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23 Sep 2011

The Week In Quotes: September 23, 2011

compiled by Rivers McCown

IT'S JUST A FLESH WOUND!

"It was one of those deals where it was nothing they were doing. I was just off today," -- Jaguars quarterback Luke McCown, on his performance against the Jets on Sunday (Shutdown Corner)

THOUGH I DO HAVE FOND MEMORIES OF THE LOCKOUT NOW

"The season will not be canceled, as far as I know," -- Chiefs coach Todd Haley, after watching Kansas City get dominated for the second week in a row (Pro Football Talk)

DO YOU HAVE A BOTTLE OF CHERNOBLY?

"If I can come back and help my hometown team, with my family being here, in any way that I could, what a great feeling that would be," -- Ex-Colts quarterback Jeff George, who made sure to stress he isn't being critical of Kerry Collins in the slightest (Chicago Tribune)

WITH HIS NAKED EYE HE SAW

"Luscious." -- Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, on the state of his injured ankle (Panthers Gab)

I'LL BE WHATEVER I WANNA DO

"But I can’t say I did and I can’t say I’ve never done that. I’m not going to go back and forth about what I have coached or what I haven’t coached." -- Giants defensive coordinator Perry Fewell, on whether or not he teaches his team to fake injuries (New York Daily News)

AND AS SOON AS ME AND MY P.R. TEAM FIGURE OUT A WAY TO FIX THEM, WE'LL SUE WHOEVER WE HAVE TO

"You know, there’s a lot of myths about the old Dan Snyder. And I think I’ll leave it at that, and they are myths." -- Redskins owner Dan Snyder, on whether or not he would've brought in a big-name veteran quarterback this offseason (The Washington Post)

YOU COULD SAY THAT HE'S SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROYING THEM OUT THERE

"WVU quarterback Genocide Smith off to a fast start. Connected on 9 of 11 so far. WVU up 14-3 with the ball" -- ESPN analyst Todd McShay, succumbing to the power of autocorrect on Geno Smith (Sports Grid)

I DERIDE YOUR TRUTH-HANDLING ABILITIES!

"I don’t often say exactly how I feel, And I don’t often say exactly what I think. Because you don’t want to cause controversy. When there is controversy, all your teammates start getting asked about ‘What Brady said.’ Really, it becomes a distraction to the team. You’re trying to get ready for an important game on the weekend, and then now, on Thursday and Friday, the only thing that people want to talk about is some comment the quarterback on your team made." -- Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, on the state of answering interview questions (Larry Brown Sports)

TURNS OUT HIS OPINION OF YOU IS "DNP"

"I don't even know who that dude is. What's his name again? I have no clue. I don't know who he is, whatever he said is what he said. Whatever his opinion is of us, we'll find out on Sunday," -- Jets defensive back Darrelle Revis, on receiver Jason Hill claiming he was overhyped (Twitter)

SHOULD HAVE TRADED MEMORABILIA FOR LASIK

"He looks good. I’m not interested in that." -- Oakland Raiders quarterback Terrelle Pryor, on how old Al Davis is (Sports Radio Interviews)

WELL, CERTAINLY PEOPLE THROW AT YOU MORE ANYWAY

"My style of play and his style of play are totally different. I feel I'm more of a playmaker than he is." -- Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie, on the man who almost replaced him, Nnamdi Asomugha (ESPN New York)

YOU WERE A MAN, THOUGH YOU WEREN'T YET 40

"I’m considerably different. I look back at myself and I don’t know why anybody would’ve even hired me as a head coach." -- Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy, on how he's grown as a coach (Sports Radio Interviews)

THE LOGICAL SUPER POWER FOR A DEFENSIVE LINEMAN WOULD PROBABLY BE INVISIBILITY, THOUGH

"Fined by the NFL today for being 'TRIPPED' by an o'lineman and fallin into the QB's legs! Smh if I only had super powers to stop mid air" -- Seahawks defensive end Raheem Brock, who was fined for an offensive lineman pushing him into Ben Roethlisberger's knee (Twitter)

I WAS AIMING FOR MARCIA'S NOSE, KID. REALLY SORRY

"What’s the saying? Act like you’ve been there before. I got caught up in the moment" -- Giants linebacker Michael Boley, after throwing a football at a video intern's face while celebrating a touchdown (The Bergen Record)

ALSO, IT WOULD KEEP ME OUT OF COVERAGE, WHICH WOULD PROBABLY BENEFIT WASHINGTON AS A WHOLE

"Absolutely. I want to get a chance to put my helmet on whatever’s hurt. Romo’s ribs -— I’m going to be asking for some corner blitzes. If I know Felix Jones’ shoulder’s hurt, I’m not going to cut him. I’m definitely going to try to hit him up high, so that’s just part of it." -- Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall on how he'll approach Monday Night Football against the Cowboys (Associated Press)

YOUR CHECKING ACCOUNT BALANCE MAY

"My opinion didn’t change." -- Falcons head coach Mike Smith, who previously noted that Dunta Robinson's hit on Jeremy Maclin was "the way we teach it" (New York Times)

JUST BECAUSE THE TIGERS HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL DOES NOT MEAN ALL COACHES NEED TO EMULATE JIM LEYLAND

"I am still chewing on last week. That's just the nature of this thing. It's not going to be just one performance to take that stench off of us." -- Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, after thoroughly trouncing the Seahawks (Sports Illustrated)

IT USED TO BE MILK, BUT TIME MAKES FOOLS OF US ALL!

"Yeah I’m humbled by that. I think there was in article in the paper recently that had me as old school and Cam Newton as new school. And I had to laugh at that because I thought ‘I’m 27 years old and now I’m old school.'" -- Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, on how he has become the player that younger players look up to (Sports Radio Interviews)

TAKE A SALT TABLET

"Walking it off, I guess." -- Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne, on Peyton Manning briskly walking around the practice facility (The Indianapolis Star)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 23 Sep 2011

29 comments, Last at 28 Sep 2011, 11:08am by tgt2

Comments

1
by Drunkmonkey :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 11:18am

Hey Hey!!! More Futurama!!! And a Monty Python quote!!! Awesome job.

23
by Tofino :: Sun, 09/25/2011 - 2:21am

All topped by the Hot Tub Time Machine reference.

2
by Will Allen :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 11:35am

There really oughta' be a player named Genocide Smith.

4
by justanothersteve :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 11:55am

True. I know I wouldn't want to play against someone named that.

5
by MilkmanDanimal :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 12:26pm

I would be significantly more concerned about Genocide Smith's parents than I would Genocide himself.

7
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 12:48pm

It's hard to come up with good baby names when your last name is Smith. I know from experience. Old standbys like Joe and John and Mike are pretty much off the table, unless you want your child to constantly get other people's email and phone calls for the rest of their life. Genocide might be a touch too far in the other direction, but I sympathize with the predicament.

9
by Brummelmannen (not verified) :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 2:11pm

Predicament Smith would be a good name... Better than Alex for example.

10
by Intropy :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 2:20pm

For the alliterative, Sagacious Smith
For the last names as first names crown, Black Smith
For the albatross lovers, Consanguinity Smith

17
by Marko :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 6:27pm

You could always pronounce your last name as "Janofsky."

26
by Shattenjager :: Sun, 09/25/2011 - 7:59pm

To make one of the dorkiest literature references ever, I actually think Anathema is a nice-sounding name. It even goes rather well with Smith and is certainly distinctive.

While its meaning is an obvious drawback, consider that the kid will probably be able to get through high school without ever encountering more than a handful of people who know what it means.

I think it works better than Genocide, at least.

27
by The Hypno-Toad :: Mon, 09/26/2011 - 3:27am

You mentioning dorky references seems as good an opening as any... I've been wondering for a while if your screen name is intentionally a reference to the old "Gabriel Knight" Sierra PC games or if that's a coincidence (I suppose a third option is that you and the games were both referencing something else).

28
by Shattenjager :: Mon, 09/26/2011 - 8:33am

Sort of. I only ever played one of the games and didn't play it that much, but it had this awesome word, which it said meant "Shadow Hunter" in German (It's actually a made up word. Shadow hunter in German is apparently "schatten jäger."), which seemed pretty cool to me at the time.

Now why I've continued to use it forever, especially considering that I wasn't really a fan of the games, I don't know.

11
by Will Allen :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 2:47pm

His somewhat less ambitious brother could be named Homicide. His extremely careless brother could go by Manslaughter. The brother who can't resist peer pressure could be called Accomplice.

15
by Thunderbolt of ... :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 3:41pm

He could team up with X'Zavier Bloodsaw.

3
by Karl with a K (not verified) :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 11:39am

I saw the video of the Brock hit on Roethlisberger. Seriously, NFL?

6
by Led :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 12:47pm

It's a calculated gesture to create the appearance of objectivity so the NFL can continue its campaign of persecution against Pittsburgh defenders. Brock is just collateral damage.

8
by Sergio :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 1:18pm

Calmly disregard the lack of concern for (defensive) player safety while we attempt to install a culture for (offensive) player safety.

Thank you.

-- Go Phins!

19
by The Hypno-Toad :: Sat, 09/24/2011 - 2:03am

The NFL has always been at war with defensive players.
The NFL has always been at war with offensive players.
It is your patriotic duty to believe whichever is said at the time.

12
by zlionsfan :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 2:49pm

The one thing I can say in defense of Terrelle Pryor's comment is that I have no difficulty at all imagining the Raiders cutting a player for making fun of Al Davis.

13
by Will Allen :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 3:35pm

Jamarcus made fun of Al on a daily basis for three years before he was cut.

16
by Thunderbolt of ... :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 3:42pm

To be fair, it probably took that long for Al to realize that JMR was making fun of him.

25
by TB (not verified) :: Sun, 09/25/2011 - 9:00am

At this point, my mental picture of Al Davis is Prof. Farnsworth.

14
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 3:40pm

Not just the Raiders. In most walks of life, it's generally a good idea not to make fun of the guy who signs your paycheck. Especially when you've only been employed for about 3 weeks and you've contributed absolutely nothing to the company so far.

18
by commissionerleaf :: Fri, 09/23/2011 - 6:31pm

Poor Reggie Wayne. Peyton's going to need to walk a lot...

The fines for "hitting" QB's low are pretty silly. You can't hit them high either. Pass rushers now not only have to push past blockers and decelerate the instant the QB starts throwing, but do all that AND THROW STRIKES.

They should really stop fining pass rushers and start fining DeAngelo Hall and Mike Smith, for being idiots. Those two need to take a page from the Tom Brady "I speak in sentences that negate themselves." playbook.

20
by The Hypno-Toad :: Sat, 09/24/2011 - 2:04am

Does Cam Newton also have Lady Fingers to go with his Naked Eye?

21
by TomC :: Sat, 09/24/2011 - 1:34pm

I never quite understood the idea of generating a band name by slightly modifying a basketball player's name (Luscious Jackson, Gnarls Barkley), but if the trend continues, my vote for next up is "Freaky Vandeweghe."

22
by Stats are for losers (not verified) :: Sun, 09/25/2011 - 12:29am

Because if you don't modify the guy's name, you end up having to change it to something nonsensical like "Pearl Jam"

24
by Theo :: Sun, 09/25/2011 - 8:25am

Wouldn't that be Chernobyl?

29
by tgt2 (not verified) :: Wed, 09/28/2011 - 11:08am

No.

As a side note, I can't find Chernobly anywhere. I had to settle for Joose the last time I was in a hot tub on a ski trip. It didn't work.