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05 Mar 2010

This Week in Quotes: March 5, 2010

compiled by Rory Hickey

ROGER GOODELL THINKS YOU ARE ASININE

"[T]hey spend three or four years with a strength coach on a college campus and as soon as the season's over they go somewhere else to some guy who doesn't know them from a hole in the wall and pay this guy a bunch of money. It doesn't make any sense at all. It used to be that they had to pay for it and now it's part of the agent deal. They've cultivated a whole industry out of it. It doesn't make sense. It's actually asinine that if I go to school in Florida, now I have to go to Arizona to train. If I go to school in Arizona, I have to go to Georgia to train. These guys have the best facilities and the best people working with them year round and now all the sudden they got to go somewhere else. You don't need to go away. A football player is a football player."

-- Bengals coach Marvin Lewis on the preparation for the NFL Combine being "asinine."(Sports Radio Interviews)

IT'S CERTAINLY A BETTER ENDORSMENT THAN FROM DR. ACULA

"That took a lot of pressure off of us right away because Dr. Schefter cleared him medically. We feel really good about the health status of Sam Bradford with Dr. Schefter giving him a clean bill of health and guaranteeing our pick. So we're on to the second round."

-- Rams GM Billy Devaney commenting on ESPN's Adam Schefter's proclamation that the Rams were going to take Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford with the No.1 overall pick. (Pro Football Talk)

YOU DID RECEIVE MEL KIPER'S "TOTALLY FAVORITE LINEMAN OF ALL-TIME"AWARD

"I know I didn't get any honors, but I feel my self-accomplishments were better than winning a medal or anything else.''

-- Maryland offensive tackle Bruce Campbell on running a 4.78 40-yard dash, one of the fastest times for a lineman ever. (Monday Morning Quarterback)

HOPEFULLY YOU ARE AT LEAST AN AMBITURNER

"Ping pong. Bowling. I guess if I played tennis it would be left. Anything to do with a throwing motion is left. And then I write with my right hand, eat with my right, I golf right, I kick right footed. So I'm pretty weird.”

-- Oregon State quarterback Sean Canfield on the oddity of being ambidextrous. (Globe-Democrat)

AND HE ONLY KNEW THAT BECAUSE BILL BELICHICK TOLD HIM FIRST

"Funny story, I spoke with Coach Weis before the season, before we played a down, before camp. He told me unless you have around 1,500 yards and around sixteen or seventeen touchdowns, I should not leave early. I had 1,500 yards and I think fifteen touchdowns, so he was right there with that fact."

-- Notre Dame WR Golden Tate on what former coach Charlie Weis told him before spring practice. At least he was right about something. (ESPN Chicago)

I HAD A DREAM TO BE THE MOST DEVOUT CHRISTIAN ON THE TEAM ...

"When I first got to Florida I had a little dream, I was going to play quarterback, but they had somebody named Tebow there, so that kind of went out then window. Then I hanged to receiver and I was second-string behind Percy, I just couldn't get right."

-- University of Florida defensive back Joe Haden on his previous dreams of being an offensive player. (USA Today)

MIKE MAYOCK IS SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW

"My boys Mel Kiper and Todd McShay, I wish they could pick because they've got me up there. But it's not their choice."

-- Haden on his position on draft boards. (USA Today)

IN HIGH SCHOOL I ONCE DID NOT HAVE THIRDS AT DINNER

"I did it in high school. Why not?"

-- Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh on potentially kicking field goals in the NFL. Suh played soccer before he started playing football. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

I DID THAT IN PEE WEE FOOTBALL TOO

"One time in little league play, I tackled three people. The quarterback, he didn't know who to give it to, so I just grabbed everybody. It was right then that I was like, 'I might [be able] to play this.' Everybody just looked at me like, 'Did he just grab three people?' That right there should let you know how big a kid I was."

-- Oklahoma defensive tackle Gerald McCoy on when he realized he might be good at the whole football thing. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

OR TO THE PROPOSED NFL OVERTIME RULE

"As far as my cohorts at Oxford, my classmates, my friends who were Rhodes Scholars they really didn't understand why I woke up at six every morning to train. I tried to explain to them the importance of it and why I had to go through these particular events and it still didn't make too much sense to them. So I tried to change the topic to the United Nations topic or world hunger or something like that."

-- Former Florida State defensive back and Rhodes Scholar Myron Rolle on the peculiarity to Rhodes Scholars of his training regimen. (Jacksonville.com)

A FALCON, A COAL WORKER, AND A PUNTER WALK INTO A BAR

"The Atlanta Falcons special teams coach and the Pittsburgh special teams coaches, there was one other one I can't remember, they sat me down and said, 'Tell us a joke.' I was like, 'Uhhh, I wasn't prepared for this.' I told this joke that was so bad and they were like, 'OK, let's just get your cell phone number and stuff for draft day.' I stopped them and said, 'I have to apologize for that bad joke.' They were just looking at each other like, 'OK, let's move on.'”

-- Michigan punter Zoltan Mesko on the toughest question he got on draft day. (Akron Beacon Journal)

YOU BEING FROM TENNESSEE, YOU'RE THE ONLY TEN I SEE

"You being a Native American, would you have reservations about playing for the Redskins?”

-- An unknown reporter asking a question to Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford, who had been trying to shout out the question for at least five minutes. (Sports Illustrated)

BY NEXT SEPTEMBER REX WILL LOOK LIKE 'THE SITUATION'

"Hey, I am working on those abs a little bit I think. I thought I had the fighting strap attached to the t-shirt. Apparently I didn't. Big mistake But I appreciate everybody having such a special interest in that.”

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan in his combine opening statement, on what he has been doing during the offseason. He was alluding to an incident at a Hurricanes hockey game in which he took his shirt off.

"I can promise you one thing, we are coming after each and every one of [the teams we play next year] with guns a-blazing. So get ready and strap it up tight, because here we come."

-- Ryan, displaying some of his familiar swagger. (New York Post)

I MEAN I OWN MULTIPLE FUR COATS, BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT

"The story is crazy. I don't even own a pair of alligator shoes."

-- Redskins owner Dan Snyder on a false report that said he paid $600,000 for two alligator leather desks with matching alligator-skin chairs. (Pro Football Talk)

SAYING YOU OVERREACTED IS LIKE SAYING I LIKE TO BREATHE

"I've basically told them that I overreacted."

-- Oregon running back LeGarette Blount on the infamous incident where he punched a Boise State player in the face after a loss. (Comcast Sportsnet)

WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN

"You know what, we need more players like Steven Jackson. We can't be poop-canning him out of the building. You know what I mean?”

-- Rams GM Billy Devaney on speculation that the team might possibly get rid of running back Stephen Jackson. (The Huddle)

LAST MILLENNIUM BEING THE CUT PERSON TO ROY JONES WOULD HAVE BEEN IMPRESSIVE

"She's a cut woman. She started with a few amateur fights, and then has always been very close to Antonio Tarver. I don't know exactly how it worked out, but all of a sudden she's working his corner. She's worked Roy Jones and other fights. It's very exciting. I see her and she's smiling, having a good time. I love it. She lives to brag about me. I brag about her."

-- South Florida wide receiver Carlton Mitchell talking about his mother Angela, who works as a cut woman for some notable boxers including Antonio Tarver. (Sports Illustrated)

HE'S CERTAINLY NO THOMAS EDISON

"A couple people have said I invented the Wildcat. I think I did some pretty good things in high school with the Wildcat.”

-- Fresno State running back Ryan Matthews on the perception that he invented the Wildcat.

But I really can't pass that good, so it wasn't really my forte."

-- Matthews on the only the only thing holding him back from being top Wildcat (Patriots.com)

ALA LEBRON, IN A FEW DAYS JEAN-PIERRE WILL CHANGE HIS ANSWER TO SIX

"I can do 23 if I have to. I only did fourteen that day because that's all I needed to do to beat [challenger and teammate] Kion Wilson. If Kion had somehow done fifteen, I would have done 23. I can do 23 no matter what -- without stopping.''

-- USF defensive end Jean-Pierre Paul on how many back flips he could potentially do. (Tampa Bay Online)

AT LEAST GOING COMMANDO WASN'T ONE OF THE CHOICES

"Someone asked me if I wore a g-string or a jock strap when I played."

-- Oklahoma defensive tackle Gerald McCoy (Pro Football Talk)

Send a quote to Football Outsiders with your 40-yard dash time and the amount of times you can bench press 225 pounds included as well.

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 05 Mar 2010

18 comments, Last at 07 May 2010, 3:36pm by panthersnbraves

Comments

1
by Eddo :: Fri, 03/05/2010 - 5:41pm

"An unknown reporter asking a question to Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford, who had been trying to shout out the question for at least five minutes."

Odd that Bradford would have to struggle to shout out a question at his own press conference. :P

</end grammar criticism>

4
by SteveNC (not verified) :: Fri, 03/05/2010 - 6:02pm

Clearly the correct punctuation is as follows:

An unknown reporter asking a question to Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford. Who had been trying to shout out the question for at least five minutes?

9
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 6:27am

Reminds me of the days of Dennis Pennis ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGc3wrf5b6E

2
by Jovins :: Fri, 03/05/2010 - 5:55pm

I can comment on the accuracy of Ryan Matthews statement.

My high school played his; he threw for a touchdown playing out of the shotgun, and ran for 4 more.
He single-handedly beat us.

3
by billsfan :: Fri, 03/05/2010 - 6:02pm

"You being a Native American, would you have reservations about playing for the Redskins?”

Reservations. Ha!

(I also like the Eagles)

6
by tuluse :: Fri, 03/05/2010 - 7:24pm

Beat me too it. Although I think it's presumptuous to make reservations to a NFL team before the draft.

5
by MilkmanDanimal :: Fri, 03/05/2010 - 6:05pm

Poop-canning? Poop-canning?

7
by HostileGospel :: Fri, 03/05/2010 - 10:19pm

The part I find funny is that "shit-canning him out of the building" is a pretty poor construction in its own right, even before the poop audible.

--
There's a place I want to be. It's the NovaCare Center. That's in Philadelphia. One NovaCare Way, where the Eagles practice and then they eat cafeteria food and they watch film and we eat and we have fun.

-Donovan McNabb

8
by Unregistered Rob (not verified) :: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 12:18am

I'm not sure whether it's worse to be sh!t-canned or poop-canned. Even in this job market, finding another position may still be easier than getting the awful smell out of your clothes.

10
by Francisco (not verified) :: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 2:18pm

I don't know what's so funny about the Redskins question. It seems appropriate in light of Justin Edelman's refusal to sign a contract with the semipro Hoboken Heebs.

11
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 2:20pm

I think it's the wording ... in particular "reservation" ...

12
by Theo :: Sun, 03/07/2010 - 7:25pm

"I did [kick field goals] in high school. Why not?"
-- Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh

note the sarcasm

15
by Kevin from Philly :: Mon, 03/08/2010 - 10:21am

Maybe he'll challenge Ocho to a kicking contest?

13
by Anonymous 17 (not verified) :: Mon, 03/08/2010 - 2:28am

In the spirit of nit-picking, Steven Jackson was spelled correctly in the quote, but not in your added comments. :(

14
by dryheat :: Mon, 03/08/2010 - 9:16am

A couple people have said I invented the Wildcat. I think I did some pretty good things in high school with the Wildcat.

Al Gore calls shenanigans.

16
by DivisionNick (not verified) :: Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:24pm

Thank you so much for the Mitch Hedberg reference, Rory!

17
by masoch (not verified) :: Tue, 03/09/2010 - 4:25pm

""Ping pong. Bowling. I guess if I played tennis it would be left. Anything to do with a throwing motion is left. And then I write with my right hand, eat with my right, I golf right, I kick right footed. So I'm pretty weird.”

-- Oregon State quarterback Sean Canfield on the oddity of being ambidextrous"

Actually, Sean Canfield is NOT ambidextrous. He's bidextrous. In order to be truly ambidextrous, he'd need to be able to do all those things EQUALLY well with either hand.

18
by panthersnbraves :: Fri, 05/07/2010 - 3:36pm

one minor thing - I believe his name is COUNT Dr Acula.....