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» Scramble Over/Unders: the Norths

The league's northern divisions pose a number of meaty questions, such as: "Is the Bears' offense due for a repeat performance?" "Why do the Lions have such pronounced splits?" and "Has Johnny Manziel made the Cleveland brass even crazier?"

20 Jan 2012

The Week In Quotes: January 20, 2012

compiled by Rivers McCown

THEN THEY ASKED HIM WHERE THE COFFEE WAS

"I was like, ‘Is Tom OK?’ You know, he’s intense, but this was like a whole new thing, man. They were like, ‘It’s that time of the year, you just have to understand,’ " -- Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, on Tom Brady (Yahoo!)

THE MAN WHO MAKES PEOPLE BETTER, HOW SANCTIMONIOUS IS THAT?

"I don’t think you heard what I said before. We think about the effect of this on the student athlete. It affects the student athletes in many ways. One is whole other series of football games. Another is conflicts with final exams. There’s no conflict with basketball and final exams, but there would be with a big December tournament." -- BCS executive director Bill Hancock, on playoff problems (Sports Radio Interviews)

ALSO AHEAD: EASY DECISIONS LIKE NOT INVITING FUNGIBLE OLD RUNNING BACKS BACK FOR NEXT SEASON

"I’ve been around some locker rooms and quarterback-receiver situations and what-not. But it was as bad as I’ve been around. You know it was at the point where I think the players could no longer do anything about it. There was nothing that the players could do. So when it gets to that point there are certain changes that need to happen. Can it be fixed, Cris? I think absolutely it can be. But they’re going to have to make some tough decisions" -- Jets running back LaDainian Tomlinson, on the Jets locker room (CBS Sports)

I DON'T CLAIM TO KNOW WHERE MY HOLINESS GOES

"I would have listened more closely, more in detail to the higher-ups. I feel like I could get away with a lot of stuff I obviously couldn't get away with… I wish I just would have listened closer." -- Ex-Gamecocks quarterback Stephen Garcia, on what he would have done differently at South Carolina (Bright House Sports Network)

"Because it's stupid. Smoking is stupid." -- South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier, on his preference to hire non-smokers (Twitter)

MOVING THE CANDLESTICKS

"I think we’re a dangerous team. I like where we are." -- Giants head coach Tom Coughlin, on how his team is playing (First Coast News)

"That’s a formidable opponent. That’s a worthy opponent. That’s a scary opponent." -- 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh, on the Giants (The Crimson White)

I'VE SEEN ATTENTION -- SEE THROUGH ME

"When you leave a place, people will always say things like that. I can't do anything about that. People said the same thing about Nick Saban. All you can do is just prove yourself every day. The world we live in with the exposure and Twitter and everything, it compounds those things, but all I can do is genuinely be who I am. Am I good at communicating? Well, if I wasn't, I probably wouldn't have the job that I have." -- Arizona State head coach Todd Graham, on people accusing him of job-hopping (FOX Sports Arizona)

BERNARD POLLARD SMASH GENDER BINARY, ALSO Bernard Pollard THINK JUDITH BUTLER IS THE BEST

"That's the pretty boy. That's the man of the NFL. That's Mr. Do-It-All. So everybody is going to hold that against me but I don't care. I don't play for men. I don't play for no woman. I play because I'm given the gift to play this game." -- Ravens safety Bernard Pollard, on his hit that ended Tom Brady's season years ago (Baltimore Sun)

I'LL BE WHATEVER I WANNA DO!

"I saw what Cam Newton did this year. He took his raw talent and made a spark. I can do those things, too." -- Oregon quarterback Darron Thomas, on his widely-panned decision to leave early (Register-Guard)

I THINK I KNOW A PLACE YOU CAN SKATE THAT IS VIRTUALLY DESERTED!

"I’d never been on a skateboard in my life, so I was literally riding it about 10 feet down my driveway just to see if I could stand on it and stay upright. One of my neighbors must have called in looking for (Ravens general manager) Ozzie Newsome and left a voicemail on his secretary’s phone saying, ‘Hey, man, you got to let Joe Flacco know we’re trying to win the Super Bowl around here! He’s at home riding a skateboard. Somebody’s got to let him know what the deal is.’" -- Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco, discussing his initial skateboarding experience on NFL Total Access (SportsGrid)

A PAPER IS NOT A CONTRACT, BUT IT'S VERY NICE

"Coach Saban said he wished he would’ve been able to tell me this in August instead of now. He said the only reason he can’t sign me is because he can’t sign 26 people. They can only sign 25 people. He said he was going to sign me with the next class. But he also said he would sign a piece of paper to show that they are keeping their word – they are going to sign it and they want me to sign it to make sure I know I still have my scholarship." -- High school recruit Justin Taylor, revealing Nick Saban's ways of getting around the scholarship limits. He later changed his mind about attending Alabama (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

WHEN YOUR WIFE IS ACTUALLY AT HOME RATHER THAN THE HOSPITAL, IT'S HARD TO FIND THE MOTIVATION

"No. No. I'm not trying to come back. It was an excuse for me to get up off the couch and do something, and it worked, because now I'm engaged in a few different things and I feel really strong about where I am personally, and that's all that matters in life." -- Ex-Giants running back Tiki Barber, on the comeback that never was (ESPN New York)

THIS SEEMS RADICALLY DIFFERENT FROM THE STATUS QUO

"This whole notion of a playoff is ridiculous because I don't care what you come up with, it's not going to be a fair playoff. You've got a bunch of teams that don't play one another and play different competition and in different time zones in different conferences in different stadiums in front of different crowds and different weather and suddenly at some point in the year you are trying to arbitrarily decide which one is better and which one deserves to be in a four-team playoff or a six-team playoff. No matter where you draw that line, you're going to have controversy and people who are honked off because their team got cut off." -- Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon, on preferring bowls to playoff systems (ESPN)

ON THE OTHER HAND, HE DID A GREAT JOB OF FORCING T.J. YATES AND JACOBY JONES TO TURN IT OVER

"They had a lot of guys in the box on him and they were giving [the pass] to him. I think a couple of times he needed to get rid of the ball. It just didn't look like he had a hold on the offense. I don't know how much of [that was] the play calling ... but it just didn't look like he had a hold on the offense, you know, of times past ... It was just kind of like they [were] telling him [what] to do -- throw the ball or get it here, you know, get it to certain guys." -- Ravens safety Ed Reed, on his quarterback's performance last round (Shutdown Corner)

"I wonder if Flacco is going to get the credit he feels he deserves after today?" -- Texans linebacker Connor Barwin, referencing Flacco's media criticism last week (Twitter)

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO DO MY JOB FOR THEM?

"My mudder was a mudder, so I think I’m going to be all right." -- Giants tackle David Diehl, on potentially soggy weather in San Francisco (Newark Star-Ledger)

YOUR DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR IS PRETTY NEW THOUGH, YOU HAVE TO ADMIT

"That is not our style of defense; we don't play prevent, have never played it and nothing is new. Nothing has changed, so we live by the blitz and we die by the blitz." -- Saints safety Malcolm Jenkins, on letting the 49ers win the game late with some aerial heroics (Times Picayune)

THE ELIXIR OF MINOR LOCKER ROOM ANNOYANCES RECIPE DROPS IF YOU SLAY REX RYAN

"A locker room is kind of like alchemy, putting it together. You have to put it together." -- Jets owner Woody Johnson, on his team's chemistry foibles (MLive)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 20 Jan 2012

6 comments, Last at 22 Jan 2012, 3:10am by Intropy

Comments

1
by Aloysius Mephis... :: Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:19pm

Props for referencing Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport, for my money the funniest Simpsons episode ever.

4
by The Hypno-Toad :: Fri, 01/20/2012 - 7:05pm

In all the confusion and michigas of reading TWIQ, I forgot to read the titles.
But yeah, that is a great episode. There's seven or eight lines from that one which I drop at least once a month.

2
by Theo :: Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:58pm

Did the Jets locker room get tired of Captain Wing It?
It's ok for a QB to be average at the start of your career, but when you decline in year 3 and show no signs of development, I can imagine some guys start wondering who else is on the roster.

3
by Dean :: Fri, 01/20/2012 - 1:33pm

Not surprising to se No-Show Stinko being surprised at a player actually playing with intensity. Some guys never learn that the sideshow is not the show.

5
by nightshifte :: Sat, 01/21/2012 - 11:40am

A PAPER IS NOT A CONTRACT, BUT IT'S VERY NICE

is this a reference to "A Kiss is not a contract"? by Flight of the Conchords. Because if so, that made me chuckle.

6
by Intropy :: Sun, 01/22/2012 - 3:10am

It's very, very nice.