Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

12 Aug 2011

The Week In Quotes: August 12, 2011

compiled by Rivers McCown

DOES HE OWN A SEPARATE PAIR OF CROCS FOR THE BATHROOM?

"He’s 28 years old, and quite frankly was [expletive] on for four years." -- Seahawks general manager John Schneider, on new quarterback Tarvaris Jackson (Yahoo!)

BE GRATEFUL, DETROIT WOULD KILL FOR SOMETHING TO MANUFACTURE

"It's going to be ugly because now the leadership on that team is going to be manufactured ... They're going to try to maybe put it on Jay, they might as the season goes on find another senior guy there to try to be the leader of the offense, maybe (Matt) Forte as the running back, whoever. It won't be authentic the way you need to be when you're a winner." -- Ex-Bears guard Ruben Brown, on the loss of Olin Kreutz (Chicago Tribune)

THAT'S ILLEGAL, BUT IS ANYTHING INVOLVING BRITT NOT AT THIS POINT?

"No, not at all, because I don't answer no phone calls that I don't know the area code. You can even ask my Coach Raggy (Ragone) about that, he's been calling me all summer long. I told him, he's got to send me a text before I'll answer it." -- Titans receiver Kenny Britt, on keeping in touch with coaches during the lockout (3 Hour Lunch)

THROUGH TEARS AT A DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL CONCERT, AND IT WORKED

"I’m never going to give that up guys! Are you kidding me? Let me ask you: back in your earlier life when you were single and asking girls out on dates — were you ever turned down? Did you run out to tell your buddies who the girls were that turned you down?" -- Chiefs general manager Scott Pioli, when asked which players Kansas City targeted but could not sign in free agency (Sports Radio Interviews)

I'M SURE NO NFL TEAM WOULD BE ENTERPRISING ENOUGH TO SEND PEOPLE TO SECRETLY FILM AN OPEN PRACTICE

"Those rules exist so that we're not placed at a competitive disadvantage by having the teams we play see video of any portion of our practices." -- Dolphins spokesman Harvey Greene, on Miami's policy of not allowing fans to tape practices (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)

MEDIA WILL OFFER TO PAY FINE OF NEXT RECEIVER WHO PUMMELS HIM

"My absence had nothing to do with a holdout yet a personal matter that Titan officials were aware of. I am grateful for being a Titan," -- Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan, on why he was absent at training camp over the weekend. He later fessed up that it was a holdout (The Tennessean)

SURE, YOU CAN EVEN TAKE YOUR KIDS TO THE GAME!

"Do I still get my tickets?" -- Anonymous deadbeat parent who was caught in a sting that promised him tickets to the 2011 Iron Bowl (WRBL-3)

DON'T WORRY, YOU'VE STILL GOT THAT JOCKEY CONTRACT TO FALL BACK ON

"My dream, since I was a young boy, of being a starting quarterback in the NFL seemed to be coming true, then, I felt like it was grabbed back away..." -- Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, after Denver could not complete a trade for Kyle Orton. He would later claim the quote was taken out of context (Denver Post)

JIMMY CLAUSEN STARRED AS THE GROUND LAMB

"It was difficult at times. It was frustrating. Not just for myself but I think everyone. There’s a lot of guys that were frustrated and there was a lot of people who it was hard on. Look at the people in the front office having to sell PSL’s, having to sell marketing. It made it very difficult for them as well which puts stress and strain on their family and the financial situations also with all the financial issues going on in the world and we’re out there tricking off games and that really didn’t help. Then you have the fans spend their hard earn money to come out there and see just sloppy football. It was just like Shepherd’s Pie. Just a whole bunch of mess in there." -- Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith, on Carolina's 2010 season (Sports Radio Interviews)

CRAIGSLIST, DANA. THE KIDS USE CRAIGSLIST

"Maybe we can put an ad in the paper or you guys can say we want a quarterback that wants to play and throw the ball to show up and come see me, and if it works out we’ll put you out there," -- West Virginia head coach Dana Holgorsen, who is desperately seeking backup quarterbacks (Playmaker 5)

AFTER WATCHING SO MUCH TAPE OF DAVID CARR, SACKS ALL START TO BLEND TOGETHER

"That was the JaMarcus Russell year, with Brady Quinn, Trent Edwards, Kevin Kolb and Beck. So they asked me who I'd pick if I had the 10th pick in the draft. I told them Beck. They said he's not worth the 10th pick in the draft. I was standing on the table for him. I've never seen a guy play that well in college." -- Redskins offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan on how much he loved Redskins quarterback John Beck in the 2006 draft (Sports Illustrated)

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL UNCLE T.O. SHOWS UP AND FORCES YOU TO DO DRIVEWAY SIT-UPS

"I'm not sure how it's going to work, but they have to have Internet. They have to have Xbox," -- Chad Ochocinco, on his attempt to find a Patriots fan to live with for the first few weeks of the season (ESPN Boston)

I CAN TELL BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL ON THE FIELD. WHAT'S WITH THAT?

"How many guys are on it, that's hard to say. It could be 10, it could be a hundred or more; either way, it's too much. But around the league, you see guys on Sunday, and things don't add up; they don't look right. I see guys I saw in college, now they're in the NFL and they look totally different." -- Colts wide receiver Anthony Gonzalez on the prevalence of HGH in the NFL (Indianapolis Star)

SHH, YOU MIGHT GET SUED FOR LIBEL IF YOU FINISH THAT THOUGHT

"So, you think they found out yet I wasn’t the source of all their problems?" -- Raiders quarterback Jason Campbell, on the pass-protection problems of his former team (Washington Post)

EGO IS THE BEST AIR CONDITIONING, THAT'S HOW JERRY JONES KEEPS COWBOYS STADIUM COOL

"I heard some of the Hall of Famers say I would never really dreamed like this. I'm sorry. I did. I expect to be great. I expect to do what hadn't been done. I expect to provoke change. I expect when I walk into a room and it's 72 degrees, when I get there, it's going to be 70. I expect to make change." -- Hall of Famer Deion Sanders, in his induction speech (ESPN)

DON'T WORRY, IT ISN'T LIKE THOSE GUYS COULD BEAT BIG NAME CONFERENCE TEAMS ON THE ROAD

"[The athletic director] came to me with that and he was like, ‘Well, that quarterback’s a senior and he’s leaving.’ I really didn’t look at it. I knew that he had been there a long enough time that he was probably on the way out. After we signed on the dotted line, then I went and looked at the depth chart and realized he was still there. Then I was hoping he would turn pro early and he didn’t do that." -- Georgia head coach Mark Richt, on scheduling Boise State (and Kellen Moore) for the Bulldogs' season opener (Sports Radio Interviews)

SURE, THEY HAVE THE BRAVES, BUT IT'S A THIRD-RATE SYMPHONY!

"I woke up, saw my pregnant wife, and all the teams talking to me are way up North, and I said, ‘I don’t want to do it,’" -- Retired Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder on his decision to leave the game (Sports Grid)

THE GUYS LIKED IT SO MUCH, THE FRONT OFFICE KNEW THEY HAD TO PICK UP MCNABB

"We had good guys, by and large, (but Moss) walked in the locker room and vomited on it." -- Ex-Vikings head coach Brad Childress, on the recently retired Randy Moss (NFL.com)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 12 Aug 2011

41 comments, Last at 15 Aug 2011, 10:09am by Dean

Comments

1
by Karma Coma :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 12:57pm

Is it just me, or have the lead-ins taken a turn from charmingly facetious to damn near mean-spirited?

5
by Temo :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 2:20pm

Haven't really noticed. Anything in particular?

9
by drobviousso :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 3:51pm

I don't mind a little barb in my wit

2
by bubqr :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 12:58pm

I still can't figure out Channing Crowder.

3
by MilkmanDanimal :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 1:08pm

Obvious joke--remove the word "on" after [expletive] in the first quote.

4
by jw124164 :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 1:12pm

I don't get the crocs reference in the first quote ....

7
by JoeHova :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 3:26pm

I assume it's something about having to walk through a lot of shit? I agree that the joke seems a little forced.

34
by Rivers McCown :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 9:59pm

Think of the "he" not as Tarvaris, but instead as the person who usurped his job.

35
by Rivers McCown :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 10:00pm

I could've been more specific there but I omitted it in the interest of not bringing up He Who Shall Not Be Named

6
by Dean :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 2:27pm

So what we've learned is that Deion is still a jackass 5 years later.

12
by bernie (not verified) :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 4:18pm

Was that ever in question? The worst thing that ever happened to football analysis was Sanders yelling his two cents about everything every 5 minutes. There's a cocaine OD that needs to happen sometime soon.

16
by JoeHova :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 6:14pm

That's classy.

13
by Temo :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 5:46pm

Still hating.

39
by Dean :: Mon, 08/15/2011 - 9:58am

Yes I am, and I wouldn't pretend otherwise.

23
by Danish Denver-Fan :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 7:12am

I'm interested to know why you think so? I'm too young of a footballfan to have seen him in action, but what I see, is a guy who was the best and he knew it. I find him a good announcer; probably as much of an expert as Tony Kornheiser, but way, way more entertaining. I love his shtick, frankly.

Is it because he couldn't (wouldn't) tackle? Because he went out of his way to make a lot of money?

26
by Theo :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 9:46am

He was ridiculously good and knew it.
A lot of people don't like others to be successful and cocky/arrogant at the same time, but I don't think he did it in a disrespectful way to others.

27
by TomC :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 11:25am

The only thing that ever bothered me about Deion was the showboating on the field, which really wasn't that bad compared to the league average these days. Lots of people didn't like his flashy clothes, the people he hung around with, and the lack of false humility.

I agree with you that he's entertaining and knowledgeable as a color guy and studio talking head.

36
by Jerry :: Sun, 08/14/2011 - 5:01am

Deion's showboating was over the top for the time, and helped lead to today's ridiculous (IMHO) league average. And his aversion to contact was offputting - I want my Hall of Fame corners to at least be willing in run support.

38
by Aaron Brook's Good Twin (not verified) :: Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:47pm

Deion could have been the best corner in NFL history, but he wasn't. As it was, he wasn't even the best Sanders taken in the top-10.

31
by Nathan :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:12pm

Wait, what? I'm pretty sure I know more about football than Tony Kornheiser. Or at the very least, I care more about what's actually occurring on the field than TMZ bullshit. And I'm sure Deion has forgotten more about football that I'll ever know.

In conclusion, Kornheiser is the fucking worst.

32
by tuluse :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:20pm

At least he's not Dennis Miller.

40
by Dean :: Mon, 08/15/2011 - 10:00am

Don't insult Dennis Miller by comparing him to Kornheiser. Maybe you didn't get his jokes, or didn't find them funny. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. But the one thing you knew about Dennis Miller, love him or hate him, was that he had that gig because he genuinely loved football. Kornhole seemed like he would rather be anywhere but in that booth where he was forced to watch the game.

33
by Temo :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 4:57pm

I think Deion is a great football analyst, when he wants to be.

Dean's an Eagles fan. That's all you need to know re: Deion.

41
by Dean :: Mon, 08/15/2011 - 10:09am

Correction: USED to be an Eagles fan.

We should also point out here that Temo is a cowshit fan, so he's predisposed to apologizing for Deion's douchebaggery.

This is a guy who, on the day he was drafted, said the Falcons would have to "put me on layaway." He's wearing more bling than Mr. T, despite having never played a down of pro football at that point (although I'm sure he was highly paid at FSU).

He then followed it up by prancing around like a jackass every time he had the ball in his hands. It got even more nauseating when Berman & Company started chanting "prime time" on the highlight shows as if his antics were something to be lauded.

I'd be the first to admit, I'm not old-school, I'm just old. I was raised better than that. No player is bigger than the game. When I taught football to my nephews, I always instilled the lesson, "act like BARRY Sanders, not DEION Sanders." And when it comes to scoring TDs, "act like you've been there before." If you're really that good, you don't need to thump your chest and point at yourself and scream "everybody look at me!"

I didn't like showboating when it was Merton Hanks. I didn't like it when it was Mark Gastineau. I didn't like it when it was White Shoes Johnson. If I was older, I suspect I wouldn't have liked Joe Willie Namath. The team has nothing to do with it. Deion was just as much of a jackass on all 4 of the teams for which he played.

As for his analyisis, I couldn't even tell you what network he's on, so I can't say I have any opinion at all. I'd be predisposed to disliking him, but I like to think I'm openminded enough that if he's as good as people are saying he is, I'd acknowledge it.

8
by drobviousso :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 3:50pm

1) The ground lamb after the Tebow-Child quote was a bit confusing, till I realized it wasn't a religious joke. Well done if it was on purpose.

2) Jason Campbell wins this week in quotes.

3) Crowder wins this week in life.

11
by justanothersteve :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 4:05pm

I loved Campbell's quote. And if Beck isn't the Redskins' answer at QB, he can always sing 'Loser' during the halftime show.

25
by Otis Taylor89 :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 8:18am

But he's not even worth two turntables and a microphone let alone a top 10 pick.

10
by Marko :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 3:51pm

The guys caught in the Iron Bowl ticket sting must not have ever seen Sea of Love.

My favorite part of that story was this: "Some of those arrested as part of Iron Snare stopped in on their lunch breaks to claim what they thought were football tickets, only to be handcuffed and escorted out to a waiting bus as tunes like 'Walk This Way' and 'Another One Bites the Dust' were piped over a sound system."

14
by DEW (not verified) :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 5:54pm

Hmm...Campbell's quote was great, I actually misread the first quote without the "on" until I saw it was the Seahawks talking (which says a lot), Beck may not be worth the 10th pick in the draft but he currently has more of a career than three of the other four guys Shanahan mentioned, and...

...honestly, I'm really impressed by Georgia actually having the guts to go and play a real team in a non-conference game as opposed to scheduling Florida PD&Q three times. (Not a lot of brains, because winning the SEC is a free shot into the BCS title game until the voters notice that the bowl games are the only time the conference ever plays anyone with a chance of beating them...or of losing by less than 30, but that's a different complaint.) I sincerely hope they win the SEC now.

15
by Yaguar :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 5:59pm

What is with this sudden revisionist history about John Beck and Tarvaris Jackson being great QBs who were persecuted by their original franchises?

17
by Karma Coma :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 10:02pm

I think some fans feel, justifiably in my opinion, that their mediocrity was unappreciated in its own time, and that their development was abandoned by impatient regimes in favor of stop gap QBs.

22
by justanothersteve :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 1:11am

People always want to be the first to find the next Jim Del Gaizo, Danny Kanell, or Bobby Douglass.

18
by Nathan :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 10:06pm

Shepherds pie sucks.

28
by TomC :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 11:36am

I disagree, strongly. But I was a bit surprised that Smith chose that particular metaphor. I didn't think the dish was that widely known (witness drobviousso's confusion over the "ground lamb" reference), and I wouldn't have pegged Steve Smith as a lover of English pub fare (can we look forward to "me and Cam are like bangers and mash out there" or "Jordan Gross in a towel looks like a chip butty with hair").

30
by Nathan :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:09pm

I will confess, being from New Hampshire, to be referring to New England Style Shepard's Pie (with ground beef and corn) not the more traditional English version.

37
by dbostedo :: Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:12pm

"Bangers and Mash" would be a GREAT nickname for them. Or for a cheesy cop show. Or a porn. On second thought, maybe they should stay away from it.

19
by Michael LaRocca (not verified) :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 10:08pm

I have always liked Jason Campbell. Great quote.

20
by Michael LaRocca (not verified) :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 10:09pm

I always read the speaker first (for context), then the quote, then the heading. It all makes a whole lot more sense that way.

24
by Danish Denver-Fan :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 7:20am

Agreed - I always and up having to read the quote again to get the context.

29
by tuluse :: Sat, 08/13/2011 - 12:53pm

I like to read everything in the order it's presented. It creates some suspense as you wonder how it's going to tie together.

21
by jimbohead :: Fri, 08/12/2011 - 11:51pm

please continue the run of futurama references. truly fantastic.