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05 Jun 2012

The Month In Quotes: May 2012

compiled by Rivers McCown

JOB SECURITY FIT FOR A KING

"Until they ship him out of here or shoot me dead in my office, the guy's the starting right tackle." -- Jets offensive line coach Dave DeGuglielmo, on maligned offensive tackle Wayne Hunter (Twitter)

YEAH YEAH YEAH, CURSED, GOT IT, WHATEVER

"You ever been to College Station? It'll be the only time you go." -- Florida head coach Will Muschamp, on visiting Texas A&M (The Gainesville Sun)

IF THEY ALL ONLY HAD TO GET DOWN TO 350, THEY'D PROBABLY CANCEL THE SHOW

"I feel like I’m on Celebrity Fit Club." -- Ravens tackle Bryant McKinnie, on showing up to the voluntary strength and conditioning program. (Ravens.com)

(THAT MEANS THEY'RE GONNA LOSE)

"The reasonable expectation for us in Year 1 is for us to compete passionately for this university for 60 minutes. And whatever that scoreboard says at the end of that 60 minutes we’ll have to live with." -- Ole Miss head coach Hugh Freeze, on expectations for his first year (ESPN)

DON'T TRY TO KNOCK THE S*** OUT OF HIM -- IT'S TOO LATE

"This is 100 percent true. And Larry would be so mad at me if I said that this did not happen, because he takes ultimate pride in this whole deal." -- Patriots wideout Wes Welker, on Larry Izzo soiling himself during a game. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

AND PAYING THEM MONEY, RIGHT? ...HELLO?

"I really think what's happened, that is fantastic, is taking smart people plus computers plus too much free time. There are a lot of people doing outstanding work on the Internet." -- Texas defensive coordinator Manny Diaz, on statistical analysis (Scout.com)

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE "I'M NOT LEBRON" POLITICAL ADS

"I’m kind of old-school when it comes to that thought. I’m not LeBron trying to leave the team. I’m more like the era of Magic and Lawrence Taylor, who stayed with that same team for their entire careers win, lose or draw. They were married to the city they were drafted in. You go through the tough times and great times with them, and that’s it. That’s what I’m looking forward to." -- Colts defensive end Dwight Freeney, on loyalty (FOX Sports)

FIGHTING THE FEAR IS EASY: JUST THROW YOUR POISON DART FROGS SO HE LOSES STAMINA

"I think some left because they maybe allowed the fear ... the fear made the wolf a little bigger than it was. I think some left just because professionally they thought it would be a good growth situation." -- Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley, on the turnover on Tennessee's coaching staff (Chattanooga Times Free Press)

WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON'T HURT ME

"I was punch drunk. It was a facade, what I was living. I still wanted to give people the impression that I was big-time. I'd see the guys who were still in the league in the night clubs, and I had to look the look. I was in character." -- Former Steelers and Jaguars lineman Leon Searcy, on his financial ruin (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

AT LEAST IT'S AN ETHOS

"(Hoke) has more of the kind of Midwestern ethos." -- Michigan president Mary Sue Coleman, on the success of Brady Hoke as compared to Rich Rodriguez (MLive)

HEY ... THOSE ARE HOT DOGS. ARMOUR HOT DOGS!

"The repetitive amount of hits we take, day in and day out — this, to me, is a PR stunt ... If you get hit in the legs, you're doing something wrong. You're either getting cut or standing there. Usually, when guys are aggressive and they're hitting back, the legs aren't usually getting hit." -- Chargers linebacker Jarrett Johnson, on the NFL passing new rules requiring pads to be worn (San Diego Union-Trbiune)

YEAH, WHO WANTS TO REWARD THAT "EVERY WEEKEND IS A PLAYOFF" IDEA BY MAKING SURE IT STILL EXISTS ANYWAY

"I think you're going to get a lot of real complaining if we have a four-team playoff and we go through all this that we're going through to try to implement this and execute it and, all of a sudden, next year we have the No. 1 team, the No. 3 team, the No. 7 team and the No. 11 team being the four teams in the playoffs. There's going to be a mutiny on the ship, there's no question about that." -- Alabama head coach Nick Saban, on the idea of having to win your conference to reach a playoff (Dr. Saturday)

...NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT

"We ate a burrito together. Not the same burrito." -- Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III, on his relationship with fourth-round quarterback Kirk Cousins (NFL.com)

AMERICA IS GOOD, BECAUSE AMERICANS ARE GREAT

"I think my opinion is consistent with most of the rest of America's. This is illustrated by a poll done in the Dallas Morning News where people were asked who they would vote for senator: Mike Leach or Craig James. I got 96.5 percent of the vote." -- Washington State head coach Mike Leach, on how much he hates Craig James (Reddit)

JOKES ON ME, YOU'RE RIGHT; YOU SHOULD USE A MITRE-JOINT THERE

"It’s a feel. My center in college was about my height and he’s real low in his stance. So it made me have to kinda duck down a little bit. It’s hard to get out of center. Scott Wells — my previous center — (and) Jeff Saturday: great height. Great butt height." -- Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, on the importance of butt height (Sports Radio Interviews)

SOMEBODY SHUT THE WINDOW -- THERE'S A BAD DRAFT

"You try not to think about the window. But obviously, we're realists. We understand where it's at. I feel great and we're playing great. But it's about now. I think that's how this whole organization thinks, from owner to head coach to veteran players to rookie players. That's the way this league works." -- Cowboys tight end Jason Witten, on how much longer the Cowboys have (Dallas Morning-News)

"It's not closing. I think there's a sense of urgency every year that you play, whether it's your first year in the league or your 22nd. You never know when all that stuff is going to happen, so you just play every year as if it's an urgent day. Forget about thinking about the end of the year or two months away. You've got to get better today. Whether you're a rookie or an 11-year veteran around here, you've got to do that same approach." -- Tony Romo, on the window (ESPN Dallas)

"There is an urgency. It's my perception that decides when the windows are and where they are. With that in mind, I'm saying that we need to get out here, get down to business, get in some playoffs and get knocking on the door." -- Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, on owning all of the windows (Sports Grid)

MY MOM NEVER WHINED ABOUT HER CONTRACT THREE OFFSEASONS IN A ROW. JUST SAYIN'

"Happy Mothers Day LeSean McCoy! Enjoy your special day!!" -- Giants linebacker Osi Umenyiora, unprompted (Deadspin)

YOU'LL NEED ALL OF THAT HERO MENTALITY YOU CAN GET TO KEEP GUY WHIMPER OUT OF THE STARTING LINEUP THIS YEAR

"I'm still trying to work out how to do it, but I want to do a multi-part show with the epic poem 'Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.' It's like 80 pages, so I could do four consecutive shows with the story. It will have music, too, and be oriented around bravery and heroism." -- Jaguars tackle Eben Britton, on his NPR radio show (ESPN Sounds Blog)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 05 Jun 2012

33 comments, Last at 24 Jun 2012, 3:22am by Harris7

Comments

1
by justanothersteve :: Tue, 06/05/2012 - 10:18pm

You missed the best part of the Aaron Rodgers quote. After the comment about butt height was this: "And the second is most important, and that's sweating. How much do they sweat? The worst thing that you can have is third, fourth quarter on a October day where it's 65, 70 degrees and he's sweating through his pants. Because that is not a situation you wanna be in."

2
by Will Allen :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 3:49am

Somebody oughta' tell Craig James that when you look like a giant A-hole, compared to a famous college football coach, some heartfelt reflection on your life may be in order.

6
by Mr Shush :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 11:57am

If it's amenable to being communicated without violating Rule 1, why is James so unpopular? Genuinely curious - I'm aware of his existence only as the father of the kid who Leach allegedly locked in the cupboard.

8
by Joseph :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:31pm

As far as being unpopular, IDK.
He played RB for the Pats (iirc) for a few years, and has been an analyst on ESPN for a while--I can't remember if for college, pro, or both. From what I understand, his "analysis" hasn't been very good, although he acts like it is.

9
by tuluse :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:35pm

He's been (or will soon be) let go by ESPN.

He tried to run for senator and got 4% of the vote in the primary, and had a hilariously bad TV ad.

I'm guessing a lot of people hate him for getting Leach fired. Since when hasn't a couple of hours locked in a closet done people good?

10
by Will Allen :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:01pm

Without defending Leach for anything he did or did not do with regards to an injured Adam James (it is still being litigated, I believe) Craig James did a magnificent job of instilling in his son a sense of entitlement, by being the stereotypical helicopter parent of a young athlete. When a famous star high school and college football player can't get 4% of the vote in a Texas Republican primary, the odds are just overwhelming that he is a huge gaping orifice.

13
by Karl Cuba :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:20pm

He might have been locking him in a cupboard in an attempt to turn him into a wizard. JK Rowling has a lot to answer for in child protection cases.

24
by SandyRiver :: Thu, 06/07/2012 - 10:54am

Correct, mid-80s, and was their #1 RB during their SB run. Only got 1 yd in 5 tries against the Bears, similar to the overall Pats' success rate in that game.

3
by Will Allen :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 3:53am

I'm also glad that Nick Saban has informed me that if he gets his way, there will be some years when there is no more reason to watch the SEC championship game in football than there is to watch most conference championship games in basketball.

23
by dryheat :: Thu, 06/07/2012 - 10:31am

Well, sure, if you don't like to watch good football games. It's easy to see where Saban is coming from -- Alabama wouldn't have been eligible for the Championship this year, despite being the best team in the country (at least arguably). And if a talented LSU, Florida, Alabama, or Auburn team can't play in the tourney and an 8-win Georgia Tech team does, his complaint would be extremely relevant.

Or course, the easy answer is "If you're the best team in your conference, you'll make the tourney", which may or may not be true, but that's the nature of a 1-game championship series anyway. For simpicity's sake, I too would like a tourney of conference champions if we're going to limit the tourney to four teams. Then again, I see nothing wrong with the status quo. The only problem I have, and it's only a small one, is when the loser of a conf. championship game gets to play for the national championship.

25
by Will Allen :: Thu, 06/07/2012 - 1:42pm

I really, really, dislike that last aspect, because I think the best tradition of college football, dating back to its inception, is the primacy of a conference championship. I also think a playoff restricted to conference champs would, with a decade, have the effect of promoting parity in recruiting across all regions, because a coach would be able to truthfully tell a recruit that winning the conference yielded an excellent chance at the national title. I think that would improve the regular season quite a bit.

29
by Led :: Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:02am

I agree with this. I liked the old bowl system, in which the focus was conference champions and traditional bowl rivalries. That allowed different teams in different regions to have "successful" seasons (which is cool because they're college kids), and relegated the "national championship" to an unofficial tradition. I don't think a playoff is really a workable idea in Div I, but the current BCS system sort of combines the worst aspects of the old bowl system and a playoff.

4
by Dean :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 9:10am

Always great to see a Lebowski reference. You'd think with the amount of them dropped in the comments over the years, there'd be more of them.

5
by Led :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 9:41am

Did Izzo soil himself or surreptitiously take a dump on the sidelines (in a box or something)? I thought the latter.

20
by Marko :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 8:17pm

You are corrrect. Of the two choices, it was number two.

7
by RickD :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:21pm

Dwight Freeney got to play on the Colts during the Peyton Manning era. Really not interested in what he has to say about LeBron James wanting to play on a team with a better supporting cast.
The quote would be more meaningful if it came from somebody like Steve Smith or Larry Fitzgerald.

11
by chemical burn :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:12pm

I'd love to hear an hour-long sit-down interview with Steve Smith because he seems both bright and borderline insane. With a level-headed pro like Fitzgerald, I can't imagine that he'd say anything beyond "I love playing for the Cardinals, I want to end my career here, but if fate takes me elsewhere, those are the facts of life in the NFL." Whereas I thought about it for a moment and have no idea what his answer would be. He's one of the NFL's true wildcards...

12
by tuluse :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:14pm

His rules and regulations rant(?) is one of the best things I've ever read.

17
by Theo :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 5:30pm

link?

18
by tuluse :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 5:58pm

I can do one better, video of the interview. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbaTSji2dAc

15
by Independent George :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:38pm

There's also a nonzero chance that Smith would totally flip out and punch the interviewer in the face, too.

I love Steve Smith, but he might actually be crazier than T.O.

16
by Dean :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 4:00pm

No way. The difference is that Smith seems to have moments where he's a negative influence. With Owens, you get the impression that he's that way 24-7.

21
by Independent George :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 11:27pm

It's not about positive or negative; it's about nuts. Steve Smith seems to be really popular in the clubhouse, and not at all a divider like T.O. But he's still kind of nuts, just in a good way.

22
by Will Allen :: Thu, 06/07/2012 - 8:56am

Yeah, Smith seems to get along with others ok, unless one of the others decides to bludgeon Smith's fists with his face.

26
by commissionerleaf :: Thu, 06/07/2012 - 2:12pm

My favorite Smith moment was his butting in on the #2 receiver's press conference to tell him to shut up and go watch some film. I forgot the name of the receiver; USC grad if I recall.

27
by tuluse :: Thu, 06/07/2012 - 2:20pm

Probably Dwayne Jarret.

31
by commissionerleaf :: Fri, 06/08/2012 - 5:26pm

Yep, that's the one.

30
by chemical burn :: Fri, 06/08/2012 - 1:20pm

Smith is really the only NFL player who, if they walked into a restaurant I was eating at, I would instantly think "Well, time to get the hell out of here." I say that even above the guys who have actually tweeted about smashing up restaurants as they're doing it or murderers like Ray Lewis... or obstructers of justice, I should say.

14
by FrontRunningPhinsFan :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:59pm

Maybe I'm creating my own context for his quote, but it seems like Freeney is saying he'd rather stay with the Colts even if they're bad for the rest of his career than go somewhere else just because everyone thinks they're going to be bad.

That would be like Wade and Bosh leaving the Heat, leaving Lebron the only good player left on the team. Then if Lebron said "I want to stay in Miami because I love the city and the team as an entity and feel an obligation to both."

More likely, Lebron would say "Trade me or I'm sitting out. Who is the best player in the league right now besides me? Ok well I want to be on his team because I can't do it all on my own."

*It's probably obvious but should still be stated that I absolutely can't stand Lebron.

Fire Jeff Ireland.

19
by Thok :: Wed, 06/06/2012 - 7:28pm

Wait, there's no quotes from the Alex Smith-Jon Beason feud?

28
by nath :: Thu, 06/07/2012 - 8:26pm

"Larry Izzo soiling himself during a game"

I don't think he soiled himself; he just pooped on the sideline in the middle of a game. Maybe just found a place to squat in hiding and pooped in a towel or something.

32
by Sid :: Thu, 06/21/2012 - 10:13am

I guess Johnson is referring to defensive players only.

Also, tribune is misspelled. :)

33
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