compiled by Rivers McCown

I USED TO BE WITH IT, BUT THEN THEY CHANGED WHAT "IT" WAS. NOW, WHAT I'M WITH ISN'T IT

"I don't know what Philip may be going through right now. But I will say, to me he seems distracted, for some reason. Like on the sideline, he seems like he's just distracted. And I've always said this: It's hard to be 'the guy.' When they say this is your team, it's hard to be the guy, because you get all the questions of what's wrong and what's right. And then you get your teammates who expect certain things from you, and when that doesn't happen, you get strange looks in the locker room. It's hard to be that guy when it's your team, so that may have a little bit to do with what's going on, too." -- Jets running back LaDainian Tomlinson, on Philip Rivers' struggles this season (San Diego Union-Tribune)

"I agree with what LT said about it’s hard being the guy. But I think it’s a lot harder when it’s no longer your team, and you’re not the guy." -- Chargers general manager A.J. Smith, on Tomlinson's comments.

THE VIKINGS AND JAGUARS ALREADY ACQUIRED FIRST-ROUND QUARTERBACKS LAST DRAFT THOUGH

"Whatever team relocates to Morgantown, West Virginia, where my parents live." -- Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck, on where he would like to play football (Pro Football Talk)

IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE SUBTEXT

"Suck for Luck ... I haven’t heard that. I really haven’t. ... Explain it to me." -- Dolphins defensive coordinator Mike Nolan, on the premise of sucking for Luck (The Palm Beach Post)

OF COURSE, HE SAYS THAT EVERY SUNDAY HE HAS TO SIT NEXT TO TERRY BRADSHAW ANYWAY

"T.O. ... Tiki ... give me the bullet." -- Ex-Cowboys and Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson, on whether he'd rather employ Terrell Owens or Tiki Barber at gunpoint (SportsGrid)

I MYSELF HAVE FOUND A REAL RIVAL IN MYSELF

"I think they're just one of the most vicious, most ruthless organizations ever created by mankind. I think you would compare the NCAA to Al Capone and to the Mafia." -- Illinois representative Bobby Rush, on the state of the NCAA (New York Times)

"HAVE HIM WEAR THIS FOR ABOUT A WEEK. IT'S A TRANS-SCROTAL PATCH." "OF COURSE IT IS."

"We learned about what happens when a coach gets hormonal and tries to jam it down their frickin' throat for the touchdown." -- Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, on running the ball even though it was fourth-and-2 from the three-yard-line with 14 seconds left (Shutdown Corner)

MAMMAS DON'T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE REFEREES

"Just so you know, Knox is two years old." -- USC head coach Lane Kiffin, upon informing the media that Knox Kiffin can spot a ball better than a Pac-12 official (Orange County Register)

IN FACT, HIS ONLY VIEWER LEFT AT THIS POINT IS RYAN MALLETT

"Yeah, I don’t talk to Phil. Phil doesn’t talk to me. He did text me after that, saying ‘Hey, sorry to drag your name into this.’ I wrote back, ‘Phil I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ He said, ‘Well on my show, Inside the NFL, I made this statement.’ I said, ‘Phil, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t watch your show, along with a lot of other people that I don’t think watch that show.’ Giving himself a little more credit than probably was merited" -- Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, on speculative Phil Simms nonsense (Indianapolis Star)

COME ON I MEAN, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? JUST JUMP UP AND GRIND MY FEET INTO SOMEONE'S COUCH? LIKE IT'S, LIKE IT'S SOMETHING TO DO? COME ON, I HAVE A LITTLE MORE SENSE THAN THAT. YEAH, I REMEMBER GRINDING MY FEET INTO EDDIE'S COUCH.

"I’ve got nothing positive to say. The most positive thing: I got family at home and I got a fast-ass car being delivered on Tuesday. That’s it." -- Giants running back Brandon Jacobs, on his playing time (ESPN New York)

AND IN THE END, ISN'T THAT THE REAL TRUTH? THE ANSWER ... IS NO...

"So people who make comments who don’t know probably shouldn’t, quite frankly, because they don’t know and I’d be able to prove 100 percent they’re wrong. But I’m not going to spend the time doing that." -- Georgia head coach Mark Richt, on the incredible odds that his best running backs would be suspended against New Mexico State rather than against Florida (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

HOLDING A WALKER, NO DOUBT

"I got a few texts already saying in the HD it didn't look too bad. But for a 70-year-old man gimping down the field, I guess that's what he saw." -- Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith, decrying a questionable holding call on Carolina's final drive (Charlotte Observer)

SOURCES BELIEVE THAT THE UNCONFIRMED BRONCOS PLAYER WAS NONE OTHER THAN NYAN CAT

"Can you believe ’15’? Come on -– that’s embarrassing. I mean, it’s a joke. We knew all week that if we brought any kind of defensive pressure, he couldn’t do anything. In the second half it got boring out there. We were like, ‘Come on –- that’s your quarterback? Seriously?’" -- Anonymous Lions defender, on Tim Tebow's second start of the season (Yahoo!)

OH THE TEARS OF UNFATHOMABLE COLT MCCOY SADNESS ... MMM YUMMY

"Loved it, loved it. Wish he could have come and wiped some of (the blood) on my cheek." -- 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh, on an Ahmad Brooks sack where he led with his head despite having his helmet knocked off (San Francisco Chronicle)

WE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE SAVED THIS GAME FOR DEEPER INTO THE WINTER

"Ravens-Steelers gets everybody’s piss hot ... F*** it. Let’s do it." -- Ravens defender Terrell Suggs, on the rivalry between Baltimore and Pittsburgh (SportsGrid)

JUST LOOK AT THE WAY THEY TREAT JAY CUTLER AND YOU'LL SEE YOU AREN'T ALONE

"The running back position is the most physically demanding on the field. Everyone acknowledges that. So to continue to give me the touches I’ve had since my rookie year but not award me a long-term contract sends the message that you’re OK grinding me into a pulp." -- Bears running back Matt Forte, on being unable to come to terms on a contract extension with Chicago (Chicago Sun-Times)

I'M A HUNGRY YOUNG FIGHTER. IN FACT, I'M FIGHTING FOR A SANDWICH

"It's not the first time I've said something and gotten my butt kicked. I got out-coached, out-everything. It's all on me." -- Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, on the 34 points the Eagles laid on his team Sunday night (Dallas Morning News)

YOU DON'T GET POINTS FOR MARGIN OF VICTORY IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL, AFTER ALL

"I really can’t tell you the truth because I really don’t know the truth. But I did 475 easy, and they won’t let me go above 475." -- Alabama running back Trent Richardson, on how much he can bench press (Sports Radio Interviews)

BUT IT WAS THE APOLOGY SHE SENT ME ON PLENTY OF FISH THAT REALLY MADE ME FEEL BETTER

"I got an apology from him and his mom ... Facebook, Twitter. It was his mom that sent the letter (via Facebook). It was nice of her to take her time out and send the letter." -- Vanderbilt punt returner Jonathan Krause, on the apologies he was given from Arkansas freshman Marquel Wade for hitting him on a punt return despite the notable problem of Krause not possessing the football (The Tennesseean)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 04 Nov 2011

18 comments, Last at 04 Nov 2011, 11:50pm by Rivers McCown