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» SDA: Bowl Spectacular Part II

The bowl games heat up with ranked teams facing one another, including matchups between Louisville-Georgia, Nebraska-USC, and Clemson-Oklahoma.

28 Dec 2012

The Week In Quotes: December 28, 2012

compiled by Rivers McCown

THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOUR OFFENSIVE LINE APPEARS TO BE MADE OUT OF STRAW

"Heart issues, they’re kind of serious. Mine is OK. I’m fine. I went to go see Oz. He gave me a new one." -- Texans running back Arian Foster, on leaving last Sunday's game with a heart murmur (Twitter)

WE WANT THE BALL AND WE'RE GOING TO SCORE

"I'm going to win the Heisman. I'm going to win it in 2013. If I don't, I'm going to get very close" -- Baylor running back Lache Seastrunk, predicting another Heisman for the Bears (Sporting News)

THE COOKIES AND MILK ARE IRRELEVANT; WHY DO YOU THINK NOBODY GETS ADDERALL IN THEIR STOCKING?

"We're leaving a big fat rail of coke and a shot of Jack for Santa this year… cookies and milk will just slow him down." -- Patriots linebacker Brandon Spikes, on Christmas (Sports Grid)

THEY DON'T REALLY MAKE "SORRY YOUR CITY IS SH*TTY" HALLMARK CARDS, SO THIS WILL HAVE TO DO

"Out here in El Paso. Sh*tty city but glad I can enjoy this moment wit the USC family" -- USC defensive tackle Leonard Williams, on how happy he was to be out at the Sun Bowl (Deadspin)

"Sorry about what I said last night. It came out wrong. I'm so grateful to be a part of this bowl and looking forward to a great game." -- Williams after taking heat for his initial tweet (Twitter)

OH IT DEFINITELY WORKED. YOUR PLAN WAS TO TRY TO CREATE THE GREATEST ANTI-HERO IN THE NFL, RIGHT?

"It's combination of things but I wouldn't use the words 'didn't work' at all," -- Jets offensive coordinator Tony Sparano, on Tim Tebow's packages (ESPN New York)

"We started 1-4; we had a quarterback who had limited throwing ability, unconventional offense, whatever it may be. That surprised a lot of people. ... But now you’ve got a great quarterback that’s done a lot of things in this league. It just feels good." -- Broncos cornerback Champ Bailey, on the Broncos ride to the top of the AFC (Sports Radio Interviews)

WE WEAR OUR SUN BELT PROUDLY

"Last year, we were juniors. We started off 0-4. You started off 0-4, fellas. Then you won seven of eight games. Only loss was to LSU – at the time was No. 1 team in the country. So you won seven out of eight games to get bowl eligible, then you got your hearts cut out your damn chests by every bowl committee – every damn one. But tonight, guess what seniors? You stand on top of that hill, and we stand with you on top of that hill, like a team of damn gladiators. That’s what we are. We’re a team of damn gladiators. Do you understand me? Coach Taggart said he wanted to build a bully at WKU. We are that bully tonight, and we’re standing on top of our damn hill. We are that badass dude! As I said once before, let’s go get our damn trophy!" -- Interim Western Kentucky coach Lance Guidry, in his pre-game speech (Bowling Green Daily News)

YOU KNOW, I'M SURE THE AARON RODGERS MANCAVE WILL BE SERVING PIZZA HUT ... MAYBE YOU ALREADY MADE THE LEAP IN DECLARING IT NOT EDIBLE

"Celebrate? No I will just go home. To Green Bay. There’s nothing to do. I just hope someone cooked so I can eat." -- Packers cornerback Sam Shields, on getting back home (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

THE FRAGILE ILLUSION OF INNOCENCE IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL SHATTERED, MK. 89923429

"I took golf, fishing, and softball as classes. Away from class, anything you can think of I did in my 13 months at Ohio State. I was living the NFL life in college. I got paid more in college than I do now in the UFL." -- Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett, on his college life (Deadspin)

WILL LEITCH'S USAGE OF THE ROYAL "WE" CAN FURTHER CONDENSE US INTO ONE PERSON

"Two of the people I don't care about: fans or media. They can say what they want to about our head coach, about our players. ... It does bother me. They don't know what they're talking about, obviously." -- Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher, on criticism of the Bears coaching staff (Chicago Tribune)

TOO BAD, IT WOULD HAVE OUTSOLD THE PAN-GALACTIC THREE-DAY PASS

"I'm not going to write a book, and there's not going to be a chapter, 'The Low Point.' The season didn't go how I had hoped it would, but everybody ... college is an up-and-down time for a lot of people. That's not to say last year was awful in every way, I mean I had some really good times, too. It's just nice to be progressing each year." -- Michigan punter Will Hagerup, on being suspended for his team's bowl game (The Detroit News)

IF ALL IT TAKES TO IMPROVE AT YOUR JOB IS MARRYING AN ESPN SIDELINE REPORTER, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO START USING THESE INSIDER CONNECTIONS

"Twitter is so tricky. Who knew that "she's pregnant" & "they'll be divorced soon" are just the 2012 version of "congrats"! Thx guys! :)" -- ESPN sideline reporter Samantha Steele, on tying the knot with Christian Ponder (Twitter)

AND IN EVERY FOUR OF THOSE, I FIND A NEW HOME

"I wasn't gonna say goodbye to 'em because I was going to be there the next two days ... again, this was the very beginning of the recruiting process. I've handled this the same way for twenty years." -- Cincinnati head coach Tommy Tuberville, on ditching recruits at dinner in Lubbock, then leaving for Cincinnati the next day (Awful Announcing)

I'M NOT GONNA LIVE IN A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY WITH ALL THE CONFORMISTS

"[T]hey don't have amicable splits with people. You saw how dirty they did Washburn with leaking out the false stories and the way they talked about him on the way out. It's kind of a big socialistic system that they have. I didn't really care." -- Jaguars defensive end Jason Babin, on the problems in Philadelphia (Deadspin)

AT LEAST UNTIL THE MONEY GETS BETTER

"I plan to remain the head football coach at Utah State University. The interest I have received is a compliment to the quality young men in this program. Their hard work and dedication has built a culture that will enable us to continue to be successful at a very high level moving forward." -- Wisconsin head coach Gary Andersen, November 30, 2012 (College Football Talk)

"You sit back and take a deep breath and know who you want to be around. I love the kids I get to coach here. ... I look them in the eye and I need to be where I’m at." -- Andersen, prior to his team's bowl game (Herald-Journal)

I HAVE AN IDEA FOR WHERE THIS CONVERSATION CAN START...

"He’s not going to have a two-year career. He’s got to look at it as he’s going to be around for 15 years, God willing. I think he looks at things more long term. You mentioned the guy drafted ahead of him, Newton. Well, Newton hasn’t won anything. How many wins do they have? And how many did they have last year, six? I mean he had the stats, but they haven’t won anything. Dalton’s the only guy in his class that had a nice first year." -- Titans head coach Mike Munchak, on Jake Locker's struggles (ESPN AFC South)

"I want to sit down with Mike and our guys and discuss the whole thing with them and see why we are not doing better. It is not against the law to check with my people. Mike will tell me what he thinks is wrong. … I want to find out how he feels why we can’t win more games. The way we played today — my god, I wouldn’t even want to come and watch that." -- Titans owner Bud Adams, on Tennessee's 55-7 loss to Green Bay (The Tennesseean)

SOURCE REMAINS ANONYMOUS AS NOBODY ACTUALLY PLANS TO WATCH BIG EAST FOOTBALL OR FIGURE OUT WHO IS INVOLVED WITH IT

"There is no truth to the rumor. The Big East plans to play football with 12 members in 2013." -- Anonymous source, on if the Big East will continue on without its Catholic schools (Dr. Saturday)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 28 Dec 2012

4 comments, Last at 28 Dec 2012, 11:52pm by Rivers McCown

Comments

1
by bernie (not verified) :: Fri, 12/28/2012 - 3:50pm

I am assuming you mean to say Mike Munchak was talking about Locker. On the other hand, if Bud Adams drives down and fires Mike Mularkey, now there's a power move if I've ever seen one.

2
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Fri, 12/28/2012 - 4:12pm

If that move were possible, I'm sure Woody Johnson, Ralph Wilson, and Stephen Ross would be planning a road trip to go fire Bill Belichick.

3
by Gus (not verified) :: Fri, 12/28/2012 - 7:51pm

Thanks for the laugh, both of yas.

4
by Rivers McCown :: Fri, 12/28/2012 - 11:52pm

Damn, mixed up the bad AFC South quarterback/coach combos. Fixed. I'm worse than Tanier.