compiled by Rivers McCown

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE, IT COSTS FOLKS LIKE YOU AND ME

"I was pretty upset when they weren’t showing respect to America during the national anthem. There were about 10 players who didn’t put their arms across their chest. This is America. They should at least give respect to America." -- Panthers tight end Jeremy Shockey, on the lack of patriotism on the Texans sideline (Houston Chronicle)

"If he’s so patriotic, why was he looking at our bench instead of the flag? Where did he come up with the number 10? Was he counting? Why was he paying attention to us during the national anthem?" -- Texans linebacker DeMeco Ryans, on Shockey's comments

YOU GIVE ME THIS FREEWAY SENSATION WHEN YOU'RE DRIVIN' AROUND SO SLOWLY

"Anyone who leaves a motorcycle out should expect to have it stolen." -- Florida State freshman linebacker Arrington Jenkins, to the police, during questioning about a stolen motorcycle (Warchant.com)

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN FLORIDA

"Those guys couldn't get a f---ing wide receiver if it hit them in the head. They haven't had anyone decent since Jimmy Smith." -- Falcons cornerback Dunta Robinson, on the state of affairs in Jacksonville (Twitter)

"Fortunately, for us, the team didn’t die on us like last week," -- Buccaneers head coach Raheem Morris, trying to take something positive from his team's loss to the Cowboys last Saturday (Pro Football Talk)

UNLESS OF COURSE THE WASHINGTON JOB OPENS UP, IN WHICH CASE, SEE YA!

"It’s completely unacceptable and will not be part of the program going forward. It’s a privilege, not a right, to play football for the UCLA Bruins. With the commitment you make when you sign on there comes a commitment to do what is asked of you by your coaches on a daily basis. I can just tell you in no uncertain terms that that tradition will not be part of tradition going forward." -- New UCLA head coach Jim Mora Jr., on a UCLA tradition of cutting a workout short (Inside UCLA)

TAKE THE MAGIC HELMET TORCH TO HELP YOU LIGHT THE WAY

"You saw one of the best quarterbacks in the game, probably to ever play this game, and his coach got in his butt on the sideline last week. Tom Brady. Who gets in your butt?" -- NFL Network analyst Deion Sanders, to Tony Romo (SportsGrid)

JUST LET ME MAKE SURE WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT FOOD

"I’ve had no complaints from Caroline." -- New Southern Mississippi head coach Ellis Johnson, answering a question about his energy (Caroline is his wife.) (SportsGrid)

DON'T KNOW MY FIBONACCI OR PYTHAGORAS

"You're at six minutes, you need points, it's fourth down, are you kicking a field goal or are you going for it? ... I wanna get back to that after the commercial, why not take the points here and try to get the ball back one more time?" -- FOX announcer Thom Brennaman, on why the Lions weren't kicking a field goal on fourth down with less than six minutes left, down 13. (Awful Announcing)

MY MOM DOESN'T BELIEVE IN FABRIC SOFTENER, BUT SHE'S NOT AROUND!

"Our equipment guys do a great job with washing everything." -- Interim Illinois head coach Vic Koenning, on if he was concerned that other players could possibly have caught a staph infection from fullback Jay Prosch (Chicago Tribune)

INDECENT PROPOSAL MEETS A ROUGH ECONOMY

"It's very important, especially for my fantasy team owners. They've been giving me a hard time. They'll say, `Will you please [play]. I'll send my wife down to visit you,'" -- Vikings running back Adrian Peterson, on returning from a high ankle sprain (Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

IN THAT AFTER WORKING WITH THE OFFENSE CHARLIE WEIS LEFT BEHIND, HE ALWAYS NEEDS TO HAVE A LITTLE CAPTAIN IN HIM

"He's a graduate assistant, a swashbuckling young man." -- Florida running backs coach Brian White, on new Florida quarterback coach Jeff Blasko (The Gainesville Sun)

YEARS GO BY STILL I DON'T KNOW, WHO SHALL INHERIT THIS EARTH

"We’re in hell now, but we have a vacation home in hell." -- Ravens pass rusher Terrell Suggs, on Baltimore making things harder for themselves (CSN Washington)

A NOVEL IDEA, THIS FULL ACCOUNTABILITY AT PENN STATE

"I'm willing to take full responsibility -- it was my fault. I started it, but as a quarterback for this university, I should be held to a higher standard. It should not have happened. I should've walked away from it." -- Penn State quarterback Matt McGloin, on a scuffle with a wide receiver that saw him hospitalized (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

BUT BRADFORD ALWAYS DRINKS PLENTY OF ... MALK?!?

"I drink a lot of milk." -- Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, on why his high ankle sprain is "better" than Sam Bradford's (Twitter)

THE EXAGGERATED RELEASE THAT COULD

"Yeah, I 'Tebowed'. Absolutely. Are you kidding me? Trust me, everybody in the world hears about this guy. He's a very, very good athlete. I said it last week, he's a winner. You look at his whole resume, the guy knows how to win. He knows how to win. Anytime you speak to a team or little kids or whatever about winning, I'm pretty sure his name's going to come up. How he does it, he does it. It's part of the game. I'm pretty sure I won't be the last one, and I wasn't the first one. That's what he does; he put it out there. I wanted to steal it. I don't think he'll mind, just for one play." -- Patriots defensive lineman Vince Wilfork, on stealing Tim Tebow's move (Shutdown Corner)

ALL PUNTERS RETIRE TO WORK IN SANTA'S WORKSHOP

"I'm sorry Santa!!! I had no idea you were actually real!!!" -- Patriots punter Zoltan Mesko, apologizing for his social faux pas (Twitter)

IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, THE WAY OFF IS TO SHOW THEM SUMPIN' BRAND NEW FOR THAT ASS

"You better know I am. One: I am pissed off. I am just being very honest with you because I am tired of losing. I don’t like losing. And three in a row? That’s starting that slide. We gotta get off this slide." -- Raiders head coach Hue Jackson, on how losing three games in a row has affected him (Sports Radio Interviews)

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU DID TO GET SUSPENDED IN THE FIRST PLACE?

"If I cant play then can't nobody play... Lights out!" -- Steelers linebacker James Harrison, commenting on the lighting problem in San Francisco during his one-game suspension (Twitter)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 23 Dec 2011

6 comments, Last at 23 Dec 2011, 6:01pm by jonsilver