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» Futures: UCLA QB Brett Hundley

Beyond the immediate considerations of Hundley's potential, the quarterback's tape raises larger questions about the position.

30 Dec 2011

The Week In Quotes, December 30, 2011

compiled by Rivers McCown

I AM MORE FAMILIAR WITH SINNERS THAN SAINTS, MY DEAR, AND SINNERS ALWAYS LOOK GOOD

"Yeah, I don't know. If if's and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas. I don't know. I have no idea." -- Patriots coach Bill Belichick, on how many yards Dan Marino would throw for today (ESPN Boston)

"The equipment managers ... that rub down those balls. Y'all know what I mean. Full service." -- Saints quarterback Drew Brees, during the post-game speech he made after breaking Marino's passing yardage record (Awful Announcing)

NOBODY ATE CHOCOLATE-COVERED ALMONDS BEFORE PRACTICE

"I checked some weights. There were some leftover turkey and some stuffing that was kind of reminiscent of the meals that were eaten over the break. But there was a nice, healthy sweat acquired, and that will happen again." -- LSU head coach Les Miles, on the battle of the bulge (The Town Talk)

FACTORY OF SADNESS GIVEN THE WEEK OFF

"They threw a party. It was like a party. It was the most miserable game ever. Probably because we were losing too but I remember before the game walking on the field, Troy wasn’t playing and he had on boots, tights, socks, sweatpants, and there was nothing you could do to warm up at all. It was absolutely miserable. Then the fact they beat us and it was like the Super Bowl, they were hugging, kissing, and it was absolutely miserable. It was no doubt the most frigid I’ve ever been." -- Steelers safety Ryan Clark, on the last time Cleveland beat Pittsburgh (Sports Radio Interviews)

FEI AND S&P+ HAVE BOTH PREDICTED THE GROUND TO FINISH 10-2 NEXT SEASON

"The most memorable game I've had this year, I've got to say, was Auburn, because after the first couple of hits, everybody (on Auburn's defense) was just backing up. They didn't want to hit at all. ... Before I got to them, they just fell down and just laid on the ground." -- LSU fullback J.C. Copeland, on Auburn's defense (Montgomery Advertiser)

WELL THAT'S GENIUS MELISSA. WHAT A GREAT IDEA, LET ME WRITE THAT DOWN. SO YOU'RE SAYING WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO FALL ASLEEP IS GO TO SLEEP. RIGHT? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING MELISSA?

"What kind of question is that at this time? What kind of question is that? Why would you ask a question like that anyway?" -- Bears head coach Lovie Smith, on questions about Mike Martz's future in Chicago (Chicago Tribune)

ALL PART OF BEING A MAN, BEING 40

"You just put fires out all day and then you get home. And you continue to do it. And I thought, that doesn't sound right. That doesn't sound like much fun. That is exactly the way it is, for the most part." -- Oklahoma state head coach Mike Gundy, on why he tapered down the practice schedule (ESPN)

IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY TO FINE A PLAYER FOR NOT HAVING AN INDEPENDENT NEUROLOGIST ON THE SIDELINE...

"They’ve got guys looking at your uniform to make sure you’re wearing the right kind of socks. Why not have somebody there to protect your head? I think we definitely should have that." -- Rams safety Quintin Mikell, on independent neurologists at football games (New York Times)

LONG STORY SHORT, THE OREGON FOOTBALL TEAM WILL BE CONVERTED INTO THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY TERMINAL DISEASE INSTITUTE

"If you don’t know what you’re doing, I do, because I’m an Eagle Scout. The first heave was a test heave, because the guy seemed a little old, and I didn’t want to break his ribs or anything. So test heave, then it seemed like he could handle the full force, so I popped it out." -- Oregon offensive lineman Mark Asper, on saving a choking man with the Heimlich Maneuver at a team dinner. (The Register-Guard)

SOMETIMES IT CAN SEEM SO COLD, GOTTA DO WHAT YOU CAN TO COPE

"Yes, I do," he said. "No disrespect to anyone, but I've spent a lot of time studying different players, including Chris Johnson. I've watched a ton of his runs, especially during his 2,000-yard season. And yeah, I feel like I'm capable of a lot, but I'm not worrying about that yet." -- Dolphins running back Reggie Bush, on if he can win a rushing title (NFL.com)

IF ONLY THERE WERE PEOPLE, WHOSE JOB IT WAS TO WATCH BOWL GAMES AND TELL OTHERS ABOUT THEM, SO TRAGEDIES LIKE THIS COULD BE AVOIDED

"There is a perception problem; it's not a windfall. You just want to be able to break even. Sometimes you don't even break even. But there are significant benefits. You get some extra practice time. And anytime you can get on national television, it continues exposure for your program, which is very significant value." -- Clemson athletic director Terry Don Phillips, on a projected $185,000 loss from their upcoming trip to the Orange Bowl (The Post and Courier)

"We were fortunate that we could provide space for the bands in the past, but the seats in the lower bowl are all much better now for the fans and the band." -- BCS Championship game director of media relations John Sudsbury, on seats that LSU and Alabama are combining to buy for their bands at the low price of ~$1,000,000 (The Advocate)

MENU BOY NO BE COWARD, LIKE SHRIMP; MENU BOY BE BRAVE, LIKE PRAWN

"That was an embarrassing performance, really, in the run game. It's frustrating to watch because you know what the problems are. It looks like guys want to do their own thing. You've got to believe the guy next to you is going to do his job." -- Buccaneers cornerback Ronde Barber, on the 270 yards allowed to the Panthers on the ground last Sunday (The Tampa Tribune)

WELL THAT MAY BE, BUT AT LEAST HE ONLY NEEDS ONE GOGGLE WHEN HE GOES SWIMMING IN HIS POOL

"Rex Ryan is a disrespectful bastard. The Jets have a big-mouthed, big-bellied coach that talks too much." -- Giants running back Brandon Jacobs, after the Giants beat the Jets (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

IF YOU COME TO A FORK IN THE ROID, TAKE IT

"They don’t see how many plays (Cushing) makes that are unseen, unless you put the camera on it, slow it down and go in slow motion." -- Texans defensive coordinator Wade Phillips, on the Pro Bowl snub of Brian Cushing (Houston Chronicle)

#MYSTERYTEAM

"At first everybody thought it was a big joke but it wasn't a big joke. It's serious. It's real close. I think it will be within the next week or so. He would have never got his agent involved in it if he wasn't thinking about it. He can still play, you know that." -- Allen Wranglers coach Pat Pimmell, on the idea of the Wranglers signing Terrell Owens (The Dallas Morning News)

I'VE HAD TO WORK HARD EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, AND WHAT DO I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT? THIS BRIEFCASE AND THIS HAIRCUT

"I am not a fan of Gruden’s. Not today, not yesterday, not when I worked for the NFL and not when I was working on the field as a side judge. He was a loudmouth as a coach who constantly disrespected officials and he is a blowhard in the broadcast booth who spouts off when he doesn’t know what he is talking about." -- FOX columnist Mike Pereira, on Jon Gruden's comments about officials during Monday Night Football (Fox Sports)

MAN YOU WAS WHO YOU WAS 'FORE YOU GOT HERE

"I had people who can't throw a football telling me my mechanics were wrong. I had people taking shots at my character, classifying me as a thug, as a hoodlum. After Week 3 or 4, all these same people wanted an interview. I said, 'You were giving me all this crap and had so much to say about how I was gonna play, and now you wanna talk? No. Just sit back and watch the show, man." -- Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, on his "haters" (ESPN)

THAT IS A DISGUSTING ACT!

"I get to the stadium too early. I don't see that. But that'd be pretty awesome to see. I don't know if I want to see any of those people naked. They're not in real good shape up there." -- Lions center Dominic Raiola, on Packers fans mooning the team bus (Deadspin)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 30 Dec 2011

15 comments, Last at 03 Jan 2012, 12:44pm by Kevin from Philly

Comments

1
by BroncFan07 :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 12:55pm

I wonder who is a more interesting interview: Bill Belichick or the lighthouse outside Gillette Stadium.

4
by Andrew Potter :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 1:59pm

Belichick if you're asking intelligent questions.

The lighthouse if you aren't.

9
by TomC :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 3:55pm

I call bullshit. Show me an interview with Belichick where he answers questions in an engaged and respectful manner, and I will retract and apologize.

Or maybe you're saying no reporter has ever asked Belichick a question that is intelligent enough to merit being answered by Himself.

(Love the subject heading on the original comment, by the way. Duane Thomas ftw.)

11
by Boggle :: Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:44am

Here is the transcript of that press conference for those who prefer to read.
http://www.patriots.com/news/article-1/Bill-Belichick-Press-Conference-T...

When asked interesting questions, Belichick gives more insightful answers than almost anyone else in football.

12
by Purds :: Sat, 12/31/2011 - 2:26pm

Let's face it, BB is fine a few days after the game(s). When he's had time to compose himself, he answers good questions. The problem is that most people see only the interviews given right after games, like after the SB loss, and he's not gracious or forthcoming.

13
by TomC :: Sat, 12/31/2011 - 6:08pm

I retract and apologize. Thanks for setting me straight.

2
by Jerry P. :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 1:06pm

Gruden is right. The officiating in the NFL is terrible. I got blasted for pointing this out a couple months ago in the all-22 film thread but I stand by it. You won't be allowed to have all-22 film because then lowlight reels of refs being old, slow, and blind would be all over YouTube.

Pereira is as useless as tits on a bull. The majority of the time that FOX goes to defer to his "expertise" he either offers no insight or is flat wrong.

Pereira, shut your mouth you old, slow, blind bull with tits.

3
by DEW (not verified) :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 1:41pm

That's a pretty accurate description of Pereira, but he's also right in this case. Not a week goes by when I don't have to suffer through some ex-NFL (player or coach) color commentator watch a "hit on a defenseless receiver" flag fly and start babbling about how it was a perfectly legitimate hit and the ref is blind and so on and so forth, when it's obvious the penalty was called correctly. We've been through sixteen weeks of football this season; you'd think maybe, just MAYBE some of these guys could learn the difference between "the ref isn't calling the rule right" and "I think the rule is stupid."

7
by Jerry P. :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 3:14pm

It confuses everyone because sometimes they call hits not for being helmet to helmet but on a "defenseless receiver". I've seen, with my own eyes, it called this way dozens of times. And they say that even though it wasn't helmet to helmet that the receiver was defenseless. Okay, I am fine with that. I guess. But the problem is, and I think this is what Gruden was alluding to, is that why aren't other non helmet to helmet hits on defenseless receivers called?

Read the article the quote is pulled from. In the first example Gruden is wrong. It was helmet to helmet and should be called. But in the second, he is 100% correct in asking why he wasn't considered defenseless even though it wasn't helmet to helmet because we have all seen hits like that called and the ref specifically cites "hit on a defenseless receiver" not "helmet to helmet".

That's what Gruden is asking.

Also, I go back to my previous statement. I have seen Mike Pereira make flat WRONG calls when FOX defers to him. Calls the refs got right. And where was 'ol Mikey when he was making these calls? Why I do believe he was in a broadcast studio. Standing their slack-jawed trying to offer up some explanation for why the ref called the play completely differently than he thought it should. I'm openly questioning how good he did his job for the NFL based on what I've seen of him doing his job for FOX.

And that's my main beef with what he is saying. Not that he isn't partially right about Gruden but he seems equally clueless sometimes about the rules and he was the head of freaking officiating. When he can bat above .500 when FOX defers to him then maybe he can start calling out others for their misunderstandings.

I just want to point out that no one in the world watches more film than Gruden excepting those currently employed by NFL teams. They can't criticize the officiating like Gruden can and I imagine after watching hours and hours of just terrible officiating, most of which caused by old, slow guys being out of position, he just has to say something.

Again, that's the reason you won't ever get all-22 film. Because then we can all become Grudens and that would hurt Mikey's feelings.

6
by Sisyphus :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 2:54pm

Actually it is possible that both of them are correct, certainly Gruden comes across as an a$$clown a lot of the time and his commentary adds little or nothing to the games. (Neither do ad homiminem attacks.)

That the officials make mistakes is a given, the game is so fast and so much happens in any given play that getting everything right on any given play is hardly a possibility. (I played on the line and there are technical holding violations on virtually every play.) You are never going to get a game called perfectly or even close so get over it. But the game NEVER comes down to one call (which you can't control) because for that call there were a dozen other critical plays where your mistakes (which you can control) cost you a winning opportunity. (Your position coach will be talking to you and your mates about those chances in the film room which frankly is the only way you can completely understand the all 22 view. You need to know the play call, adjustments, the line calls, and what the players actually thought they were seeing at the time.)

The game is not about perfection it is about continuing to move forward in an attempt to make the play perfect. Sometimes you get really close.

8
by Dean :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 3:45pm

You're still confusing the fact that you don't like the rule with the fact that the refs are calling it as it correctly and Pereira knows the rules (and explains them) better than you, me, and the clowns in the booth.

Feel free to hate the rules - that's your opinion and you're entitled to it. But it doesn't make Pereira's description of them somehow wrong.

5
by nat :: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 2:08pm

...learn the difference between "the ref isn't calling the rule right" and "I think the rule is stupid."

That would be good advice to us all as we head towards the playoffs.

No one will follow that advice. But it's good nonetheless.

14
by Michael LaRocca (not verified) :: Mon, 01/02/2012 - 11:33am

"Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" --Tim Tebow

15
by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 01/03/2012 - 12:44pm

Rivers, for next week I hope you include something from Erin Andrews' interview of the Wisconsin O-line on Monday. Apparently, the big thing among them is one guy who shoots snot at everybody - as in blowing his nose at them. Unfortunately, this aired while I was getting my lunch ready, so not too good for that, but it did seem pretty funny in a frat boy way.