Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

07 Apr 2011

The Month in Quotes: March 2011

compiled by Rory Hickey

BE A JERK TO THEM JERKS, YEAH THAT'LL MAKE 'EM HURT

"He needs to stop crying about blood tests and HGH. He needs to try to get a deal done, that's what he needs to do. He's been on this crusade about HGH, but he needs to be on a crusade about getting these owners together and trying to work out a deal. To me, he's a joke, because every time I look, he's talking about performance enhancements instead of talking about trying to figure out a way to make sure football is played in August."

-- Ravens wide receiver Derrick Mason telling us how he really feels about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell (The Huddle)

I THINK WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE BEFORE

"You never know what you're gonna get. Is it gonna be a pretty girl, an ugly girl or whatever it's gonna be. I don't card them. I don't ask for a birth certificate."

-- Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor on why the 'world of prostitution' was at fault for him picking up a 16-year old prostitute (ESPN New York)

ANY TIME YOU CAN MAKE THE GAME LESS EXCITING, YOU HAVE TO DO IT

"They always say in basketball free throws win games. Well, you know what? In football special teams win games. It doesn't matter how good your offense or defense is, if they give up one kickoff return, one fumble on punt return, that changes the whole game drastically. You win and lose games on special teams and that's what me and Devin Hester have been able to do for our teams. So if you take that out of it, I mean, you lose the excitement [of] all these 100-yard returns."

-- Browns return man Josh Cribbs chirping about the NFL moving kickoffs from the 30 to the 35. This move will increase the amount of touchbacks on kickoffs, thus limiting returners' impact on the game (Pro Football Talk)

I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, BLOWING OFF STEAM. YOU PUT ME ON THE HEAT, I DON'T WHISTLE, I SCREAM

"They talk about walk softly and carry a big stick. I love that. I agree with that 100 percent. But I guess I feel more like Babe Ruth. I'm going to walk softly, I'm going to carry that big stick, and then I'm going to point, and then I'm going to hit it over the fence."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan regurgitating his insistence that the Jets will win the Super Bowl (NY Daily News)

IT'S LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET

Price: We're not supposed to talk, are we?

Thompson: "Well, you can talk, but I have to turn around and walk away.

-- What ensued when agent Chuck Price bumped into Ted Thompson, general manager of the Green Bay Packers, at UCLA's pro day on Tuesday. As part of the lockout, team employees were told not to talk with agents about current NFL players (Los Angeles Times)

IF YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT AT ALL, IT STILL MAKES NO SENSE

"It's modern-day slavery, you know? People kind of laugh at that, but there are people working at regular jobs who get treated the same way, too. With all the money ... the owners are trying to get a different percentage, and bring in more money. I understand that; these are business-minded people. Of course this is what they are going to want to do. I understand that; it's how they got to where they are now. But as players, we have to stand our ground and say, 'Hey -- without us, there's no football.'"

-- Vikings running back Adrian Peterson making the obvious comparison between the NFL labor situation and slavery (FO's Doug Farrar reporting for Yahoo! Sports)

"Well first of all, I wish I had the athletic ability of AP's like little finger. All right. But he's an idiot, and what he said was moronic at best."

-- Saints fullback Heath Evans, responding to Peterson's comments (YardBarker)

ELI IS TOTALLY BLARING "HERO" BY ENRIQUE INGLESIAS FROM HIS BOOMBOX RIGHT NOW

"He's a great student of the game, he wants the ball. He wants to be that type of hero. The guy works so hard. We don't have many sacks, he's a big part of that. He doesn't let it happen, but sometimes in doing that you put the ball in a precarious circumstance. Sometimes take the ball and go down. And I think that's something we've got to do a better job of coaching and understanding that."

-- Giants coach Tom Coughlin blaming quarterback Eli Manning's problems with turnovers (The Times-Picayune)

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE MUCH?

Very disingenuous -- has a fake smile, comes off as very scripted and has a selfish, me-first makeup. Always knows where the cameras are and plays to them. Has an enormous ego with a sense of entitlement that continually invites trouble and makes him believe he is above the law -- does not command respect from teammates and always will struggle to win a locker room. Only a one-year producer. Lacks accountability, focus and trustworthiness -- is not punctual, seeks shortcuts and sets a bad example. Immature and has had issues with authority. Not dependable.

-- Part of a scouting report on Auburn quarterback Cam Newton written by Nolan Nawrocki of Pro Football Weekly. There were positives in there, too (Pro Football Weekly)

I GUESS EVERY SUPERHERO NEEDS HIS THEME MUSIC

"A lot of the criticism he's receiving is unfortunate and racially based. I thought we were all past this. I don't see other quarterbacks in the draft being criticized by the media or fans about their smile or called a phony. He's being held to different standards from white quarterbacks. I thought we were past all this stuff about African-American quarterbacks, but I guess we're not."

"Of course there is racism in every walk of society. We've made a lot of progress in this country. But racism is still there. I just thought in the sports arena we were beyond it. I think the way Cam is being treated shows we're not ..."

"The thing that makes me laugh is the question of can [Newton] come out of the spread offense? Can he run a pro offense? Colt McCoy came out of the spread offense and very few people raised that issue about him. So did Sam Bradford. Same thing. Very few questions asking if Bradford could run a pro offense. Some of these questions about Cam are more about his intellect. It's blatant racism, some of it."

-- Hall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon expressing his anger over what he perceives as racially biased treatment of Auburn quarterback Cam Newton by fans and media members (CBS Sports)

HE WEARS HIS PRIDE ON HIS SLEEVE LIKE A BRACELET

"I got a high pain tolerance, my pain tolerance is outrageous."

-- Alabama wide receiver Julio Jones' secret to running a 4.39 40-yard dash despite a stress fracture in his foot at the Combine (Pro Football Talk)

OLD MAN, LOOK AT MY LIFE, I'M A LOT LIKE YOU WERE

"The Vikings, they had been winning division championships. I think they've had the best 40-man roster probably in football the last 3-5 years. They were winning a division title with Gus Frerotte who is about 80 years old!"

-- Vikings legend Fran Tarkenton voicing his displeasure quarterback
Brett Favre for the umpteenth time (Pro Football Talk)

CHARLIE SHEEN SEES MISS DAISY WHEN HE LOOKS IN THE MIRROR

"My addiction is with the hardest of hard drugs -- heroin, cocaine and alcohol. During my days of using, I was a really bad drug addict. I would've made Charlie Sheen look like Miss Daisy."

-- Jets quarterback Erik Ainge revealing he's been a drug addict since before high school and is speaking out now in an effort to bring awareness to mental health and addiction (ESPN New York)

THERE ARE AS MANY OPINIONS AS THERE ARE EXPERTS

"Yeah I watch it and all. Mel Kiper and all, he messed me over, he lied to me said I was Top 20, had me go out and spend X amount of dollars and then owe the bank stuff. So I don't know the guys; they're guessing just like we guess; I can guess who the Dolphins are going to take too. But I look at it a little bit and hear the experts -- I guess they call them to hear what they got to say."

-- Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder when asked whether he pays close attention to all the hype and lead up to the NFL Draft each year (Sports Radio Interviews)

DOES HE MEAN BEING A NARCISSISTIC CHOKE ARTIST?

"I'm trying to pull a lebron *hint*"

-- Jaguars wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker responding to a Twitter question asking where he wants to take his talents next year (Twitter)

YOU'RE ALSO GOOD AT SOMEHOW MAKING ME CARE LESS ABOUT MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER

"Superb day on the pitch, I'm gonna be in phenomenal shape once football rolls back around,my feet were awesome b4 they gone b like WTF now!!!"

"The only thing I'm probably good at is being fast as hell."

-- Sporting Kansas City reserve team member Chad Ochocinco evaluating his performance during his tryout with the Major League Soccer team (Twitter)

HE'S ON A DIET, BUT HIS POCKET'S EATING CHEESECAKE

"One thing they can do is feed us. Do I look under nourished?"

-- Patriots coach Bill Belichick when asked about skipping breakfast with the media on Tuesday (Boston Herald)

BILL BELICHICK IS SO MAD RIGHT NOW

"They're probably unbeatable. Probably go undefeated for three, four straight years.''

-- Bills coach Chan Gailey on the New England Patriots having six of the NFL Draft's first 92 picks (Pats' Pulpit)

A SCRUB IS A GUY WHO CAN'T GET NO LOVE FROM ME

"@AnthonyDavis76 man go workout or something u fuckimg scrub if I did something wrong I would have gotten fine[d] man so watch your mouth boi"

-- Chiefs defensive tackle Shaun Smith responding to 49ers tackle Anthony Davis' tweet referring to a 2010 incident in which Smith allegedly grabbed Davis' genitals (Twitter)

TIM TEBOW DOES NOT ENCOUNTER THE TYPE OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T WEAR UNDERWEAR

"People may say it's underwear, but everyone wears underwear -- it's not like I'm doing something risqué. I wouldn't do anything that goes against what I stand for. The whole campaign is very classy."

-- Broncos quarterback Tebow on his new Jockey ad campaign (ESPN)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @HunkyDoryRory

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 07 Apr 2011

21 comments, Last at 13 Apr 2011, 2:58pm by Intropy

Comments

1
by Dean :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 3:00pm

"YOU'RE ALSO GOOD AT SOMEHOW MAKING ME CARE LESS ABOUT MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER"

I really want to agree with this statement, but I was already starting at zero.

2
by Bobby Wommack (not verified) :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 3:20pm

As if we need any more proof Channing Crowder is an idiot.

3
by raphael santi (not verified) :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 3:26pm

Man, The Month in Quotes system might be even better than the normal TWIQ. It's just a more consistent showing overall this way. The worst quotes here would be above-average for most of last year's TWIQ and the best are awesome.

4
by JonFrum :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 4:50pm

I'm not sure what is passive-aggressive about ripping a guy a second a-hole in public.

5
by Intropy :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 5:14pm

I have to agree with Warren Moon on this one. African Americans are terribly underrepresented in the NFL.

7
by Ryan J Harris (not verified) :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 7:02pm

zing!

15
by TomC :: Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:33pm

That's obviously not what Moon was saying, and you know it. If you take issue with his argument, then refute it, but comments like this are useless.

16
by Intropy :: Sat, 04/09/2011 - 7:56pm

I can't refute it any more than Moon can support it because neither of us can peer into the souls of the critics to determine whether said criticisms are racially biased or not. What I can do is point out the disingenuousness of "But racism is still there. I just thought in the sports arena we were beyond it. I think the way Cam is being treated shows we're not" given the racial makeup of the NFL in comparison with the racial makeup of the US.

18
by Led :: Sun, 04/10/2011 - 11:21pm

I thought you were just being snarky, but it turns out you actually think your non sequitur is a powerful argument. Allow me to suggest why it's actually a non sequitur. It's pretty much inarguable that black quarterbacks were discriminated against for years. At the same exact time, large numbers of NFL players were black. One thing has nothing to do with the other, for the simple reason that prejudice doesn't necessarily prevent people from recognizing that blacks can be valuable players at RB or WR or CB or DE even though it prevents them from recognizing blacks can play QB (or be head coaches).

Obviously, there has been a lot of progress since the days when virtually every black QB was converted to a different position and Moon is not necessarily right here about Newton criticism in general. I'm agnostic on the subject. But Moon isn't proven wrong just by pointing to the percentage of black players in the league.

19
by Intropy :: Mon, 04/11/2011 - 6:54pm

No (and yes!), you are mistaken (and were correct!). In the first post I was just being snarky. In the second I did make a reasoned argument. It was not a proof by any means, but it was a presentation of evidence that would tend to refute Moon's claims.

When making a conversational point on a subject, one need not always go through the rigor of full logical argumentation hence my secundum quid or your slothful induction in the above.

For what it's worth, TomC was precisely right in that I know what Moon meant and my straw man was not it - like you said it was just snark, and I hope my verbiage made it obvious to most that that's what it was. I do not claim there was any sort of logical validity there (but note, the fact that a rhetorical argument is logically invalid neither proves nor disproves its conclusions). Since he was so right, I took him up on the second part of his post.

20
by Led :: Wed, 04/13/2011 - 9:41am

"slothful induction"

Hey! I resemble that remark.

21
by Intropy :: Wed, 04/13/2011 - 2:58pm

A lot of logical fallacies have pretty cool names.

6
by mschuttke :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 6:19pm

While a part of me agrees with Warren Moon on his assessment that perhaps some of the criticism being thrown Cam Newton's way is a bit over the top, I will push back on the premise that no one was concerned with Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford coming out of spread offenses last year. Almost EVERY scouting report I read about both quarterbacks had some mentioning of concern on the matter of their spread offense pedigree. Further, Bradford had the added caveat of being critiqued for the sideline-based read system he came out of at Oklahoma, wherein coaches would assess the defense from the booth, relay that information to the sideline, wherein Bradford would look to the sidelines for any adjustments he must make. Personally, I do not even find Newton's "I'm an entertainer" comments to be all that polarizing; they are quite true in that professional football is about entertainment, at its core. Now, I do think it is a rather moronic thing to state though to prospective future employers who value this sort of militaristic, Spartan devotion to "the game and only the game".

8
by justanothersteve :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 8:17pm

Ted Thompson has a sense of humor. Who knew?

9
by 3.14159265 (not verified) :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 11:26pm

Somebody should tell Ryan the proverb is; 'Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.'

10
by MJK :: Thu, 04/07/2011 - 11:29pm

Wait, Cam Newton is black?

Maybe Sims-Walker is thinking of leaving the Jags to play basketball?

The Heath Evans comment was my absolute favorite.

12
by justanothersteve :: Fri, 04/08/2011 - 12:54pm

I didn't get the Sims-Walker quote either. I think he's the wrong Jaguar hyphenated-surname skill position player that could pull a lebron. I would assume you would be one of the best at your position first.

13
by Dean :: Fri, 04/08/2011 - 2:11pm

I just figured he wanted to play for the Dolphins.

11
by IAmJoe (not verified) :: Fri, 04/08/2011 - 4:57am

Diggin' the Lupe Fiasco reference!

14
by Grammar police. (not verified) :: Fri, 04/08/2011 - 5:35pm

Touchbacks are discrete. Therefore they occur in numbers, not amounts.

Back to my WoW...

17
by buzzorhowl (not verified) :: Sun, 04/10/2011 - 1:44am

Does the fact that Favre is older than Frerotte help or hurt Tarkenton's point?