Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

16 Nov 2012

The Week In Quotes: November 16, 2012

compiled by Rivers McCown

NEW ADDENDUM TO ROBO-PUNTER: MUST BE ABLE TO GIVE INTERVIEW ANSWERS LIKE THIS

"Not that I know of. I was too busy doing high-fives and spiking the ball." -- Ravens punter Sam Koch, on if any Raiders were upset with him after his fake field goal touchdown (The Oakland Tribune)

NITTANY PITY PARTY

"Man, I don't know. We're not gonna get that call here. We're not gonna that call ever, actually, against any team. Doesn't matter who the refs are. We'll never get that call. Why do you think it is? It's just the way it is, man. Write what you think. … It's us against the world and we're not gonna get those types of calls in these types of games." -- Penn State quarterback Matt McGloin, after a replay official refused to give the Nittany Lions a touchdown (The Patriot News)

HUH, IT'S ALMOST LIKE MAKING EVERY DECISION BASED ON MONEY IS A PHILOSOPHY THAT LEADS TO YOUR FANS DOING THE SAME

"One of our biggest challenges in the league is the experience at home. HD is only going to get better." -- NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, on the stadium experience (New York Post)

SOUNDS LIKE TENNESSEE NEEDS TO FIND SOME MORE EDUCATION FOR THEIR DEFENSIVE COORDINATORS

"I'm paid to win football games. I mean ... my education. That's what the SEC likes to call 'getting paid.'" -- Tennessee quarterback Tyler Bray, on how the season has gotten away from the Volunteers (Dr. Saturday)

"It was pretty funny because right before that, he told me -— the defense probably could have seen what he was doing -— he put his hand up and he was doing this, this and that. It was funny because that's what he did, and it worked." -- Missouri quarterback James Franklin, on Dorial Green-Beckham drawing up a play to beat the Tennessee secondary for a touchdown on his hand in the huddle (Dr. Saturday)

YOUR NEUTRALNESS, IT'S A BEIGE ALERT!

"I don't know exactly how it feels, yet. I don't know quite how to feel right how. I've asked several people, some of our players. And I think they feel like I do. Don't know quite how to feel right now." -- 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh, after the Rams and 49ers tied (CSN Bay Area)

"I don’t know, I don’t know how to feel. I’m just like you, I guess as the season unfolds we will see how positive or negative this will be on us but we have to continue to move forward and learn from it. We did a lot of good things in this game but also some things that didn’t help ourselves, things we talked about in previous games that kind of prevented us from completely taking the game over." -- Rams running back Steven Jackson, on ties (Sports Radio Interviews)

LOGIC HAS NO PLACE IN AN ANNOUNCING BOOTH

"Logic tells you the football was in the end zone but you can't use logic here." -- CBS Announcer Gary Danielson, during the Texas A&M-Alabama game (Awful Announcing)

FUNNY, BRIAN DABOLL FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT JAMAAL CHARLES

"Aw hell nah, there go that horse. I don’t f*ck with that horse. The horse. I gotta wait ’til the horse pass. I don’t mess with horses, bruh. Straight up. Might come over here and throw a tantrum. Hold up, coach, that horse out there. That horse. Oooh, she need to go on ahead with that horse. I don’t fool with no horses, boy. Hell nah." -- Chiefs safety Eric Berry, on his fear of horses (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

"ALSO, IF YOU USE LESS THAN 130 OF YOUR 140 ALLOCATED CHARACTERS, BRANDON ROY GETS TO KICK YOU IN THE SHINS."

"Credential Holders (including television, Internet, new media, and print publications) are not permitted to promote or produce in any form a “real-time” description of the event. Real-time is defined by the NCAA as a continuous play-by-play account or live, extended live/real-time statistics, or detailed description of an event. Live-video/digital images or live audio are not permitted. Each of the aforementioned descriptions is exclusive to the official athletic website of the host institution (GoHuskies.com), the official athletic website of the visiting institution, and any designee of the UW department of athletics. Periodic updates of scores, statistics or other brief descriptions of the competition throughout the event are acceptable, as long as they do not exceed the recommended frequency (20 total in-game updates for basketball, 45 total in-game updates for football). Credential Holder agrees that the determination of whether an outlet is posting a real-time description shall be in UW’s sole discretion. If UW deems that a Credential Holder is producing a real-time description of the contest, UW reserves all actions against Credential Holder, including but not limited to the revocation of the credential." -- New University of Washington social media policy (GoHuskies.com)

NO WAY, YOU'RE SAYING THAT TRADING FOR A NEWSMAKING BACKUP QUARTERBACK WHEN YOUR STARTER WASN'T THAT GOOD TO BEGIN WITH LED TO A GIANT MEDIA CIRCUS?

"It’s not even close. All the other quarterbacks know it. I have all the confidence in Mark. We don’t really have a choice." -- Jets guard Matt Slauson, on a possible quarterback change (New York Daily News)

"I believe that there are Tebow fans, and there are Broncos fans. My responsibility is to the Broncos fans, and my responsibility is to (owner) Pat Bowlen and what he wants to do, and that's win championships." -- John Elway, on making the decision to trade Tim Tebow (USA Today)

I WAS SIMPLY, UH ... TRYING TO LURE MY MAN TO SLEEP. YEAH! YEAH, THAT'S IT!

"I really don't think too much of it. I think somebody was a little bored and had a little extra time on their hands and figured they can go out and make a video. But like I said earlier, they don't know the half of what actually went on." -- Virginia Tech wideout Marcus Davis, on a viral video produced of his "blocking" (The Roanoke Times)

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE!

"I did not hit him in his head, and actually he ran into me. I just felt like he was going to take off and run with the ball and I thought he was past the line." -- Texans linebacker Tim Dobbins, on the hit that allegedly caused Jay Cutler's concussion (CSN Chicago)

DON'T MIND WILL, HE'S JUST EOS'ING

"We say at our house when Will is jumping up and down and acting crazy on the sidelines, the boys and I say that he is having an EO -- an emotional outburst. The boys will come home and say, 'Daddy, you had some major EOs on the sideline.'" -- Wife of Florida head coach Will Muschamp, Carol, on his sideline demeanor (Gator Zone)

BROOKING WILL TEACH HIM THE WALKER SHUFFLE

"You can never run out of sack dances. It’s always different on every play. The excitement is always different every stadium, every play. I don’t think I’ll ever run out of sack dances. If I do, I’ll just get with Keith Brooking. I’m sure he can show me a couple." -- Broncos linebacker Von Miller, on if he'll ever run out of sack dances (Broncos.com)

DON'T LET ME LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE CRAIG JAMES WAS RIGHT

"This was going to be our year. My teammates and I were aspiring to be the winning team you deserve. Unfortunately for all, the new coaching staff has destroyed that endeavor. I believe coaches have a chance to mold players, to shape men, to create greatness. However, the new regime of coaches has preferred to belittle, intimidate and humiliate us. This approach has obviously not been successful, and has put a dark shadow on this program." -- Former Washington State wide receiver Marquess Wilson, on quitting the program (Visalia Times-Delta)

"I have members of my staff that are in all aspects of practice, locker rooms. Student-athlete welfare is always at the top of my list of my priorities. Football is a tough game. Tough players are the result of tough coaches. Our practices are an hour and a half. They are intense, but they're the same every single day." -- Washington State athletic director Bill Moos, on Wilson's accusations (SB Nation)

"ARE YOU FIRED YET?" "NO." "ARE YOU FIRED YET?" "NO." "ARE YOU FIRED YET?"

"I'm not hot under the collar. You ask a stupid question you should get a stupid (bleeping) answer." -- Chargers head coach Norv Turner, to a reporter who asked if the status quo was acceptable if the wins don't follow (NFL.com)

JIMBO FISHER: BCS ADVOCATE

"That's not the way I think. It was a poor choice of words. I didn't mean to offend anyone in any way." -- Florida State head coach Jimbo Fisher, on calling the BCS "retarded" (Dr. Saturday)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 16 Nov 2012

16 comments, Last at 17 Nov 2012, 7:39pm by the K

Comments

1
by Dean :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:53am

"HUH, IT'S ALMOST LIKE MAKING EVERY DECISION BASED ON MONEY IS A PHILOSOPHY THAT LEADS TO YOUR FANS DOING THE SAME"

You say this like it's a bad thing?

6
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:46pm

It is from the NFL's perspective ... my guess is that they'd prefer fans to make their decisions based on their love of the game

2
by stephenbawesome :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:20am

Marquess Wilson, not Marquez.

8
by Rivers McCown :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:54pm

Thanks.

3
by jfsh :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:34am

What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?

4
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:40pm

"We'll never get that call. Why do you think it is?"

Because your program is a pariah that people just wish would go away? Oh, you meant that rhetorically. My mistake.

7
by commissionerleaf :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:47pm

Because Penn State students are being punished because some guy who used to coach there in the early 90's is a freak?

Nothing like the NCAA to make you sympathetic to a football program.

9
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:55pm

You left out the "and the university apparatus intentionally covered up his activities for many years afterwards." It's rather critical.

10
by commissionerleaf :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 1:28pm

1. I still don't care. I don't really care about the Penn State football program either, but the only thing that story made me think was "Gee, I wish they'd stop writing news articles about this."

2. It still isn't the students' fault, or even mostly the program's.

13
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 2:22pm

I'm failing to see how the students are being "punished". (did you specifically mean the football players?) They still get education at a quality institution. Unless your definition of "punished" is being forced to watch bad football, in which case, Northwestern students have been punished for about 90% of the football seasons the last 50 years or so.

14
by eddy (not verified) :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 4:01pm

Right, because no player was ever drafter over another because his team was better. Sheesh, I'm not going to say the call was purely a Sandusky thing, but to pretend that robbing unrelated athletes of a deserved win just to make a point to an already rich AD and his lackey's is acceptable, I must say, is shallow and pedantic.

15
by Intropy :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 6:40pm

As is your meat loaf.

5
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:43pm

"Real-time is defined by the NCAA as a continuous play-by-play account or live, extended live/real-time statistics, or detailed description of an event. Live-video/digital images or live audio are not permitted."

So... Washington doesn't want its games shown on TV anymore? Am I interpretting that correctly?

11
by Marko :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 1:36pm

No. That's directed at things like local TV stations, which may be filming clips that can be shown on the sports report by the goofball and/or incompetent sports anchor on the local TV news. It's not directed at a TV network (ABC/ESPN, Fox Sports, or Pac-12 Network) that has the rights to broadcast the game. Similarly, the reference to live audio is directed to things like local radio stations that may have reporters there, not to the radio stations and networks that have the rights to broadcast the games.

12
by Revenge of the NURBS (not verified) :: Fri, 11/16/2012 - 2:12pm

That what I'd assume as well. But that's not what it says, unless the term "Credential Holder" is defined elsewhere in such a way that it excludes rights-paying networks and the like.

16
by the K :: Sat, 11/17/2012 - 7:39pm

Sorry guys. Meant to submit this one earlier in the week.

"His throwing motion was the worst. I thought we traded for Tebow for a second." -Seahawks WR Sidney Rice, after catching an ugly pass from fellow WR Golden Tate for a TD.