half and the radio announcer (Jim Nantz, I think) had a great "By the way, which one's Pink" moment: he said "And now, you can hear The Who in the background, playing their famous song 'Pinball Wizard'". Except they were playing "Baba O'Riley".

22
by buzzorhowl (not verified) :: Wed, 02/17/2010 - 12:10pm

In fairness to Nantz (or whoever), they started with the intro to "Pinball Wizard," but when it would have gone into the first verse, they instead switched to "Baba O'Riley."

11
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 3:26pm

Doesn't Chris Johnson's comment about Jeff Fisher putting the 2,000 yards above the win mean that Roger Goodell should be taking action? I'm pretty certain that was the story when the Colts let up against the Jets. At least the Colts could say they were trying to win albeit with their second stringers ...

13
by Treima (not verified) :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 4:05pm

By that same token, you could say that the Titans were attempting to win, albeit with Chris Johnson as the sole engine of the offense.

14
by Eddo :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 4:05pm

And Jeff Fisher could say, "Chris is exaggerating; besides, I felt that giving him the ball *was* the best way to win."

15
by Malene, Cph (not verified) :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 6:13pm

Or he Jeff Fisher could say, "this is the only way to give the ball to Chris Johnson all the damn time and still not ruin Vince Young's confidence".

16
by Still Alive (not verified) :: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 10:50pm

WHat on earth si funny about Drew Brees (more or less) knowing his history?

17
by Danish Denver-Fan :: Wed, 02/10/2010 - 4:58am

That spam-filter adjustment, probably went a bit too far..

18
by Dean :: Wed, 02/10/2010 - 10:50am

Boy, that was a uggly stretch of posts there.

19
by Harris :: Wed, 02/10/2010 - 11:06am

*rimshot*

Hail Hydra!

20
by Dean :: Wed, 02/10/2010 - 12:01pm

Thanks. And remember, the 10:00 show is completely different. I'll be here all night. Don't forget to tip your bartender.

21
by Kevin from Philly :: Wed, 02/10/2010 - 3:25pm

Unless you get booted.