Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

Most Recent FO Features

SmithGen13.jpg

» Scramble for the Ball: The Best Losers

Tom and Mike perform the ritual "complimenting of the Loser League team names," pile on Marty Mornhinweg, and actually find a scenario where starting Geno Smith is a good idea.

29 Oct 2010

The Week In Quotes: October 29, 2010

compiled by Rory Hickey

NORV TURNER KNOWS WHAT TEAM HE'S CALLING WHEN HE NEEDS A NEW ASSISTANT COACH

"Coaching. From the time we walk in the door, [Belichick] talks about eliminating bad football. That's stuff Foxborough High School can complete -- wide open throws, snap count violations or dropping the ball when you haven't been touched. The day we started training camp we run laps around the field for stupid plays like that."

-- Patriots quarterback Tom Brady when asked what contributed to his team's lack of mental mistakes after New England defeated the Chargers 23-20 in which the Chargers committed numerous mental errors (San Diego Union-Tribune)

(Ed. Note: Fear the power of the Hockomock League. Fear it.)

CUTLER TO HALL IS A MODERN DAY MONTANA TO RICE

"I've played against [Hall] before -- there's no reason to shy away from him. That's hard to say after throwing four picks at a guy, but if we had to play him tomorrow, I'd go at him every time."

-- Bears quarterback Jay Cutler at the postgame press conference after the Bears 17-14 loss to the Redskins in which he threw four interceptions, all to Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall

"You know what, when I first heard it, man, I was a little bit kinda, just ... I was shocked a little bit. You know, Jay's a guy, obviously he has a lot of confidence, lotta swagger. But like I told you before, I played against this kid once before, you know, when I was in Oakland for that first Monday night game. He completed a couple of passes on my side and, you know, I guess he was still riding high from that, man. I have no idea what's wrong with this kid, but, you know, I think he learned his lesson. But after those comments, that makes me think that he still hasn't learned his lesson. So, you know, if I had to play Jay Cutler every single week, man, I'd be in the Hall of Fame."

-- Hall's response when he heard Cutler's comments (Redskins Blog)

I JUST CHOKED ON THE PIZZA ROLLS I WAS EATING IN MY MOM'S BASEMENT

"Stats are for losers, so you keep looking at stats and we'll keep looking at wins. I mean, you are what your record says you are in this league, and right now we're tied for the fewest losses [in the NFC], so that makes us the best team."

-- Buccaneers coach Raheem Morris defending his claim that Tampa Bay is the best team in the NFC despite a reporter pointing out to him that the Buccaneers rank 23rd in the league in total offense and 22nd in the league in total defense (Tampa Bay Online)

NEITHER IS THE INEVITABLE FOLLOW UP BLOWOUT LOSS

"It's never a fluke with us. We have the talent. We're probably the most talented team in the National Football League."

-- Raiders cornerback Chris Johnson proclaiming the 3-4 Oakland Raiders to be the most talented team in the league after the team's surprising 59-14 win over the Broncos (The Oakland Tribune)

FREDDIE MITCHELL DISPROVES THIS THEOREM

"I like the comment, 'diva receivers.' That means you're very successful. I look at all the divas, whether it's Beyonce or Mariah Carey, those women are very successful. So, someone calls me a 'diva,' that means I'm successful. So, I'll take that and run with it."

-- Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall's thoughts on being labeled a diva in anticipation of the Dolphins matchup with the Bengals and their two divas at wide receiver, Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens (Miami Herald)

HE WOULD HAVE TROUBLE IN THE COACHING PROFESSION IF HE WASN'T SO UPBEAT ALL THE TIME

"That has to be a first for me, that the officials are now evaluating the players and their performance. That's great. I can't tell you how much that means to me, really."

-- Patriots coach Bill Belichick derisively reacting to the NFL's praise of Patriots defensive back Brandon Meriweather for responding to the crackdown on hits on defenseless players (Providence Journal)

ALL OF HIS PINS ARE CURRENTLY IN HIS REX RYAN VOODOO DOLL

Dan Patrick: "Can you pinpoint what's wrong with the Saints?"

Tony Dungy: "No ... because I don't have enough pins."

-- An exchange between Dan Patrick and Tony Dungy on Football Night in America (Sports Media News)

IF THIS KEEPS UP I MIGHT QUIT FOOTBALL, OR WHATEVER I DO

"It's definitely embarrassing to be 2-4, or whatever we are."

-- Bengals wide receiver Terrell Owens after the Bengals' 39-32 loss to the Falcons dropped them to, yes, 2-4 (Monday Morning QB)

100 MILLION DOLLARS REALLY DEPRECIATES QUICKLY IN TODAY'S ECONOMY

"I'm not good enough to play the 3-4."

-- Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth declaring that he, the highest paid defensive player in the history of the NFL, is not good enough to be a nose tackle in a 3-4 defensive scheme (Sports Illustrated)

FOR THE MONEY HE'S MAKING, PORTER SHOULD BE COMPARING HIMSELF TO THE ANGUS DELUXE BURGER

"It's like McDonald's. You know what the Big Mac tastes like every time. It's the same with me. You know what you're going to get from me every time."

-- Cardinals linebacker Joey Porter on why people shouldn't fret over his lack of sacks early in the season (The Arizona Republic)

OTHER THAN LEBRON JAMES AND DWAYNE WADE, THE HEAT REALLY AREN'T THAT GOOD EITHER

"They have a good running back and a good quarterback. Other than that, they're really not that good."

-- USC defensive tackle Jurrell Casey demonstrating that he is not impressed by the University of Oregon's high-powered offense in advance of the teams' matchup on Saturday (ESPN Los Angeles)

THE SEC IS APPEASING DOOLEY BY GIVING HIM TWO SCHOLARSHIPS TO NEVER DO THIS AGAIN

"Right now we're like the Germans in World War II. Here comes the boats, they're coming. You have the binoculars, and its like, 'Oh, my God, the invasion is coming.' That's what they did, they were in the bunkers. It's coming, they call Rommel -- they can't find Rommel. [Pretending to speak into a radio.] 'What do we do? I'm not doing anything until I get orders.' [Pretends to look through binoculars.] 'Have you gotten Rommel yet?'

"All right, and the Americans were the exact opposite. We hit the beach, and we were on the wrong spot. 'What do we do? I don't know, but these guys are firing and we better hide over there and blow some stuff up to get up there.' They weren't looking for [help]. That's where we've got to make that transition.

"I don't want the German people to get upset at me. I'm not attacking them, but that's what happened. You had one group, they weren't worried about what the plan was and orders and all that. When the war hits, things change. You've got to go.

"You had the other group, and they go, 'Wait a minute. They told us the invasion was way further north' where we had the empty tanks and we were hiding Patton out. 'We weren't ready for this, now what do we do?' 'We better wait until Rommel tells us what to do.'

"I hope I got my names right."

-- University of Tennessee coach Derek Dooley somehow launching into a lengthy WWII analogy after being asked about the lack of experience on his team. The video is included in the link (Go Vols Xtra)

Send a quote to Football Outsiders at quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 29 Oct 2010

28 comments, Last at 04 Nov 2010, 9:43pm by Chip Paint

Comments

1
by Treima6 (not verified) :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 1:30pm

Wow, that Dooley speech sounds like it was ripped straight from a Seth MacFarlane script about the way coaches act at press conferences. That's gotta be a keeper for FOA 2011.

2
by dryheat :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 1:33pm

Was that before or after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

3
by John (not verified) :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 1:49pm

Finishing with "I hope I got my names right" is what pushes that quote over the edge. Hall of Fame material, without a doubt.

4
by Rich in Atlanta (not verified) :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 2:08pm

I'm thinking he watched bits and pieces of 'The Longest Day' on Turner Classics last June 6th. I wish he'd gotten into some of the other groups, like the guys with the parachutes, or the guys climbing the cliff. This could have been even better.

8
by Joe T. :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 3:13pm

Robert Mitchum casually walking up the beach under heavy enemy fire, puffing a cigar and toting a bangalore torpedo.

5
by Dean :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 2:21pm

Wow. Just - wow. I'm sure there was a point in there, but it might even be better without it.

6
by nat :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 2:52pm

"That has to be a first for me, that the officials are now evaluating the players and their performance. That's great. I can't tell you how much that means to me, really."

Belichick is the Kung Fu master of truth-telling. He really can't tell us how much it means to him. He would be fined if he did.

Brilliant.

9
by commissionerleaf :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 3:29pm

If there is anyone I think is more of a snake in the NFL than Bill Belichick... it's the NFL front office since Goodell. So I love this quote to death. It's like the two villains in a noir film, both of them many times more interesting than the protagonist, decided to go at it for no reason.

Also, I'm suddenly a Patriots fan, if only as a means of keeping the Jets out of the playoffs. Also, I'm rooting for the Saints this weekend, because they're playing the one team in football I dislike more than the Saints. Teams that are fun to denigrate/root against/laugh at:

1. Pittsburgh
2. New Orleans
3. New York (Green version)
4. New England

IMO, of course.

11
by buzzorhowl (not verified) :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:40pm

Seriously, how are the Cowboys not on that list.

12
by Dean :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:46pm

Because it's not mere fun to root against them. Combine civic duty and religious obligation, cube the result and you start to approxmiate where rooting against that team stands.

14
by The Ninjalectual :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:34pm

If you add Dallas at #1 and shift everyone else down a notch, I'm with you. I can't stand fairweather Steelers fans who can't tell you what state Pittsburgh is in.

16
by Kal :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 7:12pm

It's not fun to root against Dallas any more; they're so inept they're like a disney cartoon villain. You know they're going to fail, the only question is when and how bad it's going to look.

Pittsburgh, NE - they're the unkillable horror movie villain. You never know if they're going to kill your lead or if they're going to finally die or what's going to happen in the inevitable sequel.

18
by Dr. Of Course There's a Pittsburg, Nebraska (not verified) :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 9:43pm

Pittsburgh, NE

No, the one in Nebraska doesn't have an H in it. (Click my name for link.)

26
by Dean :: Mon, 11/01/2010 - 9:28am

It's ALWAYS fun to root against them, no matter how inept.

24
by Jerry :: Sun, 10/31/2010 - 3:09am

"It would be tough for me to care less about their opinion, to be honest with you."

-Mike Tomlin, responding to the same Ray Anderson comments.

7
by tuluse :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 3:02pm

Hall's quote was pretty funny, but yeah Dooley takes the cake.

10
by MattR :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 3:41pm

The only thing that could make this Week in Quotes better is if we could get Herm's re-translation of Dooley.

Herm: "You FIGHT to WIN the war. You FIGHT to WIN the WAR...."

Incidentally, shouldn't Dooley get extra-credit for applied knowledge?

13
by The Ninjalectual :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:33pm

Big Macs are actually ridiculously expensive.

15
by AnonymousYo (not verified) :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 7:07pm

While comparing yourself to anything related to Nazis is obviously dubious, I actually thought that analogy made sense.

19
by ChadSexington (not verified) :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 9:51pm

German soldiers. Not Nazis. There's a difference. He didn't mention any Nazis. That's like calling an American Soldier a Democrat or Republican rather than "American Soldier".

22
by JIPanick :: Sat, 10/30/2010 - 9:16pm

It was a tactical comparison, not a moral one, so it isn't dubious at all. Don't get carried away with political correctness.

Also, the analogy was *brilliant*.

Chad, the Nazis was *very* tightly involved in the OKH command structure at that time, and the biggest personal failure of the German command structure before the invasion was Hitler's own (although Rommel being in Germany rather than France on 6 June didn't help them any). Your analogy is nonsensical; you are trying to make a distinction that doesn't exist.

17
by Mr Derp (not verified) :: Fri, 10/29/2010 - 7:52pm

raiderjoe's comment comparing the bulls eye anti-marshall faulk defense to knocking a ram off a cliff should ne on here. best comment in ages here.

20
by RichC (not verified) :: Sat, 10/30/2010 - 10:23am

No Rodney Harrison quote? Tony Dungy said that Seattle was the best team in the NFC. Rodney responded with something like:

"Seriously? Someone must have hit you in the head with a bunch of bibles"

21
by andrew :: Sat, 10/30/2010 - 3:52pm

"It isn't a Hall of Fame without a Hall"

... and about 50 more in the same vein... he's able to flourish now that Bart Oates isn't holding back his career...

23
by Paul R :: Sun, 10/31/2010 - 12:23am

Von Rundstedt, wasn't it? Not Rommel.

25
by JIPanick :: Sun, 10/31/2010 - 11:27am

Rommel was the local commander in Normandy, von Rundstedt his nominal superior in Berlin. Both made serious errors wrt Normandy but the analogy works better with Rommel, who was in Germany for his wife's birthday when the allies hit the beaches and was the man who should have been commanding the immediate response.

27
by nike sneaker (not verified) :: Tue, 11/02/2010 - 1:22am

Thank you for another great article
Thank you for another great article

28
by Chip Paint (not verified) :: Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:43pm

No love for the entire R Moss self-interview? Really?