Andrew and Sterling take an awards-style look at the crowded playoff picture. Plus, a special Thanksgiving Loser League announcement!
19 Aug 2011
compiled by Rivers McCown
"The other stuff he is making easy like boats. Dawg boats? Come on man get on the boat. We are going to go out on a boat. We got some women. Well we are out of practice at 3:30. I will meet you over there at 4. That is just what you say. I am sorry. That’s the truth." -- Ex-Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin, on the temptations boosters offer football players (Sports Radio Interviews)
"I can’t tell you his name, I don’t know where he’s from, I don’t know if he can throw it left-handed or right-handed. I don’t know anything. He was going through the acclimation period where he can’t put pads on right now and can only practice once a day." -- West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen, on the solution to last week's "no third quarterback" problem, Ian Loy (WV Metro News)
"You know what I said after that? I said, 'Who's Mayor Bloomberg?' Dead serious." -- Jets wide receiver Plaxico Burress, upon hearing the Mayor of New York wanted to raise his bail money (ESPN New York)
"I think we’ve got a good quarterback group. I think a lot of the stuff is overblown. I don’t live any relationship through the media, so people want to come out and [ask], ‘How’s your relationship, how’s this?’ That’s nobody’s business but our own." -- Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, on his relationship with Tim Tebow (Sports Radio Interviews)
"$20,000 REALLY???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, on his fine for nearly decapitating Andy Dalton (Twitter)
"Nobody is -— nobody lacks ethics because they’re poor. There are millions of Americans who are categorized financially as poor who have ethics and don’t take things that belong to them. The truth is, though, people don’t like to admit their faults. Very few people will own their own baggage. That’s why therapy is good for all of us. So people make excuses for doing things. I’m poor so I took $30,000 from a booster. No, you lack ethics, and you just happened to be poor. But a lot of poor people don’t take money that’s not their money" -- ESPN Radio Host Colin Cowherd, on the state of college athletics (Sports Grid)
"Some of us had to grow up in poverty-stricken urban neighborhoods, and we just had to adapt to our environment. I know that it's wrong. But people act like it's some crazy thing they never heard of. They don't know." -- Eagles quarterback Michael Vick, on dogfighting (GQ)
"I don't admit because they still gotta prove it on the field. We beat them by ten points. It wasn't even close. The game wasn't even close. We beat them by ten points and it wasn't even a contest. I was surprised we didn't beat them by more." -- Jets coach Rex Ryan, on beating Indianapolis when they were 14-0 in 2009 (Sports Radio Interviews)
"We smoked it all." -- Oregon defensive back Cliff Harris, responding to a police officer's question of why his car smelled of marijuana (Sports Grid)
"Hawaii is part of the United States."
"Since, it's been awhile."
"Okay." -- Discussion between FOX broadcaster Joe Buck and normal studio host Terry Bradshaw during Thursday's Eagles-Steelers game. (Deadspin)
"This proposal seeks to make a reasonable accommodation in allowing an institution to provide traditional bagel spreads to student-athletes in conjunction with the bagels it is already permitted to provide." -- NCAA Proposal No. 2011-78(The Dagger)
"Jason Hill is a really good receiver that I still don’t understand how is not with the 49ers anymore," -- Jaguars quarterback David Garrard on his team's No. 2 wide receiver (ESPN's AFC South Blog)
"I don't think so, and here's the issue — when you pass something for player safety reasons only, and you then go back on that, you're almost sending a message to the players that you don't care about player safety" -- Former NFL VP of officiating Mike Pereira, on the new kickoff rules (Shutdown Corner)
"I think I can say this now, because it's not going to hurt anybody's feelings, and it's the truth ... I didn't want to come to Philadelphia. Being the third-team quarterback is nothing to smile about. Cincinnati and Buffalo were better options." -- Michael Vick, in the same GQ article, about his post-imprisonment options (GQ)
"Not really. We kind of tried to hook up a few times. I remember the first time I met him. This probably isn’t the coolest way to tell a story about how you meet somebody. I think I was at a University of Washington Women’s basketball game with my two little girls and I go to get a drink or whatever and this kid comes walking up and he’s like ‘Hey Mr. Hasselbeck I wanted to introduce myself.’ I could tell he was a football player by his build or whatever and I’m like ‘Hey what’s up man.’ I thought he was a linebacker or tight end or something. He’s like ‘Hey my name is Jake Locker. I’m a quarterback here.’" -- Titans quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, on his first time meeting his current backup (Sports Radio Interviews)
"I think the magic number's winning six games ... and the key to doing that is scoring more points than the opposition, playing defense and [the] kicking game." -- New Indiana Hoosiers head coach Kevin Wilson, showing a little sass with local radio about how the Hoosiers can make it to a bowl game (Dr. Saturday)
"You've got one guy in the league, Nnamdi, and all he does is press. You ever see him make a tackle? He presses the wide receiver, and he's great at it. But there's more to playing DB than just pressing wide receivers." -- Lions defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham on new Eagles cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha (Detroit Free Press)
If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown
51 comments, Last at 25 Aug 2011, 10:06pm by Intropy