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05 Aug 2011

The Week In Quotes: August 5, 2011

compiled by Rivers McCown

I GUESS THIS MAKES YOU CHRISTIAN LAETTNER AND EDDIE HOUSE, RESPECTIVELY

"Dream Team." -- Newly signed Eagles quarterback Vince Young (Philadelphia Sports Daily)

"I feel like we are the Miami Heat of the NFL..... Except we win the final game...." -- Newly signed Eagles defensive end Jason Babin (Twitter, actually readable if you highlight the text)

IF YOU TRY TO TAKE ONE OF THE STARRED HELMETS, GEORGE TEAGUE WILL LEVEL YOU

"This team has been around 51 years, and it's a great tradition. You have to earn the right to wear that star, and we're very clear with the players about that. Just because you sign with the Dallas Cowboys doesn't mean you earned that thing yet." -- Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett, on his motivational technique to keep stars off the helmets of rookies (ESPN Dallas)

JUST LIKE DOUBLE JEOPARDY, ONLY WITH MORE INCOMPLETIONS

"I actually have very little faith in Mark Sanchez. Nah, let me stop playing, I wouldn’t say that about my guy. I had to just throw you guys a loophole." -- Jets receiver Santonio Holmes, on his confidence in the young Jets quarterback (Sports Radio Interviews)

EASY AS ONE, TWO, THREE FLYERS RIGHT SET ON EIGHT!

"What used to be ‘Trips Right Zebra Left [something, something] X Dagger Y Shallow Cross Fake 40’ is now ‘Zero Right Slot Ride 126 Z Snag X Quick Out" -- New Titans quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, on the terminology changes between moving from Seattle to Tennessee (ESPN AFC South Blog)

THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT SO WELL FOR SISQO

"I think he knew it was time. He knew I was ready. He saw me through last year. The highs and the lows and said ‘alright it’s time to unleash you.’ That’s what makes a great coach. He’s going to do what is right for the players and that’s why he has a long tenure in the NFL." -- New Cardinals quarterback Kevin Kolb, on why Andy Reid was willing to let him go (Sports Radio Interviews)

WOULD YOU LIKE A NEW PUBLICLY FINANCED STADIUM, SIR?

"Does anybody feel just a little bad about calling me cheap last year? Just a smidgen?" -- Panthers owner Jerry Richardson, after his offseason spending spree (Carolina Growl)

NOBODY'S USING IT? WHAT A DUKE-TASTROPHE!

"I mean I hear them all the time. You know, I go with a few of them. I mean, there’s some that kind of catch you off guard, like Aguzman or something like that. You’re like ‘who?’ But you know, I go with a few of them." -- New Eagles cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha, on people trying to pronounce his name correctly (Sports Radio Interviews)

NOTE TO SELF: CHECK PATRIOTS INJURY REPORT RELIGIOUSLY TO SEE IF AARON HERNANDEZ DEVELOPS A STOMACH VIRUS

"I drive a Toyota Prius, so I was going to let him use my Prius on the weekends, and that's about the best I can do right now. I have some left over McDonald's coupons since I don't eat there anymore." -- Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, on offering compensation to teammate Aaron Hernandez for giving up number 85 to him (AP)

ONE WAY FOR HOUSTON TO FINALLY ADDRESS NOSE TACKLE

"I’ll take those touchdowns and I’ll take that production so Mike Lombardi can call it whatever he wants. He can come out here; I’ve never seen him at practice before so, he might have a different take on it if he’s not 2000 miles away commenting on something he’s never seen before." -- Texans tackle Eric Winston on Mike Lombardi's comments that the Texans are "soft" (Texans Chick)

2, 4, 6, 8, TRADE A HIGH DRAFT PICK FOR A SLIGHT UPGRADE!

"We want Orton!" -- Subtle Chad Henne detractors at Miami's scrimmage at Sun Life Stadium (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)

OR MAYBE THEY WON'T, AND IF THEY DON'T, THEN MAYBE WE'LL POSSIBLY BE HAPPY WITH WHAT WE'VE GOT

"I think we’re gonna go with this group. I feel pretty good about them. We have some playmakers both at the tight end position and the wide receiver position. I think this group will get us where we want to go. You always trying to look at things and trying to improve but barring any unforeseen situation coming up this is the group we’re gonna roll with. Things could change." -- Vikings coach Leslie Frazier on if the team will be able to replace Sidney Rice (Sports Radio Interviews)

OR IF YOU DON'T HAVE A POSSE

"Don't fight if. You don't know how." -- New 49ers wide receiver Braylon Edwards, allegedly tweeting before his posse started a fight with staff. Edwards would later claim his Twitter was hacked (Deadspin)

MY DAD ALWAYS PREFERRED TO USE BOOKFACE

"I don't Twitter, I don't MyFace, I don't do any of those things, so I'd probably be the last to know." -- Patriots coach Bill Belichick, when asked of Ochocinco's social media habits (AP)

DOUG FARRAR HAS PROBABLY DREAMT OF DOING THE SAME TO TIM RUSKELL

"He ran in the room and punched me [when he heard the news] and ran out of the room crying, so I get it, I get it." -- Seahawks general manager John Schneider on how his son reacted to Hasselbeck's defection to Tennessee (Shutdown Corner)

ONLY FOR THE LAST TIN OF ANCHOVIES ON THE PLANET

"Could you have turned that down?" -- Panthers defensive end Charles Johnson, with a laugh, on his new contract that pays him a $30 million signing bonus (AP)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 05 Aug 2011

27 comments, Last at 09 Aug 2011, 7:31pm by Kevin from Philly

Comments

1
by Danish Denver-Fan :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:28am

Who does Richardson really think he is fooling? I mean, he's spending 'cause he has to, right?

6
by Jimmy :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:39pm

The minimum spend doesn't hit until 2013 so he doesn't have to spend his cash this year. Wanting credit for fielding the worst team in football is however the kind of person Jerry Richardson seems to be - ie 'That turd must be worth something, I made it.' sort of logic.

7
by tuluse :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:45pm

I'm pretty sure you are wrong about that. I believe the cash minimums start immediately.

http://www.nationalfootballpost.com/At-last-a-deal-to-end-the-NFL-lockou...

8
by Dean :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 2:04pm

PFT has been reporting all week that teams don't actually have to spend to the floor until 2013. The league as a whole has to spend a certain minimum, but on a team by team basis, there is no floor yet. That doesn't mean he's right, of course.

11
by tuluse :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 2:28pm

That seems like it would be really hard to enforce.

14
by PTR (not verified) :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:57pm

Why? Both the NFL and NFLPA see every contract, so its add up the cash and see they add up to 99% of the League wide cap. If not the NFL writes a check to cover the rest.

Remember the league has payout the equivalent of 99% of the cap in cash (ex. bonuses paid this year, count entirely this year while spread out for cap purposes) this and next year, this isn't cap room.

16
by tuluse :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:00pm

I mean in terms of getting owners to spend money.

So Jerry Richardson can just spend 40 million this year and let the other 31 owners pick up most of the difference? Seems unlikely this would be agreed to.

12
by Jimmy :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 2:48pm

I have no idea who is right here. The info available tends to be incomplete and often contradictory.

15
by akn :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:16pm

Is there any source that delineates the difference between cash expenditures and cap hits in the new CBA (or even in the past CBA so we can use that as a point of reference)? All these mysterious "restructuring" stories makes me think that the whole NFL accounting system is quite flexible.

2
by jimbohead :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:29am

so the big question is, did we just see Belichick make a 30 rock reference?

17
by dbostedo :: Sat, 08/06/2011 - 1:01pm

I'd like to think so, but on "30 Rock" it's "YouFace", not "MyFace".

3
by Theo :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:33am

"Edwards would later claim his Twitter was hacked"
Hackers are the new "some guy with a mask".

4
by Theo :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:35am

Myface.
I call it Twitface.
The guy is twitfaced: When he has just been with his phone and hasn't touched a beer the last 4 hours in the party.

5
by Harrison Bergeron (not verified) :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:46am

Does Ocho driving a Prius cancel out the enviro-karma from him showing up to practice last year in a semi truck?

also, Futurama!

9
by The Hypno-Toad :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 2:10pm

What a Dukelicious "The Critic" reference, followed pretty closely by some great Futurama referencing!

10
by Podge (not verified) :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 2:12pm

"DOUG FARRAR HAS PROBABLY DREAMT OF DOING THE SAME TO TIM RUSKELL" leaves a brilliant mental image. Particularly the running out of the room crying bit.

13
by White Rose Duelist :: Fri, 08/05/2011 - 3:08pm

Jason Babin looks like he's trying out for one of FO's new bodybuilding ads on his Twitter page.

18
by Anonymous1 (not verified) :: Sat, 08/06/2011 - 3:46pm

Rivers McCown is a pseudonym, right? Was McNabb Brees your second choice?

19
by Rivers McCown :: Sun, 08/07/2011 - 12:35am

S'all natural.

Well, Rivers is technically my middle name. But yeah, other than that.

20
by Intropy :: Sun, 08/07/2011 - 1:22am

In my head, you are a big fan of UCLA and Weezer.

21
by Rivers McCown :: Sun, 08/07/2011 - 1:24am

Don't mind UCLA, but don't have a rooting interest in them.

The Blue Album is great, after that Weezer is unlistenable to me.

22
by dbostedo :: Sun, 08/07/2011 - 2:31pm

Well the UCLA QB was Cade McNown... There are three McCown brothers that played for Louisiana Tech, Texas A&M, and Sam Houston State.

23
by PK (not verified) :: Sun, 08/07/2011 - 10:49pm

Every Eagles fan should hate VY for giving us that stupid label. Hope he's getting shit from the people inside...not the Eagles way Vince. Maybe we'll just send you to Dallas.

24
by chemical burn :: Mon, 08/08/2011 - 2:59pm

Meh, as an Eagles fan I am used to controversies and distractions a lot bigger (and stupider) than our back-up QB saying something moronic.

25
by Intropy :: Mon, 08/08/2011 - 3:42pm

It'll get better with the 2015 Redeem Team.

26
by Harris :: Tue, 08/09/2011 - 9:37am

He's the backup QB. When has anyone cared about anything the backup QB had to say? Nobody gives a shit about anything Billy Volek or Jordan Palmer have to say.

Hail Hydra!

27
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 08/09/2011 - 7:31pm

Outside of Doug Flutie back in the day, you're 100% correct.