compiled by Rivers McCown

SOMEONE PUT THIS IN URBAN DICTIONARY AND MAKE THE DEFINITION "1910'S EUROPEAN CAVALRY UNIFORM-ESQUE"

"I like them. I like the throwback, man. That bumblebee, jailhouse look from back in the day. I'll try to put 'swag' and 'swurve' in the same word. How about 'swavvin'? You got to have that Looney Toons accent like Porky the Pig when you say it, too. 'Swav-v-v-v-v-v-v-in.'" -- Steelers cornerback Ike Taylor, on Pittsburgh's throwback uniforms (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

EXCEPT US, RIGHT BOB? HELLO?

"People aren’t very intelligent about football." -- Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops, on criticism of Landry Jones (Dallas Morning News)

EXCUSE ME STEWARDESS, I SPEAK JIVE

"Just gobble, gobble, gobble turkey from jive turkey gobblers ... that paints a pretty good picture. He's a very confident guy." -- 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh, on questions about Alex Smith's confidence (SB Nation)

SIT PERFECTLY STILL; ONLY I MAY DANCE

"He's going to do wonderful things. I don't know what field of life." -- South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier, on the devastating injury suffered by running back Marcus Lattimore (AP)

"A lot of quotes came across the country and I read one today from the head coach at our upstate school. You know, that school that used to beat us a lot that doesn't beat us much anymore, that one. Usually when that coach up there talks about South Carolina it's a bunch of garbage and a bunch of BS usually. But I have to agree with him on what he said the other day." -- Spurrier, on legitimate praise about Lattimore from Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney (Dr. Saturday)

"WE ARE BOUND TO WIN GAMES WITH MATT CASSEL AS OUR LEADING RUSHER" -- FAKE BRIAN DABOLL

"Now, that I'm not exactly sure either." -- Chiefs head coach Romeo Crennel, on why Jamaal Charles had just five carries last Sunday (Twitter)

"You go as the game develops. You try to run or pass based some on what you think you can do and some on what they’re doing. If they’re doing a good job of stopping the run over and over, we’re going to try and move the ball in another fashion. If we’re running the ball well, we’ll continue to run the ball." -- Chiefs offensive coordinator Brian Daboll, explaining Charles' usage (Kansas City Star)

HIPSTER BILL SNYDER WOULD DRESS AS HIMSELF FOR HALLOWEEN

"I am walking (in the hotel) and son of a gun if there's not a guy standing there that looks exactly like Bill Snyder. He's got him a purple shirt. He's got a clipboard. Bill Snyder's got a trademark that he wears Nike Cortezes, and he's got some deal with Nike that they go through all those old warehouses and they find Nike Cortezes to fit Bill, and Nike Cortezes are some of the best shoes they have ever had. Quite frankly, I don't know that Nike has made a better shoe than the Cortez. I have a lot of respect for Nike, but that was one of their masterpieces. I actually asked Bill to send me a pair, but he never has. They had their shoes done up so it looked like the Nike Cortezes. As we are walking the meetings, for a second I did a double take and think, 'What is Bill Snyder doing here?' It wasn't Bill, but it was a pretty good costume." -- Washington State head coach Mike Leach, on the greatest Halloween costume he's seen (CoachingSearch.com)

JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE PLAYING WITH YOUR ACTUAL KID IN DENVER IN THREE YEARS

"What did I get? I mean, they were mad at me on the sideline for stopping them. It's tough being a dad sometimes, you know?" -- Broncos receiver Brandon Stokely, on thwarting a planned Eric Decker/Demaryius Thomas touchdown celebration (Denver Post)

YOU KIDS AND YOUR SPREAD ATTACK CAN GET RIGHT OFF MY LAWN

"I don't know what that word means. I don't think it's accurate and I'm not sure I care, and I didn't really even know that. I appreciate the insight." -- Alabama head coach Nick Saban, on being called a curmudgeon (Yahoo!)

THOSE BIG BULLY REFEREES, JUST A BUNCH OF INSTIGATORS

"I honestly don't know what happened. It all seems like a blur right now." -- Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall, on being restrained and ejected after arguing with an official during Sunday's game (Shutdown Corner)

"From that particular camera angle you can’t see what that ref’s saying to me. So it looks like I’m just out there giving him a piece of my mind and he’s smiling and walks away. And that’s not the case at all. He’s dishing it out just as much as I’m dishing it out." -- Hall, on the referee (Washington Post)

SPEAKING OF NOT FEELING ANY EMPATHY...

"We're kind of in the same boat, but their boat is a little bit different than ours. We didn't do anything to get our sanctions. Ours are unrelated (to football). At the same time, we both can't go to a bowl game. Other than that, we didn't do anything to help our football team. ... We didn't do anything to help our program cheat. I'm not saying they're cheaters. We have a lot of respect for Ohio State." -- Penn State linebacker Mike Mauti, on if he feels any empathy towards Ohio State (CSN Philly)

SOMEBODY START YOUR NANOWRIMO PROJECT WITH THIS QUOTE

"That little nutcracker dude that's guarding the house. I like how he just sits there and stays still. It's pretty cool." -- Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, on dedicating his first celebration to the Buckingham Palace guards (CSN New England)

CAN IT JUST BE A TEAM ENTIRELY COMPOSED OF NFL BACKUPS? CAN TIM TEBOW PLAY IN IT?

"Alabama, gosh, they look like they could beat a couple of those NFL teams that I’ve watched on Sundays. I think a lot of the oddsmakers out there, that usually know what’s going on, I’d guess Alabama would be favored by a little bit." -- South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier, on the talent at Alabama (College Football Talk)

YES, IF THERE'S ONE TEAM THAT'S SECURE FOR THE FUTURE AT QUARTERBACK, IT'S JACKSONVILLE

"I wouldn’t consider it a battle at all. Whatever moves, I guess, people want to make, but I think we’re pretty satisfied here at quarterback." -- Jaguars quarterback Blaine Gabbert, on the potential of a Tim Tebow trade to Jacksonville (Detroit Free-Press)

TALK ABOUT PUTTING ALL YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE...

"Yeah, Mitch and I talked. We’ve been talking about an extension. I’m just kidding." -- Kentucky head coach Joker Phillips, on if he's spoken to the athletic director recently (Twitter)

RAN OUT OF E'S FOR "NEW MEXICO STATE"

"Go Tigers Beat Somebody" -- Sign at an Auburn Krystal (Alabama.com)

SUGGESTION: WRITE "COVER SOMEBODY" INSTEAD

"When I say I'll do anything to win, I'll lay it on the line. Since high school, I've been writing 'Suicide Mission' on my chest. I don't know how I'm going to come out. I don't know. I'm going to lay my body on the line. My parents know that, too." -- Jets safety LaRon Landry, on his pre-game habits (USA Today)

NOW THAT HE'S LOST THE PAUNCH, HE'S THE HOMELESS MAN'S RON ZOOK

"How do I look? I've lost 22 pounds. You think I like losing? I haven't been around it. I hate it. You just continue to go. Plug forward. I've learned a lot. No, I don't like losing. I hate it." -- Illinois head coach Tim Beckman, on the toll losing takes on him (Dr. Saturday)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 02 Nov 2012

13 comments, Last at 06 Nov 2012, 4:14pm by RichardD