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The Week in Quotes

Football players (and coaches and front-office people) say the darndest things

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01 Oct 2010

This Week In Quotes: October 1, 2010

compiled by Rory Hickey

OPPRESSED SO HARD HE WASN'T IN SHAPE, LET MY PEOPLE GO

"I guess in this world we don't have a lot of people with, like, backbones. Just because somebody pay you money don't mean they'll make you do whatever they want or whatever. I mean, does that mean everything is for sale? I mean, I'm not for sale. Yeah, I signed the contract and got paid a lot of money, but ... that don't mean I'm for sale or a slave or whatever."

-- Washington defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth on the intricacies of the signee/signer relationship (Huffington Post)

THEY DON'T CALL HIM THE BEAST FOR NOTHING

"Those guys are players, former players, they never coached. They need to continue to do what they do best, and stop worrying about other things they don't know anything about."

-- Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall addressing criticism he received about his effort at the end of Sunday's game against the Jets from NFL Network analysts Mike Mayock and Sterling Sharpe (ESPN)

HE'S FEELIN THE CAROLINA BLUES

"We are what we are and that is what I'm trying to change so we're not that."

-- Panthers coach John Fox on the team's 0-3 start (Panthers.com)

IT'S LIKE HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN

"It's OK with me if I'm invited. I wasn't invited."

-- Cowboys coach Wade Phillips when asked whether he was OK with rookie wide receiver Dez Bryant being stuck with a $54,896 bill when he took the entire Cowboys team out to dinner on Monday night (Dallas Cowboys Blog)

HE'S POETRY IN MOTION, A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT TO SEE

"I can't do anything about that. I'm just going to run my routes. They tell me to run a dig and I'm going to run a bad mamma-jamma dig. That's what I'm going to do."

-- Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith when asked about the team not having an established No. 2 wide receiver (Carolina Growl)

THE BRONCOS COULD CERTAINLY USE HIM RIGHT NOW

"Never heard of him before in my life. I know who he is now."

-- Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs on Browns running back Peyton Hillis' anonymity to him prior to Hillis rushing for 144 yards against Baltimore on Sunday (Dan Patrick Show)

DEAD, ALIVE, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

"And, of course, the late great Magic Johnson"

-- Big Ten Network commentator Mushin Muhammad discussing the former Laker great as though he were not still alive (Awful Announcing)

GIVING HIM A CAPE WOULD BE AN NCAA RULES VIOLATION

"You throw the tape on and you kind of start to look for the cape and the 'S' on his chest."

-- Indiana University defensive ends coach George Ricumstrict on Michigan quarterback Denard Robinson (Indianapolis Star)

THAT'S WEIRD FOR TIKI BARBER TO HAVE AN OPINION ON THE GIANTS

"He is in a crisis because of the perception that he is losing his team ... And when you are fighting against something that is not necessarily real, you make it real. That is why he is in a crisis."

-- Former Giant Tiki Barber addressing concerns that Tom Coughlin is losing the trust of his players (Fifth Down Blog)

FEEL ME TWICE SHAME ON YOU

"He tried to feel me. That's weird, right?"

-- 49ers right tackle Anthony Davis, accusing Chiefs defensive end Shaun Smith of grabbing Davis' genitals during Sunday's game. This is the second time in two weeks that Smith has been accused of below the belt tomfoolery (CSN Bay Area)

MAYBE HE SHOULD CONSULT SHAUN SMITH

"Why this is taking place with Hakeem? You got to catch that ball. You would expect a guy at this level, if he gets his hands on the ball he'd better catch the ball. Period."

-- Giants coach Tom Coughlin gutting wide receiver Hakeem Nicks (NY Post)

THE FDA COULD DISPROVE THAT IF THEY TRIED HARD ENOUGH

"There are certain things you don't have to say, like, 'Water is good for you.' There are certain known truths in life, and that's one of them."

-- Newly signed Jets defensive end Trevor Pryce explaining why he wanted to play for Jets coach and Price's former defensive coordinator Rex Ryan (ESPN New York)

You have a quote for Football Outsiders? You'd be a lot cooler if you did. Send to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 01 Oct 2010

64 comments, Last at 20 Mar 2013, 9:47am by Free Web Directories Links

Comments

1
by Eric / Cat Crave (not verified) :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 11:09am

You need to add the one that just came in too, where Dwayne Jarrett has requested a trade. LMAO!

39
by The Ninjalectual :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 9:04pm

Help us out! What was the quote?

41
by Temo :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 10:19pm

Isn't it enough that Dwayne Jarrett thinks he has trade value?

2
by DEW (not verified) :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 11:16am

Troy Aikman had a pretty good line in the first quarter of the Dallas/Houston game, too (which I'm paraphrasing): "Any time you're tied with Oakland in something, that is not good." Anyone catch the exact quote?

35
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 5:00pm

I heard that one, but I can't summon the exact quote. I believe it had to do with the number of penalties Dallas had committed so far on the season. I remember hearing it and laughing becuase it was such a gratuitous shot, in a game that the Raiders weren't even involved in.

3
by Arkaein :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 12:07pm

How in the hell do you run up a $54,000 dinner bill? That's almost $1000 a player. Even top quality food and drinks can be had for 1/10th (or at least 1/5th) that amount.

I could round up all of my friends and pay for an all-you-can-handle lapdance night and not run up a bill that large.

4
by Dean :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 12:09pm

Most of the bill was the $600 bottles of wine.

5
by SamWyatt (not verified) :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 12:19pm

That were taken home unopened. Hopefully for future consumption and not just to prove a point.

11
by Dean :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 1:40pm

The first round pick usually ends up buying dinner at some point anyway, and this time instead of dropping 10 or 20 large, it ended up being 50. So he's "only" out an extra 25 grand or so.

Even if it was just to prove a point, it was a point that needed proving. Bryant thought he was bigger than the game, bigger than his teammates, and bigger than tradition. His ego bit him in the ass to the tune of 25 large. Maybe next time, he won't be so full of himself. Even if it's just to prove a point, I have no sympathy for him.

12
by tuluse :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 1:54pm

It's pretty hard to feel sympathy for someone making around 2 million spending about 2.75% of their income. This is about equivalent to someone making 40 grand dropping 1000 on a dinner.

16
by peterplaysbass :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:16pm

Except that a larger percentage of Bryant's income is disposable (I hope), so unless his mortgage is $50k/month, and his car payment is $15k/mo, etc., I think his dinner bill was even less significant to him than $1000 is to someone making $40k.

26
by tuluse :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 3:55pm

All true. My point was, a single guy who makes 40k can spend a grand in a night if he really wants to. As long as he doesn't make a habit of it.

43
by RichC (not verified) :: Sat, 10/02/2010 - 1:57pm

No. Just no.

A guy who makes $40K takes home about $2500 a month after taxes.

You know anyone who has spent 40% of their monthly income on a single dinner? Most people in the 40K range can't afford to spend $100 on dinner.

44
by Mr Shush :: Sat, 10/02/2010 - 2:23pm

I certainly know people with £18k pre-tax salaries who have spent £500 on a bender. It just depends on your circumstances (and whether you're a complete piss-head, and what your priorities are). If you're single and have no dependents of any kind, a very high proportion of your income is disposable. If you're single, dependentless and live with your parents, it's pretty much all disposable, and if you want to blow 40% of a month's worth in one go, and you feel like it (or are hammered enough to be persuaded you feel like it) you can.

48
by n8 (not verified) :: Mon, 10/04/2010 - 3:18pm

His contract is $8.3 million of guaranteed money. $54896/8.3 million equals $264 to a guy making $40,000. It's like you and me buying a new driver for the golf bag.

21
by Kurt :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:48pm

I'm not sure how the second sentence follows from the first. If someone making 40k were tricked by his "friends" into a $1000 dinner, we'd be reading about it in the police blotter the next day.

22
by loneweasel (not verified) :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:50pm

And the losers who meekly submitted to hazing chime in.

Hey, their talent could put them on varsity in high school, but they RESPECTed "teh game"! That's all what matters, right?

23
by Dean :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 3:00pm

"And the losers who meekly submitted to hazing chime in."

I would think the real loser is the one who attacks the messenger.

27
by Spielman :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 4:00pm

Hey, hey, guys. Play nice. Heck, I think you're both right on this one.

17
by zlionsfan :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:23pm

And Roy Williams was there, so we know there wasn't a tip. (Side question: how much do you tip on a five-figure dinner?)

29
by Will Allen :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 4:08pm

If there are professional athletes involved, there's a decent chance that the answer is "not much". Relative to income, they are about the most predictably bad tippers I have observed. I remember a few times when I have run into some jocks in hotel and airport bars who I knew well enough to have a couple with, and every time I ended up coming up with the tip to keep the waitress from getting stiffed. These guys were not superstars and these occasions took place some years ago, when salaries were lower, but these guys were still making about 50 times more than me. These guys get so used to people comping them on stuff that a lot of them can't conceive of paying like everybody else does.

33
by TomC :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 4:38pm

I worked in the service industry for a while back in the early 90's, and some of the Chicago Bulls of the First Jordan Era were regulars at the one of the establishments at which I was employed. In general, they tipped pretty much like anyone else, some a little better, some a little worse. The exception was Scottie. I happened to be cleaning off a table as he was paying his bill once and saw him round up a $48 tab to an even $50. One of the bartenders took to announcing loudly as he came in: "Ladies and Gentlemen: Scottie 'No Tippin' Pippen!"

36
by tuluse :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 5:05pm

Although to be fair to him, the Bulls stiffed him for years on what he was worth.

40
by The Ninjalectual :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 9:09pm

(unnecessarily continues logic) and in turn, Scottie stiffs the bartender on what he's worth! Or, should we blame the Bulls for stiffing the bartender?

7
by DeltaWhiskey :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 12:25pm

"I could round up all of my friends and pay for an all-you-can-handle lapdance night and not run up a bill that large."

Without knowing how many friends you have or the establishment you propose to frequent, I cannot determine how relative this comment is to the discussion.

8
by Will Allen :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 12:32pm

Yeah, I don't think I want to see those "dancers". Last time I was in Green Bay was about 20 years ago, for a wedding. The obligatory visit to the "Gentleman's Club" occurred the night before the nuptials. I remember thinking, after a few libations, "My, it looks like Majkowski is going to have decent protection this season!"

13
by MCS :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:01pm

Yeah Will. Having grown up in the Green Bay area and spent the majority of my adult life in Detroit, let me agree. Green Bay is not the town in which you would want to attend a gentlemen's club.

25
by Will Allen :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 3:47pm

Good God, they haven't distilled enough liqour yet to allow me to dilute some of the more unfortunate mental images I still have of that evening.

15
by Arkaein :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:15pm

Well, it's been about 10 years since I've been to any sort of gentleman's club, but I believe that lap dances were around $20 (this was in moderately large cities, not Green Bay or similar smaller places). Let's round up to $25 to account for inflation. I'm sure there are places that cost more, but let's just work with these numbers.

$1000 could pay for 40 dances for one person. Maybe a person could go for more than that in an evening, but considering that any club has a limited supply of talented ladies, there are only so many dances to go around in an evening.

So $54,000 would cover about 54 friends and 2160 lap dances. I don't have that many friends, though I could probably make that many in hurry if I announced said plans in advance.

18
by DeltaWhiskey :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:30pm

See now we're getting somewhere. We should be able to develop a formula that accounts for size and strength of city, factors in cost and accounts for number of friends and come up with and "all-you-can-handle lapdance night" adjusted for city, or AYHLC...or something like that.

24
by Will Allen :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 3:43pm

I can't wait for the Irrational Destiny vs. Candy Thread.

31
by chemical burn :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 4:19pm

What we're really all waiting for, is Raiderjoe's take on the subject.

20
by Kevin from Philly :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:39pm

If you're gonna be on the couch that long, you're better off going to the "champagne room", where you pay a fee up front for a certain time limit. Not that I'd know anything about that, if you're reading this honey.

28
by matt millen's brain (not verified) :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 4:05pm

Football Outsiders

Innovative Statistics, Intelligent Analysis

I can't think of any better example!

42
by Temo :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 10:25pm

It's still $20 a dance in NY. And as Kevin mentioned, you're probably better off getting the bulk rate of $200/half-hour in the room. Or something like that, never cared to find out the specifics.

10
by Joe T. :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 1:30pm

I'm sure Pacman could provide some insight.

45
by masoch (not verified) :: Sun, 10/03/2010 - 11:56am

Well, considering Pappas Bros used to sell a $50k bottle of wine, this bill is pretty light. Filets run about $75.00 at a joint like this, and every team member is going to eat (at least) two. So that's roughly $7500 in beef alone. I could easily imagine the team running up TWICE this amount. They went easy on Dez.

Oh, and as for the tip comments... these days, it's pretty standard to automatically tack a 15-22% gratuity onto tickets for large parties... because in general, groups are asshats.

50
by evenchunkiermonkey (not verified) :: Tue, 10/05/2010 - 9:03am

Dude, you have no idea how many strippers i can #@#$

6
by Will Allen :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 12:20pm

Are Albert Haynesworth and Manny Ramirez distant relatives?

9
by John (not verified) :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 12:52pm

Bad mamma-jamma dig is such a great phrase. I'm going to have to find a way to use it in casual conversation.

19
by Kevin from Philly :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:34pm

Probably not a great line if you're a mortician.

14
by TomC :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:08pm

I had no idea John Fox was funny. The beauty of that quote is that it starts out like a typical coach-speak cliche, but then he gives it the twist.

30
by BadAxe (not verified) :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 4:09pm

Just for the record:
Brandon Marshall
Receptions - 327
Receiving Yards - 4,019
Receiving TDs - 25

Sterling Sharpe
Receptions - 595
Receiving Yards - 8,134
Touchdowns - 65

32
by fyo :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 4:35pm

Any particular reason why TWIQ is relegated to Friday duty this season? It used to be a Tuesday feature, which (considering the dearth of news early in the week) was perfect.

34
by TomC :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 4:40pm

Really? Quick Reads and DVOA come out on Tuesday. I'm lucky if I get any work done that day already.

37
by fyo :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 6:03pm

TWIQ used to be a Tuesday morning (before noon, anyway) feature.

Barnwell then got Quick Reads up a few hours later, usually before 2pm.

DVOA came in the evening, although Aaron did sometimes manage to get the numbers out earlier in the day. Usually they were up around 6pm, though.

Yeah, good Tuesday ;)

My problem with the quotes is that they're old by the time Friday rolls around. Most of them are reactions to specific events from Sunday. Feeding us the quotes almost a week later just doesn't make sense. I get that maybe FO want to spread the love a little (give readers an incentive to check the site more often), but TWIQ is just a really bad vehicle for that. It belongs as close as possible to the events discussed.

Personally, I'd rather see some more Extra Points late in the week... and if we're talking real Outsiders NFL content, there's always Walkthrough and Word of Muth.

What we're missing is the Black and Blue report. That was a great late-in-the-week piece.

38
by TomC :: Fri, 10/01/2010 - 6:39pm

Ah, I understand now. I'm usually fighting my last few Audibles battles on Tuesday mornings, so I'm not just sitting around waiting for Quick Reads --- I mean, working.

47
by Dean :: Mon, 10/04/2010 - 11:00am

Nah, what we're REALLY missing is Every Play Counts!

46
by kamchatka (not verified) :: Mon, 10/04/2010 - 4:37am

Why, oh why, do people insist on calling the guy "Mushin" instead of "Muhsin," like he's a professional gruel-stirrer.

49
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Nick Barnett on the Packers ugly win over detroit

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