compiled by Rivers McCown

IT'S JUST A FLESH WOUND!

"It was one of those deals where it was nothing they were doing. I was just off today," -- Jaguars quarterback Luke McCown, on his performance against the Jets on Sunday (Shutdown Corner)

THOUGH I DO HAVE FOND MEMORIES OF THE LOCKOUT NOW

"The season will not be canceled, as far as I know," -- Chiefs coach Todd Haley, after watching Kansas City get dominated for the second week in a row (Pro Football Talk)

DO YOU HAVE A BOTTLE OF CHERNOBLY?

"If I can come back and help my hometown team, with my family being here, in any way that I could, what a great feeling that would be," -- Ex-Colts quarterback Jeff George, who made sure to stress he isn't being critical of Kerry Collins in the slightest (Chicago Tribune)

WITH HIS NAKED EYE HE SAW

"Luscious." -- Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, on the state of his injured ankle (Panthers Gab)

I'LL BE WHATEVER I WANNA DO

"But I can’t say I did and I can’t say I’ve never done that. I’m not going to go back and forth about what I have coached or what I haven’t coached." -- Giants defensive coordinator Perry Fewell, on whether or not he teaches his team to fake injuries (New York Daily News)

AND AS SOON AS ME AND MY P.R. TEAM FIGURE OUT A WAY TO FIX THEM, WE'LL SUE WHOEVER WE HAVE TO

"You know, there’s a lot of myths about the old Dan Snyder. And I think I’ll leave it at that, and they are myths." -- Redskins owner Dan Snyder, on whether or not he would've brought in a big-name veteran quarterback this offseason (The Washington Post)

YOU COULD SAY THAT HE'S SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROYING THEM OUT THERE

"WVU quarterback Genocide Smith off to a fast start. Connected on 9 of 11 so far. WVU up 14-3 with the ball" -- ESPN analyst Todd McShay, succumbing to the power of autocorrect on Geno Smith (Sports Grid)

I DERIDE YOUR TRUTH-HANDLING ABILITIES!

"I don’t often say exactly how I feel, And I don’t often say exactly what I think. Because you don’t want to cause controversy. When there is controversy, all your teammates start getting asked about ‘What Brady said.’ Really, it becomes a distraction to the team. You’re trying to get ready for an important game on the weekend, and then now, on Thursday and Friday, the only thing that people want to talk about is some comment the quarterback on your team made." -- Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, on the state of answering interview questions (Larry Brown Sports)

TURNS OUT HIS OPINION OF YOU IS "DNP"

"I don't even know who that dude is. What's his name again? I have no clue. I don't know who he is, whatever he said is what he said. Whatever his opinion is of us, we'll find out on Sunday," -- Jets defensive back Darrelle Revis, on receiver Jason Hill claiming he was overhyped (Twitter)

SHOULD HAVE TRADED MEMORABILIA FOR LASIK

"He looks good. I’m not interested in that." -- Oakland Raiders quarterback Terrelle Pryor, on how old Al Davis is (Sports Radio Interviews)

WELL, CERTAINLY PEOPLE THROW AT YOU MORE ANYWAY

"My style of play and his style of play are totally different. I feel I'm more of a playmaker than he is." -- Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie, on the man who almost replaced him, Nnamdi Asomugha (ESPN New York)

YOU WERE A MAN, THOUGH YOU WEREN'T YET 40

"I’m considerably different. I look back at myself and I don’t know why anybody would’ve even hired me as a head coach." -- Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy, on how he's grown as a coach (Sports Radio Interviews)

THE LOGICAL SUPER POWER FOR A DEFENSIVE LINEMAN WOULD PROBABLY BE INVISIBILITY, THOUGH

"Fined by the NFL today for being 'TRIPPED' by an o'lineman and fallin into the QB's legs! Smh if I only had super powers to stop mid air" -- Seahawks defensive end Raheem Brock, who was fined for an offensive lineman pushing him into Ben Roethlisberger's knee (Twitter)

I WAS AIMING FOR MARCIA'S NOSE, KID. REALLY SORRY

"What’s the saying? Act like you’ve been there before. I got caught up in the moment" -- Giants linebacker Michael Boley, after throwing a football at a video intern's face while celebrating a touchdown (The Bergen Record)

ALSO, IT WOULD KEEP ME OUT OF COVERAGE, WHICH WOULD PROBABLY BENEFIT WASHINGTON AS A WHOLE

"Absolutely. I want to get a chance to put my helmet on whatever’s hurt. Romo’s ribs -— I’m going to be asking for some corner blitzes. If I know Felix Jones’ shoulder’s hurt, I’m not going to cut him. I’m definitely going to try to hit him up high, so that’s just part of it." -- Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall on how he'll approach Monday Night Football against the Cowboys (Associated Press)

YOUR CHECKING ACCOUNT BALANCE MAY

"My opinion didn’t change." -- Falcons head coach Mike Smith, who previously noted that Dunta Robinson's hit on Jeremy Maclin was "the way we teach it" (New York Times)

JUST BECAUSE THE TIGERS HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL DOES NOT MEAN ALL COACHES NEED TO EMULATE JIM LEYLAND

"I am still chewing on last week. That's just the nature of this thing. It's not going to be just one performance to take that stench off of us." -- Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, after thoroughly trouncing the Seahawks (Sports Illustrated)

IT USED TO BE MILK, BUT TIME MAKES FOOLS OF US ALL!

"Yeah I’m humbled by that. I think there was in article in the paper recently that had me as old school and Cam Newton as new school. And I had to laugh at that because I thought ‘I’m 27 years old and now I’m old school.'" -- Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, on how he has become the player that younger players look up to (Sports Radio Interviews)

TAKE A SALT TABLET

"Walking it off, I guess." -- Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne, on Peyton Manning briskly walking around the practice facility (The Indianapolis Star)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 23 Sep 2011

29 comments, Last at 28 Sep 2011, 11:08am by tgt2