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02 Sep 2011

The Week In Quotes: September 2, 2011

compiled by Rivers McCown

SOMETIMES WHEN LOVE LIFTS US UP TO WHERE WE BELONG, IT'S TO UNEMPLOYMENT AND OAKLAND, RESPECTIVELY

"Oh no. I think you always have to treat the young people under your care with love and I will never change that. That’s always going to be the way. To me, love conquers all." -- Former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel, on if he'd change how he dealt with Terrelle Pryor in retrospect (Sports Radio Interviews)

THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN GET AWAY WITH EQUATING BRETT FAVRE TO VIN SCULLY IS VIN SCULLY

"I hate to make a big deal out of it, I'm not trying to be a Brett Favre or whoever else." -- Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully, on announcing his return to the booth for a 63rd season (Chicago Tribune)

I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU BOTH GOOD LUCK. WE'RE ALL COUNTING ON YOU

"I will tell you this. I've not seen -- I've not physically seen Skip Bayless since that time. That was in '95. And I still kind of wonder what I might do to him when I do see him." -- Ex-Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman, on Skip Bayless' book that questioned Aikman's sexuality (Dallas Morning News)

ONE WAY TO CARE LESS: NOT FEELING COMPELLED TO ADDRESS RANDOM INTERNET COMMENTERS

"Can these fake Titan fans STFU on my timeline I don't have a regular job so don't compare me to you and I can care less if uthink I'm greedy" -- Titans running back Chris Johnson, before he received his extension on Thursday (Twitter)

ED BLOCK COURAGE AWARD WINNER TEDY BRUSCHI, EVERYBODY!

"You know what I'm going to like also, as a defensive player, if this is his hamstring? Noting that the sore spot, the white spot that he calls 'anti-awesomeness' right there, is in the middle of the hamstring. As I'm getting up off of a pile, maybe I push. Maybe that's where I push to get up, because I know that's exactly where it is, and I give it a little dig, I give it a little twist, and I get off of the pile. Maybe I do that." -- Ex-Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi, on Arian Foster's hamstring injury (Shutdown Corner (congrats Doug!))

THOSE SNOWBOARDS DO TAKE A POUNDING

"The right guard ... got beat ... like a stepchild." -- ESPN color commentator Chuck Cecil, on a Villanova offensive lineman (Sports Grid)

NEITHER DOES JIM IRSAY

"I don't know what HIPAA stands for, but I believe in it and I practice it." -- Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, on questions about his health status (ESPN AFC South Blog)

BOLD STRATEGY COTTON, LETS SEE IF IT PAYS OFF FOR THEM

"I would expect it would be Jarrett Lee. That would be my best guess." -- ESPN "analyst" Matt Millen, on who Miami will start in the place of Jacory Harris at quarterback (Sports Grid)

CLEARLY MEANT TO GIVE IT TO KEVIN KOLB, AS IT WOULD PROVIDE BETTER PROTECTION THAN LEVI BROWN

"Damn I almost brung my 'ROCKET' into work this morning like gilbert arenas. But mine was by accident it was in my book bag. Kept sayin to myself why is my book bag so heavy, looked in side it was Big pookey 'nickel plated Glock 40' trying to come to work w/me! Smh" -- Cardinals defensive lineman Darnell Dockett, lover of Arizona's relaxed gun laws (Twitter)

KEEP THIS UP INSTEAD OF PROPOSITIONING SUZY KOLBER AND WE'LL GIVE YOU A GUEST ESSAY IN FOA 2012

"I'll be surprised if Burress and (quarterback Mark) Sanchez click well and I'll be even more surprised if Burress, after being laid off for two years and change, is going to make it through the season." -- Former Jets quarterback Joe Namath, on the state of the Jets offense (ESPN New York)

A DEFENSE MORE HALF-HEARTED THAN REGGIE KELLY'S RETIREMENT

"I know people talk about him not being professional, what can I say? He may have not liked the scheme, but he came in and worked, he was placed in the pass-rush situations. ... As a man, he was upfront and honest about the scheme, that this was not what he signed up for. That's him being a man, being upfront and blunt." -- Patriots defensive end Andre Carter, on the Albert Haynesworth tenure in Washington (NFL.com)

I DUNNO, THINK OF THE EIGHT VIEWERS THE LONGHORN NETWORK WILL HAVE THIS WEEKEND

"I don’t know about any of that. You can have any perception, and rarely is perception correct. But at the end of the day, if they are it isn’t being run very well, right?" -- Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops, on the perception that Texas is running the Big 12 (Sports Radio Interviews)

THEY WANT THE BALL, AND THEY'RE GOING TO SCORE

"We're a young team, but we're guaranteeing the playoffs." -- Buccaneers wide receiver Mike Williams (Sun Herald)

AT LEAST SNYDER STILL HAS A NOSE TO CUT OFF

"The facts on the public record suggest that [Snyder] is as likely to prevail on the merits here as Voldemort is to prevail over Harry Potter in their final battle," -- ACLU court filing on Dan Snyder's libel lawsuit of Dave McKenna and the Washington City Paper (Washington Examiner)

TO BE FAIR, LEON KOMPOWSKY DOES RESIDE IN OWENS' HOMETOWN

"Happy Birthday Michael Jackson!!" -- Unemployed wide receiver Terrell Owens, on a deceased pop idol (Twitter)

THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT SPORTSMANSHIP WAS UPHELD

"He had no idea and nor would he have and I don’t think the officials can bring in that type of emotion to what they call on the field…His interpretation was that we called attention to ourselves after the touchdown was scored and during the celebration we did draw attention to ourselves and that is against the rules." -- Louisville (Ohio) High athletic director Rich Venuto, after a late post-TD celebration to honor a deceased ex-teammate was flagged for excessive celebration. Their opponents would then kick a game-winning field goal as time expired (Sports Grid)

WHICH IS WHY HE'S SO BIG ON TEAM SPEED, IT TAKES A LOT TO CATCH UP

"You're waiting for [owner Al Davis] to wake up and come to work at 2 o'clock in the afternoon to make decisions that the rest of the league is making at 6 o'clock in the morning." -- USC head coach Lane Kiffin, on his tenure with the Raiders (ESPN (Page 2))

AH, THE NAIVETY OF YOUTH

"Yes. Yes he can. The things that have occurred over the first seven years of Alex’s career have been good. There has been some tough times, but all those experiences I believe lead to success." -- 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh, on new quarterback Alex Smith (Sports Radio Interviews)

I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU BOTH GOOD LUCK. WE'RE ALL COUNTING ON YOU.

"Did you want to be a critic as a child? Or did your dreams die with your humility?" -- Texans running back Arian Foster, responding to Colin Cowherd (Twitter)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 02 Sep 2011

31 comments, Last at 05 Sep 2011, 8:44am by Athelas

Comments

1
by Dean :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 11:01am

I'm sure there's a reference in there that I'm not getting, but WTF does Chuck Cecils comment have to do with snowboarding?

2
by Malene, Copenhagen (not verified) :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 11:07am

There's a fairly well known brand of snowboards called stepchild. I'm guessing that's it. Because, surely, he couldn't be intimating that a human stepchild would get beaten, would he?

12
by Dean :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 2:26pm

I guess it's no so well known. Then again, if I'm planning the trip, I choose to ski at Mad River Glen, Alta and Deer Valley (and used to love Taos).

3
by patsfan627 (not verified) :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 11:15am

It's too bad this came out before you saw Albert Haynesworth's amazing quote about David Carr from last night: "Hell, I wanted to get the sack. David Carr always gives me sacks, his whole life."

4
by nat :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 11:25am

I know taking things out of context is the raison d'etre of The Week in Quotes, but the Bruschi thing is a bit much. He was explaining why it is a bad idea to tell opponents exactly where and how you are hurt: It gives them a chance to do normal, legal, everyday things (like get up off a pile) that also give them an advantage (like putting their weight on your sore hamstring).

Will anyone actually take advantage of this hamstring information? Who knows? But why give them the option when you don't need to? Bruschi gives a clear example of how seemingly innocuous injury information could give an opponent an extra advantage.

It's not about courage or lack thereof. It's about brains, or lack thereof. Telling opponents your weaknesses == not smart.

9
by MattR :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 1:56pm

I think the preferred headline for the Bruschi quote would be from Necessary Roughness: Referee: "Illegal shotokan kick to the skull..."

Well, done on the Dodgeball line.

The world needs more Robert Logia and Rip Torn. And that's a scientific fact.

13
by Marko :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 8:20pm

Don't you know it would take them about an hour to come up with a good headline? Instead, headlines are cranked out quickly, giving them time to do other critical work. If they took an hour for each headline, the Internets would crash and there would be an irreparable disruption in the space-time continuum.

24
by Rivers McCown :: Sat, 09/03/2011 - 3:44am

That's a fair criticism. I wrote it that way just because I found it amusing that someone who (in my mind) was so thoroughly praised for his spirit would react to the information with something that some may perceive as scummy.

27
by Never Surrender (not verified) :: Sat, 09/03/2011 - 10:05am

Getting off a pile is legal, but putting weight and twisting an injury in my opinion falls under unnecessary roughness or unsportsmanlike conduct.

It doesn't mean a ref would ever flag it, necessarily, but I don't think it's safe to say it's perfectly legal and fine according to the rules. We all perceive it as shady for a reason.

5
by TomKelso :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 12:02pm

Grammatical pet peeve --

If it's going to be "respectively", then it should be "unemployment and Oakland", as you mentioned Tressel first, then Pryor.

25
by Rivers McCown :: Sat, 09/03/2011 - 3:46am

I accept your grammar grievance. Really I should just change it to Indianapolis now, but I'm too lazy to go into the editing panel a second time.

28
by Insancipitory :: Sat, 09/03/2011 - 5:34pm

It's the imperfections that make the random hot model Cindy Crawford

6
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 12:09pm

"The facts on the public record suggest that [Snyder] is as likely to prevail on the merits here as Voldemort is to prevail over Harry Potter in their final battle"

Oh come on! Spoiler alert!

10
by tunesmith :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 2:03pm

Don't worry! The ACLU didn't have it quite right.

21
by Jerry :: Sat, 09/03/2011 - 12:26am

TMQ is proud.

31
by Athelas :: Mon, 09/05/2011 - 8:44am

I had no idea the ACLU had a sense of humor.

7
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 12:17pm

Hindsight being what it is, any 49er fans who wanted to see Alex Smith sent packing should probably have been rooting against the Harbaugh hire. Harbaugh is one of the few football people out there who might really think there's a chance Alex Smith might suddenly "get it" in his 8th season, because that's exactly the trajectory his own career took.

8
by zlionsfan :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 1:00pm

a) So this whole time, Tressel was trying to get Pryor to DOR?

b) +1 for any reference to Snyder as Voldemort.

c) There was a point where I used to agree with crackdowns on excessive celebration. In hindsight, that was a foolish stance. What did I think would happen eventually? Why, this.

18
by tuluse :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 10:24pm

c) There was a point where I used to agree with crackdowns on excessive celebration. In hindsight, that was a foolish stance. What did I think would happen eventually? Why, this.

Just start a play clock after a touchdown, if you don't get the PAT in time, 5 yards on the kick off.

What a player does with his time between plays is his business, we don't need rules regulating it. On the other hand, the game does eventually have to go on, and the playclock nicely handles that as it has for decades.

11
by tunesmith :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 2:03pm

I'm rapidly turning into an Arian Foster fan.

15
by chemical burn :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 8:50pm

no sports talking head is more deserving of such beautiful ownage than cowherd. it's wonderful.

19
by tuluse :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 10:24pm

+2

26
by Mr Shush :: Sat, 09/03/2011 - 8:49am

He's awesome. It's really rare to find a player so endlessly quotable with such an apparent lack of ego. Benched for being late for a meeting? Not a peep. Expected to play for the league minimum after putting up 2000 yards from scrimmage the year before? Zero public complaint. He'd be pretty likeable even if he was a diva. The fact that he isn't just makes him the man.

29
by akn :: Mon, 09/05/2011 - 4:52am

Slow down! I think you spilled a little Arian on your shirt there.

30
by Mr Shush :: Mon, 09/05/2011 - 6:42am

Foster may be a created being, but I confess that seeing him break a tackle in the backfield, juke another defender out of his shorts and convert a 3rd and long with room to spare does tend to make me heteroouze a little bit. No semi-Arians here.

14
by Will Allen :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 8:44pm

Wouldn't it be a great plot for a movie to have Troy Aikman and Arian Foster sit down next to each other on a L.A. to New York flight by chance, and before they reach LaGuardia, they have hatched a plan to bump off each other's least favorite insufferable sport babbler? Who wouldn't be rooting for them to get away with it?

16
by MountainTiger (not verified) :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 9:48pm

Is it too much to ask that Jim Rome gets offed as well?

22
by Will Allen :: Sat, 09/03/2011 - 12:51am

I can't stand Rome, but in the few times I listened until he became too boring, about 4 years ago, thus making me swear him off 100%, occasionally I'd get the sense that he knew he was doing shtick, and it wasn't to be taken seriously. Cowherd, in particular, adopts the stance of ESPN's philosopher, giving his audience a peek into his titanic intellect, or so he thinks. The reality, of course, is that he is about as insightful as the guy you sat next to in a 737 after he had five mini bottles. He is completely convinced he has it all figured out, based upon observations about as useful as tossing chicken bones in the dirt, while burning incense. There is nobody more stupid than the guy who just knows that he is a genius.

20
by tuluse :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 10:26pm

This is amazing.

23
by akn :: Sat, 09/03/2011 - 2:03am

If Hitchcock had used this idea, he would have certainly won an Oscar for it.

17
by BigDerf :: Fri, 09/02/2011 - 10:15pm

To this day I still say "We want the ball and we're gonna score" any time i win a coin flip in Madden. My success rate is much higher than Hasselbeck.